


Respite

by Talinor



Series: Respite, Rapture, and the bridge works between [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Languages, Alien Mythology/Religion, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), First Kiss, First Meeting, Fluff, Getting Together, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Swearing, Trans Keith (Voltron), with sprinkles of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 139,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: He turned the ornate black knob and went through to the balcony without a second thought. He didn't even look out the window first- just went through, closed the door, and leaned against it. He let out a sigh of relief. For once this entire day, he wasfinallyalone."You needed some time alone too, hm?" An unfamiliar voice made his relaxing instincts jump back to attention in an instant.Or maybe not 'finally alone' yet.-Keith meets Lotor at a party without really knowing who he is while still struggling with the huge pressure placed on him as the new leader of Voltron.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> me, on my knees: please God don't have Lotor be too OOC in this  
> me: please God don't let Keith and Lotor be somehow related  
> I was gonna release this tomorrow, but I didn't want to end up watching season 3, hating this, and never uploading it  
> so here you go!  
> enjoy!

The main rooms of the Vrynean Castle looked stunning. The air practically popped with their magical energy in one place, small silver tears in reality swallowing up their hands for a moment whenever they needed something. Then they'd pull it in and the tear would dissipate like it never existed in the first place.

White balls of light floated about the ornate halls. They'd follow a few guests for a while, then move on to darker places. Their light showcased the Vryneans' colorful scales adorning their dull violet features. Some of their decorative robes had the same effect. Plain white became pearlescent, colors rippling like a sea on their stocky frames. Red became enflamed, golden orange and yellow reaching up to the sky. The list only went on and on- each color only more extravagant and beautiful than the last. It was a wonderful sight to see.

Soft music floated in and out of seemingly nowhere, styles ranging from a fading out orchestra to a single soulful voice in an empty theater. There weren't any bands or anything, just one of the Empress' servants. She stayed in constant concentration- unseen brows furrowed, electric blue eyes out of focus and glancing all around at nothing visible, and her hands shifting as the energy flickered in and out around her moving fingers.

The castle had beautiful giant windows, showcasing the silvery gardens and deep purple horizon. From one of the windows, you could see the rarest sight the Vryneans had never seen before- the great Altean Castle of legend. The home of the valiant pilots and wise Lions of Voltron. 

Figures that had once been the heroes of mere stories for children and subjects of secret speculation were now _here,_ on their planet! They were abuzz with excitement at the revelation. It was an honor to even see one of the Paladins, let alone be able to _talk to them._

So it was pretty much a requirement that all the Paladins would attend a ball in their honor after the alliance talks were finished. They didn't have to wear anything special- in fact, it was _encouraged_ they wear whatever they wanted so the people could see what they preferred in their down time.

Each Paladin had at least a small group around them. Lance in his armor basked in the attention, probably bragging any chance he could get. None of them seemed to mind if he 'exaggerated' a little bit. In fact, they seemed to like it more the more exciting it sounded. They were practically eating every word out of his mouth with a spoon- or whatever their version of a spoon was called.

Pidge snuck out the first chance they got. They didn't bother with anything but their regular clothes, minus the shoes. It was pretty obvious they weren't going to stick around for long. But they did seem to have a short conversation with the Empress' daughter about their age, small colorful lion-fish-esque fins on her arms flaring whenever she smiled. And she had smiled at them more than a couple times.

Hunk probably had the biggest crowd around him out of all of them. Unlike the others, he wanted to dress up for the occasion. Coran hooked him up with some traditional Vrynean robes that shimmered and shone like the sun. It fit him perfectly, and made him even more popular with the locals. Apparently he was the 'living model of the perfect Vrynean'.

At least, that was how one of his fawning fans put it. It was nice to see Hunk getting appreciation, at least. He certainly deserved it.

Many were hanging off of him, eyes wide and practically absorbing every word he'd said. He didn't seem to mind it too much. But he did shift his arms a couple times to stop anyone trying to get _too_ friendly. All it took was that, a few words, and his award-winning gracious smile and they'd stop.

Allura was off talking to the Empress somewhere else. Whether they were still talking about politics and possible war plans or managed to shift away from the topic for a night, it was hard to guess. But knowing the Princess, the former was a _lot_ more likely.

Even Coran in his uniform had his own little group around him. Though unlike the others, he was the only one standing while the Vryneans sat around him in plush velvet-like seats that looked like fancy beanbag chairs. He seemed to be telling stories about his time before the war in explicit detail. With hand gestures and probably ridiculous voices. Most of the Vryneans looked fascinated by it, while a few looked like they were dragged along by their partners.

And Keith...

Keith was sitting at the closest thing to a bar and only wanted to go back to the Castle. Pidge had the right idea- go in, talk a little bit to make the locals happy, and get the hell out of dodge. He only wished he was smart enough to do that before someone found out he was the Black Paladin. Once that information got out, it was over. He was hounded by people every step he took since.

So eventually he figured it would be better just to sit down and accept it. The Vrynean were apparently very curious people, but once they had their answers and figured out he didn't want to talk, they'd leave him alone. Not to mention the seats were actually pretty comfortable. Thank God for small mercies. 

"Sir!" He turned his head and watched as a smaller Vrynean made their way through the tiny crowd to him, loud and wavering voice sticking out from the melody of voices trying to talk to him. The others fell silent and let the short one pass. They looked pretty young, with wide silvery eyes with milky pupils, crooked glasses that looked handmade out of a lot of chicken wire, and robes that looked just a bit too big for them.

They quieted down when they got over to him. They looked away from him and started fidgeting with their hands, tiny ragged fins flickering nervously. He raised a brow, but he still patted the seat next to him. They looked to him with confusion.

"Did you wanna ask me something?" He asked gently. "You don't have to sit if you don't want to."

Their eyes widened. "Oh!" They said, scrambling to the seat quickly. "Yes, I just-" The Vrynean stared up at him with wonder. "I-I can't believe the pally-dins are actually _here._ Everyone thought I was _crazy_ for telling them you were gonna show up someday and..." Their hands flapped in excitement, their words only getting faster and faster as they spoke.

He had to admit- it was adorable.

"But you prob'ly don't wanna waste your time with someone like me," they said, chuckling nervously. "So I-I'll just be quick 'bout it and stop botherin' you." They brought a small raggedy-looking journal out of their robe and handed it over to him. It had black scratchy lettering in the middle of the cover in letters he didn't understand, and an old-looking pen tucked into the spine gingerly.

"Could you please sign..." They opened the book and flipped to the right page quickly, yellowed pages crinkling at the movement. They pointed at a page with a... surprisingly detailed pen drawing of Voltron, sword out and ready to swing. "This page, right here?" They pointed at a small empty space on Red. "You're the Red Pally-din, right?"

His stomach sank. He still wasn't used to piloting another Lion, let alone _Shiro's_ Lion. Honestly, he still wasn't sure if he even deserved Black. If the faith Shiro placed in him was well-placed. The others probably knew it too. They just didn't want to bring it up around him.

 _God,_ he missed Red. She was familiar, warm and teasing once he'd gotten to know her. If she wasn't a huge sentient mechanical lion he used to pilot, she'd probably be like a big sister to him. She always used to tease him about his 'mane' and flying maneuvers, but she was always _there_ for him. Even when he just sat in her cockpit listening to her thrumming purr all around him for hours once, she didn't judge him for it. Their bond was pretty strong. Even if they'd only known each other for a few months.

And now it was gone. Once Black 'claimed him' as her own, Red cut it. _To make it easier on you,_ she'd told him. _I'm sorry, cub, but this is for your own good._

Black didn't feel the same. Red was warm and inviting, once you got to know her a little bit. They were so alike, it didn't take much to get past her aloofness and realize she was secretly just a big softie at heart. A softie with a raging old fire in her soul and claws longer than his entire body, but a softie to him nonetheless.

He and Black were still at that awkward first stage. He'd been her pilot for two weeks or so now, but they just... hadn't really clicked yet. She was stern and demanding. His little mistakes during readjustment training weren't easily forgiven. He had to remain calm under pressure, he had to be there for his team, he had to value them just as much as (if not more than) himself. He had to be better at flying her, he had to be better at keeping his emotions in check, he had to be better at making sure his team was okay. It didn't matter what it was about- he just had to be _better._

She reminded him of the instructors at the Garrison. The only difference between them was that the Garrison didn't really have high expectations for him starting out. They probably just figured Shiro's praises were just the exaggerations of a proud big brother. Black already _knew for a fact_ how good he was. So instead of blowing expectations out of the water, it seemed all he could do was disappoint her.

He hated disappointing people. Especially her, just because it felt like an extension of disappointing Shiro. And if there was only one person he never wanted to let down, it was him.

"I..." For a second, he wanted to say yes. Wanted to lie and believe for just a few hours that it was still true.

But he found himself shaking his head instead. "No, I'm not," he said. "I'm the Black Paladin, actually."

They blinked a couple times in confusion. "But... you're wearing the Red Pally-din armor." They moved their hand away from the drawing. "If you pilot the Black Lion, why aren't you wearing the Black Pally-din armor? What does the Red Pally-din wear?"

"It's... a long story," he said. "One I don't want to tell right now." He scanned through the crowd for the person he wanted to find. It wasn't too difficult. "But if you want the Red Paladin," he pointed over to Lance making some Vryneans giggle with some dumb story or pick-up line or something. "He's right there."

"...But he's wearing blue," they said. Their face started to scrunch up. "If the Black Pally-din's wearing the Red armor an' the Red Pally-din's wearing the Blue armor, then who's wearing the Black Armor? Why'dja got it all switched around for? Where's the Black Armor?"

Keith could help but scoff bitterly. "If I knew that, kid, I wouldn't be here." He looked to see the Vrynean's eyes starting to well up with pearlescent tears. Oh no. "Wait," he said. "I-I didn't mean it that way, it's just--"

They yanked their journal back from his hands. "N-No, it's _f-fine,"_ they told him, their escaping tears and hiccuping breaths showing that they were definitely _not_ fine. "I-I know when 'm n-not-" an actual hiccuping sound interrupted their talking this time. "N-not wanted. Sorry f-for wasting your time, Black Pally-din."

Before he could protest or even say another word, they'd left into the crowd. The one standing around him all had pretty much the same expression- disgusted anger. None of them even tried to hide it.

"Why did you do that?" One asked.

Another chimed in. "Do you even know what you just called them?"

A chorus of questions rose quickly. None of them had moved toward him, but it felt like they were closing in on him. His chest tightened. He didn't understand. What did he say wrong enough to make a little kid _cry?_

If it could, his brain would probably be banging two pans together and chanting, _YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP_ while he still had no idea _how._ It was making him feel sick. Maybe he should've just lied and told the kid that he was the 'Red Pally-din'. It would be a hell of a lot better than this.

"I..." Keith stood up from his seat suddenly, slightly pushing past the crowd around him. "I gotta go." It felt like his mouth had been stuffed with cotton balls.

He needed to go somewhere quiet, a place where he could be alone and pull himself together. Hopefully outside. He really needed some fresh air right about now.

It looked like one of the nearest windows had a balcony. Not a lot of people were by the big see-through doors, so there probably wasn't anyone there right now. The perfect place for him right now. He headed right for it, ignoring any and all Vryneans trying to talk to him as he passed by.

It was pretty rude, but he couldn't really find it in him to give a damn right now.

He turned the ornate black knob and went through to the balcony without a second thought. He didn't even look out the window first- just went through, closed the door, and leaned against it. He let out a sigh of relief. For once this entire day, he was _finally_ alone.

"You needed some time alone too, hm?" An unfamiliar voice made his relaxing instincts jump back to attention in an instant.

Or maybe not 'finally alone' yet.

Keith glanced to the one who'd spoken. It wasn't too hard, considering they were the only other person on the balcony right now.

And... _wow._

That was the first word that popped into his head. They stood at the balcony's carved railings a few feet away, easily standing about 5 inches taller than him. He wasn't one to really think too much about how attractive aliens the Paladins met were. There was no real point- they were there to do their mission. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, he could take a moment to appreciate them, but that was pretty much it for him.

But the one looking at him with curious yellow eyes and royal blue irises was a very rare exception. They had an elegant air to them- their shimmery white robes that revealed wide lilac shoulders glistening in the moonlight. Their long hair of almost the same exact color was pulled up into a swirling bun. Only two long strands stayed down by their pointed ears. Colorful jewels adorned the swirling patterns in their robes pretty nicely.

But he could spot a few light and fading scars on the skin he could see, including a nasty-looking cut through their upper lip. Whoever this was, they were more than just a pretty... _everything._ Everything about them was gorgeous- the scars just sealed the deal.

...This probably looked creepy. He should probably say something, right? It'd probably be better than just staring at this complete stranger. No matter how attractive they were.

"I- Yeah," he said. "It's... a bit overwhelming in there."

"I understand," the stranger assured, moving off the railing. "Do you want me to leave you to it, Paladin?" They stepped forward. "I can cover for you if you don't want company."

Before he could really think about it, his answer was already out.

"No," he blurted out. "I'm fine with just another person. It's just..." He gestured to the window door he was still leaning against. "In there. I'm not really one for big crowds." Never had been. Probably never will be.

They looked to him with slight surprise. The look quickly melted into a warm smile. "Well," they said. "It would be my pleasure to keep your company, Paladin." They glanced to the door then back to him. "I don't mind either way, but do you want to stay there or...?"

Not really. The metal was shifting his armor a bit uncomfortably.

"I'm fine," Keith assured them. "And the pleasure's mine, Miss or Mister...?" He trained off. What was the gender-neutral term? Was there even one yet? He had no idea.

Thankfully, they understood. "Mister," he told him. "Prince Lotor, to be specific."

His brows raised. It made sense, with the fancy robes and everything, but he hadn't been expecting the handsome stranger to actually be a prince. Did the Empress have a son? He certainly didn't look like her.

"So," Lotor strode over and leaned next to him on the castle's metal walls. "Did something happen to make you come out here, or did you just need some fresh air? Vryneans can be an exhausting bunch."

He sighed. "I made a kid cry," he definitely noticed how Lotor's eyebrows shot up at that. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

Lotor nodded in understanding. "Ah," he said. "If you called them a 'kid' back there, that was probably why they started crying." He glanced over to Keith. "It's a very vulgar insult here on Vrynea."

He groaned and rested the back of his head against the door. He called a child something nasty and made them cry. _Great._ Shiro was probably rolling wherever he was- _this_ was the legacy he chose to leave behind. A little brother that apparently couldn't get through one party without making some kind of mistake.

"Hey," the slight shift of pressure on his shoulder piece and the soft chiding voice brought him back to reality. "It's an honest mistake, Paladin. You couldn't have known. Beating yourself up over it won't change what's already passed, and it certainly won't make any consequences easier." They met glances. "It's simply something to learn and move on from." Lotor moved his hand away after a moment.

Keith blinked, mulling those words over in his head. They... actually made him feel better. Part of him still felt guilty about it, but it wasn't like he could change it now. He found himself smiling up at Lotor, admiring how otherworldly his outline in the moonlight made him look.

Well, technically Lotor was _already_ otherworldly. At least to him, being an alien and all. An unfairly pretty alien with a chiseled face and smelled vaguely like a pastry dish fresh out the oven. One that possibly could kick his ass if he had to. At least a potential sparring partner. Not that he'd ask a stranger he barely just met, but-

But that wasn't really his point. He was getting off track. _Get a grip Kogane,_ he thought. _You're better than this._

Point was- Prince Lotor looked even more breathtaking like this.

"...Thanks," he said. "I needed that."

Lotor shrugged. "It's really no problem. I understand it's difficult sometimes to get an rational perspective so soon after an upsetting event." He shot Keith a small grin. "I imagine it's even more so for a legendary warrior like yourself." He glanced down at the armor. "Are you the Red Lion's pilot?"

Keith deflated with a sigh. Here he went again. At least he probably wasn't gonna mess it up this time- hopefully. 

"Uh... No." He told him. "I'm the Black Paladin. I used to be the Red Paladin, but..." His face fell. It was easy enough to think that Shiro was gone, at least for him. _Saying_ that he was gone, admitting it was possible he might never come back from wherever he was, was a whole other story he'd rather not tell.

Lotor held up a hand. "Say no more," he said. "You don't want to talk about whatever happened. I understand."

"Thank you," Keith said. He went for the first topic that popped into his head. "So, are you..." How could he say this? He gestured to the door. "You know...?"

Lotor blinked at him in confusion a few times. His lashes were surprisingly long, the small black winged eyeliner only accentuating them. "Am I..." Suddenly his face lit up in realization. _"Ohh!_ Are you trying to ask me if I'm related to the Empress somehow?"

He nodded. God, this was starting to get awkward. Why didn't he just ask something else?

"Alright," Lotor nodded slightly. "And to answer- no, I'm not. My mother and her are long-standing friends though. I've practically known the Empress all my life." He looked out to the horizon. "A wonderful woman, my mother. But she's..." His face fell a bit. "...Not at her best right now, so she asked me to come in her stead."

"Oh." He probably shouldn't have tried to ask that. "...What about your dad? If you don't mind me asking." Apparently he didn't learn from his mistakes.

Lotor's face fell even more. "Ah," he said flatly. "My father." He crossed his arms. "He was a Galra soldier, one of my mother's subordinates as part of some kind of unification project some systems participated in. He was taken with her, and she with him- the usual love story. One that quickly headed for disaster. At least," he shrugged. "That's what Mother told me. I never met him personally. Their little affair was swept under the rug, as was my existence."

 _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?_ his brain practically screeched at him. Guilt lodged securely in his throat.

"...Oh." was all he could say. It came out a lot quieter this time.

They stayed in awkward silence for a couple seconds. Muffled music from the party inside didn't do much to lighten the heavy mood.

Keith stared at Lotor the entire time. Was that weird? Should he try saying something? What could he possibly say? _'Oh yeah man, that's rough. I went through that too, except my mom was the mysterious Galra and my dad wasn't royalty'?_ Yeah, like that wouldn't annoy Lotor even more. But he should probably say _something._

Luckily, he didn't have to.

Lotor huffed out a sigh. "This was... strange," he turned to Keith and held a hand out toward him. "Let's start it over."

Keith hesitantly grabbed and shook it. Was this a thing? Could two people just... reintroduce themselves? He'd never heard of anything like it before. But Lotor was looking at him expectantly, so he just started talking.

"Hi, I'm Keith, the new Black Paladin of Voltron." He stopped the firm handshake and smiled at 'the beautiful stranger.' "I promise not to bring up any possibly-dead parents this time. It's a pleasure to meet you."

'They' smiled back. "Oh, the pleasure's all mine, Black Paladin," they assured. "My name is Prince Lotor, and I promise I won't bring up any unknown predecessors you wouldn't want to talk about. It's an honor to meet yo-"

A loud vibration from inside his robes cut him off. He reached into one of the long draping sleeves and fumbled to take something out of what looked like a hidden pocket. It took him a few seconds to pick whatever it was out and show him- a small phone-like device with a clear screen and a backside with swirling purple ridges. Lotor looked at whatever was on the screen and then back to him apologetically.

"I must apologize," he said. "I'm going to have to take this message and leave." He raised a brow. "Have the Vryneans already given you one of these yet? They give them to all 'foreigners' at their parties."

"No," Keith told him. "Not yet. Why?"

Lotor quickly reached into his other sleeve and pulled a nearly identical black one out and handed it to him. "Here," he said. "You can have mine. One of the servants gave it to me tonight before I could turn them down." His gaze flickered between the back and Keith for a moment. "It's linked to my own, if you ever want to talk again."

"Plus," he pressed it into Keith's hands with a smooth grin. "The color certainly suits you."

With a quick wink Keith almost thought he'd imagined, Lotor moved past him gingerly back into the party. Keith watched the Prince go, talking to some tiny holographic figure as he blended back into the crowd. Soon enough, he was gone without a trace. The only thing he managed to leave behind was a slightly confused Paladin.

Keith looked down at the black case.

 _The color certainly suits you._ That silky sentence stayed in his head.

He couldn't help but smile to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An argument with Black, and what comes after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've been pretty busy with school and auditioning for the fall play (I got in!) but I tried to work on this as much as I could whenever I could.  
> Enjoy!

_Let's try this again._ He could practically feel Black's creeping annoyance. She was trying her best to hide it, but she wasn't trying hard enough. Or maybe his own annoyance made him able to feel hers. It was anyone's guess right now. He wasn't going to waste his time trying to analyze it.

His grip on the joysticks tightened. "Black," he said. "What's the point of this little 'exercise', again?" It just felt like a waste of time. He'd already been sitting in her pilot chair for what felt like an hour now.

_I'm_ trying _to connect with you,_ she told him matter-of-factly. _But your mind is so incredibly guarded, I can't find a way in. So if you wish to get out of here as soon as possible..._ she spoke like she was trying to get a stubborn kid to eat his vegetables or something. _Just relax and let me in._

Keith sighed. He didn't need to do this with Red. _Lance_ didn't need to do this with Red. It took Allura barely a few days to sync up with Blue just as much as all of them with their own Lions.

The only one that still needed this 'readjustment training' was him. He was the one holding all of them back. The rest of the team were all just too nice to admit that. And maybe that wouldn't change anytime soon. But he had to try, for their sake.

For Shiro's sake.

What would he say if he could see Keith now?

_You're still overthinking things,_ Black interrupted his train of thought, yet strangely fit with where it had been headed. _Just breathe._ He let out a sigh, letting himself sink into the comfortable leather. _Good. I'm not asking you to stop thinking completely, but your thoughts are too fast for me to synchronize with. All I want you to do is just slow them down a bit._

How the hell was he supposed to do _that?_ He'd never had to 'slow down' his thoughts before. His quick mind was what kept him alive. It's what got him to this point, so why would he ever slow it down?

"I..." He struggled to put his problem into words. "I don't know how."

_Well, if you don't,_ he could tell she was trying to be patient with him, but the bit of annoyance only grew. _You're probably going to be very late to dinner tonight. Maybe even miss curfew. I have time- I don't need to eat or sleep._

Keith scoffed. "Are we resorting to scare tactics already?"

_If I have to._ Black told him, but all he could imagine was Iverson back at the Garrison. He scowled. _The right kind of motivation can do wonders. Remember that, Keith._

"And tell me," he raised a brow. "How well did that work on Shiro and Zarko-"

_**Don't say his name,** _ her voice was hard. Edged with a feeling he couldn't really place. _And to answer your question, I didn't have to use it on either of them. Neither struggled and fought with me like a young child who didn't get what they wanted._

Keith shot up in his seat. "Because I _didn't_ want this!" He shouted. "I never wanted _any of this!"_

_Do you think_ I _did?!_ A wave of bitter anger washed over him. He wasn't sure who it was from. _Trust me- there are trillions of things I'd rather do than babysit some whiny immature child who'd rather isolate himself completely than bother to let anyone try and know him!_

Keith crossed his arms. "The feeling's mutual," he said. "I'd rather be anywhere else than in the cockpit of some holier-than-thou asshole Lion who doesn't see she's part of the problem." The wave churned through him, coming out bubbling and scathingly hot. He couldn't stop it from showing if he wanted to.

_And what is that supposed to mean?_ Apparently Black didn't care enough to hide it either. He only glared up at the ceiling. _You have something you want to say- go ahead. Say it. I'm all ears- how exactly am I part of your problems?_

"Right there!" he said before he could stop himself. "You call it 'my problems' when _you're_ the one who caused most of them!" He didn't mean to say it.

Not that Keith didn't mean what he said 100%, but he was still stewing from losing Shiro. He'd planned to keep it under wraps and let those feelings die out on their own. Not tell them to a giant mechanical lion who could easily crush him if she really wanted to. Especially not the one who was the subject of what he thought. This could be bad.

A burst of honest shock reverberated through his chest. One he hadn't really expected to feel, especially not so... _profoundly._ At least, not outside of his bond with Red. It caught him off guard for a moment.

He let go of the joysticks and quickly stood up.

_Keith-_ her voice was... surprisingly gentle. But he didn't really think much about why. Everything in him itched to leave the Lion, shake off this weird feeling. Give himself a few hours to cool off before he did or said something he might actually regret.

"I gotta go." He raced through the cold thrumming halls for the exit. Her metal maw stayed shut. "Black, let me out."

_No,_ she said stubbornly. _We're going to talk this out until-_

"'Until' _what?"_ He burst out. He'd already said stuff he'd probably regret later, why _not_ add to the steadily growing pile of his mistakes? "Until you realize you made a mistake choosing me? That Shiro was wrong? That all I'm gonna do is disappoint you and drag the team down with me? Cause _guess what?"_ Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. He did his best to blink them away. He let out a bitter laugh and opened his arms out. "I already know that! _You're_ the one that still needs to figure it out."

A haunting silence plagued them for what felt like hours. Keith could feel a small bit of... remorse prodding at his mind. Like he suddenly wanted to apologize for what he said, mulling it over. A somber and old regret followed at its heels. Feelings that made no sense to him, yet feelings he still somehow had anyways. Like a bond.

But Keith didn't think too much about it. He was so _tired_ of this. The confusing currents that pushed him along their depths didn't really do much to help that. It just made him sick in the pit of his already-empty stomach. Dinner sounded amazing just about now, but it wasn't like he could go get any.

As if she could read his thoughts, Black's mouth opened. Her catwalk extended to the familiar metal floor of the hangar.

_Go. Run away,_ her voice was controlled, almost impossible to interpret.

Almost.

She was trying to hide her feelings from him. He could tell that much- he was practically an expert at hiding his own, after all- but he couldn't tell _what_ she was trying to keep from him. Or why she'd do so.

But in the moment, he didn't really care. He just wanted to be anywhere but here for a few hours. Ever since the Vrynean ball a few days ago, he spent most of his waking hours in the Black hangar. Mainly trying to establish a real bond with her, but also to try and figure out if she really knew where Shiro was.

(All his efforts left him with nothing, of course.)

He quickly stepped out of Black, like she might change her mind and shut him in again if he wasn't fast enough. He didn't even look back at her- just kept going with a razor-like focus on the door a few yards away. He didn't even stop to process her last words to him before he left.

_It's what you do best, after all._

Those words were an invisible torpedo in the water. They washed over him at first, his mind focused on more important things like getting the hell out of the hangar and locking himself in his room. Possibly with a trip to the dining hall first.

His stomach rumbled in protest. He took it back- there was no _possibly_ in there. He was gonna get something to keep his stomach from trying to eat itself first. Hopefully no one else was in the dining hall or kitchen right now- he didn't really feel like talking to anyone right now. If he did, he'd probably end up saying something stupid he'd immediately regret or blow up at someone with the same effect.

He headed down the familiar hallways. The only sound to fill the silence for once was just his boots against the metal floor. Glass half full- no well-meaning but grating 'are you okay's, nothing to interrupt his train of thought or make his skin crawl on particularly bad days. He loved the peaceful silence. It reminded him of his old shack- nothing but the slight buzz of cicadas and chirping crickets for days. No awkwardness, no one to tick him off- it'd practically been perfect for him.

But as he kept going, his mind drifted to the negatives of silence for once. No loud laughing, no goofing off or joking around. Being alone was wonderful, but he had to admit being in the team had grown on him more than a bit. Some nights he'd be walking back from his nightly training session to see Pidge in some obscure nook or cranny on their computer, or Lance and Hunk goofing off in the kitchen, and he'd even caught Allura and Coran gazing at the map in the control room once.

She was asleep, and he was draping a blanket comfortably around her. Gentle enough not to wake her up. When he caught Keith staring, Coran gently shushed him and walked out of the room. It reminded him of all the times he'd fallen asleep in weird-ass places and woke up with Shiro's favorite comforter wrapped around him.

...And just like that, his mood dropped.

Shiro had been gone for nearly a month now, and they hadn't even done much to look for him. It's like the rest of them just... _gave up_ on finding him. Nobody even brought him up now except for him and Black. Could they really just forget about him so quickly? They were all just focused on ""readjustment training""- trying to tape over a gaping hole. Like they were all just trying to pretend Shiro never even existed.

That wasn't so _easy_ for him.

Loud and boisterous laughter echoing from the kitchen snapped him back to reality. He knew that laughter pretty well. It'd admittedly grated on his nerves to no end at first, but he'd gotten used to it. It wasn't the best laugh, but he had to admit- it wasn't nearly as bad or as annoying as he'd thought at first. 

As usual, it was tempered by a quieter, yet just as endearing laugh. The kind of laugh that couldn't help but make you crack a small smile. It filled you with an airy happiness for a sweet while. Especially when it was partnered with the first laugh into a contagious concoction that usually made him add a chuckle into the equation.

'Usually' being the key word. He didn't even crack a smile as he headed for the kitchen door. It's not that he really felt sad or anything, he just felt... _empty._ Like the hole everyone was trying to cover up was in his chest, only seeming to grow bigger and bigger with every passing thought about Shiro.

The kitchen door slid open to reveal just what he'd been expecting- Lance sitting on the countertop next to Hunk, who currently had what looked like a pastel blue bubbles from a bowl Lance was holding on his face. More specifically, the lower half of his face around his mouth. Hunk stared at him, wide-eyed and bubble-bearded. Lance did the same, thankfully without the beard.

Keith barely took a second to soak in the scene before him. He didn't know why they were doing this and frankly, he couldn't really find it in himself to care right now. Instead, he moved to get a small bowl a foot or so away from them. Palpable, thick silence hung through the air as he moved to the dispenser on the wall.

You know that feeling when you can just _feel_ people you can't look at staring at you? Their wide-eyed astonishment and/or embarrassment, with a little part of them probably hoping he'd break the awkward silence so neither of them had to? Their glances to each other and back at him like a weird ping-pong game?

That's the feeling he got as he filled his bowl. If they wanted him to ease the tension, they were gonna be sorely disappointed at the truth.

Usually, he'd at least crack a smile at the goofy sight. It was a comfort, albeit a small one, to see how lighthearted the two of them still were. How they managed to pull through and keep spirits up at the same time after everything they'd all been through. He could respect that.

But right now? He just... couldn't bring himself to do anything but what he came in for. It was a weird feeling he'd never had before- like a boulder was shackled to his ankles, dragging him below the waves quickly to be swallowed by the voracious empty depths. But there was no crushing pressure. He could still metaphorically breathe, even as he drifted down miles below sea level. There was no danger, no urgency in this scenario. Just... nothing. Inky black darkness within and without.

It scared him.

Finally, he could hear Lance clear his throat. He was probably gonna try to break the ice. Maybe ask him if he was okay.

"Hey man," his voice was soft. "Are you-"

Keith let out a huff. There it was. "I'm fine," he interrupted briskly, switching the dispenser off. "And before you ask- yeah, I'm _pretty sure."_ He grabbed a spoon and jabbed it into the food goo. "And I already know I can talk to you if I need to, but I don't." He turned back around to meet the concern he knew he was going to see. Hunk had managed to get most of the stuff of his face.

Not all of it, though. He still had a little bit left between his bottom lip and chin in an unintentional goatee. Usually he'd have let out a laugh at that. But once again, the sight didn't affect him in any way. He noted it and moved onto more important things than food facial hair.

"Geez," Hunk let out an uneasy laugh. "Are we really that predictable?" Trying to lighten the mood a bit. An appreciated effort, but one that only rubbed him the wrong way right now. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with his food goo and pretend everything outside of his room didn't exist for at least a couple hours.

"Yes," he didn't hesitate to answer bluntly. "Also, Hunk, buddy, you still have some shmutz on your face." He wiped at where the fake goatee would be on his own face. Hunk copied the motion with a slightly puzzled expression, scooping the remnants up with two fingers.

He showed it to Keith and Lance. "Did I get it?"

Lance studied his face for a brief moment and nodded. "Yeah, you got it." His focus quickly returned back to Keith. "Listen," he moved off the counter and towards him. "I know it's predictable and you get this a lot, but we really _mean it_ man. You wanna talk anytime, all of us are here for you. After all," he gave Keith a knowing grin. "We _are_ a good team." He put a hesitant hand on Keith's shoulder. "Okay?"

He should've been ecstatic. Or peeved that Lance remembered it all along. Or maybe both at the same time. But once again, nothing. Nothing but growing annoyance at the delay of what he wanted to do.

"Yeah," he said curtly. "Thanks." He spared the both of them a halfhearted smile for their efforts and went along his way. They really tried. He could begrudgingly respect that.

But he still headed out the kitchen faster than he normally would have.

_Go. Run away._ Black's indignant voice echoed in his head, rolling up and down the expanse of his memory. _It's what you do best, after all._ Those words hadn't bothered him that much when he first heard them. He'd shrugged them off like they meant absolutely nothing to him. He certainly heard it, but they didn't really register in his mind.

But on the way back to his room, they started to sink in. First barely a scratch- it didn't even draw blood up to the surface. A minor annoyance.

Then they got deeper. He thought about what had just happened in the kitchen. Dread and anxiety made the dark venomous claws sharpen. Hunk and Lance were worried about him- that much was clear as day. They were all a _team,_ for God's sake. He should be able to trust them with his feelings.

It's not like they didn't give him tons of chances to talk about it back there. The window had been wide open, practically begging for him to crawl in. To open up himself. He could have been honest and vulnerable with someone for once in his _goddamn life._ But what did he do instead?

He ran.

All his life, he was praised for few things. But it wasn't for a lack of trying. Whether the reward was an award or a simple compliment, he sure as shit _earned it_ in hours lost, sweat, and rarely even tears. When he was compared, he was usually the _best._

He had to be. People like him- little recipes for disaster, bombs just waiting to go off- didn't usually get scholarships to one of the highest military flight training schools by just coasting their way through school on a confident little cloud. Especially when they didn't really have anyone to fall back on if something went wrong.

None of his teachers liked him that much, but he didn't mind. Unless it affected his grades of course. Mainly cause the missed marks weren't actually problems he'd gotten wrong, just little pettiness vents. _That_ was something he could never stand for.

Because they could hate him till the time blended together and the universe collapsed on itself, but he did _damn good work._ He made sure everything was perfect. No matter what.

But no matter how many flawless academic marks he got in his record, however many sleepless nights he spent researching for essays and tests to get those marks, however many times he woke up with his cheek pressed to his desk, everything about him could be boiled down to two points. He wasn't ever good enough. And when he wasn't good enough, he ran.

When Dad left for the last time? He ran, clutching at the rough-and-tumble denim of his old jeans. Crying and begging to realize what he possibly did wrong. Promising with all his little heart that he'd be better this time.

When the social workers came to pick him up? He ran. He wanted to stay at his old home to wait. Dad would find him easier that way when he came back.

He never did. They caught Keith quickly, anyways.

When he was bouncing from foster home to foster home? He ran to refuge in his schoolwork. Equations were patient with him. Essays never thought of him as the 'weird orphan kid'. History looked upon him with the same warning glare it gave everyone else. Science taught him the wonders of the Earth and beyond, later sparking a flame not easily quenched.

When Shiro disappeared for the first time? He finally blew up. The Garrison staff locked him in till he could be taken back to the nearest town. They were stupid enough to leave him alone, like there was no way he could possibly escape.

Guess what he did after he broke the windows open?

He'd already tried to run from Voltron already.

Maybe Black was right. Maybe no matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day, all he ever did boiled down to another excuse to run away. To do what he really did best.

The torpedo found its target hidden in the depths. The claws shredded his skin mercilessly. Little bubbles drifted up to the surface, disappearing to God-knows-where. His nerves tightened and a deep heavy melancholy settled on his shoulders, but he still felt... empty. Those words just bounced around off hollow walls.

"...Keith?" A voice piped up. "Can you hear me?"

Keith blinked out of it only to meet his own door inches away from his face. He didn't even pay attention to the walk back. How long had he been wrapped up in his own thoughts, staring at the door like some kind of weirdo? God, he hoped it wasn't that long. Someone could apparently see him.

He looked over to see who it was. "What?"

Pidge stood a few inches away from him with an empathetic expression. They showed him the familiar device in their hand- the Vrynean communicator he'd gotten from the ball. "Just wanted to give this back," they said. "It took a little while to really make sense of it. I won't bore you with boring tech stuff, but Vrynean code is... surprisingly good." They handed it over. He held it gently. "Should be a lot less confusing now." They raised a brow. "Did you have a cell back home?"

He shook his head, then paused. "Well... _technically_ yes," he admitted. "Just not a new model. Mine was one of those flip phones. For emergencies." He never really used it- the only contacts he had were 911, his Dad's old phone, and Shiro. Even if he had remembered to bring it with him, none of his contacts were really able to help him now anyways.

Their eyes widened slightly. "Shit, really?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Cause this thing works like most of the newer models." They pointed to a small silver button at the very bottom. "Press that to turn it on, and there'll be a list of people you can call up. Yours finished the fastest, and the others are still finishing up, so you probably won't be able to call the others for about 2 more hours at most." They looked up at him and moved their hand away. "By the way..." The glint of mischievous curiosity was clear as day in their eyes. Already he dreaded their next words. 

It was an innocent question, but one that made his stomach sink nevertheless.

"Who's 'Prince Lotor'?" They asked. "He was the only contact this comm had before I synced all of ours up to each other." They raised a brow. "Sounds important."

"He's..." Keith struggled for the right words. Why was this so _hard?_ "Someone I met during the ball. A family friend of the Empress. We didn't really get to talk much, but he's the one who gave this to me." Their expression didn't change. Any second now, they were going to keep prying for information. He could _feel it._

So he did the only thing he could. He changed the subject.

"So, uh..." He went for the first thing that popped into his head. "How... long have you been trying to get my attention?"

Pidge didn't look convinced, but they answered anyway. "A couple minutes now," they told him, resting a shoulder on the wall. "You walked down the hall with this out-of-focus look in your eyes. I called for you a couple times, but I... don't think you heard me." Their expression softened.

Here it comes- the usual words. The well-meaning words he'd grown to hate.

They put a hand on his shoulder. (They had to reach a bit to get there, but not as much as they used to have to.) "Listen," their voice was soft. "It's still fresh right now. I get it- and trust me, it hurts like hell for a long time. But trust me on this, too," Their gaze was determined. "We _will_ find him. We'll find them both. No matter how long it takes. And when we blow up the base or wherever Shiro is," They grinned. "I'll lend you a grenade. You'd do the same for Matt and me, right?"

Keith stared down at them with surprise. That... was not what he'd expected. Thinking back on it, he probably should have. Pidge was the only one who knew his specific pain just as much as he did- loss of family without the certain closure of knowing they were dead. Not being able to move on, knowing that they were still somewhere out in the Universe God-only-knows-where.

He smiled. "You know it."

Pidge gave his back a pat. "Doesn't hurt to make sure," they said. "If you need someone to talk to, or just want someone around, you know where to find me. You don't have to do this alone." They met his gaze. "Okay?"

He swallowed. His throat felt dry. "Okay," he said. They seemed satisfied with that answer and started to head down the hallway. "...And Pidge?"

They stopped and looked back to him. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

They shrugged. "It's really no problem," they told him. "I'd like to think you'd say the same thing to me if we were switched." The mischievous glint popped back up in their eyes. "And by the way, while I was working on configuring the comm yesterday," they smirked. "Lotor called. You should probably call him back."

With that, they left. Probably heading back to their little makeshift work station to finish with the other comms.

He opened his door and headed into his room. Lotor called him. He should probably call the Prince back, right? Should he eat first? Was he overthinking things? ...Yeah, probably.

He sat down on his bed and crossed his legs. It took a little bit of shifting, but eventually he situated himself with his back resting against the cold metal wall. He put his comm down next to him and his food goo bowl in his lap. His empty stomach growled impatiently at the promise of food. He picked up his spoon.

The food goo was usually pretty bland, probably meant for just filling hungry soldiers up instead of actual enjoyment, but it might as well have been nectar of the gods for how quickly he ate it. He scarfed it down like it might all disappear if he didn't eat it fast enough. The bland taste was ignored and easily forgiven, for it did its job pretty damn well. The next thing he knew, his bowl was almost completely clean and his hunger satiated.

With a bit of reaching, he set the bowl down on his makeshift bedside table. He could take it back to the kitchen later. With a full stomach and an okay mood, he was probably in the best condition to call Lotor back. Did he look okay? He wiped at his mouth just in case and quickly combed his hair with his fingers. 

There were some painful snags with some particularly thick and stubborn tangles, but he probably looked as presentable as he could right now. He didn't want to put any more effort into it than that. Besides, his hair looked about the same as it did back at the ball. Lotor didn't seem to mind it then, so he shouldn't mind it now.

Before he could come up with another way to put it off, he picked up his comm and pressed the small button. The screen woke with a slight blue glow- not harsh and blinding, yet also not too dark to see. Probably Pidge's handiwork.

The contact names he had right now on the other hand were _definitely_ Pidge's handiwork. In order, they were- _the Best Person Ever™, Beyoncé and Michelle Obama's spiritual lovechild, Coranic the Mechanic, The Goofball™, Prince Lotor (??who??), and the Only Normal One™._ He couldn't help but crack a smile as he read them. He quickly tapped on Lotor's name.

The little calling symbol was barely up for three seconds before Lotor's face popped up on the screen. Or... well, more specifically, his back. His long white hair was down, covering most of what he could see. But from what he could see, Lotor was wearing a dark jacket that went down farther than he could see of the Prince right now. There were a few dark blue markings he couldn't quite make out, mainly curved corners and thin lines.

He could hear Lotor sigh. "For the last time," he said. "I don't--" He turned around to glare at his comm. Only to have that look immediately melt away once he saw who really called him. "Oh!" His brows raised. He rushed to the comm with a smile, showing his features much clearer now. "My apologies, Black Paladin. I didn't know you were the one calling."

"It's okay," Keith said. "And it's just Keith, please. I'm still not used to the whole 'Black Paladin' thing."

"Alright, 'just Keith'," Lotor grinned like it was the cleverest joke ever. "It's a pleasure to hear from you again. Your fellow Paladin wasn't nearly as courteous as you." His expression turned thoughtful for a second. "What was their name, again? The short one with lens-less glasses and choppy hair?"

"Oh, Pidge?" Keith moved to rub the back of his neck. "Sorry about that. They'd told me you called yesterday while they were still making the Vrynean comms less complicated to use." He raised a brow. "Did they say anything to you?"

"Don't worry, Keith," he assured. "They didn't say much else above some choice words before the call ended. I doubt they would have if they knew they'd accidentally accepted the call, anyways." Lotor just... kept giving him a warm look. Smiling this soft and small smile at him. Like he was admiring the most beautiful masterpiece he'd ever seen. A look no one had ever given him before, but one he didn't really mind at all.

Keith chuckled. "Yeah, they can be like that sometimes," he said. "Especially when they're working on something."

"I've met few who are the same way," Lotor told him. "They're the Green Paladin, correct?"

"Yeah," Keith nodded. "How'd you know?"

Lotor let out a breathy laugh. "Voltron has a great many legends around it," he said. "You'd have to be living on the most remote backwater planet not to have heard a single one, especially nowadays with new Paladins filling up the mantle the first ones left behind." He waved it off. "But I won't bore you with any more details. After all, you've probably heard their stories dozens of times already."

"I..." The words were out before Keith could stop them. "I haven't heard any of them, actually. Could you tell me some?"

Lotor raised his brows, then quickly furrowed them in fake deep thought. He hummed. "Perhaps," he said with a smile. "If you can tell me a few stories of your own adventures?"

"Why?" Keith asked. "I thought you've already heard them."

"I have," he said matter-of-factly. "But any of them would be _far more compelling_ when they're told by one who was actually a figurehead in them. Not to mention you might untangle some false knots storytellers add to the threads." Lotor shrugged. "Of course, you don't have to, but I have plenty of time to spare for you."

Keith thought it over. The line of thought made sense. He couldn't really see a reason not to. He was curious what Lotor would have to tell him about the previous Paladins.

"Okay," he said. "Do you want to go first, or do you want me to?"

"I will."

Time blended together. For hours, the two of them swapped stories about the adventures the past and present Paladins got themselves into. Both of them painted pictures of the amazing places they'd been with mere words. Lotor had a particular way of telling the legends that had Keith practically hanging on the edge of his seat until the end.

For those hours, all worries on his shoulders just... dissipated. His mind was too busy imagining the vast expanse of material Lotor provided him with to focus on his worries about being the Black Paladin. In his own stories, he could bring himself back to the better times as Red's pilot with Shiro still around, only if for a little while. Lotor listened to each one with admiration, barely interrupting save to laugh or ask the occasional question.

It was... frankly surprising how _easy_ it was to talk to him. Usually he couldn't be in a conversation for more than 20 minutes without looking for a way out or at least getting restless. But with Lotor, he was completely fine. No tiredness, no fidgeting, no itching desire to get some time alone. The hours they talked felt like only minutes. It was rare to find someone who wasn't eventually exhausting for him to talk to. He liked it.

But as with all good things, it had to end far too soon.

The lights flickered in warning. Curfew was only 5 minutes away. He should probably get ready for bed.

"Well," Lotor said with a yawn. "I believe that's my cue to go. Thank you for indulging me. I had a wonderful time, Keith." He stretched. "You truly weave words like an artist."

Keith scoffed. "I was _nothing_ compared to you," he said. "When Trigel had to carry Blaytz through the Umbryan fog, I actually got goosebumps. The way you told that whole story was so _haunting,_ but I loved every single second of it."

Lotor chuckled at that. "You're too kind," he said. "But you sell yourself short- I knew the everything would turn out well, but the Castle invasion story still had me worried. You told it flawlessly, my dear."

A bit of heat flared up at that. "Thank you," he said. "I'd love to talk more, but I should probably get ready for bed now. Allura would kill me if she knew I was still up past curfew. You know how it is, right?"

"Indeed I do, so I shall go." Lotor smiled warmly at him. "Until we meet again, Paladin."

Keith couldn't help but smile slightly back. "Until we meet again, Prince." With that, the call ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a peculiar dream that brings a new perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter's so short! This week has been really busy so I didn't really have time to write, but I still wanted to update on time so I wrote most of this last night  
> Enjoy!

Weightless.

That was the first thing his mind registered. His body was weightless, floating like he might as well have been a feather in zero G. The light sensation reminded him of the exercises the Garrison sometimes put him through to see how well pilots could fare in space-station conditions.

But in those exercises, he could always hear the steady thrumming of engines through the thin walls. Here he heard nothing. Not even his own heartbeat.

Instead, he could feel a low rumble grow in his core. There was a weary and weathered tone to it, but it still went on as strong as ever. The energy running through him felt old but... _powerful._ It was an ever attentive energy, yet reserved. There was no way of telling the passage of time, but something inside of him knew it'd been a _long time._

He tried to open his eyes to get a grasp on his surroundings. Only to realize something crucial- he couldn't move anything. He could feel his subconscious floating about, latching onto any detail he could make out through the familiar void within and without him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move a muscle. His limbs were locked sturdily in place. It was like metal was cased around him, yet somehow kept him somewhat aware of everything.

All he could do was feel the rumble in him and hope that whatever this was would pass. For what felt like crawling and empty years, it was all he could feel.

Soon enough, another feeling joined in. This one wasn't as physical, but it rocked through his shell like a bullet that managed to get past his thick armor. The bullet of loneliness stayed in him, bleeding bitter lead into his system. It seeped into his bloodstream and soon flowed alongside like kin to his life force.

More feelings followed the first's trail. A deep and heavy sadness clung heavy to his shoulders, draped upon it like a cape. The loneliness dug roots into him and branched out throughout his being. They were barren, save for a single frail leaf of hope. No matter how the bitter cold winds whipped and clawed at it, it stayed steadfast. It didn't ever falter, didn't even hesitate.

He didn't know what exactly he was hoping for, but it didn't matter much. It was the only source of light in the endless expanse of darkness. It was all he had now. So he built a small shield out of twigs around it, easing the burden. If only a little bit. The storm in and outside of him still beat and bruised at whatever they could. He clung to the hope like a lifeline.

For an unknown amount of time, it was the only thing keeping him going.

Then the rumbling steadily started to grow. The bare tree started to bear fruit, each glowing bigger and brighter than the last. Soon it was both blinding and fulfilling, shining warm rays of light into every crack and crevice upon him. The rumbling turned to a... strangely familiar roar.

He opened his eyes. But the sight that met him wasn't what he expected to see- his dark bedroom walls were scarce. Instead, he was met with a high view of a hangar. Which was weird, 'cause he definitely went to sleep in his room. He never sleepwalked, and even if he did, he definitely couldn't have climbed a Lion in his sleep.

Those thoughts didn't stay with him long. Groggy bewilderment and excitement filled him, his skin practically vibrating. After so long, he'd finally been awoken. It was finally time.

Part of him wasn't sure what that really meant, but the rest of him accepted it without context. Like it was a perfectly natural thought in this scenario.

He glanced down to see who'd been responsible. What kindly soul was... _worthy_ to be able to wake him up from such a long rest. The part of him was still a bit confused, but he decided to roll with it. It was obvious context wasn't really gonna be provided for him.

His breath caught at the face staring up at him. Sleep-saddled eyes stared at him in a quiet sense of awe. His lips were parted slightly. The jagged scar across the bridge of his nose was barely visible from this height and angle. They knew who this was from the moment they saw him. 

He was a survivor, riddled with respectable marks and stories. Even if those stories started out unwanted. He kept carrying on.

He was a friend, kind-hearted and patient. Of course, there were limits to such traits, but it would take quite a lot for them to strain. A lot more than they hoped would be thrown at him. Time would be the unbiased narrator, as it always was.

While she didn't know him as such, he knew another category immediately. The one below them was a brother. One who hadn't known he'd existed half his life, but once he did, his arms were wide open. When he fell or faltered, the one below was always there with a helping hand and a few words of advice.

Until he wasn't.

 _Shiro?_ He exhaled with lungs he didn't currently have. His voice sounded roughly the same, but it felt... off. His voice echoed without vocal cords, the breathless name ringing in space. Like he never physically said it, but his thoughts somehow gave him a different voice. Almost like when... the Lions would talk to them.

 _Yes,_ he could practically feel the grin on her face. It transferred to the both of them, a bubbly and floating giddiness. It was strange to process in her voice. _He'll do._

Keith woke with a start, shooting up in his bed. His heart was working overtime, his lungs not very far behind. He looked at his shaking hands. They were very much real, and very much his. So was his face. And his pillow-styled hair. And pretty much the rest of him. He was really here, in his room, completely and utterly not metallic.

What the hell was _that?_ Red never gave him any freaky mind-melding dreams. Even if she ever did, they probably wouldn't have felt like that.

He could still remember it all. It was all so... _vivid,_ so clear that it still felt like his mind was still drifting in that dark void. Only a pinch on his arm could prove that he was actually awake now. Was that really how Black felt? Sure, he knew being alone for 10,000 years would definitely suck, but he never really bothered to think about it much.

Until that moment. Now that his train of thought was set on that particular track, it couldn't stop chugging even if he tried to stop it. 10,000 years was a long time to drift in that almost hopeless limbo, where the only thing that kept you going was probably the hope that soon enough, someone will come along and wake you up. Someone better than the person who put you there in the first place. Someone worthy enough for you to stick around.

That person, of course, was Shiro.

But now Shiro was gone. So what did that make _him?_ Was he just the temporary but necessary replacement? The next best thing? 'Cause that definitely wasn't true. Any of the other Paladins could do a better job of leading than he currently was.

So why _him?_ Was it just cause Shiro wanted him to lead if anything happened to him? Because that was just a stupid way to pick between candidates. Shiro was a great person, but he was just that- a person. A person who still made oversights and could be a bit biased. The word of such a person shouldn't have been the tipping point, but it was.

...But maybe he could roll with it for now. At least until they found Shiro and got him back safely.

Keith grabbed at the Vrynean comm. What time was it? He needed to talk to Black. Maybe they could clear some things up. He pressed the small button.

The sudden light in the dark room momentarily blinded him. His eyes squeezed shut, and he could feel his fingertips twitch and press against the screen for a split second. Hopefully he didn't accidentally click to contact someone. Or if he did, that their comm was off anyways.

But was he ever that lucky? Of course not. When was he _ever_ that lucky? Especially nowadays.

Keith cracked an eye open to see what he hoped he wouldn't- Lotor's face. Not that it wasn't nice to look at, but probably not at whatever hour it was.

Lotor's chiseled features were illuminated by his own comm's bright light in his own dark room. With the angle the camera was at, he was probably barely holding it away from his face. All he could see was the prince's head. Lotor was still lying down, judging from how his tied-back hair fanned out like a halo around him. His eyes were squinted, his pupils smaller than usual toward the bright light.

"Keith," his voice was thick with sleep. "Is there something bothering you at..." His eyes glanced up. "3 and a half hours in the morning?" He groaned and rubbed at his eyes with his unused hand.

Keith blinked back to reality when he realized he'd been staring. Now was not the time to be too gay to function. _"Shit,"_ he hissed. "God, Lotor, I'm _so sorry._ I was just trying to check the time and hit your name by accident, I-" Lotor's groggy chuckling cut him off before he could continue to ramble. Thank God for small mercies, at least.

 _"Raas von-mir Amus,"_ Lotor waved it off. "It's fine, Keith."

Keith couldn't help but blink in confusion. "...What was that?"

"A bit of Galran," he said. "Rough translation is 'All keep to Amus', who created mistakes simply by being conceived." Lotor shrugged. "I may be a bit off, but I believe it's supposed to be comfort. Everyone makes mistakes, Keith. Even the Creators of the Universe."

"...Huh," he said. "You know Galran?"

"I'm not an expert at the language or legends by any standard," Lotor told him. "But to an extent, yes. I'm not proud of most of the things the Galra have done, of course, but I find it important to embrace all aspects of who you are. Even the... undesirable ones." He looked to Keith. "Don't you agree?"

"Yes," the word was out before he could even try to stop it. "Do you think you could... teach some of it to me sometime?"

Lotor smiled warmly. "It would be my honor to, Paladin. But if you don't mind, I have some important meetings in about..." Another glance up. "...Less than four hours. So unless you have any other important concerns right now...?"

Keith's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh, right." He laughed awkwardly. "Sorry. I'll let you get back to it. Sorry for waking you up."

"You don't have to apologize so much," Lotor assured. "It happens to the best of us, as you've now shown. Good night, Paladin."

Keith smiled. "Good night. Hope you get enough energy to get through your meetings."

Lotor scoffed. "You and me both." The call ended, and his comm brought him back to his list of contacts.

And up there, at the very top in very small lettering, was the time- 4:33 AM. He turned the comm off and laid it on his bed. By the time he drifted back off to sleep, he'd only get one or two extra hours of sleep before he had to get up anyways. Might as well make better use of that time. He shuffled out of bed, his bare feet meeting the cold metal floor.

Would Black care if he was wearing pants? Probably, but he could still hear his little laundry machine in the wall rumbling. He didn't really have any pajama pants to slip on. He could always put on his armor, but that would take way too much effort than he was willing to give right now. So he was going to have to go without for now. But he did put on his shoes, at least. He had some priorities.

His bedroom door slid open quietly, the only sound in the Castle's dead silence. If he strained, he could hear Hunk's snoring from a few rooms away. But he didn't waste time doing so tonight. He knew what he had to do.

So he set out to do it.

His footsteps seemed so loud in the dead of night, deafening to the previous sense of silence. They bounced off the familiar walls as he walked along the path he knew pretty well by now.

On the way, Keith walked into a familiar blue light in the dim halls. He looked up to see the sight he expected- Pidge on a big windowsill a foot or so higher than him. They were curled up against the wall and the window, their trusty computer at their feet. He couldn't really see what, but he could see a white loading line steadily filling up. There was only a sliver left.

He stopped to watch it. Pidge probably fell asleep waiting for it to finish, and they'd probably complain tomorrow (technically today) if they woke to a dead computer. Might as well do something about it while he was here.

After a minute or so, the little sliver was finally filled up. The computer made a cheery beeping sound and the screen changed to read 'Download Complete!' in thin white letters. Pidge didn't even flinch at the sound. They must be out cold.

Gingerly, Keith reached up to the thin computer screen. He shut it and inched it away from their feet just in case. He didn't want them to kick it off the ledge in their sleep and accidentally break it or something. Pidge leant against the window and shivered slightly, arms moving to hug themselves.

Without a second thought, Keith headed back to his room. Black could wait just a bit longer. He needed to do something else first. It's not like she was going anywhere anyways, right? The door opened for him readily, and he quickly set to do what he was back there for- getting his blanket. He bundled it up to hold in one arm and quickly headed back the way he came.

Pidge was still huddled, shivering and curled into a little ball. It took a bit of reaching, but he managed to wrap his blanket over them from the shoulders down. It hung a bit over the ledge, a bit too big for them, but it didn't matter much to him. It wasn't supposed to look pretty. It was just supposed to keep them a little bit warmer. After all, it wasn't like he was going to be using it tonight anyways. Better not to let it go to waste.

They shifted, huddling into the blanket. The shivering stopped. As one last precaution, he reached up and gently slipped their glasses off. With the angle their head was at right now, it'd be pretty easy for them to slip off and break. These glasses were the only physical thing they had left of their brother.

He could only imagine how careful he'd be if he had anything left of Shiro besides his bayard. So he folded the glasses up and placed them on top of the computer.

After that, Keith didn't spare them another look. He simply smiled and continued on his way. Now he could go talk to Black without worrying so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> I'm going to try and update this fic every Sunday!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Black talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a very fun chapter, and it's a bit of a longer one!  
> enjoy!

The Castle was always... vaguely unsettling at night. During daytime hours, the big ship was filled with life- whether it ranged from loud and rampant joy to quiet and dragging melancholy fluctuated. During daytime hours, it was easy to forget that this place probably used to have tons more people working and living in it. People long erased by time's cruel hand.

But they seemed to come back after curfew, flitting and floating through the halls like invisible fireflies. They walked in the hollow emptiness of the halls usually as dead as they were this time of night. Singing along to the faint hum of engines and the dim glow of lights he passed. At least, that's what he always imagined. It helped keep things in perspective.

And the thought didn't bother him much. What started as a result of an exhaustion-addled mind one night was now a little badge of honor for him. He walked where they once did. He might have never met any of them, but as long as someone remembered them, they were never truly gone.

Not to mention he's always loved the quiet. Talk was absolutely _exhausting_ sometimes- it grated on his nerves and dragged on for way too long. He could only handle it for so long before he'd be looking for a way out of the conversation to the safety of his room, or wherever the closest source of quiet was. Especially when he was faced with the only kind of silence he hated- the confused, judging and too awkward kind.

Back on Earth, Keith would climb up to the roof of his shack nearly every night. He'd stay up there for _hours,_ listening to the soft melody of crickets chirping and gentle winds rustling what few patches of grass stuck out of the harsh dry ground. He watched the stars wink down at him, the moon his only witness to it all. In those hours, he'd let his mind run free. In those hours, he was practically in his element.

As he was now. Only now he was among his once-faraway audience, sneaking glances at them through the windows he passed by. If they could talk, he'd like to imagine they'd be cheering him on.

So he walked through the halls as confidently as one could alone in the early morning without pants on. Which was to say- _pretty damn confidently._ His heart picked up the pace the closer to Black's hangar he got, but his legs had a mind of their own. No matter how it clawed and pleaded- _now probably isn't the best time, maybe we should try this again much much later-_ they refused to listen or stop for even a moment. They moved as mechanically as the Lions.

Keith tried not to think too much as the elevator whirred down, purple lights lining over his messy frame. He knew himself pretty damn well. If he overthought this, he'd definitely back out. Make up some half-assed excuse and make a beeline back to his room to pretend this never happened. Yesterday or any other day before that, that's what he probably would've done.

Not tonight/today. He was tired of running from this. Running might be what he's best at, but it wasn't the only thing he knew how to do. It was time to show that to Black.

So now was the perfect time for his favorite plan B- facing a problem like this head-on. The elevator stopped, and he slid down the docking hall with practiced ease. It was almost exactly like Red's- just with halls lined by purple lights instead of red, of course.

Black's eyes lit up with the same gold and glittering curiosity treasure chests had for sailors who found them. He could feel a faint sense of interest hint at his mind. _Keith,_ she said, her voice neutral. _What in King Alfor's name are you doing here? And why like that?_

"Black," he headed towards her. "I'm here to talk. Let me in."

 _Why are you here at this hour?_ An undertone of worry wormed its way through his skin. _Did you even sleep tonight?_

"Yeah, I did. I... woke up early." Should he mention the dream? Would it make him look like a child crawling to his parent's room because he had a nightmare? Probably, but Black probably considered him a child anyways. "I had a... really freaky dream, and it made me think of you."

 _That's very flattering, child._ There it was. He always hated when someone talked down to him because he was young than them, but it was forgivable when it was a 10,000+ year old Lion. For now. _But it's much too late right now. You need whatever rest you can get._

He scoffed. "Really?" He said teasingly. "What happened to 'I'll keep you in here all night if I have to' and 'I don't need to sleep'?"

Annoyance traced his skin like the flat of a knife. _I wasn't being serious,_ she said. _You weren't letting me in, so I didn't know how else to motivate you. I would never actually do that to anyone, no matter how stubborn they were._ He could practically imagine her look down further. _I might reconsider if they came back hours later in heart-dotted boxer shorts, however._ Even though her tone stayed calm and professional, he could almost feel the lighthearted intentions of her words.

"Hey-" He stopped his protest dead in its tracks. "Wait," he look up at her. "Was that your idea of a _joke?"_

 _Perhaps,_ he could imagine her trying to hide a smile at that. Like it was so clever but she didn't want to crack. _Perhaps not. Do you intend to find out, Keith?_

Keith shrugged. "Perhaps," he said. "Perhaps not. Depends on if you ever actually let me in or not. Are you going to let me in?"

 _You know, I believe you were taught better than that._ He raised a brow. _You're missing a few words in that statement. Ask it correctly and I'll do as you wish._

He sighed. "Okay _Mom,"_ a flutter of pleasant surprise passed through him. He flourished and bowed in a very exaggerated way. "My _dear lady Lion,"_ a bubble of... some light and happy feeling floated up. It felt like a nonverbal laugh. He couldn't help but crack a small smile as he stood back up. "Would you _please_ allow this _mere mortal_ access to thine cockpit?" He paused and raised a brow. "Good enough?"

 _Yes, though I can't help but feel you exaggerated it a bit._ she said matter-of-factly. _But we can improve upon it some other time. I'd rather not keep you for the rest of the night._

"Why not?" Keith raised a brow. "Is there a mission I don't know about?"

Anxious hesitance dripped into him, but he could feel the slightest hint of excitement bleed through. He still wasn't entirely sure where these feelings were actually coming from. _Not to my knowledge, no._ she sounded genuine about it, like she was checking and double-checking her memory for any mention of a mission soon. _It's simply a... feeling I have. Something in me that tells me thus._ A pause. _It's unimportant right now, though. You wish to try again, so I'll let you in._

With a soft whirr and the sounds of metal shifting against itself, Black knelt down until her jaw met the floor. She opened her metallic maw and extended the lift catwalk out for him. The lights inside flickered to life with each step he took in Black's halls.

 _So,_ Black spoke up only when he sat in the pilot's chair again. _You wished to talk? What about?_

"About what happened earlier," he said, glancing around at her walls. "I... I was thinking, and..." He trailed off, reaching for the right words to say. But none stayed in his grip or stayed just far enough away from him.

 _What,_ slightly-forced amusment bloomed in his chest. _Are you here to apologize?_

The amusment stayed, even though he definitely _wasn't_ amused at her question. He crossed his arms. _Deep breaths, Kogane,_ he thought. _Be patient. Patience yields..._ The amusement was gone, replaced by the all-too-familiar empty hole in his chest ripping open once again. It was just as fresh and raw as the first, yet the hole was quickly accompanied by an age-old friend- regret.

 _My apologies, Keith,_ Black said. _It was supposed to be a joke. I was trying to lighten the mood a bit._ she sounded out a synthetic sigh. _I am afraid it's not my strong suit._ He could swear he almost felt a gentle prodding at the back of his mind as she spoke. _Please forgive me, and continue on._

He sighed. "Okay," he said. "Ever since our argument, I've been feeling these _weird feelings._ They're not my own, but I still feel them like they're coming from me." Not to mention the dream, but it'd probably be better not to bring it up right now. He raised a brow. "I think they're coming from you, but we're not even bonded yet. So do you know why?"

 _You could say that,_ Black admitted. _You are correct, though. The feelings are coming from me._

"But how?" He asked. "How were we even able to bond without me knowing about it? The last time we talked, we..."

 _I know,_ Black picked up his thought. _And I initiated that ensuing argument, remember? I didn't do that for no reason, Keith._

His brows raised in surprise. "Wait, you _wanted_ to argue with me? Why?"

 _To connect and begin to establish a bond with you, of course._

_"What?"_ The gentle prodding feeling stopped, instead replaced by an even stranger feeling. It felt like a not-completely-in plug finally pushed all the way into the socket. A faint burst of electricity danced through his nerves, causing him to tense up slightly. It wasn't unpleasant, just... unexpected.

His dumbfounded confusion met her satisfaction. She hummed. _There we go. It's certainly a start._

Keith gripped the leather of his pilot's chair with a vice-like grip. "Black," he tried to keep his voice steady, but she could tell he was growing mad. It was like a starting fire. "Explain. _Now."_

_I was going to anyways, Keith. I understand you are upset, but please remain ca-_

"How can I 'remain calm' when you just pulled... _whatever the hell you just did!"_ he burst out. The flame was slowly growing, but it would grow to be dangerous soon enough. "What did you even just do to me, anyway?"

 _I connected the bond I created a few hours ago during our argument,_ she said. _I'm deeply sorry for any discomfort I might have caused you to have in the process._ She meant it, he could tell that much.

The flame flickered. "I... guess it's okay," he said, easing his grip a bit. "But why did you start an argument with me just to make a bond with me? Red didn't have to do that."

 _Your mind is guarded and quick,_ Black started to explain. _As is Red's. She didn't need to do much to establish a bond with you, due to how alike you two already are. And to my knowledge, Lance didn't have much difficulty with her for much of the same reasons. You're both similar to her in different ways, fascinatingly enough._ Curiosity flowed through him. He couldn't help but follow along with that feeling in particular. It was quickly shaken off. _But that's not my point in particular._

He leaned back in the seat and got comfortable. This was probably going to take a while.

 _My point is, my mind not as quick or instinctual as yours. Shiro and..._ Disdain bled through. Even after 10,000 years, Zarkon was apparently still a sore spot for her. _...Him were relatively easy for me to sync up with. But you... You were a different story entirely. I couldn't even fathom where your mind would head next, at first. So I had to employ some... unconventional methods._

"And those 'unconventional methods' involved making me think you hated me?" He asked. "That I was just a disappointment to you?"

Regret popped in once more. _Well... yes, unfortunately. Even without a sufficient bond to you, I could see Shiro's loss affected you deeply. I figured you may have some... feelings to vent out due to that. So I figured it would help in both aspects- if I got you riled up enough, I could actually pin down what direction your thoughts would go, and you would get the chance to let out a few of those thoughts. I didn't mean anything I said to you, I promise._ The fire flickered once more. _I know you can't exactly control where your mind goes, so I figured telling you that it wasn't real in any way would ruin it all. You had to really believe I harbored those feelings towards you for it all to work._

"So, you..." The flame sputtered out, leaving nothing but golden embers. "You don't think any of that stuff?" It was probably not what he should have asked, but it was the first question that came to mind.

 _Oh Creators, no,_ she assured. _Yes, you are different from my other Paladins, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. You don't have to be like either of them to be a good leader._ The fuzzy warmth of comfort blossomed through him. _I can't guarantee there won't be monumental obstacles along the way, but you won't be alone going through them._

"That's what I'm afraid of." He reached for the joysticks. "What if I disappoint you? Or the team? They're counting on me."

 _The only person that you really have to worry about disappointing is the one in the mirror every morning,_ Black told him, her thrumming purr growing just a little bit louder. _Your team trusts you. They know your pain, and they will understand and be there to help you when you stumble._ An old sense of confidence filled him. Her confidence. _Now, I want you to lean back in the chair and relax. Close your eyes and try to quiet your mind a bit._

Keith did as he was instructed, but furrowed his brows. "Why?" He asked. "Are we trying this again?"

 _Yes,_ she said softly. _Now shush. Focus on your breathing, nothing else. Let the universe around you fade from memory for a little while._ As she spoke, a calming sensation rippled through him wave after wave. He could feel his body relaxing into the seat, but everything else was quickly fading.

In any other situation, his mind would be going int hyperdrive, trying to figure out what the hell was going on before it was too late. He'd be on his feet in seconds, as ready as he could be. Or if he couldn't, his mind would try to hold out for as long as humanly possible, clinging to river rocks against the current.

But right now? 

Right now, it was letting go. Taking a blind jump and putting it all on faith. He was being swallowed by an empty void and all he could focus on was the rhythm of his breaths. How his chest moved with each one.

In, out.

In, out.

Inhale, exhale.

It didn't take long for the lull to end. He floated down to an almost invisible ground, outlined by thin white lines. They established the steps down in front of him too. He couldn't see any walls, but as he looked up, he could see a long and tall winding staircase. The bottom was pure black, but on the way up, he could see the colors changed. It was a slow gradient from black to a glowing radiant purple at the top a long way up.

 _"What's all this?"_ He asked, looking to his side to meet a smaller purple silhouette of Black sitting next to him. She was roughly the size of an actual lion.

 _Progress,_ she said. _The fact that you can see it at all is the first step. But there are many more on the way up, as you can see._ She stood up. _It will not be an easy journey, but,_ his eyes widened slightly as her form shifted... and multiplied. Soon enough purple-tinted renditions of the entire team stood in her place. _As you already know, your team and I will be by your side along the way._

 _"I'm sorry,"_ he said, looking away from her. (them? He wasn't fully certain. None of their mouths moved when Black talked.) _"Thanks, but could you switch to someone else? This is kinda freaking me out right now. I appreciate it, but..."_ His heart leapt in his throat when he looked and saw just which form Black decided to take.

A purple-tinted Lotor stood before him, dressed in the white robes he wore at the Vrynean ball. 'He' smiled at Keith. _Is this one better? He's not part of the team, but from what I've seen, you seem to enjoy his company._ Black-Lotor raised a brow. _Is this better? Or do you want me to go back to my first form?_

He waved his hand (apparently he was tinted black, outlined by white too). _"It's fine,"_ he said. _"But, uh... how do you know about him?"_

 _Oh, simple,_ Black said, Black-Lotor shrugging along. _As our bond started to form, I could see bits and pieces of your memory and feel as if I am you in those moments. I'm sure that 'weird dream' you had might have been one of my memories. All the ones associated with this one,_ Black-Lotor gestured to herself (himself? Themselves? Still wasn't sure.) _Were happy, so I figured he was the safest bet on someone outside the team you trust. Or, at least, you're starting to._

Keith wanted to speak out, ask something else, but the stairway was quickly fading out. The sensations of the real world were fading in.

 _We will have more time to talk later,_ Black's thrumming purr was coming back. _For now, unless you wish to be ridiculed by the team, I would advise you to go back to your room and change into your Paladin armor. I still have a feeling you may need it today._

 _"Wait,"_ he tried. _"What-?"_

 _More explanations later,_ Black interrupted. _All you need to do is..._

_Wake up._

Keith shot up in his seat, his eyes wide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron fights a Robeast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have this early update! I'm gonna be super busy tomorrow, and I finished this chapter early, so why not just upload it today?  
> There isn't much of lotor in this (this entire chapter is just one huge fight scene) but there will be more of actual Lotor (and building up keitor!) in the next update!  
> enjoy!

As Keith headed back to his room to change, Black's words bounced around in his memory. Their talk certainly could've gone worse. He still wasn't exactly sure how to feel about the whole 'I made you think I hated you so we could bond' thing, but he could sort his feelings out later.

The trip back from Black was... strangely scarier than the trip to Black. Everything was the same- the air still held a peaceful stillness, the walls barely thrummed like they usually did, and his shoes made the same sound against the metal floor as they always did. It was a still and peaceful early morning.

Yet after what Black mentioned about her foreboding feeling, the calming atmosphere felt completely different. It felt twisted and... _wrong._ A pretty little lie he could see right through. The ghosts reached and grabbed for his ankles, their time-weathered hands going right through like air. Their haunting choir was desperate to be heard, but it simply fell on deaf ears. For a second, he could've sworn he heard _something,_ though.

He tensed. His body instinctually prepared for a fight.

Then he realized it was just Hunk's snoring a couple rooms away. Keith loved the big guy to bits; he would take a bullet for him without a second thought, but dear _God_ he sounded like a hibernating bear when he slept. His shoulders loosened and he stepped up to his door.

The door slid open for his smoothly and quietly. The first thing he noticed- his laundry machine in the wall wasn't rumbling anymore. After putting his armor on, he was definitely going to take it out. It'd be nice not to wear the spare boxers for a little while.

Or at least, that's what he thought as he worked on slipping into his undersuit. Putting on his armor was so routine now, it was practically muscle memory at this point. He could just let his mind wander as his body mechanically moved the kicked-away shoes away from the door and other such things.

Keith tapped the button on the Vrynean comm. His brows furrowed at the time it displayed for him. It was 6:13 _already?_ He didn't really talk with Black that long, and it certainly didn't take that long for him to walk there and back. At least, it didn't feel like it took that long. Maybe it took longer than he thought to go into Black's little mindscape?

Whatever. It wasn't that important anyways. He zipped up his undersuit and let the light illuminating the dark room fade out.

Putting on the rest of his armor was easy enough. By now, he knew just how to slip it all on with the least amount of difficulty possible. The whole team probably did. When alarms are blaring and Allura and/or Coran are yelling over the intercoms to get to the Lions as fast as humanly possible, it was something you learned pretty damn quickly.

Absentmindedly, his mind drifted to latch on to a topic he wasn't expecting- Lotor. More specifically, what Black had to say about him. Was he really growing to trust the Prince? Sure, he hadn't shown any reasons _not_ to trust him. And he was a rare kind of person for Keith- someone who _wasn't_ exhausting to talk to. The Prince certainly had the kind of voice he could listen to for hours. Not to mention he wasn't hard on the eyes at all.

Keith's enjoyed every interaction with him immensely. But 'trust' was a very heavy word for the relationship between the two of them. He's trusted _very_ few people along the course of his life, and not many of those people have stayed. The list of people he trusted was pretty much just the team.

Maybe Lotor could find his way to that list someday. He could admit the Prince was already making steady progress in that direction. But only time would tell at this point. Maybe after this mission (that may or may not happen), Keith could cash in that promise to learn a bit of Galran.

He didn't have to learn much, but it'd be nice to know just in case. If not for the case of diplomatic relations, then for himself. It'd be nice to know just a bit of his Mom's mother language. And maybe a few legends, if Lotor wanted to tell some. He was an excellent storyteller.

That was the last thought he managed to get in before the alarms started to blare extra loudly. Thankfully his armor was fully on, so he didn't have to rush to finish putting on anything. All he had to do was rush out the door.

"Everyone!" Coran's voice crackled over the Castle's loudspeakers. "We have a distress beacon from a nearby planet! The reports mention a giant Robeast, so get to your Lions quickly and prepare for a fight!"

He could hear the others shooting out of bed, at least one of them groaning as they did so. Probably Lance- he hated early-morning missions. Something about ruining his beauty sleep or whatever. But he'd be out, up and ready to go soon enough. They all would be any minute now.

Pidge, blanket draped over their shoulders like a cape and laptop in tow, passed him in the opposite direction as he raced down the hallway. He could see them give him a slightly bleary look of confusion. Their glasses weren't even on all the way, and he was already dressed? They looked like they wanted to stop and ask him something for a split second, but they didn't. Getting to their room and in their armor was leagues more important. Words could wait.

Now was the time to act.

And act Keith certainly did, racing for Black's hangar. He could feel her conflicting mix of concern and slight amusement all the way from the elevator. She was happy she was right, but she certainly wasn't happy about what she ended up being right about.

He practically flew through the docking tunnels, bursts of purple lights blending into a constant stream. Black's eyes sparkled to life as soon as he saw her. Her thrumming purr grew a bit louder. Buzzing excitement entered his system. It was a nice burst of adrenaline, if not a bit forced on Black's end. She bent down and opened her maw to let him in as he was running for her.

Keith couldn't help but smile teasingly as he headed through her halls. "So," he said. "We have a mission today. Guess you were right, after all."

 _Indeed,_ she hummed to life before his eyes, holographic purple consoles activating for him as he sat in the pilot's chair. _Though for once, I would have preferred not being right._

"Oh?" He gripped her joysticks. "Why's that?"

 _For starters,_ she started. He could tell she was trying desperately to hide her jittery anxiety about all this, but the bond made that difficult. The nervous energy buzzed through his nerves, bouncing to and from place to place. _We've spent so long trying to bond, we haven't spent a lot of time doing anything else. Understand what I mean?_

His brows raised as realization hit him like a freight train.

"I've barely flown you," he said, looking down at her consoles. They looked similar to Red's, but that thought didn't assure him as much as it probably should have. "And never in any combat sims or anything." His stomach churned. This could be very, very bad.

Reluctant confirmation flowed through him. _Indeed,_ her voice was grim, but she still stood. _You're a fast learner, though. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it in no time._ She... kind of believed it. At least, she wanted to believe it fully. Black flew out of the hangar to the inky void of space.

He still had a sinking feeling about this, but a planet was in danger. There was no time for doubt. "Well," he said with a sigh. "No time like the present, right?" He held the joysticks with renewed determination.

Black didn't speak. She didn't need to. All she had to do was fly toward the dark green-mottled blue planet nearby and keep a foundation for their determination. She still had doubts, they both did, but that was natural. All they could do for now was ignore it.

Keith reached to the side of his helmet and activated his comm. "Keith here," he said. "I'm heading to the planet now. Any details we should know about, Coran?"

A video screen popped up above a console to show Coran in the Castle's control room. He was moving from console to console hurriedly, moving at a speed someone his (assumed) age probably shouldn't be able to move at. It was a quick pattern- move to a certain console, type a few things into it, wait a few ticks, and move to a different console. Not even once did he look at the video screen. Almost like he didn't even notice it was up.

A close-up on the yellow space mouse in the corner just confirmed what he was starting to suspect. One of them must've hit a button by mistake or something. Oh well. It wouldn't have been the first time, though usually it was on purpose.

"Coran," he tried again. "Coran, can you hear me?" No response from the Altean.

The blue mouse climbed atop the yellow one and blinked at him. The little stare lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like forever. Then it turned to Coran and started to squeak. Very loudly and insistently. From how close it was to the console, it sounded like it was screeching right into his ear. He winced.

But it got Coran's attention, at least.

The Altean combed a hand through his slightly pillow-styled hair and looked to the mouse. "What?" He asked with a hint of annoyance. "I'm-" The mouse pointed at the screen, and his eyes followed the gesture. They widened at seeing Keith. "Oh!" He raced closer. "Sorry about that, number four." He blinked. "Er, well. You're likely number three now. It's been a hectic morning, you understand."

Keith nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I get it. But I'm nearly at the planet." Thankfully Black wasn't very fast. Though he probably wouldn't be thankful for that soon enough. "Do you have any more information about this place I should know about?"

Coran typed something into the nearby console. The blue mouse nuzzled its head on top of yellow's, obviously satisfied with itself. "Well, yes," he spoke up again after a few moments of reading whatever popped up. "It's a relatively peaceful planet- Demetha- dedicated mainly to advancements to science and agriculture. There's no official race to the planet, it's simply a..." He snapped his fingers, brows furrowed in sudden focus. "What's the phrase? A..." His face suddenly lit up in realization. "Ah! A melting pot! It's a _melting pot_ of some of the brightest minds in the Universe. My Grandfather lived here for a few years when he was a young man studying abroad."

Keith nodded curtly, glancing from the video to the growing planet and back again. "Noted," he said. It sounded like a nice place. But something rubbed him the wrong way about this. Something was off, but he didn't know _what_ yet. "Is there anything else about this place? Why aren't there any Galra ships about?"

Coran pointed at him. "That's the thing," he answered. "The sensors haven't been able to pick up a single Galra-coded transmission. With number five's upgrades to the systems, we should be able to pick them up by now, but..." He shrugged. "There's nothing- simply the distress beacon and a staticky transmission from the planet's elected leader mentioning a Robeast." He typed something else in.

"What about our databases?" Allura piped up. "I'm certain we must have more information than that." 

Coran shook his head. "Our systems don't have much else on this place besides what I've said, but..." His eyes glanced back and forth between the console and the screen. "I'm trying to pull up anything new that could help on the extranet. I..." His fingers stopped. He stared at whatever was on the other screen.

"Coran?" Allura asked after a few ticks of silence. He could only imagine her look of concern right now. "Coran, what is it?"

"I know why there aren't any Galra heading to attack this planet," he said as Black entered the atmosphere. "There shouldn't even be a Robeast attacking this planet." He looked to the video screen with furrowing brows. He seemed to read a line, then go back and read it again. 

"What is it?" Hunk's comm beeped in.

"I..." Coran quickly shrugged it off, switching back to his usual chipper persona. "It must be a glitch in the system of some kind. I'll work on figuring it out and update you all if I find anything out."

Something didn't feel right. Keith could feel it in his gut, and he knew Black shared that concern. "Coran, wai--" The video closed before he could get anything else out. He sighed and looked around his surroundings. It would probably take the team a minute or so to get here.

The planet really was beautiful. From a distance, he thought it was like Earth- mainly ocean with a few sparse islands scattered about. But as Black hovered above the tall, canopy-topped trees, he could see it was quite the opposite. The blue surrounding him was a swamp or rainforest of some kind. 

He couldn't see much from the top, but he could see enough through the cracks in the blanket of electric blue leaves to get the general idea. It reminded him of what Wonderland's rainforests would probably look like. The midnight blue trunks were twisted and bent almost unnaturally, standing on visible branches as thick as Black's leg. Green water raced through the gaps at the very bottom. The sky was tinted a faded almost radioactive green.

It was certainly a unique sight.

In the distance, he could see some flat rocky gray peaks and much darker and more concerning smoke from the other side of the mountains. He steered Black towards it as quickly as he could manage.

"Team?" He said into his comm. "I think I see where the Robeast is." He tapped at the familiar buttons on his console. Thankfully they were in the same place as Red's were. "I'm sending you guys the coordinates. What's your ETAs?" There was quite a bit of billowing smoke. The people over there couldn't afford a long wait.

"I'm heading through the atmosphere now," Allura told him. "What's the plan?"

He could hear Lance snicker. "Princess, are you seriously asking if he has a _plan?"_

Keith furrowed his brows in indignation. "Hey," he said. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" He glared at Black's walls when he felt her poorly-hidden amusement. If she could emote with her metallic face, he could practically see the shit-eating grin she'd be trying to hide from him.

"Keith," Lance said. "Buddy. My man. You are _awful_ at coming up with plans. We all know you just hop in and hope you don't get burned."

"...He has a point," Hunk spoke up. "You have your strengths- strategy just isn't one of them."

He could imagine how Lance gestured to his console at that. _"Thank you,_ Hunk. Someone else gets it."

Keith wanted to argue, but there wouldn't be a point. They were pretty spot-on there. Thinking through a plan only left extra room and time for doubt. And in the middle of combat, doubt was dangerous. Just a second of hesitation could get you- or someone else- killed.

 _So can recklessness,_ Black reminded him patiently. _Perhaps you could give it a try sometime? It doesn't have to be now, but..._ She trailed off as the sensors picked up a visual on the Robeast.

 _"Oh,"_ he breathed out. At first, he wasn't even aware that he spoke that out loud.

Blue flew next to Black. "...Oh," he could hear Allura mutter.

"'Oh'?" Pidge repeated with a wary tone. "What do you guys mean by 'oh'?"

"I can see the Robeast now, and..." He gripped the joysticks a bit tighter. "This... will be interesting."

 _Indeed._ Black agreed. _Very rarely have I fought an enemy like this. This will definitely be a memorable battle._

Why would it be interesting? Well, for one, this thing was _huge._ He didn't know accurately how huge it probably was, considering how it was hunched over a burning sterile white skyscraper near the bottom of the mountain. But with how tall the thing was now, all of the Lions standing on top of each other like some weird Jenga tower would barely be shorter than the hunched over figure.

Not to mention it was _built._ The Robeast's frame had wide shoulders and thick dark metal plating on nearly every part of its body. Probably armor. The chinks in it were so small, it would definitely be a challenge to land a shot in there. But from this angle, that was the only possible weakness he could see.

A few seconds later, he saw Yellow, Red, and Green approach.

"Oh," Lance said. "I see what you guys mean."

"Well, Mr. Wise Guy," Keith said with a raised brow. "Got a plan?"

"We need to get its attention," Hunk said. "They're kinda hard to see, but there are some buildings _scarily close_ to that thing." Keith looked through the cracks in the canopy to see it was true. They were smooth and steely gray with dimmed red lights on the very top, kinda like a mechanical turtle's shell. They almost looked like they were sinking into the ground.

Hunk was right, they were too close for comfort. They had to do something about that before anyone else got hurt. Maybe...

"I see them," Allura said. "So we make the Robeast mad and drive it away from the settlement, correct?"

"Just what I was thinking," Keith nodded. "We can work out the rest of the plan after that part." He smirked. "Think you can hit the little spaces in that thing's armor, 'Cool Ninja Sharpshooter'?" If he knew anything about Lance, it was this: nothing motivated him faster than a challenge. Especially not one from Keith.

Just as he expected, Lance took the bait and ran with it. "You _know_ I can," he said. "Pissing things off is my specialty."

Keith chuckled. "We know. Now's your time to shine."

He's never seen Red move so fast before that. The cockpit revved with the newfound energy of battle, the addictive rush of adrenaline flowing into his veins. This was the moment he _lived for_ in combat. All other thoughts, all other feelings, were left on the backburner. All that mattered was the fundamental of _here and now._

At first, it was going alright. Black was a bit harder to maneuver than Red, but that didn't pose much of an issue at the time. Their shots weren't doing much more than make the Robeast grunt in irritation and occasionally wave a Lion away like they were a fly that got too close. That Lion was usually Red- the girl was like a string of fireworks. One second she'd be firing a couple potshots at the chinks of armor, and the next she'd be gone.

A rush of pride punctured his fighting haze. With how profoundly strong it felt, he couldn't really tell if it was from him and/or Black. He didn't stop long enough to mull it over.

Which isn't to say the rest of the team weren't doing a great job- they were flying like age-old professionals- he could just admit he was a bit biased. It was a marvel to see Red flowing around the creature. He could only _imagine_ the rush Lance must be getting right now.

"Keith," Pidge finally spoke up after what felt like seconds, but was probably ten minutes. "We're hitting it with all we've got, but it isn't working! You're the leader here. What should we do?"

The words caught in his throat. His stomach sank as the words echoed, rolling up and down the action-fogged expanse of his mind. He tried to think of a plan. Something reassuring to say, at the very _least._

Nothing. He had no idea what to say.

 _Wait a moment,_ Black told him as she glided over to face the Robeast. _What do you see, Keith?_

It had apparently shifted away from the tower, giving a minimal view of the front. Small swirling patterns were carved all the way from the Robeast's shoulders to its chin, glowing a blue so pale it was nearly white. The top and the bottom half of the thing's face were two different junctures, separating the jagged bottom jaw from the rest of the face. The eyes were the same blue as the patterns, but they didn't look like most Robeast's did.

It's brows were furrowed in concentration, eyes scanning up and down the tower. Almost like it was... searching for something.

 _That's... an interesting detail. I didn't even notice that,_ Black confessed. There was a slight sense of concern. It was a runaway feeling in the moment, one that was quickly brushed aside for business. _But look at it's chest. There's an opening of some kind._

Keith looked down to find that was true. He could only see a sliver of it, but from this angle it was a hexagon-esque shape in the middle of its chest. Unlike the rest of it, the liquid inside was a translucent yellow with a small black head-like shape inside. Wait a minute. He stopped. His eyes widened.

"Guys," he said without a second thought. "The Robeast has a little weak spot in it's chest. I think someone's in there! Focus on it!"

Red moved over to Black. "Wait, wh-" Lance started, then interrupted his own train of that. "Wait, I see it!" A blue beam shot from Red just as he finished that sentence. And once again, Red was gone.

While their other shots were shrugged off like mere annoyances, this one _impacted._ It didn't damage the glassy surface protecting/trapping whatever lay inside. But for better or worse, it certainly pissed the thing off. Like that single shot finally flicked the on switch.

The Robeast's expression twisted from pain to anger, the rumbling cry it made reflecting that transition. It moved all the way back from the tower and stood at full height on thick metallic goat-like legs. It let out a furious roar so loud someone on the other side of the planet could have heard it.

And that's when their luck soured a bit.

When it was still kneeling and focused on the tower, the Robeast wasn't really trying to hit any of them. It moved sluggishly at waving them away, so he naturally assumed that something so hulking and built like a massive version of how Lance described something called a yupper on Beta Traz would fight at the same speed. 

_Boy howdy,_ was he horribly wrong.

Before he could do anything to get out of the way, the Robeast's claws were wrapped around Black like she was a small stuffed toy. Only her head and the bottom of her back legs and tail stuck out either side. Anxious surprise radiated from both pilot and Lion like an unsure supernova. Black tried to struggle, move, do _something_ to get a better grasp on escape as his hands flew from console to console in equally desperate attempts.

All for nothing. The grip was unflinching, determined to keep her. He could see the team flying about and firing at the Robeast's wrist in a vain attempt to get them out of the situation they were stuck in. He could hear them calling on the comm for him, but growing static was drowning them out.

And then it got worse.

The Robeast started to _squeeze._ Metal shifted against metal. The clawed fingers tightened like a boa constrictor trying to choke out its prey. Black pushed against it at first in an attempt to keep it in place, if not push it back. But, of course, that didn't work. It was too strong to stop. All Black did was slow down the process for a bit.

That bit wasn't enough. Her front legs gave way, wrenched immediately to an impossible angle. A burst of spraining pain shot up his nerves. He winced as it stayed.

It didn't just stay either. No, that would be _too easy_ on him right now.

It only got worse the more the Robeast squeezed. Black tried to stay calm despite the pain at first, probably because she knew how much Keith was panicking. But as it progressed, she couldn't hold back the pain for his sake. It hit him like a tidal wave tied to a hurricane. His chest went tight until it felt like he could barely breathe. It was a feeling he hadn't had in _years,_ but the aches were unfortunately familiar. A cold, unforgiving metal hand was on his heart, and it seemed determined to squeeze until his heart burst from the pressure.

When Black screamed, his own throaty cry unconsciously synchronized with it. His vision went white for a moment, his limbs weightless and numb. For what felt like forever, all he could hear was the fuzzy static threatening to swallow him whole.

Which was how he didn't notice the blue sonar rings tunneling to the Robeast. Black only registered feeling again once the crushing seemed to stop. The pain still lingered, but she quickly pushed it down and stopped herself from falling.

 _Keith?_ He heard her distantly call for him in the blinding abyss. It was like hearing someone call for you from the other side of a busy traffic tunnel- barely noticeable, almost to the point where you distantly wondered whether or not you just imagined hearing it. _Keith, wake up!_

His black silhouette frame was a stark contrast to the pure white surrounding him. The desperate calls persisted, but he didn't pay them much mind. He didn't pay anything much mind.

Until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to find a purple silhouetted Lotor, shimmering with stardust in his eyes and moonlight giving his smile that radiant glow. The Prince didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He simply extended his other hand toward Keith with a knowing look.

Keith hesitated for a moment, but he took it. The sensations of the real world started to bleed in with rapid speed.

 _Welcome back,_ Black said warmly, but her voice was too strained to hide. He could still feel a dull hollow ache in his chest. _You should probably respond to your team._

His hearing cleared up. The static rippled away, sliding back into nonexistence. Immediately he heard each of the Paladins calling for him in an off-sync choir of concern that kept intensifying in a heartbreaking crescendo.

"Guys," Keith said. "I'm okay now. What happened?"

"Your comm went to complete static after you screamed," Pidge told him. "For a second there, we thought..." They didn't finish that thought. They just let it and the implications following at its heels hang heavy in the air. All of the team knew just what they were referencing.

"Black and I are fine," he said after a moment of pregnant silence. "It just got a bit... dicey there." He raised a brow. "What's the plan?"

"We've barely scratched this thing," Hunk said. "The only thing that's really affected it so far was Allura's sonar ray. We can't beat it individually," Keith's stomach instinctively sank. He had a nagging feeling he knew exactly how that sentence was going to end. "We _need_ Voltron!"

Black's cockpit rumbled at the prospect. He knew she was willing to do so- it was probably the only thing they could really do right now- but he could also sense the pain she was trying to hide.

"We haven't tried forming Voltron after the Lion switcharound," Pidge piped in. "What if it doesn't work?"

 _**Exactly. What if something goes wrong?**_ It took him a moment to realize he didn't say that out loud. 

"Then we'll have to figure something else out," Lance said. "But we gotta _try!"_

Nervous energy raced through him. He could feel the adrenaline boost Black was giving him, heart racing and blood rushing through his veins like a roaring river. He gripped the joysticks tightly. If he could see under his undersuit right now, his knuckles would probably be bone white.

"Hunk and Lance are right," Allura spoke up. "Like it or not, I don't see any other alternative right now. If we want to have a chance in this fight, we need to form Voltron!"

 _Your friends speak the truth,_ Black purred in his mind. _You know that. You may not feel ready at the moment,_ the understatement of the century. _But you don't need to. Let your fears go and just_ do it. 

"Keith," Hunk said. "What do you think we should do?"

Keith let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He forced himself to relax in his seat, tuning out every sound and sensation other than Black's urging thrum all around him. Her confidence, though a bit weakened, still held rooted to its spot like a time-weathered tree.

 _We can do this,_ Black assured, her voice both commanding and calming at the same time. _You know we can._

He opened his eyes with a newfound determination. "Okay team," his tone followed suit with Black's. He tried to ignore the stab of pain that hit his heart as his voice sounded the words he'd been dreading since he became the Black Paladin. _"Form Voltron!"_

They shot up to the sky like streaks of light. For a split second, he saw the Robeast look to them in confusion. He didn't waste much time thinking about that. It was a surprisingly common thing for their enemies to do- sit and stare with a mix of confusion and awe while they formed Voltron. This time was no different.

He braced himself as the rumbling of Black's cockpit only grew with the Voltron rush. His skin was tingling. It felt like his bones were vibrating. The usual pull of gravity forgot him for a few seconds. Just like every other time they managed to form Voltron. This was actually going to _work._

As the Lions shifted and connected together like puzzle pieces, he could feel their minds doing the same. The overwhelming amount of surprise and disbelief made his head spin. A tide of pleasant shock hit them all, likely from Allura as she experienced the feeling of forming Voltron for the first time. The ache in his chest intensified a bit, but only because he knew everyone could feel it too now.

In the place of five smaller giant robots, there was one much bigger robot. Instead of five separate people with different feelings and thought processes, they were all just different parts of one person. A person who was all too ready to ignore the pain and _kick some Robeast ass._

Keith couldn't help but smile as Voltron raced back down to Demetha's surface. The rush of it always ended up incomparable yet absolutely _amazing._ Especially now, as bubbly and light joy shifted into steely determination.

The shock on the Robeast's face as it stared at them for a few seconds was all too satisfying. It quickly hardened back into anger, but it was a nice sight while it lasted. 

The Robeast got into an animalistic fighting position. Metal plates on its shoulders shifted up like a threatened cat's fur, letting out a hissing stream of steam in the process. It growled, the brows furrowing further. The throat started to glow a bright blue, almost like it was... powering something up.

 _"Shield!"_ Keith and Black said in unison. Voltron's wings disconnected from their back, switching to their second role with practiced ease. Not even a second later, a thick pillar of blue light shot from the Robeast's throat. The three-second shot bounced off of the shield and separated into thinner streaks of light, bouncing around them.

One small shot managed to hit the Robeast's Iron Man-esque spot. The Robeast yelped in pain, and he could see the impact the small shot managed to have on it.

There was a crack in the glass. A little bit of yellow escaped through the infinitesimal hole and dribbled down the chrome-like surface.

"I'm not the only one who saw that, right?" Hunk was the first to speak up. Excitement and hope met like two old friends finally seeing each other again at the opportunity just shown to them.

"No, you're not," Lance told him. He practically _radiated_ fight-fueled excitement. Either him or Red, it was too hard to tell for certain. Either way, one or both of them were _living_ for this right now. "I think we have a way to beat this thing now."

"We just have to be careful," Pidge said. "If their own shot affects them like none of ours did, I don't wanna know what it could do to us."

"Right," Keith eyed the new pop up on his screen. It was an outline of the shield with a bar next to it. A fourth of it was already gone. "We can take three more shots like that before the shield is out." He readjusted his grip on the joysticks and let out his remaining doubts for the moment with a sigh. "Let's make 'em count."

The Robeast surged forward, slicing at the air with claws as tall as his entire body. He didn't wanna know what those could do to them. Especially with the lingering tight pressure from Black that only spiked up for a second as Voltron barely dodged the attack. The Robeast instead ended up slashing at air and the very end of the nearby mountains.

A drop of concern snaked its way into the ocean of their melded minds. "Keith," Pidge piped up. "Is Black doing okay?"

Keith raised a brow and tried to go back to that freaky mind-voice thing again. It didn't work this time, but Black still understood what he wanted to ask.

 _I am fine,_ she assured. _Just got a little bit crushed around the sides. I might be out of action for a day or two after this while I heal myself, but I can get through the pain for this battle. Trust me- I won't let all of you down._

"She says she's fine," Keith told them. "She'll need to heal for a day or two, but she can get through this battle."

The Robeast tugged at it's claws momentarily stuck in the mountains with a frustrated growl. They didn't budge, so it focused on them with a glare. It started to fire up another shot.

"Heads up!" Lance said. Voltron positioned themselves to block the shot right as it was starting to fire.

Once again, the shot bounced off the shield like it was nothing and separated. Most burned holes right through the canopy, leaving a damaging wound in either a tree trunk or destroying a few roots. A few headed for them, but they blocked the little shots easily enough.

The Robeast cried out as two shots hit two different places. One burned right through the stuck fingers, blasting two of the three fingers off in the process. Yellow translucent goo dripped from the burnt holes. The other hit the spot like a bullseye. The small crack grew much bigger, branching out and allowing quite a bit of the goo to creep out.

As nearly half the yellow goo drained out, the small figure trapped inside started to shift. Their head moved exactly like a slowly waking person's would. Their head moved around, and then it pointed toward them. Their thin arms started to beat at the glass desperately. Likely calling out for their help.

With how the glass looked, they'd probably only need one more shot. Easy, right? The Robeast was weakened, down one kind of weapon already, and seemingly bleeding. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who was probably going to win this fight.

Judging by the desperate look in it's eyes, the Robeast seemed to realize that too. But damn was it going to try it's absolute _hardest_ to twist the odds back to it's favor. It moved even faster, swiping with reckless abandon. It was like the wild animal bleeding out and backed into a corner- if it was going to go out, it was going to go out fighting like hell.

They were pretty good at avoiding most of the swipes. The Robeast's pattern of attack was pretty easy to figure out after the first two swipes. It only took them by surprise once, sinking it's claws into Black and dragging jagged lines through the metal. He felt that cutting pain through Black (despite her best attempts), and the rest of the team felt it through him.

Her pain only intensified. She was straining with the bonds, struggling to keep them together. He could feel that she wasn't going to last much longer like this.

"It's not firing," Keith said. "We need to try something else. Any ideas?"

"We could try the gun," Allura suggested. "Though I'm not sure how well it would work against this creature."

"Maybe we-" Pidge stopped in their tracks, probably wincing at the sudden tidal wave of pain as the Robeast stuck their claws in and brought Voltron in close.

Only then did the creature start to fire up another shot. With the angle they were at, there was no way to angle the shield to protect every bit of them. The team collectively braced for impact, mentally preparing themselves for the pain that was sure to come soon.

But it didn't come. They heard two different shots, but neither hit them. When he opened his eyes, he saw the Robeast glaring up at the sky.

Keith's eyes followed where it's gaze was pointed to see what managed to save them. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the familiar ship in the distance.

"Hello everyone!" Never in his life has he been happier to hear anyone's voice, let alone Coran's. "I see I wasn't too late to miss all the action."

The distraction was just enough to wrench themselves out of the Robeast's claws. There was another spike of pain at the sudden movement, but it was expected now. Somehow that helped make it less debilitating.

"Actually, Coran," he could practically feel the smile in Allura's voice. Probably because of Voltron, but it would've been easy from her tone anyways. "You arrived at just the right time."

"Glad to hear it," he said. "Because the Robeast's shots are coming back in a few ticks, so you should watch out."

The blue streaks of light in the sky were definitely coming for them. Most bounced in different directions, but a certain persistent bunch were headed straight for them. The shield could block most of them, but then that option would be out for a little while. They'd have to come up with something else, and with the state Black was in, they didn't have enough time for that.

 _I will be... fine,_ she lied weakly. _Just... do what needs to be done. This isn't my first injured battle, and it won't... be my last._

But still, he tried to think of a way to finish the fight as soon as possible. Not just for Black's sake, but for the sake of whoever was trapped inside the Robeast. Their pounding naturally wasn't adding to the sizable cracks, but they were still trying fervently.

With the angle the shots were coming at... And the fact that the Robeast's back was turned to them...

Keith got an idea.

"Guys," he said. "We need to get closer to the Robeast."

 _"What?!"_ Allura asked incredulously. "Did you not just see what happened when we got close to that thing?"

"You guys wanted me to come up with a plan," he said. "This is it. All I'm asking for is you guys to trust me on this." He could feel their hesitance, and he couldn't really blame them for it. "Be ready to move back when I say so. And Lance, get ready to catch whoever's in there when they fall out."

Confusion from the rest of the team swirled through him, but gradually that confusion shifted into realization. Then acceptance. They were probably thinking the same thing he was.

"Can do," Lance told him. "Let's do this."

Voltron reluctantly moved closer to the Robeast, almost baiting it to try and get them again. The creature slashed at them with the claws they still had. It seemed to be growing more and more frustrated that it couldn't catch them, too much so to notice that it was moving in a circle right in the targeting zone.

He could see the person inside the Robeast notice, however, because they stopped pounding at the glass. Instead they moved sluggishly to one side and curled up to make themselves as small as possible. A smart move to avoid getting blasted.

It was almost time. Just a few more seconds and...

 _"Now!"_ he shouted, and Voltron jerked back away from the Robeast.

For a few seconds, time seemed to slow down. He watched the Robeast's aggression turn to slight confusion. Then a split second of realization as the shots streaked right for the spot. By that time, it was too late to try and get out of the way as the blue lights tore through the glass and the metal behind it. They tore a hole the size of a Lion's head clean through the Robeast and demolished the trees in the blast zone.

The Robeast started to fall back, light draining from them as the yellow goo did. Voltron moved to it's back, Red's maw wide open as the person went out with the current. He saw the lanky figure tumble out of the back hole and right into Red. Her mouth shut immediately after.

"Got 'em!" Lance said. "I think they passed out, but Red's telling me that they're alive." The welcome rush of collective celebration washed over him. 

He only felt it for a moment before Black finally let go, but it was wonderful while it lasted. Voltron disassembled immediately, the phantom pain only slightly easing. Black drifted down to rest on the canopy.

 _Good work, Keith,_ a bone-tired, yet still wonderfully warm surge of pride rolled through him. _Please tell Coran to land. I'm... not entirely certain I can take the full flight back to the Castle._

 _**Sure thing,**_ he thought as he reached over to pat the nearest wall. _**I just went along with what you were thinking for most of it. You did a great job today.**_

Warmth surrounded him like a much-needed blanket. It overwhelmed the dull aches, if only for a little while. _Thank you, cub._

"Coran," he said. "Could you land the Castle somewhere nearby? Black got a bit roughed up in the fight and she's not up to flying all the way back."

"Sure thing," Coran told him. "I'll just be a few... what do you call them? 'Min-oots'?"

"Minutes," Pidge told him. "They're called 'minutes'."

"You were pretty close, though," Lance said. "Great job today." Red flew over to Black. "Keith, I'm gonna fly back and get this person to a healing pod, just in case. Think you can manage without me?"

"Usually I'd say yes," Keith told him with a teasing smile. "But you did a great job today. All of you guys did. If you wanna go back to the Castle, don't let me keep you."

He watched as Red, Blue, and Yellow flew off with their various thanks and temporary goodbyes. He raised a brow when he saw Green settle down on the canopy next to Black. A video call popped up on his console. He accepted it, and Pidge's face was on his screen.

"Pidge," he said, switching his comm off and focusing instead on talking to the video screen. "Why aren't you going back with the others? Something bothering you?"

They shrugged, taking their helmet off. "Not really," they combed their fingers through their classic case of helmet-hair. "Just thought you and Black might need some company. She got pretty fucked up in that fight."

 _Tell them to watch their language,_ Black wasn't angry, but he could feel her tired simmering. He couldn't help but snicker.

They raised a brow. "What's so funny?"

"Black just told me to tell you to 'watch your language,'" he said.

"Holy _shit, really?"_ he nodded, and they started laughing. "Oh my god, I can see where Shiro gets it fro-" Suddenly they stopped, realizing what they just said. "Oh," they looked at him with a pang of guilt. "Shit, I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking, it just kinda slipped out. I shouldn't have--"

"Pidge," he cut them off. "It's fine, really. I get it." He smiled. "Plus, you're probably right. Shiro used to swear like a _sailor_ before Kerberos."

Their brows raised in surprise. "Really?" They asked. "He doesn't seem like the type."

He nodded. "Usually only around his friends and/or at our own house," he said. "Never at other people's houses. Probably why you've never heard it before." Despite the light mood, his heart still felt heavy talking about Shiro. He sighed to try and vent that feeling out. "I miss him."

"I do too," Pidge said with an empathetic expression. "Just like Matt, every single day."

"I never really got to know Matt that well," Keith confessed. "He mainly hung out with Shiro. But for your sake, I miss him too." He looked at the screen with newfound confidence, probably radiating from Black. "But we'll find them one day. Together."

Pidge smiled. "You're damn right, we will." They raised a brow. "And Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the blanket last night," they told him. "I put it back on your bed, but I appreciate it."

He shrugged. "It's no problem," he said. "I like to think you'd do the same for me."

Comfortable silence settled between them after that. They barely even moved until the Castle landed a hundred feet or so away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man I love writing casual trans keith and purely platonic klance (it isn't gonna be romantic at all in this fic, but I will say now if you guys wanna know- lance will be getting with someone, it'll just be background bc keith can't recognize romantic relationships worth shit)
> 
> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lotor arrange to meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was originally planned to include the keitor 'date' too, or at least part of it, but I was super busy this week and decided to just have the entire next chapter be their date instead  
> enjoy!

After the battle, Keith settled into the comfortable post-mission routine. He didn't stay with Black long after they landed back on the Castle, her heavy burden of tiredness sapping into him.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, tracing his hand along the hinge of her bottom jaw. "If anything happens, be sure to let me know, but try to get all the rest you need."

 _Happily,_ she closed her mouth and moved back up. _Good night, Keith._ Her voice held that subtle groggy drag. He could tell she was more than happy to rest. In an instant, most of her feelings drifted from him. The burden on his already-sore shoulders eased as her glowing eyes faded out. She was still conscious, but it would take quite a bit to rouse her out of this state right now.

He should probably check up on the team, see how they were doing. Maybe see if the person they saved today was doing okay. Or even check if Allura might need help with the diplomatic meeting they were bound to have with the local heads of government.

...On second thought, strike that last one. There was no way in hell he'd be able to tolerate that without yelling at someone and/or punching someone in the face. Strategy and dealing with diplomatic relations were not his thing, and he was perfectly fine with that. Maybe he'd grow better at them if he had to stay the leader for a while.

But for right now, he was sweaty and gross and probably reeked like the inside of a two year old dirty gym sock. His limbs felt wonderfully sore with the post-adrenaline lull he'd not only gotten used to, but even grown to _like._ As was the usual after tough missions. And, following along with after-mission routine, a warm shower was in his very near future.

Keith moved through the halls to his room familiarly. He didn't really think of anything in particular, just idle tired emptiness. Another favorite thing about going on tough missions- his mind tended to shut up after them. Like Black right now, it barely functioned past keeping the necessities going, and that was alright with him. He needed a bit of quiet right now, and was perfectly content with glancing out the windows as he walked along.

It had been early morning Castle-time when they headed to this planet, but judging from how the sky was darkening, it was probably evening on Demetha. He couldn't see the sun, but it was probably slinking off into the horizon to rest for the night. Instead of radioactive green, the sky settled to a green so dark it was nearly pitch black. No moon popped up to brighten it up. Stars sparsely populated the sky, but they weren't the main source of light for the growing night.

As everything else darkened, the canopy atop the trees grew lighter. It was like an electronic expanse of ocean, waves of leaves rippling with the slightest breeze. They were nearly soft neon by the time he got to his bedroom door. Like the kind of lights you'd expect at a club put together and made into a gigantic blanket.

The door slid open to reveal a mostly lit room. The corner furthest from his bedside table was still dark, just the way he left the room. He looked over to see the obvious source- the Vrynean comm lit up with an incoming call. It lay by his haphazardly-made bed, his blanket obviously returned in a rush. He picked it up to reveal just who the call was coming in from.

Prince Lotor.

What the hell. A quick conversation before his shower couldn't hurt. Keith set his helmet down and confirmed the call, allowing it to go through.

Lotor's exasperated face popped up on screen. He wasn't currently looking at the screen, instead massaging his temples with his free hand. His hair was still tied back in some kind of ponytail, but this time a few rebellious strands had broken free and stayed loose on his forehead. When his eyes finally opened, his lashes seemed... darker. More accentuated. Like he was wearing pretty smooth eyeliner or something.

Immediately his expression softened. His face lost the furrowed creases of annoyance they'd had split seconds ago. He shot Keith a soft smile. "Ah, Keith," he said. "Thank Marmora, I thought you wouldn't pick up."

"Sorry," Keith told him, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I literally just got back from a mission. Which explains the whole..." He gestured to himself. "Sweaty and messy look."

"Ah," Lotor moved his hand to support his chin on his knuckles. "Then I count myself lucky you were able to pick up my call at all." He glanced up and down at what he could see of Keith. His smile didn't shift at all. "And for the record, I think you look wonderful, Paladin. Like a warrior should after a battle."

Keith smiled. "Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself." He raised a brow teasingly. "Ripping your hair out at the meetings yet?"

Lotor chuckled. "I'm trying not to, really. It's proven to be more of a challenge than I thought it would." He combed the strands out of his face. "I swear, if I have to hear _one more politician_ harp at me for something I'm not even responsible for, I might actually lose my mind." He looked to Keith. "That's partly why I called you. You're pretty much the only uninvolved party I know at the moment."

"'Partly'?" Keith raised a brow. "What were the other perks to calling me?"

"Well," Lotor turned to the side and started counting out each reason on his fingers. "It's always a pleasure to talk to you, the fact that someone like you even _talks_ to me is still surprising, your voice is easy to listen to..." He glanced back to Keith. "Need I go on, or have I made my point?"

"You've made your point." Keith combed his fingers through his unkempt helmet-hair with a small smile. "Thanks for the ego boost."

"I didn't say those things to boost your ego," Lotor told him, putting his hand down. "I said them because you asked for perks to calling you, and I gave them. None were embellished for your sake. It's simply the truth, Keith." He looked serious and almost... a bit confused. Like he somehow couldn't _fathom_ why Keith thought it was anything but the blunt truth.

Coming from a prince, even a privately-kept one, that was... an _honor._ To say the least. Keith didn't really know how to react to it other than stare with raised brows.

"I..." He tried, rubbing his neck with his free hand tentatively. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Keith." Lotor shrugged. Silence briefly visited the two before the prince decided to speak up again. "So, you were just on a mission." He raised a brow. "How did it go? Would you mind telling me about it?"

"Sure," he shifted until his back was to the wall. This might take a while. "It wasn't really a planned thing, just one of those spur of the moment ones." At least, that's what it was for the other Paladins. He got a little warning beforehand. Though he wasn't going to tell Lotor that before he told the team. "The Castle sensors picked up a distress signal about an attacking Robeast on a nearby planet. It was a bit tough, but nothing we couldn't handle." Was that technically a lie? Probably not.

Definitely an oversimplification, though.

"We're staying for a day or so while Allura talks to the leaders," he continued. "It's not a bad-looking place. I wouldn't mind exploring it a bit. If I have a few hours of free time, anyways."

Lotor raised a brow at that, finally snapping out of his enraptured state. "Oh? What's this planet called?"

"Demetha," he answered. Both of Lotor's brows raised in surprise. "Why? Do you know it?"

Lotor grinned. _"'Know_ it'?" His eyes picked up a spark of rampantly-growing excitement. "I loved it there! My caretakers used to take me there all the time as a child! Especially to this little mountain river ridge with a special moss that only grows there. It clings to the smooth underwater rocks and makes them so slippery they're nearly _impossible_ to stand on alone. I'd slide down them along with the current for _hours._ It used to drive my caretakers mad trying to get to me without slipping." He chuckled and sighed, his expression shifting to lighthearted nostalgia. "I haven't been there in _years."_

"Sounds like it was a lot of fun," Keith said, looking at him with a hint of fondness. Note to himself: Lotor was kind of adorable when he was _really_ excited. "If it's still open, I'd love to check it out while I'm here."

Lotor's eyes widened. He could almost see the lightbulb above his head turn on. "Keith," his voice was even. "After you clean yourself up, are you free for the next few hours?"

"...Yeah," he said with a shrug. "At least, I don't think we're going to be doing anything else today. Most of us are probably just gonna unwind from the battle today unless something else pops up." He shot Lotor a questioning look. "Why do you ask?"

"Because all of my other meetings today aren't mandatory," Lotor told him. "And if I have to sit through one more useless meeting, I might actually shoot someone. Likely myself." He shifted, standing up. He looked to something on the front wall with a smile. "Not to mention Demetha's not too far away from my ship at the moment. If I left soon, I'd get there in an hour. Hour and a half tops." He looked back to Keith with the same look. "Mere words are inefficient to describe this place. Perhaps I could show it to you instead?"

Keith mulled it over for a few moments. It sounded like a nice place. Plus it'd give him a chance to see Lotor in person again. But going to some remote place alone with some person he'd only had a few conversations with, mainly on his phone-like device? Sounded like the start of some horror story warning about the 'dangers of catfishing' or something.

Thing was, this wasn't really catfishing. He knew Lotor wasn't some creepy old man calling him 'honey' and 'darling' while trying to lure Keith into his old white van. Unfortunately, Lotor probably didn't have candy with him. Truly a shame.

It'd be nice to get to know more about the prince, one-on-one. No worries about Castle alarms or curfews for a few peaceful hours. Plus this place really did sound like a lot of fun. It's not like he could do anything useful with his time like bonding with Black or training at the same levels he'd beaten weeks ago for the hundredth time. Why not indulge in a little fun for once?

"...Of course, you don't have to," Lotor assured. "I would never want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything you don't wish to." His expression was sincere. "It just seems to me that being a legendary Paladin of Voltron never really allows for a lot of opportunities like this, so I wished to offer in case you-" He stopped in his tracks when Keith chuckled. "...What is it?"

"You're not pressuring me," Keith told him. "If I thought you were, I would've ended the call already. But here I am still," he gestured to himself with a small smile. "And it sounds like a great idea." He moved back to the edge of his bed. "I'll shower, change, tell someone where I'm going, and meet you there." He stood up. "Just send me the coordinates when you can."

Lotor's expression lit up with hopeful excitement. His eyes shone anew like blue moons in a glistening yellow sky. "Of course," he said. "In a moment. I need to change into more appropriate attire for swimming." Lotor moved, placing his comm in an upright position somewhere. He probably has a special stand in his room or something. "I'll see you soon. I look forward to it, Paladin."

"I do too, Prince." Keith shot him a smile. "See you in a bit." With that, he finally ended the call. Dim shadows dominated the entirety of his room once again. He placed the comm back down on its rightful place on his little bedside table.

Taking off his armor was just as routine as putting it on, but he went slower with it this time. There was no rush after all. It gave his mind a bit more time to properly process what he just agreed to.

Did he make the right choice? Going off on an alien planet he'd never been to before completely alone with someone not on the team? A month ago, such an idea would've been ridiculous to him. He'd have never agreed to it in a million years, no matter how pretty the person he'd be with was. Too many things could go wrong, and his mind was more than happy to paint some truly gruesome murals of the possibilities.

But Lotor was... _interesting_ to him. Very pretty too, as mentioned before. Keith could admit that- he wasn't _blind,_ after all- but looks weren't really a big factor in how the prince attracted him like a moth's flame. Keith himself couldn't place a finger on what exactly drew him to Lotor so much. 

Maybe it was his natural charm. Or his courteous and understanding behavior. Maybe it was how Keith could personally relate to him more than the prince currently knew. Maybe it was the way he paid attention to Keith whenever they talked- how nothing else seemed to matter to him while Keith was talking. Nobody else had ever looked at him like that, but he didn't mind it one bit.

Maybe it was something else entirely. Keith had no idea.

But no matter what it was, it added a much more favorable ingredient to the brewing concoction of his thoughts- excitement. Any place that got the normally calm prince so pumped up, especially after the awful day he seemed to be having, was a place Keith definitely wanted to see for himself. Plus it'd be nice to see Lotor in person again.

If he was truly worried about going alone, he reasoned to himself as he put his armor back in its wall case carefully, he could always tell the others what he was doing. ...Except that knowing them, they'd try to stick their noses in his business. Try to figure out more information about Lotor. Either that or tease him about it mercilessly somehow. Maybe he could just tell one person, like Hunk or Allura.

On second thought, not Allura. She was a terrible gossip. And Hunk would probably tell the others as soon as they asked. The big guy was awful at keeping secrets from his best friends. With how things looked right now, telling Coran was probably the safest bet. He was the least likely to spill it the second Keith left or try to snoop.

That... could work. It wasn't a flawless plan, but maybe if he brought his comm with him, it would be good enough for this occasion. So if someone really needed him, they could just call him up.

He nodded to himself as he picked out his clothes for the occasion. A towel and his only swimsuit, of course. Should he bring his t-shirt? Was a shirt really necessary for this? He moved to the small side bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

The cut on his shoulder from the trials of Marmora was still as big as it was when he got it. Healing pods didn't do anything to make it disappear, only made it stop bleeding. Apparently he'd gotten in too late to avoid some marring of the skin. It probably wouldn't be too surprising to Lotor, along with the various small almost unnoticeable nicks that littered his body.

When his eyes trailed down himself, he instinctively made his decision. The top scars like long twin crescent moons would be a bit harder and more uncomfortable for him to explain than battle scars. His stomach churned at the thought, so he went back to grab a shirt. The two of them weren't nearly that close yet. He placed his clothes on the small counter and pressed the on button to the nooked and out of doorway view Altean shower. Warm water cascaded from the nozzle, and Keith quickly stepped under it.

Washing was another mindless activity. It wasn't like he did anything special to clean himself- just average soap, shampoo, and conditioner was good enough for him. He could just feel the sweat and worries wash off his back and let his mind wander aimlessly.

The only people who knew on the team were Lance and Shiro. Lance only knew because of the Castle swimming pool incident, and if Keith had known Lance was going to be in that elevator he would've worn a shirt then too. But Lance didn't say anything about it. Just glanced at his scars once casually before looking him in the eyes and asking what the heck he was doing there. His expression didn't even change. He treated Keith the same as he always had- picking petty fights and starting stupid little competitions.

He had to admit- Lance earned quite a bit of his respect that day.

Shiro knew because _of course_ he did. He was the first one Keith ever told. He took it pretty calmly, asking what his adopted little brother's name was. When someone called Keith by his birth name with Shiro around, he was the first to patiently correct them. The only reason he was even able to afford top surgery was because Shiro worked his ass off at work, every second of overtime he could get, to save up enough money to add to Keith's for his birthday so he could afford it all.

For the longest time, Shiro was pretty much the only good thing in his life. His foster mom hated his guts. Pretty much the only reason she decided to keep the 'problem child' was cause he's pretty sure Shiro convinced her to. He stayed up to help Keith study for big exams, but always knew when it was a good time to quit for the night and hit the hay. He shared Keith's love of space and what might lie beyond their solar system. Whenever Keith was in a bad mood, he'd find a little post-it note with a little astronomy fun fact on his desk or in his books.

He knew most of them already, but the thought truly counted. They always made him smile. So at the end of the day, they did what they were supposed to.

After Kerberos, Keith was choked with a tornado of confusion, sadness, and anger. At the Garrison the anger and resentment over it all, how they fucking _dared_ to blame one of the best pilots and people of the generation, grew and melded with his attitude. He grew even quieter in class. He stopped turning in assignments. He snapped at teachers without a single damn.

After all, what was the point? They didn't deserve an ounce of his effort.

He remembered one day when Iverson asked him where his project was. He just shrugged. "I don't know," he still remembered the poison lining his throat transferring to his words. "Where's Shiro?"

Iverson turned a shade of red he wasn't sure human beings could normally achieve. It didn't take much after that to get expelled.

After the first time Shiro disappeared into thin air, Keith was frustrated and vengeful for _months._ Sleepless nights and flavorless food meant only to fill him up became a regular thing living in his dad's old shack. Nothing would stop him from figuring out what was going on.

Now, after a second time? The tornado returned with a vengeance. But he wasn't... angry this time. He wasn't necessarily _sad_ either. Just an empty, pins-and-needles melancholy whenever he thought about how he finally had Shiro back for a few blessed months, only to disappear again. His body and mind were getting used to the crushing disappointment.

To him, that was the scariest part. Not caring about it as much as he used to.

But he was going to see Lotor. He could be a respectable Paladin and budding friend for a few hours instead of the haunted mess he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. That was something he truly needed right now- escape. Not running away from it all permanently anymore, just... pausing the parts he didn't want to think about for a few blessed hours. That was a respectable loophole, right?

Keith stepped out of the shower, letting the motion sensors do their job and shut off once he was out for a minute or so. The mirror was foggy as he stepped to it, distorting his figure to hazy blobs of color. He picked the towel up and dried himself off quickly. The Vrynean comm was beeping loud enough for him to hear through the door. He didn't want to miss it for too long in case it was something important. He placed his towel down in a slightly damp heap on the counter.

The pearlescent Altean comb an inch or so away was next. It was more to get as many unnecessary strands out as possible rather than making his hair look nice. It was way too far gone in rat's nest tangles for that. He always put off cutting it, but that would probably be the safest (translation: least annoying) bet. Later, of course. Some other time when he wasn't busy.

He winced at the snags tugging sharply at his sensitive scalp. It was always a pain he expected and experienced many times, but it always hurt just as sharply as it did the first time. He wasn't really thorough with it, just a few strokes through the most difficult parts of his hair before putting the comb back in its original spot.

Changing was easy enough once all that was done. It didn't matter much to him if his skin was still a bit wet, wet enough to seep slightly into his clothes. No point overreacting about it. They were definitely going to get wet again soon anyways. He grabbed his used towel.

Keith headed back into his room. His first stop was by the little washing machine to place his towel on the floor right by it, but the close second was to see who messaged him. The last one was sent about five minutes ago. The first one was twenty minutes ago.

_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} Greetings once again, Keith._   
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} I am currently on my way over, and I shall message you the coordinates once I find them out._   
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} ...To be quite honest with you, I look forward to seeing you again in person._   
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} Se'lis ma garena, ga wáran._   
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} ('Until I see you again, honored one.' In case you wished to know.)_

The last message Lotor sent him was just very specific coordinates. They were pretty far from where the Castle was parked, but in one of the pods such a trip would take like 10 minutes without difficulty. 25 if something broke down halfway and he had to walk the rest of the way to meet Lotor. Point was, for once time was on his side. At least for now.

He kept the comm in one hand as he rifled through the washing machine for his spare towel. It wasn't too hard to find- mainly 'cause Keith didn't really have that many clothes to wash in the first place. None of them were nearly as light as the Castle's white towels, making them pretty damn easy to spot in the dried pile. He picked out the towel and slung it over his shoulder. The boots were the easiest part saved for last, so when he was done with them, he could finally leave his room and get on his way.

He walked out of his room with jittering nerves. He was still nervous but in a... different way. A much better feeling way. Instead of anxiety, he was now filled with anticipation for what was to come.

The Castle hallways were silent once again as he walked through. Not the tense, pre-mission anxiety silence. It was an easy, relaxed silence this time. The kind between two true friends who could just chill and not talk for hours without feeling uncomfortable about it. He didn't speak from personal experience- Shiro was much too sociable for that- but it sounded like a pretty nice concept.

He passed by Pidge typing up a storm on their computer in their sleeping nook from last night. They looked determined, too wrapped up in whatever they were working on to notice him walking by. He didn't bother to make his presence known- doing so would only make them question what he was going to do. Plus he didn't want to interrupt their train of thought when they were in the Zone, so he just continued on his way.

He finally found Coran heading for Allura's room. The old Altean shot him a smile when he noticed Keith. He didn't even seem to notice what he was wearing. Or he did but just didn't mind it. It was hard to tell at this point.

"Hello, number three!" Coran said as Keith headed for him. "You did a mighty fine job today during the mission." He raised a brow. "There something you need from me?"

"Thanks," he replied. "So did you. And... kinda?" He shrugged. "Just wanted to let one of you guys know I'm heading out for a couple hours." He held up his comm. "I'm bringing this with me, so if there's an emergency, just call me up."

"Alright," he nodded in understanding. "Are you going anywhere in particular?"

"Yeah," Keith said. "I'm..." Alright, time to be as vague as humanly possible. "I heard about some river with slippery rocks or something. It sounds fun, so I thought I'd check it out." He gestured to Coran. "I wanted to let someone know, and you were the first person I found, so... yeah." 

Nailed it.

Coran's brows raised. "You're going to Sylemma Rock?" Keith, not knowing what else to do, nodded. Coran's face lit up at the affirmation. "That's wonderful! It truly is a fun place," he shot Keith a knowing look. "Though a _lot_ more so with someone else, I must say." And in a second, that look was gone. "In any event though," he placed a hand on Keith's shoulder. "I hope you have fun."

"I..." Did Coran know? He acted like he did, but... "Thanks, Coran." Keith said, trying to ignore the pressing questions flying about his mind at the speed of light. "I'll try to." He moved away from the Altean with what he hoped look like a genuine smile. It was a sweet gesture. He didn't want to just high-tail it away from Coran without something.

Though if he walked a bit faster than usual to get to the pod bay, he couldn't really blame himself for getting away from the awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lotor's 'evening out'. (Translation: date)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another fun chapter! I haven't slept yet but it's 12:45 right now so this is technically a Sunday update.  
> Enjoy!

Keith scanned the area below him, searching through the canopy's break below the tall mountain for some kind of sign. The river was right below him, rushing past dark green-freckled rocks. No matter where or how he looked at the area below him, there wasn't a single sign of Lotor or a place big enough to land on. He grabbed his comm and sent out a quick message.

_{User} I'm above the river_  
_{User} where are you?_

He put the comm down with a sigh and waited for some kind of response. A signal, some kind of flare, _anything_ was better than sitting around and waiting. The area below and around him was still with the night's dead air. A soft breeze danced with the canopy's neon leaves, and sleek multicolored squirrel... things moved about the trunks. But nothing was happening. Everything was peaceful and quiet, as it should be.

That thought didn't help calm him down one bit. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Maybe he had the wrong place and Lotor was waiting for him on the opposite side of the planet. He gripped the controls tighter as the worst thought reared its ugly head. Maybe this whole thing was an elaborate-

A succinct dinging noise stopped his accelerating anxiety. Thankfully, it was a new message from Lotor. He picked up his comm and pressed the screen to open it.

_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} If you're in the small white ship, I can see you currently. I'm at the foot of the mountain where my cruiser's parked._  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} It's quite a walk up from here. I sincerely hope you like hiking, Paladin._

Keith typed out a quick message.

_{User} what if I don't? what if I just land up here and start without you?_

Not a second later, a reply popped up.

_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} Then I hope you're a strong swimmer._  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} It might tarnish your reputation a bit if people knew someone like me had to fish you out of the river._  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} I can see the headlines now- a fearless Paladin of Voltron, famed for his tenacity in battle, finds his one true enemy: water. What a shame that would be._

Keith couldn't help but chuckle at the message. As he typed out his reply, a white dot close to his position popped up on the pod's mini map. It pinged in unison with his comm.

_{User} indeed._  
_{User} I don't think I'll take those chances. luckily, I won't have to. my pod just picked up your comm's signal. see you in a second._

He finally put the comm back down and focused on the controls again. It didn't take too long to get to where Lotor was. As he approached, he could see a flash of blue, and there the Prince was- standing in a small clearing and looking up to him. He was holding up his own comm, reflecting the canopy's glow against the screen and up to him in a makeshift signal.

Keith put the pod in a slow descent, careful not to brush against and break the canopy. Heaven knows they destroyed enough of the forest during the Robeast battle. He'd rather not do any more of that right now if he could help it.

It landed right next to a sleek chrome ship that looked more like an escape pod than an actual ship to pilot around. It was only a few feet taller than him, and a few feet longer than he would be lying down. Tech-like swirling designs decorated the pod, connecting and leading the eyes to an oval-shaped cyan blue screen. It was just pure blue- he couldn't see past it if he tried harder than a spared glance.

Lotor moved over to the Altean pod, eyeing it with mild interest. Probably observing it just like Keith had done to his own cruiser. He seemed impressed by what he saw. That look was quickly dismissed as the pod's cover dissipated to give Keith a way out. The night air's chill rushed to eagerly greet him.

As did the sight of what Lotor had decided to wear. It was a one-piece suit cut like a t-shirt with short sleeves barely long enough to deserve getting called sleeves. It was a dark purple, with a minimalist symmetrical diamond outline square on the chest. It attached to two opposing thick white lines curving and connecting to probably similar designs on the back. The suit did nothing to hide the lean muscle underneath and displayed his wide scarred shoulders and battle-worn arms with an unspoken air of pride.

His hair had transformed from a simple tight ponytail to something even better- a braided bun, tight-knit in the back. Only a few rebellious strands stayed out of its grasp, gaining refuge in the back of Lotor's neck. The sharpness of his eye outlines remained the same. His expectant eyes melded with the canopy's glow brilliantly. It was... a _really_ nice look on him.

...He's been staring at Lotor a bit too long, hasn't he? This part- staring in dumb awe of how the Prince looked- was all too familiar to him. Familiar enough to catch on to it quicker and save himself a bit of embarrassment.

Keith stood up, grabbing his towel and the comm. "Wow," he said, sparing himself one more glance at the prince. "You look... _amazing."_ It made him feel like his own outfit was a bit oversimplified, to be honest. Though judging by how Lotor's expression didn't change as he openly eyed Keith, he didn't seem to mind that too much.

"As do you, Keith." He extended a hand out to Keith. "Need any assistance?"

"No," Keith told him honestly, yet he still took the hand to 'help' him get out of the pod. He shot Lotor a smile. "I appreciate it, though. Thanks." His boots sunk into the muddy ground the slightest bit.

Lotor didn't hesitate to return it as he removed his hand from Keith's grasp. "It's no problem at all, Keith." He gestured to a gradually drying dirt path starting up the dark gray mountain. "Shall we?"

Keith nodded and pressed the hidden button to make the cover reappear over the pod. "We shall." He agreed and started toward the path. It didn't take long for Lotor to catch up on the few steps he took.

He could already see the path would continue on for a while. It was a steady slope up and around the mountain, curving smoothly on the trip up to the roaring river. At the top, green water consistently cascaded down the mountain to a sizable lake below. A lake that stopped only a few yards away from their pods. A jump from the top into the lake was probably very possible, but a bit harrowing given the height.

"So," Keith looked over to Lotor with a raised brow as they walked along, muddy boots leaving the slightest prints. "'Honored one', huh?"

Lotor smiled with a chuckle that could pass for an exhale. "Indeed," he said. "You're a Paladin of Voltron. I feel like you should be given your dues." He looked back to Keith. "Of course, if you're uncomfortable with it, just tell me. I promise I'll stop."

"No, it's fine," Keith assured. "More than fine, actually. It's just..." He shrugged. "A bit weird. I don't know. Maybe 'cause no one's ever called me anything like that before. It took me a second to get used to it."

"Well," Lotor's eyes shone. "That's a shame, ga wáran." An idea seemed to suddenly strike him, given how his expression snapped to realization. "Speaking of which," he glanced to the path. "It will take us a few minutes to get all the way up to Sylemma." His eyes didn't leave Keith alone for long. "Would you like to learn a bit of Galran while we're have this opportunity? I remember you mentioning it the other day."

Keith's brows raised. With how busy the day's been, that tidbit had slipped his mind for a little while. He nodded. "Of course I do."

"Alright," Lotor gave him a light questioning look. "What is it that you want to learn first? Some basic words? A legend, maybe?"

Keith hummed in consideration. He went with the first thing that popped into his head. "Do you know anything about Marmora? I've heard the name, but I don't know who they are. Do you?"

"Ah," Lotor nodded. "I certainly know of her. She's..." He sighed. "One of the most compelling Creators, to be quite honest." He kept close to Keith as he started to explain. "She's one of the first Creators, and assisted in creating the Universe. But for the longest time, legends said she wasn't really... defined by a trait like the others were. She was never given the opportunity to do anything herself." He glanced over to Keith. "Until she met Arakhu."

Keith had listened intently, mentally storing every bit of information Lotor was giving him. He blinked back to reality when the prince stopped speaking for a moment. "'Arakhu'?" He raised a brow. "Who was that?"

"A mortal man," Lotor answered. He'd probably been waiting for that question to pop up. "He was one of the first Galra. He was charming and gracious in every aspect, a fair and respected leader for all his people. It didn't take much for him to get into Marmora's good graces." His looked to Keith with a twinkle in his eye. "And into her heart." 

Lotor looked to the sky and his eyes clouded over, seeing through the veil of time back to the distant past. "The stories of their time together was always like a children's tale- the star-crossed lovers who ignored the grim future ahead of them and focused on their time together. She learned the basis of leadership and found a strong foundation through their loving relationship," he raised one hand in comparison. "...And he learned how the Creators worked and left his permanent mark on history." He held up the other and kept them equal. "Many saw them as the perfect couple. They even had children, at one point."

"Wait, what?" Keith asked. "A Goddess and a mortal had kids? How the hell is that possible?"

Lotor opened his mouth to say something, then promptly shut it. His brows furrowed. He hummed in consideration. "I... never questioned that part," he said. "In truth, I always saw it like my own parents' union, in a way. Made me feel better." He shrugged. "But they never really explained how it was possible. Their children- Mallorius and Gamora- were the only ones sired of such a union." His face fell. "Likely because of how it ended."

"Hey," Keith placed a hand on his shoulder. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine by me." He gave the prince a soft smile. "I don't want to ruin a beautiful evening like this."

His brows creased up. He wiped at his barely-shining eyes. "Thank you," he said. "You're right. A night like this isn't the time for such topics. Maybe I can finish this story another time, in a much better mood." He chuckled. "Though with the same pleasant company, I hope."

"Of course," Keith said automatically. "Flatterer."

Lotor raised up his hands. "Guilty as charged, Paladin. What can I say?" He shot Keith an easy smile. "You're an easy one to compliment."

"Yeah, well," he moved his hand off Lotor's shoulder. "I've heard plenty of pick-up lines by now, Princey." Mainly from Lance flirting with any alien he found remotely attractive. "You're going to have to try harder if you want to make me blush."

Lotor raised a brow. "Is that a challenge I hear, dear Paladin?"

Keith shrugged. "You can take it however you want to." He focused more on the path as it turned to uneven chunks of precariously stacked rocks. Judging from how the rushing water was growing louder and louder, he could imagine they were getting pretty close. "I'm just telling you something after you've told me so much."

Lotor laughed at that. It sounded like a burst of a soft song part of him wanted to hear more of. (Was that a weird thing to think about Lotor? It was a _really_ nice laugh.) "I'll certainly keep that in mind, ga wáran."

The two of them stayed in mutual silence as they zig-zagged on the safest rocks their legs could reach. Lotor was a rock ahead, more used to the random pattern than Keith obviously was. Every few seconds Keith would glance up to see the prince looking at him with a twinkle in his eye and a self-satisfied smile on his face. He just huffed in indignation and kept going.

After what felt like an eternity of platforming the rest of the way up the mountain, they finally arrived at Sylemma Rock. An old brown sign standing right by the end of the path probably told them so in strange white symbols. Different symbols were underneath it, but he couldn't possibly read any of them. He could only assume, since Lotor walked past it without a second thought.

Lotor did, however, stop at the 'end' of the path- where it opened up to and blended with the thick rock formations accompanying the green river. It reflected the canopy's glow with age-old practiced ease. It didn't look too different from the rest of the water on Demetha to Keith. But judging by how Lotor looked at it, the river might as well have run out of the fountain of youth.

Lotor openly gestured to the clearing. "Well, this is it." He rested his knuckles on his hips with an excited sigh. Rings of blue pointed in his direction. "This is Sylemma Rock. What do you think?"

It was... a pretty nice looking place, he had to admit. It was a pretty wide and smooth river, completely absent of jutting rocks. It didn't look that deep- probably about thigh height standing at the lowest point. He could see the moss-mottled rocky ground at certain points. They looked sloppily smoothed, like someone tried and did a half-assed job before they quit. They didn't look sharp at all, just... _very_ uneven and slanting around as far as he could see. But maybe that was the point to make the rocks easier to slide on. It made a certain kind of sense.

A blue wooden bridge connected both sides in the middle a couple yards away from the two of them. It looked pretty beat-up to him, faded and weathered by the constant trial of time. It was simply-built, yet looked sturdy despite it all. If the boards weren't replaced, the bridge could probably last another ten years or so before one collapsed.

The scene before him was simple yet... _perfect._ He could totally imagine adoring a place like this as a young kid. Looking for fossils in the rocks and searching for Bigfoot tracks in the nearby dirt. He could also totally imagine little Lotor doing about the same thing, letting the current push him along 'till the little ridge before the waterfall was in reach and giving his caretakers a near heart attack every time. The thought made him smile.

"It's beautiful," Keith told him. "I love it."

Lotor's expression softened. "That's good," he placed a hand lightly on Keith's upper back. He didn't see the sparkles of mischief in Lotor's eyes early enough to stop whatever the prince was planning. He leaned in closer. Keith stayed rigid, rooted to his spot as Lotor moved his lips up to his ear. Mostly out of curiosity for where it was going. "Because I'll give you the honor..." He didn't think anything of it when Lotor's brushing lips left his skin to smirk. 

He found out what the smirk was for a split second later.

In a fluid motion, Lotor jerked away from Keith's ear to say, _"...Of trying it out first!"_ The hand on his back moved forward, pushing his unsuspecting frame into the river easily. He didn't have any time to react to the sudden assault aside from dropping his comm to keep it out of potential harm and his towel to keep it dry before he was forced into Sylemma Rock.

He was pushed and flipped around onto a pretty high rock, high enough to keep water from getting in his boots and allowing him to keep his balance. For like 2 seconds before he fell flat on his ass. The only reason why it didn't hurt at the impact was because it didn't land on the rock he was standing on. No, that would be too easy on him right now.

Instead, he clumsily fell in back first and got swept up in the cold rushing current. For a few pretty embarrassing seconds, the river waters played with him like a kitten's brand new ball of yarn. He was too turned around to even think about getting out of it for a moment. The river swirling him around was admittedly a bit fun, but being rushed into it would not have been his first choice. Or his second.

Keith searched for a handhold in the water, _anything_ to stop his little involuntary trip. But everything he found as a possibility didn't work out for him- it was too small, too smooth, or he lost it in the rush before he could really grab hold of it. He seemed doomed to flail around like an idiot in the water until he could grab the ridge a few feet away.

But as luck would have it, he ended up not having to. His saving grace manifested as a sudden especially deep dip in the rock. He fell into it easily, his entire body dipping into the gap. Water rushed to his ears and drowned out the annoyingly endearing melody of Lotor's laughter.

On the plus side, it was deep enough for his curled up body to find refuge from the current's strong pull. He quickly rearranged his position and planted his feet at the bottom of the gap. Preparing to grab for a side if he slipped, Keith surfaced out of the water. His now-soaked bangs blocked most of his view of Lotor's expression, but he had a pretty good idea what it was right now. Shivers from the cold water wracked his body as lightly as Lotor's initial touch.

Despite that, Keith still shot him the dirtiest look he could possibly manage. He held his bangs out of his face just to make it as clear as he could. The laughter just made him narrow his eyes and draw his lips into a thin line. "That was _such_ a dick move," he said. "I swear, when I get over there..."

"What are you going to do?" Lotor quirked up a teasing brow. "Punish me?" His eyes were alight with humor, and his smile was infectious. Keith had to fight to keep his icy glare, even with the sudden embarrassed heat rushing to his skin. "Please. Go ahead and try it, Paladin." He gestured to the riverbed. "If you can get out of the river without falling or needing my assistance, I'll accept whatever you ask me to do as retribution."

"Challenge accepted." Those words lit a determined fire in him, hot enough to allow him to ignore any embarrassment he might otherwise feel. He had no idea how he wanted to get back at Lotor yet, but that could wait until he was actually out of the water. As he stepped out of the gap, a thought hit him- this didn't seem like much of a challenge. Sure, he'd have to be super careful about his steps, but it wouldn't be _too_ hard, right?

Wrong. He was so very royally _wrong._

The current wasn't nearly strong enough to push him back down, but the rocks made it nearly impossible to stay standing after taking a step without holding onto support. Just a simple step nearly sent him back down. With every one he took, he had to pause for a minute or so to readjust his balance. Considering how slow he had to go, it seemed like such a little trip would take at least 20 minutes. The distance between him and the riverbed might as well have been _miles._

All the while, he could see Lotor waiting for him at the end of it. He stayed stock still in his spot, save for the occasional shift in idle movement while Keith splashed around trying to stay up. His expression never changed. The slight smirk on the prince's face kept Keith going out of spite, but it was unraveling along with the situation very quickly.

It was getting increasingly obvious that there was no way Keith was going to make it out like this in the near future. He had to think of something else if he wanted to get a little payback.

Almost immediately, an idea popped into his head. It was an amateur move, pretty simple, and would probably end up with him flat on his ass again. But such was the price for petty revenge. Because while he'd still be stuck in the water, so would Lotor. That was good enough for him right now.

Keith faked a near slip with little effort. It was a bit more of a struggle to stay standing than the other times, so he had a pretty good feeling about how legit it looked. Finally he sighed. He was soaked, he was chilly from the water and the night air, and he was trying not to smile and give his plan away. He looked at Lotor earnestly. "Alright," he said. "I give up." He extended a hand to the prince. "Help me out."

For a second, Lotor looked... surprised. Like he wasn't expecting Keith to actually give up on this. The smugness on his face melted to a softer, more empathetic expression. "I understand how difficult it is," he said, moving over to Keith and taking his hand. "My first time here, I--"

Keith didn't give him the chance to continue that sentence. While Lotor was starting to brace for the paladin's weight, it wasn't enough to account for the unexpected idea of Keith pulling him in with all the strength he could muster. All he could utter was a quick exclamation of surprise before his body rammed into Keith's, knocking them both down into the water.

For a split second, Lotor was nearly as close as he possibly could be. Purple arms pressed against pale ones wracked with gooseflesh. Lotor's swimsuit pattern-down was sleek and smooth like a snake's newly minted scales, Keith quickly discovered. He had to, as the water made his t-shirt hike up a bit and pressed Lotor's torso against the skin. One hand still held onto the other's like their lives depended on it. Apparently the prince was one to cling to the most familiar thing in an uncertain situation.

The waters swirled them around a little bit, and he could only imagine whoever was in charge of the universe was amused by it. The next thing he knew, the two of them were in a position he didn't anticipate when he thought up of this simple plan. One that definitely looked compromising for the two seconds they stayed in it.

Lotor was braced on his back against a high rock until water only lapped at the bottom half of his body. Keith's hands were on either side of the prince's head in the water to keep himself up and off Lotor. One was holding Lotor's hand still, keeping it in the same position. That wasn't really the bad part; he could deal with that. He quickly let go. 

The worst part was where their legs naturally situated. Keith's left knee was initially less than a hair away from Lotor's crotch. Lotor's left leg was mirrored upwards in the same position between Keith's legs, barely brushing at the skin. They only took the time to exchange a wide-eyed look, mentally agree that this was _really_ awkward, and then finally moved out of it like they got burned.

Keith moved to sit crosslegged next to Lotor, close and yet carefully not close enough to touch him. Lotor sat up and hugged himself, shivering slightly. The moss patterns on the rock quickly became very interesting to Keith as the familiar heat of embarrassment rushed to his skin. It was nearly the same as last time, but turned up a hundred or so extra degrees.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he expected Lotor to say about it. If there was a button to just erase himself from existence at that moment, he'd probably push it just to save himself from the lingering awkwardness.

He wasn't sure how he thought Lotor would react, but it certainly wasn't lighthearted laughing. "Guess I succeeded in your challenge, hm?" 

He looked up to the prince beside him with a quirked brow. "What do you mean by that?"

Lotor pointed to Keith's face with a soft expression. "Your face, Keith." He said matter-of-factly. "You're blushing right now. Which means I have prevailed at your little challenge."

"Oh," Keith said. "...So _that's_ what you just took from this?"

"Well yes," Lotor leaned back on his hands casually, looking to the sky. "I must admit, you had me fooled. I thought you were really giving up for a moment there." He glanced at Keith with eyes that shone brighter than the canopy. "I guess I should have known better." 

He shrugged and continued after a moment. "As for our 'scandalous' little position just now? I didn't mind it." His eyes darkened as his eyelids slid down a bit. "I've certainly been between the legs of and underneath _much_ less attractive men. I have not, however, had the same pleasure with one even more so." Just to hammer the last nail into Keith's metaphorical coffin, he looked the paladin up and down and grinned approvingly.

"Oh my _god,"_ Keith felt the heat rush up again and buried his face in his hands. "Kill me now." Where was the button to erase his existence when he needed it most?

It was a mutter to himself, but Lotor must've heard it nevertheless. He could hear him hum in fake consideration. "I'd rather not," he said. "That'd just be a waste of a perfectly good life. Come on," the water rippled as he felt Lotor stand up. "Let's not spend such a beautiful evening in any kind of fear." Keith looked through the cracks to see Lotor holding a hand out to him. "The rest of the universe doesn't exist right now, right?"

Keith took the hand up cautiously, on guard for any sudden attack that would wind up with him back in the water. He quickly relaxed when none came.

For a while, he had no idea how much time had passed. Lotor's beaming radiance momentarily burned all of his problems out of his head. His laugh silenced any troubles brewing in his mind.

_"You know, Keith," Lotor looked to him, his bun slowly unraveling without a care in the world. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before."_

_Keith shrugged, brushing sopping wet hair behind his ear. "Flying in Voltron doesn't really give you a lot of chances to laugh," he said honestly. "I haven't done it in a while." Translation: about 6 months by now. "It's..." He smiled to himself. "Nice."_

_Lotor chuckled, looked down at their intertwined hands and back up to him, He didn't let go. The smile on his face shrunk but never fell nor faltered in its unabashed happiness. "It certainly is."_

Time melted away as they interacted with their private little dimension. Neither of their alarms back to the real world called as they splashed around, had stupid little sliding competitions, and dived from a higher up rock about five minutes from their starting position. In those hours, Keith forgot about being the Black Paladin. He forgot about his lingering worries over Shiro. He forgot about running from his problems. Every disappointed glare, every poisonous word, every judging glance targeted at his back he'd ever experienced dissipated into nothingness.

For a few blessed hours, he could just be a regular person holding hands with a gorgeous prince so neither of them would slip. And he loved every goddamn _second_ of it. It was glorious.

But he knew it had to end. All things did. The important part was savoring the freedom of happiness, the airy lightness akin to a bubble floating up to the surface. That bubble would eventually pop, but it would enjoy every moment it remained in this feeling. So would he.

At one point, the two of them stood nearly at the edge of the waterfall staring down at the lake underneath them. He looked to Lotor. "That's totally safe to jump down, right?"

"Yes," Lotor nodded. He looked to Keith with a raised brow. "Why? Are you considering jumping?"

"Kinda," Keith said. "...How do you feel about bets, just in case?"

"I do not mind a good challenge," Lotor confessed. "What do you have in mind?"

"We both jump down there and race back up here. Loser has to carry the winner back down the path when the winner decides to leave." He quirked up a brow. "Does that sound fair enough?"

"Depends," Lotor said with a shrug. "Are there any rules to go along with this? Or is it just a free-for-all, all's fair in love and war situation?"

If he agreed to the no-rules thing, he knew for a fact Lotor would exploit the hell out of it. It also meant he could retaliate freely, but he'd rather not take that chance. Part of him was curious to see which of them would win when neither of them could do it freely. So he shook his head pretty quickly.

"No matter what, we can't touch each other during this." The path was certainly wide enough. He was certain it wouldn't be a problem. "That's the only rule. Either of us breaking it is an automatic loss. You okay with that?"

"Those terms sound fair." Lotor looked down at the waters below. "On go, correct?"

Keith nodded and but his lip, already preparing to jump. "Yup," he said. "3..."

Lotor did the same. "2..."

His heart picked up the pace in anticipation for the near future. His focus seemed to sharpen on the churning green waters below. One thing was abundantly clear in his mind- he was determined to _win._ "1..."

For a moment, everything slowed until the line between seconds and minutes blurred considerably. Yellow and steely blue momentarily danced with white and determined purple as the two exchanged glances wracked with indecisive anticipation. Neither of them wanted to call out the starting point alone. But they seemed to come to the same point pretty quickly- they didn't have to. The next word out of their mouths was in near-perfect unison.

_"Go!"_

Without a moment of hesitation, Keith jumped off the ledge. As did Lotor. Wind whistled in his ear for about two seconds like a really short demo for Mother Nature's newest song. The lake swallowed both of them greedily, gladly accepting their presence in its chilled depths. As soon as he hit the water, he was moving. It was difficult to see Lotor in the murkier water, but he could guess pretty easily that the prince was doing the same thing.

His body went on autopilot. Most of his mind temporarily shut down to allow for his determination to take over. It sparked a new energy in him, driving him out of the water. He passed by their cruisers without a second thought and started up the path. He didn't even look to see where Lotor was. Such a thought barely even crossed his mind.

It really should have.

Because when he finally got back to the top, Lotor was _waiting_ for him. He shot Keith a teasing, smug grin. "Oh, Keith," he said, acting surprised. "I was wondering when you'd finally show up."

"Wha-" Keith blinked. He didn't even bother to hide his astonishment. "But... how?"

Lotor shrugged casually. "I know the terrain better than you do, hala." He side-eyed Keith with a smirk. "Including all of the shortcuts up the mountain."

Keith's brows furrowed in slight indignation. "That's against the-"

"My apologies for cutting in," he interrupted. "But that's not against the rules. Unless there was one about having to use the path I seemed to miss?" He glanced to Keith with a slight tilt of his head. "Was there?"

Keith opening his mouth to argue... and quickly shut it. Lotor had a point, whether he liked it or not. He really should've thought of that before all this. He finally sighed in resignation. "Point taken," he said. "I'll be more specific next time."

He almost didn't notice how Lotor's brows quirked up at that. His expression softened, dropping any and all pretenses of sarcasm. "Come on," he gestured for Keith to follow. "I..." His gaze dropped. His tone softened. "...wish to talk to you about something."

He looked at Lotor's back questioningly. He almost considered asking why, but decided not to. Doing what he was told and probably finding out why a little bit later seemed like the better idea. So he followed along, quickly moving to Lotor's side.

Lotor didn't speak. He didn't even look at Keith until they got to the blue bridge. The prince walked onto the old wooden planks like a ghost in a living being's form. He sat down on the nearly to the other side's edge cautiously. His legs floated aimlessly in the water, His fingertips gingerly traced a pattern etched in the wood out of Keith's vision.

His concern only grew at the sudden silence. This kind of silence- somber, melancholy, and likely contemplative of much darker things- didn't suit Lotor at all. Lotor's silence was warm and inviting. It made you want to speak for the sake of speaking, with an intimate knowledge of the fact that he would listen to every word that left your lips. Even better- there would be no judgement for anything you wanted to say.

This kind of silence from Lotor just felt... _wrong._ If he didn't see Lotor glance at him as he sat down beside him, he would've been convinced that the prince was under some out-of-body trance. The way that Lotor looked at him, with mute dejection rather than mirth, only increased his concern. He had to know what could make him this way so quickly.

"Lotor," Keith said. "What's wrong?" He waited a few moments. No response. Just sad eyes. "Are... you okay?" _God,_ he sucked at this. Of course Lotor wasn't okay. He just didn't know what else to say or ask to start on the path to making whatever it is better.

Luckily, he didn't have to.

"I have to go soon," Lotor told him. He reached back and took out a thin white band out of his hair, letting it flow freely. "Step back from this fantasy and... back to the real world." He sighed and slicked an especially persistent thick strand of hair out of his face. "It's full of... complicated business currently, and I just..." He gave Keith a weary smile. "Wish to thank you for this. Coming here alone wouldn't have the same effect you've been able to give me. Given my situation, words cannot describe how much I needed this and how much that means to me."

"It's no problem," Keith assured. "Really. But... can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Lotor said. "What is it?"

"I don't mind spending more time with you, trust me." Keith smiled, nudging at the prince's bare calf in a light teasing kick. "But I've told you... quite a bit about me and Voltron in general." A surprising amount, considering. "Yet I don't really know as much about you. So if you want to talk about it, why did you need this?" His brows worriedly moved to close a bit of their gap. "Is something going on with you?"

Lotor looked down at the water idly. For a few passing moments, he was completely still. His expression was unreadable. He unintentionally left Keith to dangle in uncertainty, allowed the waters of anxiety to fill his lungs and drown his mind. Did he make the right decision? Should he just have kept it to himself? Was it too late to take it back, just in case?

Lotor silenced those thoughts and drained the waters of doubt from him when he sighed. "You could say that," he said. "You remember the night we first met, correct? When I told you I was standing in for my mother, who couldn't make it to the Vrynean ball?"

Keith hummed in confirmation. He didn't dare to speak and accidentally ruin this somehow.

"I said she wasn't at her best, and..." His face fell. "I wasn't lying. A few months ago, she was diagnosed with a common disease for her people. In most cases, it was mildly inconvenient. A sore chest and aching limbs for a few days." His shoulders drew up slightly. "So when she first got it, she didn't go to see a doctor about it. There was no point to." His bottom lip started to tremble, hardly noticeable if you weren't as close or as invested in Lotor's crumbling expression as Keith was. "At least, that's what she thought."

Keith moved closer, drawing an unsure arm behind Lotor's back. Lotor leaned toward the touch.

"It was supposed to get better, but..." His eyes shimmered with threatening tears. "It never did. The rare strain she developed, it's..." He took a shuddering breath. "It... hollows the bones until they're so weak a little bit of pressure can break them and does something similar with the brain. She hasn't been able to stand in _months,_ and..." A tear escaped the confines of his eye. "When I went to help feed her yesterday, _she didn't even know who I was at first."_ His next breath shuddered again. "She forgot her own _son. For ten whole minutes."_

His heart ached for Lotor. A protective instinct in him, a _need_ to hold him and keep what was hurting him so badly, stirred. It was not an unfamiliar instinct to him, merely uncommon. He moved until he was brushing against Lotor's side. 

"As the Queen's bastard son, I'm an unofficial member of the Irikan Council." He placed his head on Keith's shoulder. "They deal with issues the Queen cannot, such as..." He wiped his forming tears away. "...Such as who must take the Queen's place on the throne once she dies. I'm not a strong candidate for the throne, considering very few have ever even heard of me, but I am still one nonetheless." He shrugged. "Which I don't really mind, honestly. I don't want the throne. Never did. But that's not the part that bothers me." 

His entire body shook as he took another shuddering breath. "The part that really shook me during all those meetings with those sniveling _basra,"_ With how his fists clenched and his voice turned to heated venom at the word, he could only assume it was a bad thing. "Was the fact that when they talked about Mother, they..." He could tell Lotor was trying hard to keep it in, but his shuddered breaths and shining eyes gave it away far too easily. "They..." His grip was slipping quickly. His next words were a sorrowful whisper. _"They talked about her like she was already dead."_

With that, Lotor let go. Sobs wracked his entire body, shaking him about like a leaf in a hurricane. "Hey," Keith softly uttered. He opened his arms to the prince. "Come here." His body was pliant to comfort, burrowing into Keith's embrace the moment it was offered. He buried his face in Keith's chest, adding saltwater to Keith's already wet t-shirt without a single damn. 

Keith didn't say anything as Lotor unabashedly let it all go in his arms. He didn't need to say anything. Just... being there for him seemed to be enough. A shoulder to cry on. A back to clench his surprisingly sharp nails into. The latter stung a bit, but it was nothing Keith couldn't handle. 

A few leaves in the canopy trees behind him rustled slightly. He glanced just in time to see a quick flash of purple light that stood out like a sore thumb among the canopy's glow. It was a little ways to his left, in a position that could probably see a sliver of Lotor's forehead. His brows furrowed. His instincts started to go haywire. Something was definitely _wrong with this._ He shifted to cover it up without disturbing the prince. 

It was a pretty good thing he did, because not even a moment later a shot cracked through the peaceful air like rolling thunder. Lotor's body tightened. A sharp pain embedded itself in Keith's shoulder quickly, making him wince at the sudden break in the peace. 

But the pain didn't stay at the forefront of his mind for long. Whoever shot that was obviously gunning for the prince. They had to get Lotor to safety _ASAP,_ before the next shot could hit its mark. 

The adrenaline rushed through his veins and made him bite down and ignore the pain for now. Instead of the 'fight' part of 'fight or flight', Keith automatically decided the latter was best right now. Mechanically, he placed one arm under Lotor's legs and picked him up as he stood. 

"What are you _doing?"_ Lotor asked. 

"You won the challenge," Keith reminded him. "I'm guessing you've decided to go now?" 

Lotor didn't respond. He just nodded quickly and curled himself into the hardest target possible while still being able to be carried. Keith didn't need much else. Lotor scooped up their stuff and kept it close to him. After another confirmation that everything was safe, Keith started to _run._

He practically _flew_ down to the path. He raced down the uneven rocks like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. More shots rang out as he ran for two lives down the mountain path. He had to zigzag a bit just to avoid them. Some came much too close for comfort, barely a hair away from scraping against his or Lotor's skin. 

"So," Keith managed to say while booking it back to their methods of escape. "Who are your friends up there?" 

"I don't know," Lotor told him. "My best guess is they're assassins hired by someone who sees me as a hindrance to their bid for the throne. In a better context, I can almost... admire their determination." 

"Well," Keith huffed. His head was starting to swim, but he could shake it off for the moment. They were a couple yards away from their ships. "Glad to know you can step back and respect the people _literally trying to kill you right now."_

"Trust me," Lotor slung Keith's towel around his neck. "I don't have _any_ respect for the brainless neanderthals who targeted me." When Keith placed him down by his cruiser, he passed the black Vrynean comm into his hands. "Thank you, hala." He opened the covering and got in quickly. "Hopefully I will see you soon." 

Keith nodded. "Stay safe, Prince." 

Lotor smiled. "You too, Paladin." With that, the cover closed. 

Keith didn't look back. He knew Lotor could get himself out and shake them off his trail just fine. So he went to and got in his own pod quickly. Whatever was in the bullet lodged in his left shoulder was starting to sap his energy. On top of the draining adrenaline, he could feel his consciousness slipping away. He had to do this fast. 

He pressed the 'return to Castle' option on the console gratefully, hoping that he could stay conscious enough to stay up for the trip back. Maybe he'd be lucky enough to give in and pass out as he got to a healing pod. 

Luck was not on his side. He barely stayed conscious enough to feel the engines thrum to life and see the pod's cover reappear. The shroud of darkness overtook his thoughts much too easily. 

Coran smiled to himself as he saw the pod flying back to the pod bay, leaning against one of the newer ones. He remembered his times at Sylemma Rock, bursts of time stolen from Alfor's busy schedule for the two of them and nothing else. It was called something else back then, but he knew of the new name from a particularly lonely and nostalgia-infected night. 

Words couldn't describe how excited he was to see Keith's reaction. Ask him a little bit about it, maybe find out some information on who he went with. Something to brighten his day after keeping his excitement in for about 4 Earth hours. He headed over to the pod as it landed back in its rightful place. His smile built as he saw the pod's cover start to dissipate. 

"So," he started. "How was-" 

His smile fell. 

What he saw- Keith's unconscious, wet, and slumped body in his seat with a bleeding wound in his left shoulder- was certainly not the reaction he'd been hoping for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> if you want to yell at me privately for that cliffhanger, find me on tumblr: squishy--squish  
> I thrive off of messages from you guys


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor visits his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another early update this week! I'm gonna be super busy on sunday and it's technically Saturday so I figured it'd be easier for everyone involved if I just released it now  
> we get lotor's pov this time!  
> enjoy!

Lotor was _seething._

He'd been having such a wonderful time at Sylemma. His memories didn't reach far back enough to grasp onto a time as joyful as this evening in many years. A time where he could completely let go for a few hours and forget about everything wrong with the Universe. A time where he could lay back, close his eyes, and fall knowing with certainty that something would be able to safely catch him.

Or, in this case, some _one._

Keith... Every moment spent in his presence, captured in his attention, would always be a truly vivid memory. Which was pretty fitting, in his humble opinion. For the Black Paladin of Voltron was a truly vivid _person._

They'd known each other personally for a short time, but he couldn't help but feel... _pulled_ toward the man in a way. What started as an initial infatuation with the idea of him started to grow once the two had actually met on that fateful evening on the Vrynean ball.

With the stories he's heard of Voltron's rise in such a short time, he knew he had to meet at least one of them. The Empress wanted an Irikan official to come to the celebratory ball anyways. So it was completing two desired things at once.

Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he'd be able to talk to a member of Team Voltron, especially not on Vrynea. They had very inquisitive and romantic souls- the perfect adoring crowd for the Paladins. Going in, he knew the most likely outcome would be a quick introduction with one of them before they got whisked off to greet more fans.

The most he got at first was a passing glance from the Princess as she and the Empress walked past him in the halls. Most of the others he'd tried speaking to were too busy to even hear him. The main rooms were too crowded for him. As a man always... uneasy in crowds, he quickly went to the nearest balcony to clear his head and cheer up his disappointed heart.

Ushara, the Creator of Fate and Circumstance, must've decided to look on him kindly in those moments. He got his wish and much more.

Keith is a special person. That much was abundantly clear before they'd met, and speaking to him only cemented that. He'd heard of the former Red Paladin's tenacity and fearlessness, but stories only managed to tell so many truths. Talking to the man of the stories expanded them beyond his wildest dreams.

Keith wasn't a flawless being- far from it- but he always meant well. He was obviously highly stressed from his new position, but he kept it to himself. If Lotor wasn't able to sample emotions with the simplest touch, that fact wouldn't have been so obvious to him. Likely because he didn't want to saddle others with his problems. If that was the case, Lotor could reluctantly relate. 

Keith was a very blunt person. He didn't keep much secret. If he had a problem with you, you would know it immediately. Maybe not in his words, but with his inflection. With every shift in his expression and every little aspect of his body language. It likely wasn't an intentional trait on his part, but it was one Lotor admired in him nonetheless. 

There were many other details about Keith that Lotor found himself admiring. Some were pretty obvious- such as the lean muscles of a finely-tuned warrior or the instincts perfect for the foundation of a legendary hero, such as protecting one from a bullet intended to kill. Others were more subtle, almost unnoticeable for one who didn't make it a point to learn how important attention to detail was years ago- like the way his voice softened with the promise of empathetic comfort or how his nose scrunched up in an adorable way when he scowled.

Someone like him was surely destined to be a universal legend, or at the very least had the utmost potential to be one. For such potential to be snuffed out like the merest flame would be a crime against history. Not to mention every person in the Universe with the slightest potential to meet him.

Luckily, he knew the likeliest culprit. The anger that rose up from even _thinking_ about them kept him from spiraling into a worried frenzy over both dilemmas he currently faced. He'd rather die than thank them face to face, but he was certainly thankful for the distraction they provided.

Lotor tapped at the security combinations on his console. He was on his way to face one dilemma, but he might as well try to address the other while he could. The circle on the screen curled around itself in an endless loop. Stuck in a cycle it could not break. Hopefully the same would never be said of him in the distant future.

Finally the circle faded away with a confirmatory dinging sound. The monotonous yet pleasant-sounding VI voice sounded from all around his small pod. _Identification confirmed._ it told him. _Stealth systems engaged._

He huffed out a sigh. Good, the systems still worked. Now he could call his 'dearest friend' up without worry about they tracking his signal to pinpoint his location. That was the absolute _last_ thing he needed right now. He had enough to deal with for the moment, thank you very little.

Unsurprisingly, they responded to his call quickly. His expression hardened as their time-haggard face popped up on the video screen. Their own lightened in vindictive mirth, which only made the anger bubbling in him heat up an extra few degrees.

"Ah, Prince Lotor," they said. "To what do I-"

"Stow it with the pleasantries," he cut off. He didn't have the time nor patience to spare for the, at the moment. "You know very well why I am calling you, so let's get this over with."

"So _rude,"_ they acted scandalized by this prospect. "I would've thought that so-called 'mother' of yours would've taught you better manners than that, dear." They quirked up a brow. "After all, we haven't communicated since you declined my rather generous offer. Why in Daibazaal's name should I know why you're calling me up now?"

Lotor's grip tightened on the controls. Many poison-dripping thoughts drifted to the tip of his tongue, but he didn't dare allow any of them to leave lest he make a bad situation worse. "My apologies," he said, not sorry in the slightest. "I forgot myself for a moment. Please forgive me for giving in to impulsiveness."

"Very well," they didn't seem convinced. "You're forgiven." He had to fight down the instinct to snicker at that. "Now, what _did_ you call me for?" Their pure yellow eyes shone in a slight curiosity, like they were studying a morbidly interesting experiment instead of him. "Have you reconsidered my offer, ma ara?"

Despite himself, his brows furrowed slightly at that. "I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that."

"And why is that?" They asked. "No matter how you try and run from it, you cannot simply _ignore_ who you are." They leaned in closer to the camera. "Who you were born to be. It will not disappear no matter how long you run from it."

"What will happen if I keep trying?" He narrowed his eyes and shot them an accusatory glare. "Are you going to keep sending _assassins_ after me?"

Their brows raised in mild surprise. "I don't know what you speak of, child." A blatant lie. One even the simplest of fools would catch onto in an instant.

"Yes you do," he said. "Do not try and tell me otherwise. I know you well enough to know when you lie." Unfortunately enough.

They gave him a questioning look. "And if I said I did? You're still conscious, so these hypothetical assassins didn't get to you. Why do you wish to know if I did?"

"If we're speaking in hypotheticals now," he said. "Then if you _were_ to send assassins after me," he cocked his head to the side. "What would you prefer they _hypothetically_ use? A sniper shot from a few yards away? Poison? Some combination of the two? Or something else? I find myself curious."

They looked at him suspiciously as he spoke. Yet once he mentioned some combination of the two, he noticed their subtle shift. Hardly noticeable to one who didn't know their tells. He had to keep himself from either smirking at their nonverbal answer or glaring because of it.

"Well," they got themselves back together in a neutral position. "If I were to send people with the intention of killing you instead of bringing you back home, I'd imagine a seemingly nonlethal long distance shot tipped with poison would suffice." They spoke as calmly as if they were describing an everyday event rather than how they'd like to have him murdered. They looked to him casually. "You're aware of the Syslopian Rakhana poison, correct?"

His fingers interlocked with each other and found a place below his thin-drawn lips as he listened. "I know of it," he said. "But it's relatively harmless, last I heard of it." He raised a brow. "Why do you bring it up now?"

They smiled at his answer. An uneasy chill rushed down his spine at the sight. That smile was _never_ a good thing. Great pain was always a shadow to that smile.

"In a way, you're correct," they admitted. "It used to be a harmless thing. But one of our scientists in the Toxicity Development branch have... _upgraded_ it to be more effective in the war. Right now, it only fully works on Sih-tarans." They shot him a knowing look. "Like you. Want to hear what it does?"

For the moment, Lotor could ignore the insult. But he wouldn't forget. Being called an 'unwanted one' or 'half-breed' was never something to take lightly. Despite this, he managed to keep his voice as even as possible. "Please. Do tell."

"Well," they started to explain. "A trend all of those like you have in common is an increased amount of adrenaline under duress and a less harsh crash afterwards. Usually that's an advantage." Another sly smile. "But the poison, once it's in your bloodstream, lies dormant unless a non-normal amount of adrenaline pumps through the system. Levels most cannot naturally achieve." The exception hung unsaid in the air. "Once the rush wears off, it moves in for a drawn-out death. Very little could save you at that point." They exhaled an almost... _admiring_ sigh. "It's a fascinating process to study, really."

Relief overpowered the horror of it. Keith would be okay. Perhaps after the issue on Irikah was dealt with, he could call the Paladin up and see how he was doing.

"...Of course," they continued. "I would only think to do so if I believed you were a lost cause for the Empire." They quirked up a brow. "You never answered my earlier question. Does that mean you are at least _considering_ my offer, Lotor?"

Lotor sighed, letting the tension drop from his body. "I will say this only once," he said, giving them a satisfied smile. "I would sooner watch nearly every person I've ever loved die before I willingly rejoined the Empire, let alone be your little second-rate replacement." He leaned in closer to the video screen, changing to a cheerful tone. His fingers floated above the end call button. "So I guess that would still leave you safe at the end of the day. Have a pleasant day." He pressed it before they had a chance to reply. _"Basra."_

He practically melted in his plush piloting chair. _Creators,_ that was so very satisfying. And now one of his pressing issues was over and dealt with. Even if the shot was poisoned, it wouldn't do a thing to Keith. He could feel a world's worth of worries dissipate from his shoulders.

Of course, that left him with a whole other world's worth of worries to deal with. But he was halfway. One was leagues better than two, in this case.

As if on cue, his comm pinged to get his attention. He picked it up from the console and opened the screen up. Acxa's worried face quickly greeted him. She sighed in relief once she saw him. "Thank the Creators," she said. "I was concerned you wouldn't pick up."

"Acxa," he said. "What's going on? Have things gotten worse?"

She hesitated. A bad sign. A _horrific_ sign. "Well... yes and no," she finally conceded. "Your mother is the same for now, but she's fading fast. You're headed back to Irikah now, right?"

"Of course," he said. "I need to land at dock Omniah, correct?" It was the most secure dock and the closest to the Queen's quarters, making it the hardest spot for reporters to effectively reach at the castle without any guards seeing them. With the current situation, he could only imagine how many must be swarming the front doors by now.

Acxa nodded. "Reporters and the like are trying to get in the castle to get the 'story' first." She rolled her eyes in disgust at them. "Bloodsuckers, the lot of them. Zethrid and Ezor have managed to fend them off in... their varying ways, but I'm not sure how long it's going to last."

"It'll last long enough," he assured. "I'm sure of it." If he knew anything about those two, it was that they excelled at crowd control. Ezor with her natural easygoing and personable attitude and Zethrid with her... more physical approach. With those two, it wasn't a question of if he could get there before any of the reporters got in. It was more of if he could manage to get to his mother before someone wound up thrown off a ledge or unknowingly robbed of everything in their pockets.

He raised a brow. "What about Narti?"

"Narti's at the escape ship." Acxa told him in a quieter tone. He could understand why. It was never an open thing to say in a castle full of nosy servants. That is, unless you wished to call attention and intrigue to yourself. He needed neither of those things connected to him right now.

His brows furrowed in slight confusion and surprise. "That wasn't a part of the plan."

"I know," Acxa shrugged. "But I figured you'd want to leave Irikah as soon as possible if things went wrong." She raised a brow. "Was that wrong to assume, my lord?"

"...No," he said honestly. "I'm just surprised I didn't think of that when we discussed the plan." He smiled at her. "Ma serrana, Acxa. And you know you don't have to call me that."

"You're welcome. And I know I don't," she shot him a slight smile. "But frankly, I don't do it because I feel obligated to. I do it because I believe you deserve the respect of your titles." 

He quirked up a brow. "Curious," he said. "You refuse not to call me by my title, yet at the same time you reject yours. Why is that?"

Acxa shrugged. "You were made for the royal life," she eventually told him. "I was not. It was something I learned long before I found out you weren't actually my bio-"

A faint voice called on her end. Her body tensed, looking over to the source. "He'll just be a few minutes! I promise, my lady!" She looked back over to him seriously. "She's fading fast, but she wants to see you before she returns to the shores. So with all due respect, my lord," her steely eyes pierced into him as an unspoken warning. "Don't make me a liar."

With that, the call ended. The video screen closed, leaving Lotor alone with his thoughts and the slightest purr of the pod's engine.

He set to work on busying his restless mind, occupying it with any menial tasks he could think of in the small pod. There wasn't much to do that he couldn't do from his seat, so he didn't get up from it. Just kept checking and rechecking little things on the console. The coordinates were right, every system was in stable condition, and he was moving at a pretty steady pace at the moment. Not too bad. 

Things could certainly be better, but they could always be worse. At least he'd be leaving this pod filled with much less worry than when he last entered it. Keith was okay, likely back to the famous Altean Castle by now with his fellow Paladin friends.

For a moment, he considered sending out a quick message. Nothing too detailed or anything, but it'd be nice to talk to somebody right now. He eyed the comm and the assumed landing timer. He had a bit of time, but that wasn't good enough. He adjusted the speed slightly. There was still a window open for him to do it, but it was closing much faster now.

Would it be strange if he sent Keith a message now? They'd just spent a pretty sizable amount of time together, so would it be too clingy if he tried contacting him less than an hour after they finally departed? Was he being selfish, trying to hoard the Paladin's valuable time while there was an entire Universe waiting for him to defend it? His brows furrowed at the thought.

He hated to admit it, but the thought made a certain kind of sense. Keith was a Paladin of Voltron- practically their _leader-_ and Lotor was just... Just...

 _Creators,_ could this thing go any faster? He likes to think of himself as a pretty patient person, but the wait was all but insufferable right now. It kept him completely alone with no one with the free time available to talk to him. If there was one thing he hated more than anything, it was this: loneliness. 

He absolutely _loathed_ being alone. It churned up old memories he'd rather keep in the void of oblivion until the end of time. Murky memories of sterile rooms harboring both cold and unforgiving metal and people somehow even more so. He didn't remember much of that time, and he didn't much care to.

After all, why dwell on the past when you can own the day you're living in?

Or, more accurately in this case, why dwell on the past disasters when there are even worse ones looming over you? Just thinking about it made his chest tight. He itched to move, speak to someone, do _anything_ but stare at the timer slowly counting down to what might be the second most life-changing event in his life.

But if he clung to Keith too much, the Paladin may well start thinking of him as an annoyance. He certainly didn't want to lose a dear friend just because he couldn't let the man have some time for himself. Especially not this _particular_ friend. He was a special one, there was no denying that. Lotor was simply fascinated by him.

Unfortunately, thinking about him might spurn a deeper desire to hear from him, so it was likely time to switch gears. He had about 10 more minutes until the pod would land on Irikah. Already he could see his late-childhood home planet in the distance.

Instead of getting too wrapped up in his smoke-thick thoughts, Lotor admired the planet. In his eyes, little else was more beautiful. He could see the faint outline of its artificial dimmed atmosphere shimmering over it all. It was thousands of years old by now, built to withstand and protect its people from the harsh rays of the extremely radioactive sun. It also made the planet extremely dark at all times, but that wasn't an issue once you were used to it.

Before they implemented the artificial atmosphere, the sun had been killing the plant life and evaporating Irikah's plentiful oceans until all that remained of some were bare as bone canyons. Manageable darkness in exchange for actually feasible living conditions seemed like a pretty fair trade-off. At least, that's how he always saw it.

Now Irikah was more beautiful than ever. The plant life had evolved to grow without needing the sun's rays, blooming with their own little lights to feed off of. They grew in clusters of assorted colors and depended on each other in order to survive. Many creatures adjusted to the darkness over a long period of time and eventually thrived in it.

The progression of Irikan culture due to this new factor was absolutely fascinating. He remembers listening to his royal tutor describe it in rapt detail. It was a struggle at first to adjust to it. Many argued against the decision to put up the artificial atmosphere in the first place. Most of them, even when given novel length essays of evidence and cold hard facts to support it, didn't even believe the sun was actually killing the planet. Such a thought was nothing but preposterous to him.

Naturally, they ended up losing in the end and had to learn to live with it. Whether they did so happily or not didn't matter a single bit to Irikah's officials at the time.

And now, Irikah had such wonderful events such as the March of a Thousand Colors and Remembrance Day, where all Irikans would gather at the nearest sea's shores to pay tribute to those who passed across the sea. Those who would greet their loved ones with open arms once they too returned to the sea.

A pang of heavy sadness weighed down his heart at the purple-tinted sight of passing through the barrier. This would likely be the last time he would be able to step on Irikan grounds ever again. Such a thought made him feel sick with pure unease. 

Once they all left Irikah, there was no real plan in place. He just had to focus on staying as far out of his ''friend's'' line of sight as humanly possible. He shuddered to think what they might do to him if they ever found out where he is. Knowing them, they'd probably make good on what he told them.

Lotor pushed that thought out of his mind quickly. That was definitely a worst-case scenario, and wasn't very likely to happen anytime soon. Thinking about the future would only mess up his mind in the present. He could start thinking of what to do in that scenario once it was a bit more likely.

Not to mention the pod was landing. He needed to get out quickly.

Lotor gathered everything of his and headed for the door. His hand was barely tracing the door's console when it shimmered open to reveal Acxa in her Irikan elite guard captain uniform. It was dark as the sky and decorated with purple and white accents, not to mention completely different from any of the others' uniforms. Theirs were honorary armors from their own home planets- something to remember them by once they joined Lotor's little group of Sih-taran outsiders and lovable misfits.

"There you are," she said, gesturing toward the archway into the bedroom hallways a few yards in front of them. "Come on, my lord." He couldn't help but notice both the traces of glittery sea sat upon her cheek and the deathly serious look in her eyes. "I'm afraid she doesn't have much time left." She held her arms out. "Go to her. I'll take your things."

Lotor stepped down onto the sleek dark chrome deck and trusted his towel and comm over to her. His glance lingered on hers. "Acxa..." He knew some of the things he wanted to say in that moment, but he didn't know what order he preferred.

_Thank you._

_Tell the others to get ready._

_I'm not certain I can do this._

But he didn't get the chance to say any of those things.

"Lotor," Acxa cut in. "It can wait until much later." She glanced over to his mother's big bedroom window, covered by a bright red curtain. The color of mourning on Irikah. "She cannot."

Lotor opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. He simply nodded and headed toward the ornate archway with light feet and a heavy heart. The walk to his mother's bedroom was short from there, a fact that he was very thankful for at the moment.

The door was dark stained glass, blues and purples blending together and melding with the ivory metal branch-like panes with infinitesimal effort. It was as beautiful as the room it protected. He was always reminded of that whenever he stepped through the threshold. Even with the current situation, he couldn't help but admire the lavishness of his mother's room for a split second.

Red traces lay about the white and gold room, a silent yet ominous warning of what was to come. The room was lighter than usual, thanks to the golden ball of light floating just above his mother's bedside table. It highlighted the sheen of her pearlescent sheets and brought a bit of color back to her paling light blue frame. 

It was already starting to glitter like particles of sea salt. Her long dark purple hair was wispy, fanning out on the pillows like a recolored halo. The process was already beginning. Lotor went immediately to her bedside.

"Mother," he kneeled beside her with concern-knit brows. "I'm here." He gingerly pressed two fingers to the junction of her neck. The pulse was very weak, but it was still there. "Please," he silently begged. Whether to her or the Creators, he wasn't sure. "Please don't go yet."

Her stormy grey eyes fluttered open slowly. She smiled at the sight of him. "It is not my time yet, child," her melodious voice was fading out, scratchy and too weak for his heart to bear. "But I fear it is coming sooner than you are prepared for."

"What can I say?" He tried to make light of the situation, albeit halfheartedly. He reached for her long bony fingers. "I need you, Mother."

She chuckled at that. Her eyes shone with pride. "No you don't," she told him softly. "You've always been a self-reliant boy. There has hardly ever been a time where you truly needed me." She smiled as warmly as basking in rays of sunlight. "But trust me. If I could, I would never leave you and Acxa alone. You two have been through too much in too little time, I would do anything to take those burdens away." Her gaze and expression fell. "I'm afraid I cannot rid you of your current problems either."

Lotor held up her hand and held it in both hands. He leaned his head down until her death-delicate knuckles barely brushed his forehead. "Karliah," he muttered in reverence. "Mistress of the inscrutable depths and what lies beyond, let this one surface as sweetly as she has been her entire life. Let her-" His hands shook. They yearned to grip and never let go in some desperate hope to anchor her to life.

It was an impossible hope, but one he still harbored nonetheless.

"Lotor," her feather-soft words were like a crack of thunder to shake his world. Her hand cupped his cheek. "My beautiful son, may I ask you something?"

His answer was immediate. "Of course, Mother. Anything you wish."

She pointed at a little dark brown grenwen hide book just underneath the ball of light. "I have finally finished writing my Rites of Departure," she looked up to him. "I would like you to read them for me."

A lump steadily rose in his throat, but he was a man of his word. This was an important part of Irikan culture, he couldn't just be selfish and deprive her of her right to hear her last written words to the world. He took the rough-covered book and flipped it to the first yellow time-weathered page. An unsteady sigh, a moment to prepare himself, and he began.

"'The Rites of Departure for Queen Xveca Von Llwyn,'" he read aloud. "'Mallorius, daughter of Honor and Mercy, sister of the one caught between Justice and Vengeance, this one's heart is pure despite every obstacle thrown in the way. Every blow landed lingers to this day, and every day I pray to make this one better in some way. Kin to a brilliant mind, this one is surely destined for an ending better than the beginning.'" He took a moment to gather himself. It was considered highly bad luck to do anything else while the Rites were not fully said.

"'When the time comes to it,'" he finally continued with a flip of a crinkled page. "'guide this one to the shore wherein the aimless wanderers find a home, the lovers never lie, and the lost ones are always found. Take these ones under your wing, and protect them as they have learned to protect each other.'"

That was the end of her Rites. Lotor looked to his mother, blinking at her in confusion. "Mother, these are supposed to be the last wishes for yourself," he said. "Why does it say 'they' and 'these ones' in the last part?"

Mother chuckled in a breathless exhale. "Vhen'hala," she whispered, moving to cradle his cheeks with unsteady hands. "Ma Kadan," _my heart_ She smiled. "Whoever said that prayer was ever for me?"

Realization hit him like a heavy dreadnought ship. He squeezed his eyes shut, leaning into the now unmoving tender touch. "You're wonderful," he chuckled to hide the tears budding like salt-infested flowers. "I-"

He stopped short. Her arm had grown uncharacteristically tense all of a sudden. A tidal wave of panic struck him violently as he opened his eyes to gaze upon his mother.

They quickly widened. 

_"No,"_ he whispered in bewilderment. _"Nonononono--"_ He clutched to the still remnant with newfound desperation in the suddenly lightless room.

A bad idea, in retrospect. But he wasn't thinking clearly. The sea salt corpse of his mother crumbled from the harsh touch into a small mound on the bedsheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise I'll tag the minor character death for this  
> next week  
> i wanna keep it a surprise for this week  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> come yell at me on my tumblr: squishy--squish


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

Keith opened his eyes to see he was floating. Immediately he could tell none of it was real- mainly 'cause his figure was a dark gray. It blended with his dark surroundings a little too well. Whatever this dreamscape was probably supposed to signify sailed over his head. All he could see was darkness.

Yet it wasn't the same darkness of Black's little flashback. He was free to move about, fully lucid and untethered by any surface. If he wanted to, he could easily hover down deeper into the darkness and see just what he could find.

The void underneath him shifted and moved about like a bird's-eye view of a busy crowd of silhouettes. If he concentrated enough, he could faintly hear a few voices. Some were even familiar to him.

_"...Wait, is that- Coran! What the quiznak happened?"_

_Allura,_ he thought idly. If he was fully conscious, he'd be very concerned at her shift in tone.

Others were not, but they still intrigued him. He hovered down.

 _"My lord,"_ a pause in the unfamiliar shade's words. _"She's gone. We have to go before it's too late."_

A sigh from another. _"I know,"_ Immediately he knew that particular voice. It was one he'd only heard a short time ago, but it felt like ages at the moment. A tidal wave of relief washed over him. _"Go get Zethrid and Ezor. I'll meet you back at the ship."_

 _"Lotor--"_ The voice was much softer now. Dulled by a tinge of empathy and grief.

 _"Go,"_ Lotor's voice was the opposite, albeit halfheartedly. It struggled with a crumbling sense of stability. _"Please."_

He barely floated above them now. It was a sea of shifting black, but one graying shade caught his attention. He followed above them in instinctual curiosity. Something about them intrigued him, pulled him along as if by an invisible string. It was certain in whatever intent it held, and he couldn't help but find himself moving closer. There was no sense of danger in the unconscious movement.

Until he heard ragged breathing from them. The whirr of machines starting up followed as closely as Keith currently was, and the unmistakable buzz of electricity firing into flesh. The shade grew a subtle bit lighter. They didn't scream, just let out a broken sob.

A warbling voice hummed in a neutral way. Like one would after finding out a kinda interesting fact, but not an outstanding one. _"Turn it off for now,"_ they instructed. _"She's ready for Miasma Integration. Take her to the processing chambers."_

In a state of piqued curiosity, he reached his hand out to them. He couldn't really explain why he did, but it was an innate pull. An unconscious _need_ to know more about whatever was apparently going on in the scenario he was a voyeur to. He was big enough to admit- he was already hooked in a morbid fascination.

But just as his fingertips would have brushed against the shade, a hand shot out from above him like the hand of god come to part the clouds. It was firm around his wrist, yanking it away from the shade. It floated out of sight quickly.

In doing so, the owner of the hand revealed themselves. Their hand was a dull lilac, more ashy gray than purple. A hooded cloak with colors scintillating and shifting like rainbow-colored fractals of light shimmered into view, covering most of their unnaturally tall frame. Their shoulders were wide and their hands were calloused, signifying one not completely unfamiliar with battle.

Yet they were gentler than he really expected them to be. They quickly let go and tsked like a disappointed parent.

 _**You really should not do that,**_ they said, voice reminiscent of the depressive emptiness growing all too familiar. _**Trust me. You are not the first shifter to try touching the drifters. You likely won't be the last.**_

That did nothing to sway his curiosity. He had a feeling there was no need to filter it wherever he was. "What did you just call me? What is this place? Who _are_ you?"

 _**A shifter,**_ they told him matter-of-factly, as if he should already know what it meant. _**One caught in the fishing net between life and death. One who could shift either way.**_ They let go of him and gestured out around them. _**This place is what your kind would likely call 'purgatory'. The middle of the ocean, where you can either sink or surface.**_ They turned their back to him. _**You have already heard my name recently, but I do not blame you for not remembering it. I am hardly remembered nowadays. But it is my job to determine whether or not you go back to living or pass through to your concept of the 'other side'.**_

Keith felt uneasiness shift in him, damping the mood considerably. He hovered to them in reluctant curiosity. If his feet could stable themselves on a floor, it'd likely be made of eggshells at the moment. Something about this... _person_ radiated an aura of heart-wrenching pain. One who'd experienced it, one who'd caused it, and one who'd seen others do either of the first two. He definitely had to be careful.

"And, uh..." If he could feel it right now, his throat would probably be dry. Or have a lump in it. Or both. _"How_ would you do that, exactly?"

They chuckled. Not a good sign at the moment.

 _**Keith,**_ their voice carried a humming second tone now. It shook his core and moved outwards to ghostly skin. The air around them tensed with an energy like music- invisible but everywhere. A chill rushed down his form. His non-physical skin somehow still managed to get goosebumps. His ears were on the frustrating threshold of popping. _**I want you to look at me.**_

Their hooded head shifted towards him.

_**Look at your face.**_

They turned to face him, voice full of power and eon-old wisdom. He barely noticed how their hand grabbed his left shoulder in the area where he'd been shot. He didn't really notice much in that moment.

Ever since they'd appeared, he hadn't really noticed their face underneath the hood. He knew he'd looked at it, but for the life of him he couldn't recall a single detail in that moment. It must've been deliberately average, completely insignificant in every way until that moment where he did as they instructed.

All he saw was a light. It gradually grew to be blinding, absorbing any and every ounce of attention he had. The darkness around him faded away from his vision, leaving only the light and the growing vibrations of his very _being._ They stemmed from one point- his left shoulder- and grew until it felt like his foundations were quaking. He couldn't feel anything else.

After what felt like an eternity, it finally faded. It was still present in him, but those were moreso faint aftershocks than anything else. He looked back to the hooded figure.

They hummed in consideration and moved their hand off of him. Dull purple closely resembling that of their skin imprinted in a cloud-like shape. It slowly expanded to overtake his entire shoulderblade, but pretty much stopped there. He didn't take much time to mull that over.

When the figure spoke again, their voice was softer. Kinder. It sounded like night rain falling on his roof in Nature's lullaby and contemplative silence given a voice. _You are lucky._ They looked right at him, but he could hardly remember that their actual face was the same color as their hands. Every other detail was too difficult to keep from slipping through the cracks. _Death is not your destiny today, Black Paladin. We shall meet again, and only then will you truly know my name._ They eyed him for a moment, then smiled jokingly. _Hopefully that will not be too soon. No one has come back twice by spiritual means._ They placed a gentle hand on his head, palm resting calmly on his forehead. _Goodbye._

With that, his vision faded. The world around him plunged into a dreamless darkness. A void not unlike the dreamscape he'd unconsciously plunged into very early this morning. Only this one didn't have an ancient energy to it or... well, anything else really. All he saw around him was pitch black like the hollows of his eyelids.

For a time, he floated around aimlessly. The darkness seemed to go on forever, and barely anything changed. Just him, growing gradually more and more restless as time of some kind trudged by with lead feet. He felt completely blind and alone.

Not that he minded it much. It was just frustrating, walking around in some comatose state with no one else for forever. Stuck with the unfortunate audience of himself. Definitely worrying the team, by what he knew of them. Or maybe they just never found him and what he heard from Allura was something else entirely.

Christ, he hated being completely abandoned by everything but his thoughts. At least in the Castle or a Lion, he could listen to the calming thrum of engines. Feel the solid ground under his feet or float among the stars knowing it was his decision to do so instead of being forced to float about.

But in here, he had nothing but the faint sound of his own heartbeat to sustain him. It became a new way to determine the passage of time. He took a step with each beat and counted along with it.

It took 15,439 beats for something to actually happen.

 _Keith,_ he heard Black's echoing call. It made his chest ache with relief. In all his life, he's never been more excited to hear someone else's voice than he was in that moment. _Wake up, cub. They still need you._ Slivers of purple grouped together shifted down a foot or so above him- an arm for each member of the team. They all reached out to him readily, almost waiting for him. _Take a hand._

Despite the slight creepiness of the visual, he gladly reached for the closest ones. He didn't give a damn how weird it probably looked to an outside view. He was _so ready_ to go back to the real world by now. The ones he didn't grab held onto his arm, working together to move him through. He couldn't let them pull him to consciousness fast enough.

Keith woke with a soft gasp. Chilly air filled his lungs. It was unexpected, but not completely unwelcome. For that just meant the air around him was _real. He_ was finally back to his real body.

Another detail to back his little theory up- his legs shook as he awoke. His body weakly swayed in place until the cover of the healing pod dissipated, opening up the rest of the room up to him. He tried stepping out only to realize his legs were too weak to hold himself up. So, like a clumsy impatient idiot, Keith succumbed to the cruel pull of gravity and fell forward.

And immediately into someone's arms. Too long to be Pidge's. Not long enough to be Lance's. Definitely not muscular enough to be Allura's. Not warm and inviting like Hunk's. They had hard little staircase-like ridges along them under long sleeves, so definitely not Coran's either.

Who the actual hell _was_ this?

His body tensed instinctively at the unfamiliar presence. If he was anywhere near his armor, he'd have already had his bayard out and activated by now. If his arms and legs didn't feel like they were being pricked with the classic pins and needles ruthlessly, he'd have at least moved away from the stranger holding him.

Luckily, he didn't have to.

Unluckily, that little bit was because whoever caught him apparently wasn't strong enough to hold him up. He was slipping to the floor quickly as they struggled to keep him up, unsure of what else to do right now.

"Oh! Uhm..." They clutched at his arms with long and skinny three fingers. Other various stammering fell out as he slowly fell out of their grasp. "S-Somebody! Hello!" They called out loudly. "Y-your friend's u-up! Pl-please come quickly!"

For a split second, Keith fell straight for the floor. His limbs felt too heavy to move, especially his left arm. He couldn't stop himself or lessen the fall if he could gather up an effort to try.

"Oh _spirits."_ He heard the stranger mutter. His arms were moved up behind him, held at the wrists by shaking hands. Whoever this person was, they certainly weren't strong. He cracked his eyes open slightly to notice his nose was barely a hair away from meeting the floor.

The next thing his gaze focused on was what he could see of whoever was trying to hold him up. From the angle he was currently in, he couldn't really see much, but that wasn't for a lack of trying. The most he could see was long and thin kinda dog-like legs, where the knees could move behind the leg rather than forward. The same hard ridges shaped the skin-tight pod suit they wore.

"Oh," They said, apparently noticing his eyes on them. "Hello-" They moved a hand off his wrist, probably to wave down at him. A quickly regrettable decision. "Wait, no--" They moved to fix their mistake, but much too late. He got way too personal with the floor in an instant.

It didn't hurt, and he didn't mind the cold metal, but it was just... unexpected. Dull pain rippled through his head, drawing a slight groan from his throat. He wrenched his hand out of the grip much too easily. 

"Sirrah," they said, voice wavering and uncertain as he moved his face off the floor. "I humbly beg for your apologies." He started to shuffle into a sitting position. It was a greater effort than he thought it would be. "As you can tell, I'm not a very strong person. Never have been, probably never will be, I am simply a researcher after all." He leaned against the nearest console and looked at them.

Their skin was shimmering and shining yellow, edging on gold in some part. Their eyes were wide and circular, and a filmy cover went over it when they blinked. If he had to compare them to an animal, they'd be a snake with their emerald eyes and slit pupils. Their nose was rounded and nubby, much like a snake's as well.

If snakes had almost-brown thin armor plates along their skin and mandibles edging both the sides of their thin lips, it'd be a near-perfect comparison. They were certainly a memorable sight. Especially for just out of the healing pod. 

They stood in place, fiddling nervously with their fingers and shifting foot to foot. "I just worked in a lab. Never really have to deal with anything like-"

Keith held up a hand to stop them. "Slow down," he said. "You don't need to tell me your life story. I'm fine. No harm, no foul." They raised a sleek golden brow at him. Apparently that wasn't an expression to them. Whatever, he didn't have the mental capacity to try and explain it right now. He looked at them questioningly. "Who are you?"

They stopped in their tracks. It took them a moment for it to really sink in. "Oh! Yes, of course," They smoothed down the armor plates atop their head nervously. "My name is Suo-miraan." They smiled down at him. "You and your team saved me back on Demetha."

His brows furrowed. "You were the one in the Robeast?"

Suo-miraan nodded and looked at him gratefully. "Yes," they said. "I was only on Demetha for supplies. My colony has been working on figuring out how exactly the Empire has been able to turn people into those creatures. We hope to find out how it works so we can hopefully find out how to reverse the process." They shrugged. "I guess the Galra got word of it."

Those answers only raised many more questions. Mostly just for the sake of curiosity. He wasn't much for mechanics and stuff, but it was an... _interesting_ prospect. Robeasts were one of the strongest weapons the Galra had at their disposal. If they could reverse that process, maybe see if whoever they saved was up for joining the coalition, it would save a lot of good people's lives. People like Ulaz.

But before he could even _start_ to ask any of them, the door to the medbay opened with a soft airy sound. The entire team stood behind it, with a bit disheveled-looking Coran at the front. Kinda like he ran all throughout the Castle to get everyone else together. If that was really the case, he was... kinda impressed. Not to mention honored that someone would do something like that for him. 'If' was the keyword here.

It was like seeing him up and about flicked up all their switches. He could see their expressions change to ones of joy, and barely a second afterwards he was crowded by the team. Hunk extended a hand to him, and he gladly took it.

Once he was standing, Hunk didn't let go of his hand. Instead he pulled Keith into one of his signature 'Heavenly Hunk Hugs', affectionately named by Lance. Not that he could blame him- Hunk's hugs felt like sunshine and security wrapped in one simple action. It felt like what he imagined true love in storybooks and fairy tales to- constant warmth, supporting strength, and the unintentional addition of the strange thick scent of Altean machine oil that somehow managed to smell _amazing_ every time.

"I missed you, man." Hunk said, voice wavering ever so slightly. "You had me _so scared_ for a moment there."

He smiled, forcing his instinctively tense body to relax under the contact. _This was fine,_ he had to convince himself. _He's not going to hurt you. None of them are._ "Aw," he couldn't help but say. "I missed you guys t-"

The feeling of thinner, yet probably a bit stronger, arms wrapping themselves from his back to Hunk's sides interrupted his train of thought. Allura pushed his body towards Hunk slightly, making a weird Keith hug-sandwich. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "I second that concern," she told him. "You cannot _imagine_ how all of us felt when you came back to the Castle."

Coran was next. He didn't say a single word, but Keith could feel a bit of dampness soak into the fabric of the pod suit where he buried his face. It spoke a million words.

Pidge hugged his open left side carefully, like they were concerned the skin there was sore or something. They looked up to him with a teasing smile but slightly darker eyebags than they had last he saw them. "Well," they said. "I'm glad you're not dead, _dumbass."_

He chuckled and positioned a hand on top of their head. "Trust me," he said, ruffling at their hair like Shiro used to do to him. "So am I."

"You know, this little group hug doesn't feel right yet," Hunk cracked an eye open to glance over to Lance. "Wanna fix that, bro?"

Keith looked over to see Lance standing away from the group. He shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, looking down to the floor and pulling down at his shirt sleeves with a very un-Lance-like expression. It quickly melted away once attention was called to it, but he'd still noticed it.

Lance's brows raised. "Oh," he smiled halfheartedly. "Nah, man. I'm fine. I just..." He shrugged. "It's stupid. But I'm good, I'll just stay over here."

"Whatever it is," The words were out of Keith's mouth before he could really think about them. "You don't need to tell us about them now... or ever, if you're not up to it." He gestured for him to come closer. "But you're a member of the team too." He smiled teasingly. "So get your flat ass over here and join in on the group hug, Rosales."

Lance looked at him in fake offense. "Excuse you, _Kogane,"_ he put a hand to his chest. "My ass is _not_ flat, thank you very much."

"Lance, I love you," Hunk said. "But your ass is pretty flat."

In response, Lance gasped loudly and stumbled back. Half-falling into a surprised-looking Suo-miraan, who apparently learned from their mistake in holding someone up. "Et tú, Hunk?" He cried dramatically. "I am dying from something worse than death-" The hand not at his chest found a resting place on his forehead. The next word was a faux-dying whisper. _"Betrayal."_ He audibly exhaled and went limp.

He didn't stay that way for long, considering how Suo-miraan struggled to hold his body up. He glanced to the group to see their opinions.

Coran chuckled. It was a quiet one, but Keith could feel it more than hear it. That was good enough for him right now, and Lance deserved a little credit for that.

So Keith started to clap. Allura joined in first, Hunk riding on her coattails.

"One of your better scenes," Hunk commented. "Especially at the end. You nailed it."

"Truly inspired," Allura told him. "You'd put Altea's finest actors to shame, truly." Her voice held a hint of sarcasm- not the mean-spirited kind, but the joking kind. He was learning to tell the difference.

Lance beamed like a newborn sun at that. They got him into a good mood- now was the time to strike.

"That was pretty good," Keith admitted. "Now get over here and have a bonding moment with us, drama king." He shot Lance a teasing grin. "I hope you don't 'forget' it this time."

Lance snickered and rolled his eyes, but walked closer to the huddled group. Close enough to be in Pidge's reach. Keith looked down and met their eyes. They didn't need any words to express what both of them were thinking.

Like a tiny bolt of lightning, Pidge's arm shot out to grab at Lance's own. The sudden grip pulled him closer with a slight exclamation of surprise. Hunk, somehow in on it without a single signal, moved one arm off Keith to keep him in their trap of warmth and support. Now the entire team was in on it.

Keith wasn't much for longer hugs- he didn't like most people touching him in general. But these people were obviously different. They started out as near strangers to him, but after a little over a year or so... Something had changed between all of them. They weren't merely a team or a ragtag group of misfits stuck in space together. They were a supportive group of cracked, but not breaking, friends. He might even go so far to say 'family' soon enough. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Y-You know," Suo-miraan said. "All o-of you are very st-strange."

He couldn't help but agree with that statement. A few months ago, he definitely would've been in their place, standing outside looking in on the hug. Crossing his arms and probably shaking his head at the unnecessary length of it. Not even Shiro would've convinced him to join in.

Now he was in the center of it, and he didn't mind it a single bit. 

After everything all of them had been through together? They deserved to indulge in a little strangeness, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith finding a family in team voltron is my kink tbh  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both sides (Team Voltron and Keith) tell each other what happened.
> 
> Also, two characters important to Keith meet for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boi this chapter ran the fuck away from me  
> it's the longest chapter yet, mainly cause i had fall break this week  
> it's mostly dialogue sorry there's a few gaps to fill  
> enjoy!

"Alright," Allura started, sitting at the head of the dining room table a few seats away from him. "Forgive my straightforwardness, but it's a question we've all wanted to know the answer to since you came back to the Castle." She leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table and honing her razor-sharp focus on him. "What happened out there?"

Keith shifted in his own seat. Her icy crystal eyes could probably drill holes into him. An... actually pretty decent smell of cooking food wafted through the air from the kitchen, something about Coran 'wanting to celebrate this special occasion' or something like that. Honestly, almost everything that happened after the group hug was a hazy blur of careful words and comforting touches.

Hunk looked over to Allura nervously from his seat next to her. "Princess," he said. "Not to butt in, but maybe we should give him some more time to adjust before we just start grilling him for information?"

Keith stayed silent, watching the discussion like a game of tennis. He didn't really know how to cut into it yet. It would probably just be easier to wait until they remembered the one they were talking about was in the same room as them and give him an opening.

"I will not be grilling him," she told him matter-of-factly. "I'm simply asking out of concern for his well being."

His growing discomfort hid itself as annoyance. An annoyance that very quickly started to simmer. Nothing severe, just mild. He tapped at the table to try and distract himself. Maybe the sound would help them remember him.

The metaphorical tennis ball flew to Hunk's side, sailing through the air to include Lance in it now. Considering Coran was in the kitchen and Suo-miraan and Pidge were talking in the hallway, now everyone in the room was in on the growing discussion. Everyone but Keith.

Lance raised a brow. "You sure about that?" He asked. "'Cause you look like you're gonna interrogate him right now. He doesn't need that, Allura."

Keith's brows furrowed slightly.

"He didn't need a poisoned bullet in him either," she looked to Lance coldly. "Or a dance with death because of it. I want to know what happened so it doesn't happen again. He-"

 _"Enough!"_ He finally cut in with a slammed fist against the pristine Altean metal. _"He_ can speak for himself, thank you very much." He stopped for a moment. Their surprised expressions and tense shoulders finally registered in his mind and calmed the flickering flame of annoyance. He sighed. "Sorry, guys. It's just..." He forced his body to relax. "Please don't talk about me like I'm not here, okay?"

Allura recomposed herself the quickest. Her expression was softer this time. "My apologies," she said, tucking a loose strand of hair from her bun behind her ear. "I forgot myself for a moment there." She looked to him questioningly. "Keith, what happened after you left Black's hangar? Anything unusual or out of the ordinary for you?" The other two pairs of eyes focused on him after the question was in the free air.

Keith considered the question for a few moments. He could always lie, but what would that accomplish? In order to keep the strong bond required for Voltron, there had to be a foundation of trust. He knew that he could trust the team, so why in the universe was he hesitating? As Shiro once told him- trust was a two-way street in order to work effectively.

And yet here he was, hesitating. How would they react to Lotor? There was no way to tell the truth without either including him or vaguely talking about him. The latter would only invite more questions. They might assume the worst about him and unintentionally make him question everything he knew about the prince. He couldn't place a finger on it, but there was... _something_ between them. It was special, and he didn't want to risk ruining it in any way.

But that was just selfish of him, right? Hoarding possibly important information like it was some kind of illicit secret. Running from the truth like he was back to being a child. Sure, the things he was worrying about might be true. Then again, if they _were_ true, he should find out as soon as possible to avoid getting hurt. He trusted them, and he...

He... actually trusted Lotor. It was a kind of terrifying thought, considering how they only met about... two weeks ago? Maybe longer? How long had he been in the healing pod?

A new thought dawned on him.

"Can I ask you guys something first?"

Allura nodded. "Of course."

He tried not to let his growing anxiety shine through. He needed to stay calm right now. Nothing would get done if he just started freaking out right now. "How long have I been in the healing pods for?"

A hush fell over the room. The three other Paladins glanced to and from each other, likely mentally debating which one of them should answer Keith's question. The sight of it only made a stone sink low in his stomach. He knew in an instant he wouldn't like whatever answer was in store for him.

Lance looked to him and mumbled something.

"Sorry," Keith said, leaning forward. "What was that?"

Hunk kept his eyes to the floor. "You've been out of action for a _week."_ He didn't stop there. "Pidge, Coran, and I had to devise a last-second upgrade to make the healing process in the pods faster to keep you alive." He looked up to Keith sadly. "You were clinically dead by the time we got you in there. Your heartbeat was still for five whole minutes before it started up again."

Keith's heart felt like it stopped. Again, considering what Hunk had just told him. His chest felt painstakingly tight. No wonder they'd been so excited to see him alive and awake again.

"It was..." Lance hesitated. "...Not a fun week, for any of us." He shrugged, giving Keith a halfhearted teasing grin. "'Course, can't give you _too much credit,_ mójol. It was a pretty bad week for a lotta reasons, but..." His grin fell. "You were the main one."

His brows furrowed in concern. "Really?" He couldn't help but ask. "What else happened while I was out?"

"Well," Allura started. "For starters, a few of Demetha's more..." She hesitated to find the right words. _"...Radical_ citizens didn't approve of our occupation on their planet. It had apparently been building for a long while, but our presence cause tensions to boil over." Her eyes went out of focus for a moment. Judging by the shift in her expression, the memories weren't happy ones.

"During the second diplomatic meeting," Hunk picked up where she left off, looking no more happy about it. "The 'rebels' attacked the capital building- the big tower the Robeast had been attacking."

Lance continued along. "There's this huge explosion, and then a bunch of Galra fighters flew out of the canopy and started attacking." He looked to Keith. "Black and Blue were freaking out, but Black wouldn't let anyone in to pilot her. Blue allowed Coran to fly her for a little while to help out with the attack." His eyes became out of focus and distant- like he was reliving it too- for a moment. "It was... _chaos._ The capital building crumbled before any of us could stop it, and..."

"... I was one of the few people to make it out." Allura didn't look at him. Didn't look at any of them, really. Just stared ahead at the wall in front of her with a haunted voice and glassy eyes glistening with threatening tears. "Two hundred people were in that building. Most of them stayed behind to hold up the crumbling infrastructure and buy us time." Her head turned toward Keith. Her eyes were pointed at him, but they still saw the past. "Guess how many made it out with me?"

Keith's shoulders tensed. He had no idea what to say to make this better. A gigantic part of him regretted even bringing it up. "...How many?"

"Nine," she said, coming back into the present. "Including the Head Senator. None of us got out scot-free, either." She moved her right sleeve down and showed him the palm of her hand. A long jagged scar greeted him, starting right underneath her knuckle and slanting sideways till just below her wrist. "I got this holding the exit for those behind me who could make it."

"That wasn't a fun day for any of us," Hunk said. "Mainly 'cause we had to seek out the rest of the 'rebel' forces. There weren't many left after the capital attack, so it was a pretty easy fight." He rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. "I felt... kinda bad about it, honestly."

"You shouldn't," Allura told him automatically. "They were a classic case 10,000 years ago- Empire controlled terrorists with nothing to lose. No families to speak of, no regrets, and no qualms with committing treason or murder of any degree. If we left them unchecked, they could have done much worse to many more people." Her jaw set, brows furrowed in indignation. "I don't say this much, or very lightly, but they deserved to die."

"You know," Lance looked at her with concern. "I still don't understand how you can be so... _detached_ about this."

"It's quite easy, Lance," she told him casually. "I have to be. We have very few allies in the galaxy and can't afford any measure of failure at the moment. In the worst cases, I try to step back from it all." She shrugged. "Look at everything through the eyes of the spirits, you might say." She snuck a glance at Keith. "Especially if one of your closest friends may have joined them."

"...Holy _crow,"_ Lance's eyes widened, brows raised in surprise. "Way to balance 'military commander' and 'creepy cult leader' there, Princess."

Allura smiled halfheartedly. "It's better than closing your eyes and seeing every face you passed by as you escaped, knowing they wouldn't." And just like that, her mind was elsewhere again. "Hearing every word of encouragement from voices permanently silenced everywhere but your dreams. Subjecting yourself to hours of lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, too busy wondering what you could have possibly done differently to make things better to even bother with sleep."

Keith's brows rose more and more as she spoke. A hollow ache struck at his chest in response to her words. They resonated with him _so much-_ not to that high of a degree or for that extreme of a reason, but he knew the exact feelings she described. Felt them too many times to truly count. Mainly during the year in his dad's old shack.

Those feelings _sucked major ass._ He wasn't much for comforting people, but in this case he felt an innate need to try. But he didn't want to make it seem like it was all about him, so trying at empathy right off the bat wouldn't be the best idea. Maybe he could try a more logical approach?

"Allura," he said evenly, calming himself to the best of his ability. He ignored Hunk and Lance's questioning expressions at his reaction. "Did you have any way of knowing the attack was coming?"

She looked to him, brows furrowed in slight surprise. Her mind was back in the present. "What?"

"Did you have any way of knowing the attack was coming?" He repeated, a bit slower this time. Not condescending, just trying to make it clearer in case she actually didn't hear him.

"Of course not," she told him honestly. "There was no way to predict something like that would happen."

He saw realization dawn on Hunk's face. He knew what Keith was doing.

"And did you or did you not do everything you could think of to save as many people as you possibly could?" Keith continued. Realization on Lance's face was slowly rising. Neither of them said anything, enraptured by what they knew was happening now. Hunk was hiding a smile under his knuckles.

Allura looked slightly hurt. "Are you insinuating I wouldn't?" He regretted insulting her, but there was no way to fix that save for continuing on his current path. "Because believe me, I did anything that was in my power."

Keith smiled. "Then why worry about it now?"

Her brows furrowed. "Care to elaborate that?"

"You said so yourself, Princess," he told her matter-of-factly. "You had no way of knowing an attack would happen. And once it _did_ happen, you did all you could to save as many people as you could." He shrugged. "Sure, you didn't save many. But you were only one person in a terrible situation, Allura. The fact that you saved anyone at all is a miracle." 

His smile grew as she looked down at the table. "And unless Alteans somehow invented time travel, there's no way of going back and redoing any of it. So why let something you can't change haunt you..." He leaned forward and continued with a raised brow. "When you can harness and use it to drive you in the fight against the Empire instead? Let those quiznakers _pay_ for every tick of sorrow inflicted on the universe."

He leaned back in his seat. Three pairs of wide eyes stayed on him. "What?" He said.

"I..." Allura tried to compose herself first. It contained a pretty surprising amount of blinking. "I just..." She visibly struggled to find the right words to express what was on her mind. After a few seconds, she settled on the reaction that seemed to feel right. She let out a slight airy chuckle. "Thank you, Keith." She smiled at him. "That's... really good advice."

"Yeah," Lance stood up from his seat and strode over to Keith's spot. Blue eyes looked over him suspiciously. "It was pretty good advice."

"Uh..." Keith raised a brow. "Thank... you?" What are you-"

What he was going to say was interrupted by Lance grabbing hold of his pod suit and pulling him closer. _"Too_ good, you might say." He glared at Keith. "You were pretty convincing there, but you can't fool me any more now." His brows furrowed. "Who are you? What have you done to the real Keith?" His eyes narrowed. "How did you get your mullet so convincingly ugly without hating yourself?"

He... really wasn't sure if this was another act from Lance, or a serious accusation. He had no idea how to react to it if it was an unsure case. Sure, he had to take an improv theatre class his freshman year of high school, but anything that could help him right now was gone in a flash.

Lance's eyes wandered slightly, likely scanning him mentally for any signs of him being a clone or something. They paused at the peek of skin the suit allowed- namely at his left shoulder. In an instant, the bad cop act dropped off the face of the earth. The hard mask crumbled to ashes to make way for sincere concern.

"Holy _shit,"_ Lance whispered. He looked back into Keith's eyes with his own wide and shocked. "That wasn't there when we put you in the pod suit."

Keith's brows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?" Lance didn't answer, just gestured to the spot he found. He tugged on the suit a little bit more to make it easier for Keith to see.

His eyes widened when he found just what Lance had meant.

His left shoulder was a pale lilac now, blending with the white skin underneath a bit too well. A scar was in the middle of it all, like the eye of a storm. But it wasn't at the point where he'd gotten shot. The bullet wound was nowhere to be seen now. Instead, he got a pure white symbol ingrained into him. It was elegant, yet looked natural upon him, like a more striking (and more than a bit unsettling) look at his veins through his skin.

Lance let go. "I'm so sorry about that, man," he said. "I was just messing with you. I wasn't expecting..." He looked shaken from it all.

Keith halfheartedly smiled. "It's fine," he assured. "You had no idea that would happen. I'm okay." He looked over to Hunk and Allura as Lance went back to his seat. "Something must've happened while I was in the healing pod," he explained. "My left shoulder's purple. There's a white scar in the middle of it."

Hunk's brows furrowed. "Is it from the bullet?" His expression grew more and more worried as he continued. "Are you feeling sick at all? Lightheaded? Queasy? You can still hear and see okay, right?" By the end, he looked wholly freaked out. _"Right?_ 'Cause you know, we're all friends here. You can tell any of us if you feel any of those things at all. We-"

"Hunk," Allura placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please. Breathe." She looked to Keith as he started to hyperventilate. Lance moved in with practiced expertise. He slid a glass of water over to him with and, judging by how his mouth moved, muttered reassurances to him as the Princess spoke calmly. "Do you know if it has anything to do with what happened? Can you remember anything that could connect to this sudden strange appearance?"

Keith tried to remember anything past passing out that could possibly fill in the blanks. Yet very little was coming up in his memory.

"Kinda?" He told her honestly. "I'm not really sure. Nothing comes up that could've caused this before I got shot and after..." He trailed off and eventually shrugged. "It's all kind of... fuzzy. I can't remember anything for sure."

It was like trying to remember a dream you had after you woke up. There were vague little details left over in your memory, but none of it fit together to help put the puzzle together. For example, he remembered something about an ocean and dim grayish purple. The metaphorical water wasn't that color, he knew that much, but anything else to help explain it was long gone by now.

All he was left with was a mark of some kind. It was probably important somehow, or at least finding out the origins of it was, but he suddenly found that he couldn't really concentrate on where to start. Or anything else that didn't relate to the heavenly smell that wafted from in the room coming from the kitchen.

Only when that was brought to his attention did something related to it soon follow- the emptiness in his stomach. It whined with a groan, audible and _loud,_ at the sudden promise of eating soon. The healing pods only nourished those inside enough so they wouldn't starve, so he'd barely had anything to run on for a full _week._

And that was certainly showing itself now. His hunger quickly took to the forefront of his mind, ignoring everything else but the idea of fulfilling that need. Not to mention it smelled amazing compared to the crap Coran usually cooked.

Nobody else at the table looked as excited as he felt- hell, they looked outright _disgusted_ by the new scent- but he couldn't find it in himself to give a single damn. He could hear Hunk talking, but his mind couldn't process what he was actually saying at the moment. Right now, all his mind was probably doing was banging it's metaphorical fists on a table and chanting _FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD_ over and over again.

It practically threw a party in celebration once the kitchen door opened, revealing Coran holding a pretty big plate of some kind of gray mystery meat roughly the size of his torso. He wore a white apron and gloves with the Voltron insignia tinged with small assorted specks of greenish-blue blood. Steam wafted from the mystery meat slab and only made the smell intensify. Hunk looked like he was going to be sick as the plate was placed in front of Keith.

"There you go," Coran said. "Had some leftover Daibazaalan schvuylr in the freezers. A Galran delicacy." He looked up at the older Altean to be greeted with a smile. "I was saving it for a special occasion, and I figured you'd be hungry, so..." Coran gestured to the food and slid over a fork and knife. "What's the phrase?" Realization quickly dawned on him. "Oh, right! 'Dig in.'"

Keith didn't need to be told twice. Honestly, he kind of blacked out after looking back down at his plate.

When he came back from whatever mindless state he was thrust into, Pidge and Suo-miraan were at the table. Both stared at him like he'd suddenly grown a third arm in the middle of his forehead. Allura and Lance had casual surprise, contrasting the horror on Hunk's expression. Coran was beaming with excitement. Keith looked down at the remains.

The sight of a clean ribcage greeted him. No blood, no leftover little pieces clinging to it, just... black bare bones on a plate that used to have a piece of meat bigger than his head on it. He put his utensils down and glanced at the floor in embarrassment. "Can someone hand me a napkin, please?" He asked.

Hunk shakily slid his over. Keith took it with a nod as thanks and wiped anything that might have gotten on his face.

An awkward silence settled in the room. Without even looking, he knew they were all looking to and from each other, wondering how to change the subject to something more suitable than judging him. He wrung his borrowed napkin underneath the table. He'd gotten a sense for this kind of thing, like how a dog senses a hurricane.

Coran was the one who ended up shattering the silence in the most surprising way- laughter. Allura was quick to join in on it.

He looked to them, just like everyone else did. Their laughter wasn't mean-spirited. That much was evident by their expressions. But confusion couldn't help but bubble up in a frenzy at the unexpected turn of events.

"Guys," he spoke up. "What's so funny?"

"Oh _spirits,"_ Allura managed, stifling her laughter pretty quickly. "That's got to be the fastest anyone's _ever_ scarfed down a schvuylr leg." She looked to Coran. "Am I right?"

That was a _leg?!_ Keith couldn't help but wonder what the rest of this thing looked like, in that case.

On second thought, probably not. It would probably give him nightmares.

Coran nodded. "My boy," he looked to Keith proudly. "You'd give Zarkon a run for his money in that aspect easily." He raised a brow. "So I'm guessing you liked it? Did it seem overcooked at all?"

"Uh..." He didn't really remember. But he ate the whole thing, so it couldn't have been too bad. "Yeah. It was perfect." He smiled at Coran. "Thank you."

His grin only grew. The tired frazzled look in his eyes from earlier was completely gone now. Instead, the usual peppy glow was back. Keith usually considered that attitude a bit annoying at times, but now that he knew the alternative, he was glad to see it was back. It fit Coran _so much better._

Pidge was next to fill the temporary silence. They cleared their throat to call attention to themselves. Once all eyes were on them, they held up Keith's Vrynean comm. "...Anyways, Keith," they looked to him. "You probably want this back."

Keith nodded. Pidge slid it over to him with ease. He looked to them with a raised brow. "Why were you looking through my comm in the first place?" He quickly added a follow-up once he saw the slightly nervous glances. "I'm not mad at all, I'm just... curious." 

"Well," Pidge started. "When Coran found your body in the pod bay, your comm was one of the only things you had around you that could point us in any direction. We figured if there were hints toward what happened, that's where they would be. Only problem was, everything was taking too long to decipher properly. We didn't wanna destroy any data of your personal stuff." They gestured over to Suo-miraan. "Once Suo here woke up, though... They helped speed up the process quite a bit."

Suo-miraan looked away bashfully. "Y-you flatter m-me n-needless-ssly." Their mandibles twitched on and away from their face in what he assumed was embarrassment. "Y-you all c-could have figured it out w-without m-me." They shrugged. "A-all I h-had on a-any of y-you guys was experience, r-really."

"Really?" Keith asked. "What kind of experience?"

"I-it's boring s-stuff," they chuckled nervously. "The l-labs I work at use a-a _lot_ o-of Vrynean t-technologies, s-so w-we were all trained h-how to h-handle a-all the d-delicate pieces prop-properly."

"Ah," he said. "So did you guys find anything suspicious?"

"Not really," Hunk told him. "But I do have a question for you, if you don't mind me asking it." He looked right at Keith. "It's one Pidge apparently asked before, but I think the answer's gonna be a bit different this time."

 _Oh no._ His stomach churned with dread.

He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"I don't mean to pry into your personal business," Hunk said. "But you pretty much died and now you have a weird unexplained mark on your shoulder, so I gotta be sure." He raised a brow. "Who's 'Prince Lotor'?"

Whoop, there it was. Keith very quickly regretted being right.

His throat immediately parched as he struggled for the right words to say. He wanted to say the whole truth, but right now even _he_ didn't understand who Lotor was to him.

He'd never experienced anything like what they had before. Did he _really_ like Lotor, or did he just like the concept of him? A person he empathized with deeply, deeper than anyone else in his life. A patient, calm, kind, yet withdrawn person with his own underlying issues? Was the appeal of Lotor in just the fact that he seemed to like Keith for who he was? Did he _really_ like Lotor in a special way, or was he just too lonely to realize that what they had was just a run-of-the-mill close friendship, like what Lance and Hunk have? Was he blowing things way out of proportion after a fairly simple question?

Keith had no fucking clue. And that terrified him to no end.

"He's a friend of mine," Keith went with the bare minimum of facts. Those were a good foundation right now. Sturdy. He didn't want to lie to the team, after all. "We haven't known each other too long, though. We met alone on the balcony at the Vrynean ball. We both needed some time away from the crowds, and..." He shrugged. "He was the one to give this to me." He held up his comm.

 _"Aww,"_ He heard Suo-miraan mutter. "That's adorable."

"Typical," Lance said with a teasing roll of his eyes and looked to Hunk. "I try at nearly any I meet, and get nada. Keith probably didn't even try to, and he _still_ manages to get with an alien before I do."

Keith's brows furrowed. "We're not together," he said. "It's not like that. We're just pretty close friends, that's all."

 _"Riiiight,"_ Lance looked to him with a raised brow. "Lemme guess- you've talked a bit, got to know each other, and..." He snapped a few times rapidly, probably thinking up of the first thing that sounded ridiculous enough. "...you guys met up alone the night you got shot."

It felt like his heart stopped. His body locked up. He focused down on his plate to avoid seeing their reactions.

Pidge snickered. "Right," they said jokingly. "Like _Keith,_ out of all of us, would trust going out alone with anyone for any reason without some serious firepower." They probably looked to him. "Right, Kei...?" They trailed off.

He didn't move his gaze up. He knew the exact expressions he'd see if he did.

"Oh my god," He heard Hunk speak up first. "Oh my _god,_ you _didn't."_

Keith nodded in slight confirmation. "I did."

"Oh my god!" Lance cried in disbelief. "I was _joking! Why_ in the _world_ would you do that?" The slight muffle to his voice now indicated his face was probably in his hands from secondhand embarrassment. "Out of all the things to follow my example on, that is _not_ one of them!"

"Did you tell him anything about Voltron?" Pidge asked.

Keith shook his head.

They started to ask another question, but they were quickly interrupted.

"Wait," Allura's voice was calm, but deathly serious. "Do you remember if he was the one who shot you or not?"

Keith looked up at her. She had enveloped her diplomat persona, calm and cool and unphased by it all. Her eyes and tightly clenched hands lying on the table were the only things that revealed the worried storm swirling inside her. 

"No," he said truthfully. "He didn't shoot me. In fact, I..." He rubbed at the back of his neck a bit sheepishly. "I think the shot was meant for him. I was holding him, and saw a sniper in the trees, and I..." He gestured to his left shoulder. "Blocked the shot the only way I could think how."

Suo-miraan raised a brow. "Do you all usually talk about getting shot at so.... _casually?"_

Pretty much everyone else at the table nodded. Keith included.

"It's a pretty normal thing for us now," Pidge told them. "As weird as that probably sounds."

"Pretty much routine for us now," Hunk said and gestured over to Lance. "He once nearly got blown up." He shrugged. "Near-death experiences aren't really something we usually freak out over anymore." He gestured to Keith. _"Actual_ death experiences, though? That's pretty new for us."

"...Ah," Suo-miraan sounded unsure, but they probably didn't know anything else to say about it. "Please continue, Black Paladin."

"I don't know what else I'm supposed to say," Keith told them all. "Lotor invited me out to a favorite place of his on Demetha. We both needed a break and I had nothing else to do, so I agreed to it." He gestured to Coran. "Coran was the first person I found as I was heading out, so I told him where I was going. I took a pod out. We met up, hung out for a few hours, and I got shot. We ran. I passed out on the way back and everything else is a blur. Cut and dry," he turned on his comm. "End of..." He looked down at the screen and his face fell. "...story."

 _{Prince Lotor (??who??)}_ it read. _15 missed calls._

_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} 32 new messages._

A small button was right next to it, asking him in chipper white lettering, _Read now?_

Reluctantly, he clicked on the button.

The first few messages were pretty casual, such as- _I understand. You're likely busy on Voltron business. Call me when you're able to._ Most of those types were from 6 or 5 days ago. 4 days ago, they slowly downturned and became more and more desperate without trying to sound that way.

The most recent ones were sent about an hour and a half ago. Just before he woke up from the healing pod.

_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} Are you dead?_  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} ...On second thought, that was a dumb thing to ask. As if you'd respond to tell me that you have indeed passed away. Raas von-mir Amus, I suppose. My apologies._  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} I sincerely apologize for bothering you so much, but I just wish to hear from you. It doesn't have to be a call or long message if you're busy. It could just be a single word for all I care at the moment, but... please._  
_{Prince Lotor (??who??)} Please let me know if you're alive._

Keith's heart sank, weighed down by involuntary guilt, as he finished reading. God, he couldn't even imagine how that must have felt. Knowing someone took a bullet for you the last time you saw them, and then not hearing anything from them for a full _week._ At least his goodbyes with Shiro were positive before he up and disappeared without a damn trace.

He looked back up to the others. They all pretty much had the same expression- concerningly quizzical. Pidge was the first one to speak up.

"Let me guess," they started. "Lotor freaked out and wants to hear from you to know you're not dead... or something worse."

"Right on the nose," Keith told them. He looked to the others at the table. "Is there anything else I should know before I go?" He raised a brow. "Our next order of business? Do we even have one right now?"

Allura nodded understandingly. "As a matter of fact," she said, trying to hide a smile. "We do have a next order of business. The people of Demetha can't quite openly join the coalition just yet, seeing as the Galra are keeping a close eye on them. But they _did_ give us a lead." She raised a brow at him. "Do you know how to dance, Keith?"

"...No?" He answered with uncertainty. A sudden bad feeling was crawling up on him at the question. "Why do you ask?"

"'Cause we're going to the annual Two-Moon Ball on Etme!" Coran cut in excitedly before Allura could even start to respond to his question. "They're all for constant closeness and creative expression, so it's very likely you're all going to have to learn quickly!"

"They're a pretty neutral planet, so a lot of diplomatic representatives are going to be there," Suo-miraan piped up. "I'm still here 'cause my colony wants representation there too, and..." They gestured to all of them with a shrug. "You all are going there anyways, so..." They looked over to see a slightly-annoyed Allura and quickly quieted down. "...yeah."

"...In fact," Allura continued after a moment. "Tomorrow is dedicated to team bonding for that reason. Etmeans are _highly_ skilled warriors and are capable of building mechanical constructs unlike any other, so it's _imperative_ that we show them how we can understand their interests more than the Galra ever could." She nodded in his direction and gestured to the nearest door. "That is all."

Keith tried his best not to groan with dread at that. _"Great,"_ he couldn't help but mutter to himself as he stood from his seat. "See you guys then, I guess." He headed for the door quickly.

"Hey Keith!" Lance called after him. "After you go talk to your boyfriend, you should probably head to Black's hangar. Her particle barrier's been up since you got back."

"I was already planning on it," Keith called back. The door slid open for him. "And he's _not_ my boyfriend!"

Lance snickered. "Sure he's not," he said mockingly. "Just like I'm 'not a fighter pilot', right?"

Keith opened his mouth to give a biting comeback, then promptly shut it. This conversation was quickly turning into a minefield. One wrong step, or word in this case, and an explosive argument would definitely break out. He didn't want to ruin the teasing but close friendship he was slowly developing with Lance. So the best thing to do right now was back out and save his losses.

And that's exactly what he did- leave and let Lance have the last word in this.

He didn't even look back to see his reaction. Just kept walking ahead into the quiet hallway. It took him a moment to remember the way to Black's hangar from here. He headed there as quickly as he could.

He only took out his comm to actually call Lotor back when he was in the small cruiser in the docking tunnel. The quickly passing purple lights accentuated the black device pretty well.

He needed to talk to Lotor and Black anyways, so why not combine the two? Kill two birds with one stone and all that.

The call wasn't even dialing for two seconds before Lotor's face filled his screen. His eyes were filmy and shining. The color in them was dulled considerably. His long moonlight hair was a mess, unkempt and unfiltered for at least two days. But they quickly lit up to their usual cheerful glow once he saw Keith's face, and he fixed himself up to the best of his ability.

 _"Keith!"_ Lotor's excitement at seeing him was clear as day, his disbelieving smile as bright and wide as the sun. "You're okay!" He sighed in relief. "By the Creators above, I really thought you'd gone up and across the sea for a bit there."

Something about that last part tugged at his memory. It seemed important.

Keith was quick to ignore it. He just wanted to enjoy this right now.

"Yeah," Keith rubbed at the back of his neck. "I'm _really_ sorry for worrying you so much. I've been in a healing pod for the past week now. Thus," he gestured down to himself and angled the comm so Lotor could see the pod suit. "The getup." He moved the comm back. 

"Well, I must say," Lotor looked at him with more admiration that usual. "It's a good look for you."

He got out of the cruiser and scoffed. "What is?" He started walking for the hangar door. "The suit?"

"No," Lotor shook his head, then continued looking at Keith like he hung the very stars. "Being alive and well."

He paused. Heat involuntarily rushed to his face. _Shit,_ that was really smooth.

"Keith," Lotor said softly. "You're blushing again."

"I _know,"_ Keith chuckled halfheartedly. God, he felt ridiculous. Blushing like a schoolgirl at a person he'd just insisted to the team less than 15 minutes ago that he wasn't dating. He got it under control pretty quickly, though. Thankfully. "Shush. I wanted to show you something."

Lotor quirked up a brow. "Oh?" He was already curious. Keith could tell from his purring tone. "And what would that be, ga wáran?"

Keith raised a brow at him. "It's someone I'm pretty close with," he opened up the door. "You two know _of_ each other already," he strode into the hangar. "But you guys haven't had the chance to meet yet."

Two steps in, and Black's particle barrier dissipated. He could have probably felt her seething frustration and underlying worry that hit him like a tidal wave now from the other side of the Castle. _Young man,_ she started in a stern voice. _You must have set a personal record for me. I'm out of action for_ less than a day _and yet you still manage to--_ she paused. A wisp of confusion wafted through. _...What are you doing, cub?_

He smiled. "Lotor," he gestured to the comm. "I want you to officially meet..." He moved the comm so the prince could see her. He gestured to her. "Black, the leading lady of Voltron."

Creeping realization dwelled for a few seconds before it finally dawned. _Is that...?_ He nodded and looked to see Lotor's reaction.

There was no other way to describe it but pure, unadulterated _awe._ Wide eyes looking her up and down in disbelief. The smile on his face had dropped completely, his lips instead opting to separate ever so slightly. It took him a few seconds to realize Keith was actually looking at him.

"I must say," Black's intrigue heightened, curious to see what he was going to say about her. "The legends certainly do not give her enough credit, Keith. She's... _magnificent."_ Black practically preened at the praise. He raised a brow. "Can she hear me right now?"

 _She certainly can,_ Black said. _Tell him that._

Keith nodded. "And she can respond back," he told Lotor. "It's just that the Lions 'speak' through their bonds, so you can't really 'hear' what she says." He waved his hand reassuringly. "I'll tell you what she says, though. Don't worry."

"Ah," Lotor said understandingly. He glanced to Black with a raised brow. "If I may ask, Black Lion, is it true you and the Yellow Lion once kept an entire colony planet from splitting apart?"

"What?" Keith looked between the two of them with surprise. "Where'd you hear _that?"_

"Chameon," Lotor told him. "The colony planet in mention. A friend of mine is from there, so she told it to me in great detail. It's their favorite Voltron story." His gaze returned to Black. "So is it actually true?"

Affirmation flowed through. _The people of Chameon are quite... colorful in all aspects._ She explained. _They've been known to... exaggerate a bit to add some intrigue to their tales. I can only imagine how blown out of proportion that story is after such a long time._ Her tail swished like an actual cat's. _...Not that I'm complaining much about that one in particular._

"Is that a yes?" Lotor asked.

"It's a..." Not really a yes, not really a no. Not really a maybe either, when he thought about it. "Kind of. It's been warped to seem more dramatic, according to her."

"Understandable. I thought as much," he confessed. "but I thought to take this opportunity just in case."

Keith gave him a slight smile. "While you're 'here'," he said. "Wanna see what she looks like on the inside?"

Lotor looked to him with raised brows. "What?"

 _What?_ Incredulity rose up in a split second. 

"Is that..." He looked between Keith and Black with surprise and a hint of nervousness. "I mean, I'd love to, but..." He chuckled nervously. "Would she be alright with that? I don't wish to intrude or anything."

"That depends on her," he said, raising a brow at Black. "Would that be okay?"

 _I am..._ she let out a synthetic sigh. _...not entirely certain that would be a good idea, with what happened with Blue a few months ago._

 _**Please?** _ There was that weird mind-voice thing again. It still felt a bit weird, but he was starting to get the hang of it. _**Lotor's not like Nyma, I swear. Plus he's not even physically here. Would it really hurt if he just saw what the inside of a Lion looked like?**_

A storm of conflicting emotions churned through them for a few moments. Part of her didn't want to, but he saw that it wouldn't actually hurt if he knew how the Paladins got into the Lions. The winds swirling around them held an eye that he didn't expect to see at the center of her storm.

Fear. Fear of getting hurt somehow. Fear of growing an attachment to someone just for them to leave somehow. Fear of- no matter how much effort she poured in, how much she clawed and clung- still ending up abandoned and completely alone yet again. The fear of feeling utterly _cursed_ to stay that way until the end of her days.

In that moment, he's never understood her more. The realization jolted between their bond like the empathetic equivalent of an electric shock. It was a strange feeling to have- shaking the very foundation of their bond and yet strengthening it. Building upon it and adding more supports to the whole thing.

It made Black feel more... _human_ to him. Less of a flawless giant parent-like robot he had to pilot in battle, and more an actual _living being._ Someone with hopes and doubts, strengths and insecurities, confidence and fear. Someone to admire, yes. But not something to put on a pedestal and proclaim its perfection blindly.

The feelings that rippled from Black didn't just feel like breathing in secondhand smoke now. They actually felt like his own. A cloud of airy awe floated up through their headspace. There were no words, no tangible thought between them in those first few moments. It felt too important to be dampened by mere words. Purple stared into pure glowing gold, and that was enough.

Black chuckled. _Very well, Keith._ she bent down to his level. _Come on in._

Keith grinned, and he knew the grounded sense of pride that stemmed between them didn't originate from Black. He didn't even wait for the catwalk to extend out for him. As soon as her bottom jaw touched the ground, he was headed through the hallway.

Lotor looked around at the hall with awe. Keith couldn't help but smile at the reaction- his was pretty much the same the first time he stepped into Blue. Right from the get-go, he knew that she was rumbling with an ancient intelligence he couldn't hope to fathom at the time. He didn't allow himself to openly indulge in his awe for very long, but it was still the dominant majority of his reaction.

Not to mention Lotor looked pretty damn adorable when he was truly awed.

That awe only seemed to intensify once they got to the cockpit. _"Wow,"_ he breathed. "So _this_ is what the control center looks like." He couldn't seem to take in enough of his surroundings. Keith sat at the chair and moved his hand around slowly to give Lotor the biggest view he could get. "Over 10,000 years old, and still a top model ship." He looked to Keith appreciatively. "You are truly a lucky man, Keith."

"Yeah," he said, noting the vibrant colors of Lotor now and the haphazard curls of his cascading hair. Even when it looked like he didn't even remotely try, the prince still managed to look absolutely _beautiful._ "I really am."

Black understood what he meant immediately. Lotor apparently did not. He just kept looking around at the cockpit like he was enraptured by every detail. Not that Keith could really blame him. He was doing the exact same thing as him.

Just not to Black.

A faded voice that sounded... vaguely familiar to Keith sounded on Lotor's end, jolting both of them out of their respective trances of admiration. Lotor looked behind him to the source. "Don't worry," he called to whoever it was. "I'll be there in a moment! Just let me finish this up first!"

 _"Sure thing,"_ the voice was closer now. Clearer. He definitely heard it before, but he couldn't really pinpoint where he could have possibly heard them before now. _"Just... please make it quick, my lord. It's your turn to provide dinner tonight, and you know how Ezor gets when she's hungry."_

Real, genuine fear flooded Lotor's widening eyes. "Of course," he said. "How could I forget? I'll see you at the dining hall." Those eyes pointed to Keith once again. 

Concern rippled through both him and Black. "Who's Ezor?" He asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, don't worry," Lotor assured. He didn't look too sure about it, though. "Ezor's the friend from Chameon. She's half-Galra like I am. Don't get me wrong, she's usually a pretty nice person, but if she goes without food for too long..." He shuddered at the thought.

 _Ah,_ realization reached Black. _Chameon people tend to go... a bit feral when they get too desperate or deprived of a basic need. As do some Galra, from what I've seen. So it's probably even more of a heightened instinct for his friend. It's best not to keep him much longer, in that case._

"Okay," he said. "I'll leave you to it. Good luck."

"Ma serrana," Lotor bowed his head. "My thanks, if you wished to know. Hopefully I won't need your wish of good luck." He raised a brow. "Will I be able to talk to you at all tomorrow?"

Keith shrugged. "At least for a bit," he explained. "We're having a team bonding session tomorrow. Knowing Allura, that's probably gonna take up most of it. I'll try to contact you if I can, though."

"Then I look forward to it, ga wáran," Lotor smiled to him. "Thank you for this, and I shall hopefully still be alive if you call. Se'lis ma garena." With that, the call ended.

Keith leaned back in the pilot's chair. He put the comm down on his lap and let out a pent-up sigh. He was going to enjoy a few more moments of peace before Black remembered the probably long-winded tirade she tried to start earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish  
> also!! this is the 10th chapter!! bringing this fic to 50,000+ words!! I'm so happy this is the longest fic i've ever done!! With consistent weekly uploads when I said there would be!! This is probably narcissistic af but I don't care cause usually!! I'm a lazy procrastinating bitch!!   
> so!! thank you guys so much for reading this and commenting on it!! It keeps me going!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black and Keith have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> certain season 4 stuff: //happens//  
> me, finishing this chapter with one foot already in a rowboat to the river of Denial: ...acknowledged.  
> Not in a negative way though, I liked this season  
> it's just that this fic's pretty much gonna completely deviate from it now (save for a few plot points i'd already planned out)  
> enjoy!

Keith shifted in his seat as an indescribable feeling washed over him. He looked up to the ceiling of Black's cockpit. He sighed. "Okay," he gestured to her. "I'm ready for whatever you've got. Let me have it."

You know, he was expecting a couple of different things that could potentially happen. The most likely being her talking his ear off for hours as a way to vent out all her worries and fears bundled up for a week. He'd get it. Someone you cared about dying without a real goodbye was a scary thing to even _consider,_ let alone have it actually happen. Especially when you're completely powerless to do anything about it until it's already done.

The way he looked at it, that would just show she really did care about him. Even if he was only a temporary pilot for her while Shiro was gone, they still managed to connect and really bond. He definitely wasn't going back to Red the same way he was forced to leave her.

The least likely option due to that would be just Black rejecting him as a pilot and picking someone else instead. He hadn't been her pilot long, but he had a feeling she wouldn't really do that. Sure, she was upset. Those feelings were completely justified to him. But he could sense she wasn't _that_ upset by now. Mostly... _relieved_ if anything else.

There were other reactions he briefly considered her having.

But none of them involved what she actually did next.

She didn't say a word as she stood up, her feelings neutral and calm like the flat surface of an undisturbed ocean on a peaceful day. He had no idea what exactly she had in mind when she walked to the outer hangar doors. She willed them to open, and open they obediently did. With a simple push off the floor, Black flew to join the open void of space.

His hands instinctually went for the joysticks. Mainly to try and see if he could veer her off whatever track she was going to fly. Keyword being 'try', because the controls were rigid under his touch. Neither of them moved a single _inch._

 _Not this time, cub._ Her voice was smooth and even. Any real feelings behind her words were hard to pick up. _Don't worry. I know where to go. Just trust me on this._

His grip loosened. "O-kay..." He said, openly still unsure about this. He watched as they quickly moved farther and farther away from the familiarity of the Castle and sat back in his chair. At first he was calm about this. Maybe Black just needed some time to stretch her space legs after a week of not flying.

Keith only started to get a bit nervous when a wormhole opened up for them, swirling scintillating purple practically ready to take them anywhere. He was more than a bit anxious about them now, mainly because of both the corrupted wormhole incident and Shiro's disappearance. So seeing them head toward one without much context made his instincts start to go haywire. "Black," he went to grip the joysticks again, just for comfort this time. "Don't get me wrong. I do trust you, but uh... where are we going, exactly?" 

_A special place,_ she told him vaguely. _One I haven't visited in eons now._ A hint of curiosity flitted through like a visiting butterfly. _Would you allow an old woman to indulge in some good old-fashioned nostalgia, Keith?_

"Well," he shrugged, only a bit in discomfort as the wormhole grew closer and closer to the two of them. "I don't think I can really stop you, so..."

 _Yes you can,_ she picked up immediately. He could tell easily that she was deathly serious about this. _You absolutely can, Keith. You're my pilot, and I can feel the discomfort that is coming off of you in waves. I care about you, and I wish for your true opinion._ She stopped just a few feet short of the wormhole. _So I truly wish to know- do you want to continue, or go back to the Castle?_

"I..." He stared out ahead at the swirling vortex in front of him. It was an unconventional crossroads, but it was one he now found himself stuck at. 

He really wanted to leave. Go back to the safety of the Castle and forget this whole thing ever even happened. Maybe spend a few hours hanging out with the others before curfew or something along those lines. Just... forget this ever happened. It wouldn't be too difficult.

On the other hand, though... he was _really_ curious to see just where Black wanted to go. Just what she wanted to show him from the times before the war, the Empire, and all the other bullshit they had to deal with now. It was a rare opportunity, one he might not ever be given again, and he didn't want it to slip away because of some stupid fear. One he still couldn't dismiss after all this time.

The decision was pretty easy, when he thought about it that way.

Keith gripped the controls tighter, determined not to separate from them and end up on the other side of the universe. He used the reassuring purr of her presence all around him like a security blanket he'd clutch to when he was a little kid. No matter what, he was _not_ going to be a coward, and found a new sense of determination in an instant. He had no idea if it was from him or her, but it worked either way. That was the truly important part.

"Okay," he said. "Let's do it."

The two of them shared the mental equivalent of a mutual understanding nod, and just like that, they went through the wormhole. It felt the same as he had grown used to- a bit of lightheadedness, some vertigo, pressing into the pilot seat a little. Such was to be expected while possibly going halfway across the known universe. Everything seemed to be going fine. 

Which only made him a bit nervous that things would not turn out fine. That something would go wrong at the last second. Part of him nearly expected some old cartoony moustache-twirling villain to pop out of nowhere any instant and throw a wrench in their plan.

But, to his utter relief, nothing happened. They went through the wormhole like they normally did. He wasn't sure how far they'd travelled, but he could easily guess it wasn't just a few miles.

They ended up around a planet that looked... _devastated._ Asteroids littered around the husk of a planet like giant heaps of trash hurled around the floor. A few of them looked like they had been part of the dead and brown planet before them, judging by the apparent scars from some kind of explosion that definitely left the planet forever changed. It was... beautiful, in a melancholy way. A haunting reminder of what could happen to Earth or any other planets they failed to save.

He couldn't help but stare at it, when he thought about it in that way. It was like personally witnessing a train wreck or a car crash- he couldn't look away from it no matter how hard he tried. "Black," he breathed in a hollow sense of awe. "Where are we right now?"

 _Daibazaal,_ she told him, drifting through the asteroid belt slowly and letting him take in the view. _The Galra and my true home planet as it is today, and..._ she hesitated for a moment. _The place where everything both started and ended, or so I thought for nearly 10,000 years. The beginning of the end, you might say. Home to the worst days of my very long life._

"...Oh," he grew quiet for a moment before starting up again. "Then... why are we here now? Why would you want to come back to a place like this?"

Her answer was automatic. _Because I wish to show you something._

She picked up the pace, jets boosting and propelling them through the barely-existent atmosphere. His slightly fascinated horror only grew as they got closer and closer. As the degree of destruction and the desolation it left behind grew more and more detailed all around him. Jagged and long fragments of darkened metal stuck out of the ground erratically, the only bare-boned remains of what was probably once a prosperous planet. The ground was a dead shade of brown, mixed with ash and the occasional dark shadow forever preserved as a black scorch mark on a husk of a planet.

Keith didn't speak, barely even _breathed_ as Black hovered through the desert-like wasteland. He was too busy memorizing all the details he possibly could to bother with mere words. 

A few of Lotor's legends a little while back briefly mentioned the Galra home planet a few times. He should have guessed it would look like this now after what Altea looked like, but actually _being there-_ seeing the final resting place of who knows how many souls- was something else entirely. The two of them were on what was basically a graveyard planet right now. 

It was probably stupid considering how the Galra were their sworn enemy now, but... he couldn't bring himself to speak. The Galra in the Empire now were awful and needed to be stopped, but it was likely most of those who lived here weren't even involved in the war. It would feel... _disrespectful_ to the innocent people who got caught in the crossfire to speak over their silenced voices. 

Black seemed to agree, for she didn't speak either. Just let the air of empathetic melancholy drift about the only living souls on this planet.

Finally it seemed like they were at their destination. Black slowed to a stop just before her claws would have disturbed a giant black circle. It took him a second to realize it wasn't a scorch mark. With more attention, the long-dead thick roots running along and with each other like a bunch of snakes in a pool became clearer. 

Black's ensuing roar echoed through the empty air for miles. Even while dead, the roots still responded to it immediately. They slunk back to reveal a giant metal-lined hole in the ground, cracking and losing bits and pieces along the way. The Lion moved the long way down into it with natural ease, her giant metallic paws easily crushing the weak little pieces into dust.

The sight of a darkened hallway branching out ahead not completely unlike the seemingly abandoned Castle's greeted them. Older, lighter-colored metal Galra pillars lined the earthen walls, supporting the high ceiling. High enough for Black to walk through easily.

Keith watched as etchings of Black glowed bright purple as they passed by. They lit the long way with their collective glow. He couldn't help but feel a faint sense of wonder at it all, how it all still worked like brand new after the death of their planet and at least 10,000 lonely years. It paired with Black's chest-tightening nostalgia like an old dance partner.

 _As you likely know,_ she started quietly. _All of us had marletas- the Galran term for 'safe places'. Havens to hide in just in case anything went wrong, like... Like they eventually did. Each Paladin was responsible for picking a planet and assisting with their Lion's marleta. The..._ she hesitated for a moment. _...former Black Paladin picked his home planet, as I had expected. Very few places were safer than Daibazaal at the time._ A bittersweet feeling wrapped around them at the thought.

She stopped at the curved glass walls on either side of her. They were roughly as tall as her, and twice as long ahead. Both only showed the light, crumbling soil underneath Daibazaal's surface now. She looked at them with a twinge of bittersweet sadness.

 _He spared no expense on me back then,_ she continued. _He thought my marleta should encompass all the other Lions' elements, for I was the one connecting them together. Yellow's was the easiest, as you can probably tell. Green's was a bit more difficult, but Trigel had been willing to assist with leftovers from her own Lion's marleta._ she moved her head to her left. _This window used to have a constant stream of water, signifying Blue._ then to the right. _And this one showed the lava flowing through the planet's core, representing Red._ Her head bowed down in healed, but still scarring grief. _Naturally, those resources died along with the rest of the planet._

Keith hesitated to say something. She was having a very important moment that he really shouldn't interrupt, but he found himself wondering something. He waited a few moments before actually saying anything, though. Giving her a window of time to properly mourn for right now.

"Black," Keith started softly. "All the other Lions have elements, but..." He raised a brow. "Do you? And did Zar- _the former Black Paladin,"_ he quickly corrected himself. She seemed to appreciate that. "Represent that, too?"

 _You know,_ she started walking again, at a much faster pace this time. _I'm glad you asked that, for one of your answers is coming up soon._

As if on cue, a giant Galra door with a different emblem lit up with brighter purple lights a few yards away. Practically a few steps for someone as big as Black. She got there in a few mere seconds.

"What about the other answer?"

 _Hm?_ she wasn't fully paying attention to him.

"You said that one of my answers was coming soon," Keith explained. "I asked two questions. Can you tell me the answer I'm not going to get from... whatever's behind that door?"

 _Oh, certainly._ she snapped back to reality. _It provides context for this anyways. I trust you've seen my wings by now?_

He nodded. "Yeah, of course I have."

 _Judging from the wings, it's not hard to assume that my element is air._ she continued. _But the former Black Paladin faced a problem with that. There was no way to truly specialize something usually invisible and all around us. Not to mention the color scheme issue._ she chuckled emptily. _It's hard to imagine now, knowing the person he is in present, but this was actually a pressing issue for him back then. He cared about it deeply, just as... we both cared for each other. Funnily enough, he wasn't the one to come up with a solution._

It was pretty hard to imagine Zarkon caring about something like this so much, but he was a different person then. At least a bit. From the hidden tinge of old admiration he could sense, Black still seemed to care about him more than she should. He could also sense her blanketing shame of that fact. He must have been _amazing_ to still leave that kind of impact after everything that's happened.

Either that, or his poisonous influence was good enough to still leave residue on Black's mind. Both seemed pretty possible. He didn't really have the most unbiased source with him right now.

"Oh?" He asked curiously. "Who did, then?"

 _His wife, Honerva._ she said with tainted admiration. _An Altean alchemist who helped with my creation and started studying quintessence right after. I only met with her a few times, always with you-know-who around to tell her what I said._

A question popped up in his mind. It was one he didn't need to ask, already knowing the answer, but he couldn't help but ask it anyways. For clarification's sake. "You... mean like I did a few minutes ago?" He said. "With Lotor?"

Black paused. She was entirely silent for a few moments too many. Finally she spoke up again. _...Yes,_ she said thoughtfully. _Very much so._ Another too-long pause. He could sense her thoughts flitting away, fitting through the holes in the fabric of time to look back at those long-gone or forever changed.

They returned shortly. She seemed set on getting to a certain point, something connected to but not necessarily mentioned by the current reminiscing. _...Anyways,_ she continued. _To answer your question, Honerva had an absolutely brilliant mind. It wasn't very difficult for her to come up with a solution to her husband's problem. Sure, you could argue air is my element given my wings. But she looked far deeper into it than my young mind ever could at the time._

Keith listened intently, knuckles against his cheek and elbow digging into his armrest. "Wow," his brows raised slightly. "You _really_ admired her, huh?"

A few mere particles of bashful embarrassment drifted through them. _Well, I was... young. Not to mention very impressionable. Having a bond with her husband certainly painted any image of her in a positive light, but it was... more than that. She wasn't necessarily kind, or strong in the sense of a warrior, but she was iron-willed and calm. She knew how to turn the most complicated problems into child's play. Her mind was inquisitive unlike any other's, latching onto project after project to figure out how anything new she could get her hands on worked. And I..._ Another pause. _I thought she was the most brilliant person in the universe. This instance was just the first example._

Black's resulting roar echoed all the way down the tunnel. Rumbling along the hall that had been empty for far too long and sliding through the sanded smooth slopes. The door responded in kind, purple lights outlining the outer frame first. Two different branches moved together, splitting into two more at the closed slit keeping the door's sides together. The top line moved down, the lower line moved up. When they met in the middle, they blazed Voltron's insignia and the entire thing shone brighter.

Only when it all died down did the door open slowly to reveal the grand room behind it.

At least, it must have been grand when it was built. Now it stood in destruction and disarray, yet still managed to reflect pieces of its past beauty. It was a very open room, nearly twice as big as Black all around. There were no pronounced corners to the room, but it wasn't completely round either. More like a soft pentagon rather than an actual circle.

Exceptionally elaborate carvings, even by now's standards, decorated the walls around the metal pedestal- probably where Black would stay with her particle barrier. Including a mural spanning nearly an entire wall depicting the previous Paladins standing in their Lion's order in Voltron. Blaytz and Gyrgan at the ends, linking their arms behind a surprised but not arguing Alfor and Trigel, with a very different-looking young Zarkon standing proud in the middle. All of them looked really... _happy._

It was the clearest one available with the least cracks or missing pieces, so he naturally kept going back to it. It was... strange to see for him. Weird to put silly faces to the names of legend Lotor told him about.

But the most spectacular thing hung high above them, hanging on midnight chains in the high ceiling above the particle barrier pedestal. A giant deep purple crystal the size of Black's head and neck, pulsating and scintillating with whiter fragments of light that cast itself on the entire room. It bathed the walls in constant starry light, giving the illusion of a ceiling nearly like a night sky. It took his breath away far too easily.

 _Honerva looked at what my element could possibly be in a new way,_ Black spoke up again, moving to sit upon the pedestal. _Sure, when a creature takes flight, they harness the air to propel them along. But what does that creature embrace every time? What allows them the air they use so freely?_ She sat down and looked up at the crystal. _The sky. Such a simple answer solved both problems given to her._

Keith stared up at the crystalline ceiling with wide eyes. It imitated a natural sky almost to a T, yet it also highlighted the careful hands and attention-sharp eyes that lovingly crafted it to look that way. Both were balanced perfectly, neither overpowering the other.

"She sounds _amazing,"_ he breathed, then remembered her status as Zarkon's wife. "...What happened to her?" He was quick to brace himself to hear the worst.

Black went quiet for a moment. A heavy hollow stone of grief weighed them both down. _She went into studying the nature of quintessence as soon as we could actually access it, and..._ she let out a synthetic sigh. _It consumed her gradually, so slowly none of us could see it until it was far too late to fix. Yet even then..._ she hesitated until melancholy frustration cracked the surface and broke out. _Oh, quiznak it- **Zarkon** still stayed at her side through it all. _

The name was 'spoken' with pure venom. 10,000 years worth of powerful, nearly overwhelming emotions were poured into one simple name. Hatred, betrayal, anger, sorrow, grief, shame- just to name a few- wracked through Keith, making him both want to curl up into a ball and cry forever and punch Emperor Space Snapping Turtle personally at the same time.

It was a very confusing and likely explosive concoction to leave bottled up and unaddressed. Had Black really been letting it sit and fester quietly all this time? He couldn't even _imagine_ doing that to himself for such a long time.

Keith wiped at his eyes as the intensity of the feelings willingly flowed through him, causing tears to well up. 

_Despite everything, he stayed loyal to her above any and everything else._ She continued on, the poisonous feelings hot and heavy yet... slowly purging. It was definitely going to be a long process, but it looked like in time these memories might not affect her so much. _Above his duty, above his people, above the team..._ she paused. A hollow feeling ate away at them both. _Even above me, in the end. I was like a child to him. We trusted each other implicitly. He told me absolutely everything back then, and I would never utter a word of it to the others._ she chuckled bitterly. _In hindsight, I really should have._

Keith raised a brow in curiosity. Despite knowing the ultimate ending to this story, he couldn't help but finding himself drawn to hearing about the details of how things ultimately ended up that way. Little pieces of the puzzle to reveal the much bigger picture. It fascinated him. "Why do you say that?"

 _Quintessence and energy from a rift to... somewhere not of this reality were draining Honerva slowly,_ she told him. _It was killing her much before her natural time. Zarkon tried every medical method he could possibly find, but... Nothing worked. She was going to die. The others accepted that fact with heavy hearts, but Zarkon wouldn't._ That hollow feeling branched out. _He came up with one final plan, one more last ditch effort to save the life of one he loved. That's the way I saw it. And I... admired his determination immensely. I supported it blindly. But I didn't know the entire plan until it was already in motion._

Keith listened intently as Black delved deeper into description, seeing it all in his mind's eye. A hard-fought battle with a strange creature from the rift nearly tearing Daibazaal apart. A pause in the middle of the chaos, the eye of the storm, where the plan was executed.

 _...'Go,' I told him,_ she told Keith. _'Do what you must. I'll keep Voltron steady for you.' I was naïve as no other, but I wasn't a liar._

Black apparently kept her end of the plan as Zarkon carried his bundled wife out. He held her close to him, the most precious thing in his life. The others- including the other Lions- exclaimed their opinions on the matter, tried anything they could to stop it. But she was determined to keep them all locked in place long enough to make sure the deed was done.

 _...but he left out one crucial detail when he told me the plan,_ she said. _An absolute deal-breaker for me. I trusted Zarkon, loved him more than I've found myself able to love anyone else ever since._ Keith couldn't find it in himself to be offended by that. _He and Honerva were the most important people in my short life, and I..._ Her voice broke, shattering into tiny fractals. _I watched them both die. Helped in it, even._ The hollowness only continued to grow. _I'm not certain if Honerva is undead now like her husband or not, but... I sincerely hope that she isn't. I'm... not entirely sure if I would be able to handle that, honestly._

He nodded and put one hand on the wall in a reassuring gesture. The hollowness didn't ease, but it stopped in its tracks. The two of them stayed there in contemplative silence for a few moments. He was the one to break it this time.

"Black," he said. "I have another question, if you're up for answering it."

A light bit of curiosity floated through at that. _Very well, cub._ she told him. _What is it?_

"Why did you bring me here?" No hesitation, no segue, just onto the point of it immediately. There was no actual tiptoeing around it. "Out of all the times you could have, why show me all of this _now?"_

For a few dragging moments, everything stilled. No purring engine, no outside movement, no puffs of breath, just... completely unrivaled stillness. Like they were on some kind of video recording program and someone just pressed the pause button. He had no idea how Black was reacting to it- her feelings were still hollow. That hollowness had shrunken down a bit, but not nearly enough to give him any tells as to how she was feeling about what he'd just asked.

After what felt like an eternity, everything continued when Black finally spoke up again. _...Ah,_ she said simply. _I understand completely why you'd wish to know that. You don't really buy the 'old woman's nostalgia' thing being the only reason for this visit anymore, do you?_

He shook his head. "No," he said. "Not really." He shrugged. "I think that was _one_ reason you did, but it wasn't the only one. Or even the main one."

She sighed. _...Well, I have to admit- you're correct in that little assessment._ she told him. _I came here to show you what I wished to give you: a warning. One I feel like you need right now._

"Oh?" His brows furrowed in cautiousness. He didn't like where this was going. "And what would that be?"

 _I loved Zarkon so much,_ she looked to the mural. _It was so strong that even eons later, I still found myself... struggling against his influence. At the main Galra base during our first attack on it, part of me... wanted to go back to him._

Shame filled the hollow space by the gallons, quickly becoming a churning sea in a storm. _He'd reconnected our weakened bond, reached out to me. Told me that he'd forgive me without a second thought if I just... came home. Back to him._

The sea of shame turned inky black, twisting and turning sharply. It carried him violently like he was a ragdoll. _And even after all he'd done to hurt me and everyone I cared about, I... believed him. I was blind to how much of a monster he was even then, even when everyone around me saw it clear as day._ The seas calmed slightly. _See where I'm going with this?_

"I..." His brows creased as he struggled with the meaning she was trying to give him. He wanted to understand, but for the life of him, he just... couldn't. It didn't really click. "...can't say that I do, no." He was going to be honest about it.

Black sighed. A bit of frustration peeked out, but she was quick to push it down. _Keith,_ she started again. _The glaring problems with Zarkon and Honerva were that... This is going to sound entirely ridiculous, but they were too similar-minded. He didn't disagree with any of her ideas- mainly because he didn't have to. They saw all matters in perfect synchronicity._

He raised a brow. "And that's a problem?"

 _It is when the matters and ideas are absolutely insane,_ she told him quickly. _Nonverbal understanding is usually good in a relationship, don't get me wrong about that. But in order for any relationship- romantic or otherwise- to properly function and thrive long-term, you need communication. Not to mention you can't put priorities on certain relationships too much._ It was a warning. _Or trust too much too quickly._ She looked to the mural, and he couldn't help but feel like she was looking at Zarkon. _People might not be what you expect._

That's when it finally clicked for him. The lagging realization finally dawned like the first peek of sunlight after a dark night. "Wait," he said, sitting forward in his seat a bit. "Are you..." His brows furrowed. His elbows dug into the armrests of the pilot seat, his fingers tightly interlocked. "Warning me about Lotor? Is _that_ what this is really about?"

 _I think it's wonderful you've found someone outside the team or the Blade to bond with,_ she told him carefully. He could tell that she meant it, but she also was trying not to offend him. _You need someone like that. He seems like a perfectly respectable young man..._ she trailed off for a second. When she spoke again, her voice was quieter. Softer. The same kind of feelings drifting through. _And I can tell he means a lot to you. On a level I'm not certain you realize nor understand._

Keith's arms crossed, but he couldn't help but smile at the airy and soft feeling in his chest. He chuckled a bit. "Do I make it that obvious?" It was teasing, but he was actually... kinda curious what she meant by that.

 _Your words don't,_ she told him with a hint of amusement. _The phenylethylamine, dopamine, and hinting pheromones do._

He gave her a fake moody scowl. For the life of him, he couldn't remember what those chemicals actually did, but bringing them up was meant to poke fun at him somehow. That was reason enough.

She laughed. A bubbly surge of happiness rushed through him, strained and not as big as they used to be. But still... there. That was the important part.

It was gone quickly as Keith noticed they were still staring at the mural. Looking at old ghosts long passed or disappeared. The bubbles slowly popped, one by one. _I don't mind Lotor at all currently,_ she finally spoke up again. _You... are my Paladin. If you trust him, I will trust your judgement and do so myself. All I ask of you is to just..._ she finally turned her head away from the mural. _Be careful about it. I don't want you to get burned like I have._

"Got it," he nodded and noted the advice. "Thank you." He looked down at the console in silence for a few brief moments. "Now, shouldn't we get back to the Castle, or...?"

Black chuckled. _Oh, child,_ she said almost... affectionately. _You say that like we ever really left._

Keith jolted up in his seat, eyes opening suddenly. His body went rigid at the sudden awakening. His heart rate kicked up for a few seconds, his breaths quickening ever so slightly. It took longer than he expected to calm them down. The next instinctual assessment was to check his surroundings.

He was still in the pilot seat of Black's cockpit. It thrummed with the same purr it usually did. Her eyes showed him they were back in Black's hangar. Everything was the exact same as it was before, except for him. Right before that weird feeling he got out of... nowhere...

"That was a mindscape," he thought aloud, looking up to Black's ceiling. "Wasn't it?"

 _Hm?_ Black hummed. She faked disinterest. _What was a mindscape, Keith?_

"Going to Daibazaal," he told her exasperatedly. "Seeing your safe haven, your marleta. Our talk. It was all a mindscape again, just like..." He snapped rapidly, like it would somehow help him remember. What did Black call the staircase mindscape last time? It was some kind of symbol, a progression to--

 _"Progress!"_ he burst out exactly like the answer did in his head. "That was Progress, wasn't it?"

 _Yes,_ Amusement and pride interlocked like a pair of hands meant for each other. It swelled in his chest like a crescendo. _Indeed it was, ma ara._ If she could properly emote, he could imagine the expression she would have perfectly. _You should go and rest._ she bent down to let him leave, comm in tow. 

She only spoke up again once he was nearly out into the hangar. _I imagine sleep deprivation won't help your dancing lessons tomorrow._

He groaned, feet dragging onto the hangar floor. _"God,"_ he said. "You didn't have to remind me that I have to do that tomorrow."

Black chuckled. If she could, she would have probably shrugged. _Whoops. My apologies._ She wasn't sorry at all. That was blatantly obvious in a millisecond. _Do not worry about it, Keith. I've seen Etmean dances. I highly doubt that you'll be the only one stumbling about like a newborn babe._

Keith scoffed at that. "Yeah," he said, rolling his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence there, _Mom."_ He stopped in his tracks as he heard her jaw closing. Thought something over quickly, then turned back around while her head was still in his reach. "Wait." 

She stopped warily. That hint of wariness only grew a bit as he strode back up to her. _...What is it, Keith?_

Any uncertainty dissipated into nothingness as he placed his palm against her top jaw, fingertips just a bit below her 'nose'. He looked into her eyes earnestly. "Thank you," he said, moving closer until he could lean his forehead against the cool and calm metal. Feel it vibrating subtly with life beneath his skin. "And... I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and let his voice soften. "I didn't mean to scare you. Or anyone."

The purr underneath him seemed to grow a bit louder. The pride glowed bright like a blazing sun. _It is no problem,_ she assured. _I saw the memory. You did what you had to do in that situation._ Her face nudged forward ever so slightly, careful not to move him too much. _I'm proud of you, child, just... Don't make it a habit, okay? I'd rather not lose another Paladin._

Keith chuckled softly. "I'll keep that in mind," he told her. "I promise."

After a few more wonderful moments of closeness he'd rarely felt before, he finally moved away from her and headed for the door. He was definitely going to try and take her advice on sleeping.

Keyword being 'try'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'but tali, voltron didn't fight anything before going into the rift!'  
> I know, but this fic is pretty much seperated from season 3/4 already So  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith sleeps in before the team's first dance lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early chapter!
> 
> Just as a warning, my school's production is next week, so I probably won't have a lot of time to write the next chapter on top of that and writing mini fics for keitor week. So if I don't update next week, that's why!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter, though!

For the record, Keith _hates_ dancing. No matter what the time or occasion or particular mood he's in, very few things can get him to dance. One of them being something he's not legally supposed to have on Earth yet. Another was who-knows-where by this point.

Point was, he was seriously dreading going to the training deck this morning. For once, he actually drifted back off to sleep just to avoid it as much as humanly possible. 

He knew for a well-known fact couldn't avoid it forever. Someone from the team would find him and drag him to join the rest of them. Probably cracking jokes along the way about how he was actually hesitant to go to the training deck for once. Or maybe how he actually slept in for once, though that could be easily explained away as healing-pod grogginess.

When he drifted back of to sleep, he saw... _light_ in his dreams. It started as a far-off shape in the dark blue surrounding him, but it drifted closer and closer to him until it draped around his vision like a security blanket. It wasn't warm, it wasn't cold, it was just... _nice._ It made him actually feel... safe. Fractals of different colors danced and dazzled all around him like vibrant stars.

When he looked down at his silhouette, it wasn't pitch black anymore. It was more of a very dark dull lilac, the starting step between an actual shade of purple. A few faint white dots moved about his ethereal skin like baby stars. The mark on his shoulder glowed brightly, blending with the white light around him perfectly.

He felt like all of this was supposed to mean something to him, but it... didn't. It was beautiful- absolutely breathtaking to behold. Probably something he'd forget once he actually woke up, so he appreciated the beauty of it all while he could, but it didn't really signify anything other than a weird dream.

Yet part of him _knew._ This was supposed to be telling him something, but he couldn't quite get what. It was like trying to hear someone trying to tell you something rapidly in a language you didn't really understand. You picked up a few words here and there, but nothing important enough to make the entire puzzling message click together.

God, why couldn't he ever have a _normal_ dream nowadays? He could bet most of the others dreamed of home, or their families, or some other matter from the past day. Meanwhile his dreams were practically Cryptic Central. At this point he honestly wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of random codes started coming out of nowhere.

Eventually, something else faded into view. A figure Keith didn't have much difficulty recognizing pretty quickly. What that said about him, he had no idea. Most of him didn't care at this point. It was just good to see him again.

 _...Shiro?_ he 'said' incredulously. He wanted nothing more than to move towards him, get closer, finally see his face again. Dream or not, he just wanted a glimpse at his big brother's face so he could have an easier time keeping it detailed in his memory.

Yet for every step Keith took towards Shiro's back, Shiro took another. They always kept the same pace, keeping the same distance from each other no matter how fast Keith tried to run and trick his own dream. Keith drifted like a ghost, a mere _visitor,_ while Shiro looked solid and real. Like he belonged wherever they were.

It took Keith who _knows_ how long to notice other details about the scene. When he ran, his feet never really impacted the ground. For a while he thought there really was no set ground to walk upon. It was a dream; dreams could viably do that.

But when Takashi took a step, tiny ripples went out along his feet. Black sludge like oil followed at his heels, marking wherever he went and branching out a bit along the surface. It was like he was nonchalantly walking on the smooth surface of a calm lake or ocean, searching for... something. The horizon, maybe? 

Keith had no idea, but the sight of it all worried him to no end. What in the hell did this all _mean?_

Suddenly Shiro stopped in his tracks. Didn't move, didn't tense up in his tracks or anything, just... stayed there. Calm as the surface he stood on, even as the oily black fluid finally caught up to him. It worked its way up quickly. Quicker than Keith could probably manage to save him from it in time, but damn was he going to try.

It was up to Shiro's neck in what felt like seconds. The sludge didn't affect Keith, but seeing one of the most important people of his life being... absorbed into it certainly did. 

_No!_ He called, reaching out as far as he possibly could. Which didn't feel as long as his arm could usually stretch. _Takashi, please!_

He was close. So, so _close._ For a split second, he really thought his desperation would boost him just enough to make it in time. Give him enough time to save Shiro from this in whatever way he had to.

That wasn't the case. The oil seemed to slow a bit, but that was just to taunt him. Tease him with the promise of hope before taking it away at the last possible second. There was no other way for this to turn out. He realized and reluctantly accepted it with a heavy heart just seconds before the oil was done.

That acceptance didn't make it any easier. Especially when Shiro finally turned around to look at him. The usual shine of his eyes were replaced, already taken away by lifeless black and slick hints of other lingering colors. They were pools of vast and almost unending darkness, sickening for him to look at for too long. He shot Keith his award-winning reassuring smile, the kind that he'd desperately missed since Shiro first disappeared.

Except for once, it didn't reassure Keith. It just rubbed salt in the reopened wound when that look was finally absorbed as well. The new oil fell back onto the water's surface and dipped below the depths. Right as Keith would have potentially been able to touch it.

He fell to his knees. It was difficult to process anything in the next passing moments. His mind was whirling like a tornado, chaotic and screaming until it felt like he was breathless. The light was suddenly just a bit too glaring for him to handle. The silence of his surroundings was too loud for him to bear. He wanted nothing more than to get _out._ Dancing would be nothing compared to this hellscape.

Of course, he didn't wake up. That would be too easy on him right now.

Thankfully, the next person sent his way was more... reassuring. He didn't see him at first, but just hearing his voice was enough to snap him out of his little dreamscape breakdown. The fact that he could do so would probably be a bit alarming in any other mindscape, but right now he didn't really care. Anyone but Zarkon, Haggar, or his dear old dad would probably have the same effect on his distressed state.

 _"Ga wáran,"_ the smooth purring voice filled the disturbing silence with each. An arm gliding to rest at Keith's other side to cautiously pull him closer soothed him a little bit. _"What is the problem?"_

Instinctually, Keith leaned into the gentle and supportive touch. He yearned for it after what he just witnessed, and he didn't care enough right now to deny himself of it based off petty pride or anything else equally dumb. He buried himself in the embrace like a child would a blanket while hiding from monsters of their mind. No hesitation. No shame whatsoever.

After all, he didn't need to feel shame at it. First off, it was a dream. No one but him would ever see it. Second off, he had no reason yet to shrink away from the not-so-mysterious person. From the nickname alone, he knew exactly who his mind had conjured up to comfort him. Keith wasn't gonna lie to himself and pretend that he wasn't a wise choice, even if Keith didn't quite understand why or how he had gotten up on Keith's list so fast.

Thankfully, his subconscious remembered the steadiness of Lotor's arms and the soft silky touch of his hair. He welcomed the familiar sensations near-desperately. Even if this wasn't the real Lotor, he was still going to harness this opportunity as long as he possibly could.

"Keith," Lotor spoke up again. Keith could feel his vocal cords vibrate his skin slightly, as real as life itself. "Whatever is bothering you... Do you wish to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to."

He couldn't help but smile to himself. Even in a dream, Lotor was still as gracious and considerate as always. "No," He cracked an eye open slightly to look at Lotor's vibrant purple-tinted spectral shape. "I-" His eye opened fully when he noticed something new. Something... different about this Lotor. "Wait..."

This Lotor's hair was entirely different than the one in the real world. Instead of a full head of unobstructed silk-smooth long white hair, this one had an equally long sidecut to the side away from him. That wasn't too weird to see on Lotor- Keith was kind of into it honestly- but that wasn't the detail that gave him pause. He moved up and out of the comfort to investigate further.

At the edge in the middle of the shaved side, a thin jagged sliver of white peeked out at him. It was pure and unabashed white, standing out starkly from its surroundings. It branched out like a vein. Thinning out and gradually disappearing the further along it went. Almost like...

Keith didn't need to finish that thought. He immediately started following the mark with his eyes, moving inwards to find the point of origin. Lotor's expression was unreadable as he watched Keith move behind him in impassioned pursuit of his answer. 

It led him to the nape of Lotor's neck, just below the point where the skull and the spine connected under the skin. A spot usually completely obstructed by hair. Even when Lotor had his hair up, Keith's answer was deftly hidden by it.

But now it was free to peek out at him teasingly. Not completely, but enough to tell him exactly what kind of mark it was.

After all, it was mirrored on his own skin. He looked to his left shoulder to make sure, just in case he was seeing things. Yet it was still there when Keith looked back at the exact spot. His heart stopped.

"Lotor," he said cautiously, then shook his head slightly. This wasn't Lotor. He wasn't even entirely sure if they were really a product of his mind's need for comfort. "...Whoever this is- What is this mark for?" He needed answers. "What is it supposed to signify?" Lotor turned around, staring at him blankly. There was something... different in his eyes now. Something old and unfathomably powerful. "Who _are_ you?"

The stranger wearing a slightly modified version of Lotor stared at him for a few more seconds before finally doing something. They smiled with a hint of amusement. _Despite the fact that I'm breaking one of my celestial rules, I'm throwing you a bone here._ the voice wasn't Lotor's anymore. But it still felt... oddly familiar. _Either a hint or yet another question._ They shrugged. _Depends on how you choose to look at it- After all, you didn't really think you were the only one,_ They raised a brow, head tilting slightly to the side. The fractals of light seemed to be drawn up and onto them, almost... drawn around their shoulders like a cloak of some kind. _Did you?_

Before Keith could even _begin_ to question that any further, the light surrounding him suddenly intensified. It hummed with an innate and unfathomable power as it quickly grew to blind and swallow him completely. It held him high and aloft for a few seconds, light within and without him.

And then it dropped him like a ragdoll. He plummeted headfirst back into the empty void below.

Keith shot upright in his bed only to meet something _very_ hard forehead-first. Brief flashes of light from the unexpected pain flashed in his vision as he winced. He felt a lightly touching hand suddenly flinch off of him at his reaction. "Oh spirits above," the familiar voice said. "A-Are you okay? I'm _s-so_ sorry. The P-Princess s-sent me to wake you up, I-I didn't mean to--"

He held up one hand, the other lightly rubbing at the wound. It didn't feel like it would bruise, thankfully enough. The others probably wouldn't let him hear the end of it if they found out. "Hey," he cracked an eye open to look at him. "It's not your fault. You had no way of knowing I would do that, so no harm done. Just... don't tell this to the team, okay?"

Suo-miraan nodded quickly. "O-Of course, Black Paladin." They raised a brow. "May I-I ask you something, th-though?"

"Sure thing," he moved his hand down from his forehead and fully opened both eyes to look at them. "What is it?"

Their expression softened. It grew even more unsure. "I-I know it's n-none of m-my business," they started, hands nervously wringing. Their eyes were pointed everywhere but at him. "A-After all, y-you barely know me a-at all, so I-I wouldn't blame you i-if you don't want to answer this, b-but..." They stopped, finally gathering the courage to glance up at him again. "B-before I was a-about to wake you u-up, y-you seemed... d-distressed." They looked at him with concern. "K-kept mumbling something I-I couldn't make out. A-Are you _really_ o-okay?"

He didn't know what to say. "I..." A couple different things popped up quickly in his head.

_No, I keep having freaky-ass dreams about my missing in action brother being swallowed up by some oily goop followed by some other cryptic bullshit._

_Yeah, I'm fine. No issues at all. Let's go meet the others and get these dancing lessons over with._

_...What is this 'okay' you speak of?_

None of them seemed like the complete truth. Or wasn't too concerning to tell someone. But they asked him a question- he had to answer them _somehow._

Keith chuckled halfheartedly and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I... don't really know," he confessed with a slight shrug. "Things have been pretty chaotic for the past few days. It's not every day you hear that you literally _died_ for a couple minutes." He quirked up a brow. "You can understand that, right?"

"Oh!" Their brows raised. "Of course." They looked down at the floor. "I-I understand h-how that might be a bit... u-unsettling. T-To hear, I-I mean." They shrugged. "O-Or to feel, if y-you really felt it." They shot him an apologetic glance. "I-I should've known b-better than to a-ask. I-I'm so sorry, a-again."

He waved it off casually. "It's not a problem at all," he reassured. "Don't worry about it." He shot them a tired smile. "I appreciate the concern, though." He stretched his arms, letting a few things pop with energy for yet another day. "Thanks."

Suo-miraan smiled at that, mandibles twitching slightly at the movement. "You're very welcome, Black Paladin." They stood back up from where they were kneeling and stepped back a little. Probably to allow him room to get out of his cot without accidentally kicking them on the way up. They raised a golden brow down at him. "Do you want me to go and tell the others you're up and give you an opportunity to change, or...?"

Keith considered the question for a moment. He didn't really need much right now. He'd changed back into his shirt and spare boxers just before going to bed, and he didn't really have much else to wear. All he really needed was his jeans and maybe his belt. The jacket probably wasn't necessary for this- it'd just limit his movement and make him feel even more stiff and awkward than he usually did while dancing.

Finally, he shook his head. "I don't really have to put on much," he told them. "Just wait a minute or so outside the door and I'll be ready to go."

"Okay," they said, nodding quickly. "Just call if you need any help or..." They shrugged, gesturing vaguely to him. "Anything." They started moving back toward the door. It opened softly for them as they retreated back into the hallway. "I confess I don't really know much about humans, but I can certainly try my best to help after what you've done to help me."

He nodded, carefully starting to slip out of his blanket. Not enough to show anything he wasn't comfortable with a near-stranger seeing, but enough to show he was starting to make an effort. "Got it," he said. "I'll keep that in mind, don't worry."

Suo-miraan curtly bowed to him. That was the last thing he saw them do before the door closed, leaving him alone in his room yet again.

He got up and out of bed with a reluctant huff. His groggy muscles protested the movement as loudly as they could. Just a taste of a 'proper' and 'healthy' sleep schedule seemed to leave them yearning for just a bit more. 

But he didn't have time for 'just a bit more' right now. He needed to get going. Mainly because he didn't want to keep Suo and the others waited for too long, but also because whoever the team sent to wake him up next probably wouldn't be as merciful as their guest. He wouldn't put it past any of them to wake him up in some ridiculous way it he drifted off again.

Keith's thoughts wandered off and around again as he changed into the rest of his only outfit. When he thought about it a bit more, he realized something- he didn't really _want_ to drift back off to sleep anyways. After all, who _knows_ what mysterious shit he'd dream up if he did? The possibilities were too vast to risk it blindly.

So he set to clasping his belt buckle, zipping up his fly, and starting a brand new day with new potential (embarrassing himself in front of the team while trying to dance was involved in a majority of them). Plaguing tiredness be damned.

He briefly combed through his hair with his fingers, wiped at his eyes, and he was ready. No fuss, no worries, just ready to go in about a minute. He headed for the door to see Suo-miraan leaning against the nearest wall to wait for him. They exchanged a quick glance, he nodded, and they moved off the wall.

And off they went down the hall to the training deck.

It was a route Keith knew almost scarily well by now. He could probably walk it blindfolded without running into anything at this point. Even though they must've known the route in order to get to him, Suo-miraan seemed to be fine with just following at his side.

Neither of them spoke up on the way. Just... let the soft sound of footfalls on eons-old flooring be the only thing to fill the silence. It wasn't uncomfortable- anything but, actually. It didn't seem like Suo-miraan minded it. Or if they did, they didn't mind it enough to do anything to change that and ease their theoretical discomfort.

Keith secretly appreciated the nice silence. He hadn't been able to witness it in a while- only running into awkward and uncomfortable ones instead. It was a nice and familiar shift in routine. He made sure to relish it for as long as he could, for he probably wouldn't have that opportunity again for a while with a group as close (and as unapologetically _loud)_ as his friends.

He loved them to death, but there was no way they were gonna be remotely quiet for the next couple hours. Especially not on a day literally _dedicated_ to bonding as a team. He was definitely going to learn some things he'd rather not know today.

The silence breaking sound happened right as the door to the training deck opened. Allura and Pidge were together, with the Princess showing Pidge how to do an easy-looking twist on their heels. The two of them were only relatively close together, hands clasped on each other's forearms for support. But they were relatively silent. If they were talking to each other, Keith definitely couldn't hear it.

Mainly because of the other pair of dance partners on the floor. A shriek of laughter filled the air with an innate and pure sense of happiness right as the door opened. It wasn't hard to find out why it had sounded, looking out at the few figures on the temporary dance floor.

It wasn't that surprising to find out that it had sounded from Lance, who was currently being spun around securely cradled in Hunk's arms. His arms were latched around the back of Hunk's neck, connecting his own hands together for even more security than he already had. His lips were graced with the biggest and brightest smile Keith had ever seen Lance have.

Coran stood by them, watching them with an excited sparkle in his eyes. "Yes, exactly!" He cheered them on, slapping Hunk squarely on the back when they finally slowed to a stop. Lance hadn't moved from his arms yet. "Good form, my boy! You matched Etmean styling perfectly!" He raised a brow. "How is that, though? We've barely demonstrated it and you already have it down."

Hunk smiled bashfully. "It wasn't too hard, really," he said with a shrug. "I just did what you and Allura showed us." He looked to Coran appreciatively. "Thanks for the compliment, though. I appreciate it."

"Hunk's being too _modest,"_ Lance leaned back in Hunk's arms to look at Coran. "In high school, we had to have at least one athletic elective." He booped Hunk's cheek, only receiving a teasing eyeroll in response. "This one chose dance, and he was the absolute _best_ at it. Even better than the teacher was."

Hunk looked down at him fondly. _"This one,"_ he gestured to Lance with his head. "chose _weight lifting_ of all things, and he was the absolute _worst_ at it. Could barely lift at the middle school level at first."

Lance looked deeply and exaggeratedly offended by that statement. He opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes happened to wander about the room.

Landing right on Keith.

"Well, well, well," he said, expression shifting to the usual with Keith- blooming mischief. He gestured openly to him, looking to the other members of the team. "Look who finally managed to get out of bed and join us!" His attention focused on Keith again. "Welcome back to the land of the living, mójol!" He adopted an exaggerated British accent for his last statement. "Glad you could find it in yourself to deem us _worthy_ of your presence."

"Yeah, glad to see you too, Lance." Keith raised a brow, looking to them all. "How much have I missed? How long have I been out?"

"Don't mind Lance here," Hunk lifted Lance up, causing his arms to embrace Hunk's neck again with a slight screech and a glare. "He's just giving you crap. You haven't missed a lot, just two hours or so."

Two _hours?_

Allura looked over to him. "We didn't do too much in that time, so we figured it'd be better for you to make up for lost time and sleep off any residual grogginess from the healing pod."

"Yeah," Pidge piped up. "Plus, we kinda figured you'd get up and join us eventually. Never really pegged you as the type to sleep in much, healing pod or no healing pod." They simply shrugged. "Guess we were wrong after all."

"Can't say I blame you," Keith admitted. "I don't really sleep in anymore. Guess the healing pods took more out of me than I thought." He looked over to Lance with a brow. "So catch me up here- _why_ are you in Hunk's arms?"

Lance pointed to him. "That's not the question you should ask, O Mulleted One," he said. "The real question is- why _not_ be in Hunk's arms? Like, have you _seen_ this guy?" He gestured openly to Hunk, whose cheeks were getting just a bit flushed. "Total beefcake. When a frickin' ray of sunshine in human form can carry you like you weigh like a bag of flour, you need to exploit the _hell_ out of-" He finally noticed Allura's slight disapproving look and switched his tracks immediately. "-I mean... _use it_ in learning Etmean dances. Totally what I meant to say."

Hunk smiled down at Lance with a teasing fondness. "Nice save there, man." He said. "Very convincing, I'm sure." He looked to Allura with a raised brow. "Isn't that right, Princess?"

"Yes," Allura said sarcastically. _"Very_ much so."

"Yeah," Pidge said drily. "I'm pretty sure the only person he convinced for more than, like, .2 seconds was himself." They looked to everyone else but Lance. "Group agreement?"

Everyone else nodded almost immediately. Even Suo-miraan, with the slightest bit of hesitation. Lance glanced around at all of them with even more exaggerated offense. Obviously an act, but one he pulled off all too well.

Lance pouted and crossed his arms, sulking in Hunk's own. "It's official," he said. "I have the absolute _worst_ friends in the entire Universe." He opened his arms up to the ceiling. "Zarkon, take me now. I don't wanna be in this reality anymore."

"Nah," Hunk held Lance as close as possible in the closest thing resembling a hug he could really manage in their current position. "You can't go just yet. We still need you," he shot Lance a knowing look. _"Sharpshooter."_

Judging by the expression on Lance's face, that was the last thing he'd been expecting out of a reaction. It was... honestly taken aback. For once, he was caught entirely off-guard. In such a pure unadulterated state of pleasant shock, Lance could only think of one eloquent thing to say while staring at Hunk with wide eyes and raised brows.

 _"...Bro."_ It was one simple whispered word, but it still managed to express everything that needed to be told at the moment. Truly a master of words. Shakespeare himself would (most likely not) be jealous, were he still alive to witness it.

After that, Lance absolutely _melted_ into a mess of flustered giggles in Hunk's arms. Honest-to-God _giggling._ Keith didn't need to see Lance's face to know it was definitely red. His feet kicked up in the air in pure glee, his smile wide and unable to be hidden. Hunk looked satisfied with his work.

It was only a short burst, but it was nice to see that side of Lance while it lasted.

He felt a hesitant hand tap his shoulder. He followed it with his gaze to find Suo-miraan giving him an apologetic look. "Black Paladin," they said quietly, eyes flitting between him and the others talking amongst themselves. "While I have this opportunity... May I ask you something?"

"...Sure," he said uncertainly. "I might not be able to answer it, though. I'll try, but I'm not an expert on..." He waved his hand dismissively. "Certain things." The list was too long to generalize. "What is it?"

"I-It's a social thing," they started wringing their hands together again. "Something I-I've noticed a-about you all that seems..." They trailed off, looking for the right words. They avoided looking at him purposefully, almost... nervously. "Odd." They shrugged. "A-At least, not what I-I'm used to seeing."

"Suo," he placed a hesitant hand on their shoulder, feeling their plates flare up slightly in surprise. They quickly smoothed over again pretty quickly. "Please look at me." They did so cautiously. "I... Look," he didn't really know what to say, but he knew there was no beating around the bush. Just honesty. Maybe empathy would help. "I know it's hard to explain this kind of stuff, but that's okay. I understand." He smiled slightly. "Just tell me what's bothering you." He took his hand off of them.

Suo-miraan stared at him in wide-eyed... not surprise, really. He didn't say anything too surprising. It was more of the look a child would give at hearing someone patiently explain something they initially misunderstood. A lull, a pause in the eyes as they took in the information. Then a click of realization- in this case, that whatever was bothering them was okay to talk about.

"O-Okay," they sighed, their exhale taking up a slight hum. "So, in my short time on the Castle," apparently that humming sigh had calmed them down. "I've noticed... something strange between all of you. The Red Paladin," they gestured to Lance. He saw his brow raise in slight curiosity. But Keith didn't focus on him long, his attention back to Suo as they continued. "is a valuable member of your team like any other." They tilted their head to the side. "...So why do you ridicule him? Is this a... normal behavior among your people?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Lance's voice suddenly sounded behind him. "Espe--"

On Lance's part, popping into a conversation unannounced wasn't the best idea. Especially when you do something like that with no warning behind someone with the instinct to attack anyone who popped in unannounced. No matter what context- in the middle of a battle or a perfectly peaceful bonding session/dance lesson.

On _Keith's_ part, actually acting on those instincts was definitely not the best choice he could've made in that moment. Neither was what he actually did- whirling around without a second thought and coming _infinitesimally close_ to decking him in the face. Thankfully, he was able to realize what he was actually doing and stop just before his fist would've connected with Lance's nose.

Keith immediately moved his hand away when he saw Lance flinch. His brows raised and then creased in concern, anxiety immediately flooding his mind. _God, why did I_ do _that?_ his thoughts demanded. _Oh shit, is he gonna be scared of me now? Are all of them going to be? I almost attacked Lance for just showing up behind me. Oh god oh god oh god--_

Externally, he wasn't doing much better. "Oh my _God,_ Lance," he said immediately. "I am _so sorry,_ I-I wasn't thinking and-"

Lance held up a hand to gesture for him to stop. "Keith, _dude,"_ he said, slinging an arm around Keith's tense shoulders. "You don't have to apologize. It's perfectly fine." He smiled. "I get it. I shouldn't have surprised you like that, but you were fast enough to realize it was me before you actually punched me in the face. So the way I see it..." He shrugged. "No harm done, no problem, and nothing to apologize for."

Keith breathed out a sigh of relief. He let his shoulders loosen, made his body relax. Only then did Lance remove his arm from around them with a bright smile.

"Y'know," Lance said. "I think we've carried this on long enough." He looked to Keith with a raised brow and a teasing grin. "You ready to learn how to dance like an Etmean, Keith?"

"I'm gonna be honest here," he said. "No, I'm not. It's definitely going to be awkward and stiff as hell, and I'd rather not-"

"Come _on,"_ Lance goaded. "Don't lie to yourself like that, Keith. You don't move like that during a fight. What makes you think you're gonna move like that while _dancing?"_

He wanted to say a couple of different things- most of them involving the fact that while he fought, he didn't think at all. His mind could just lean back and let his instincts do all the work with absolute confidence that everything would turn out alright. There was no logical technique to it, no rhyme or reason behind it, it was all just... _natural_ to him. Improvised yet still pretty damn good.

Maybe that was how Hunk or Lance saw dancing, but that wasn't how he did. When he danced, his mind did the complete opposite. It thought way too much about all the little details- worrying endlessly about looking too stupid or not expressive enough. Was he not moving his body enough? Was he moving it too much? It was a constant war between the two sides, resulting in short, very stiff, and _extremely anxious_ dancing. 

Instead, Keith just shrugged tightly. "I dunno," he said. "Just... a gut feeling I have, I guess." He raised a brow and picked the first thing that came to his mind to change the subject before Lance tried to get him to dance some more. "Why don't you and Hunk show me the moves you guys have down? I only saw the ending part."

Lance looked at him suspiciously for a few dragging moments. Almost like he knew Keith was trying to avoid the subject being talked about any more than it already had. Maybe he was considering whether or not to call him out on his bullshit?

But then his expression softened. The suspicion was dropped. "Sure thing," he said. "But you're gonna have to at least learn a little bit today." He raised a brow. "Okay?"

Keith swallowed, ignoring his extremely dry throat. "Yeah," he said. "I'll try."

Lance smiled understandingly. "That's all I'm asking from you, man." He turned around to head back to Hunk. He saw Hunk's mouth move a bit with a quizzical expression, and Lance's hand rest on his shoulder. His expression softened, lips quirking up into a smile as he gestured for Keith to come closer.

They only actually started once they deemed him close enough. Coran joined him, probably to watch for anything to improve upon.

And... _wow._ That was the only word his mind could conjure up as a reaction to how they moved together. They moved close together, always in constant sync. The two of them flowed together fluidly, without a hint of hesitation or discomfort between them. There was no actual music playing in the room, but as he watched them Keith could perfectly imagine the tune they moved along to.

It was light, airy and sweet. Knowing the two of them, probably something poppy and upbeat, yet not superficial. Something tender and tantalizing, capturing attention all too easily. He could even imagine a slight change in the music- shifting to a quiet and echoing tune for a few seconds- at one point where Hunk tapped Lance's right shoulder. As a result of the simple touch, Lance's shoulders rotated smoothly. Hunk held Lance's right wrist, and Lance smoothly whirled around to face him and wrap his left arm around Hunk in a short embrace.

Only when Hunk let go did they move away, farther than the two of them had ever been since starting their dance. For a few split seconds, they were still. Standing in place, looking away from each other.

That changed pretty quickly when Lance finally whirled around to run towards Hunk. Hunk's arms awaited him, holding the new weight close to him as they spun around in the exact move Keith had walked in on. Their smiles were bright and infectious, branching out towards both Coran and Keith.

Finally they slowed to a stop and Hunk let Lance back down. Hunk raised a brow towards them. "So?" He asked. "What do you think?" He glanced to Coran with slight curiosity. "Did we mess anything up that time, or are we still pretty good?"

Coran clapped, smiling and eyes shining with pride. "Don't worry, my boy," he said. "It's still perfect." He looked over to Keith. "Would you like me to teach you some basic Etmean moves, number 3? Nothing as advanced as this," he gestured toward a beaming (and a little sweaty) Lance and Hunk. "But we can build up to that."

"I can teach him." A timid voice sounded behind them. Suo-miraan stood as calmly as they could manage, despite a few short nervous fidgets. "I-I mean, it would probably be easier." They gestured to Coran. "To watch and correct, I mean." They looked to Keith with an extended hand. "I-If you're okay with that, of course, Black Paladin."

"...Sure," he took the hand cautiously. "You know Etmean dances?"

"If 'I was obsessed with it for a year or so' is the same as 'knowing' it," they said, chuckling slightly. "Then yes. I-It's a _long_ st-story." They took his other hand carefully, moving the two away from the group for more room. "I'll just show you the basics today." They raised a brow. "Is that okay with you, Black Paladin?"

Keith nodded. That was an answer enough.

For the next few hours, he learned to loosen up a bit in moving about. It was still stiff as hell, but he was getting there. It was just him and Suo-miraan, who was... surprisingly calm and laid back about it all. They whispered little encouraging reassurances to him whenever he messed up or grew more anxious about it.

_"Sorry," he'd said, shooting them an apologetic smile. "I'm trying to loosen up, really, I just--"_

_"Hey," they'd interrupted him softly. "It's okay if you're not that way dancing with me." They shot him a smile. "I'm sure you'll find the right dance partner at the ball. Despite that, you're doing great."_

They didn't stutter once in those hours. Not even during everyone's pause for lunch.

Finally, Allura pulled away from Pidge and clapped to get everyone's attention. "Alright," she said loudly. "Great job today, everyone!" Coran moved in behind her with a tray of what looked like seven Altean shotglasses full of some clear silvery liquid. 

"That concludes the dancing lessons for today. Now onto the bonding." She continued once she took one shotglass to show everyone. "This is a special brew from one of Etme's neighboring planets- Traryan Serum. It has different outward effects from person to person, but it allows the drinker to relax and tell only the truth." She looked to Keith. "Keith, may you step up here?"

His brows furrowed in slight suspicion, but he still obliged. He could understand why she asked for him- he was the leader for now, he had to set some kind of example. She handed the shotglass over to him and continued explaining.

"Now," she told everyone. "You don't have to drink this if you don't feel comfortable with doing so. It's perfectly safe for all you to consume, but none of us will judge you for it if you decide not to have any." She looked to Keith. "Naturally that goes for you, too." She looked back to the rest of them. "It's just a tool we wish to make available to everyone, just in case you have difficulty opening up."

He stared down at the drink in his hand. The effects sounded a bit daunting to him, but it would certainly help them bond closer together as a team. Plus, if he didn't drink it, how could he expect anyone else to step up and do so. Sometimes in life you had to take a leap of faith. And right now, he found himself staring down a cliffside, wondering whether or not to jump.

It wasn't too difficult to make that decision. He trusted the team. He braced himself and downed the shot quickly, only barely listening to Allura as the cool smoothness flowed down his throat. He could already feel his skin heating up slightly.

"...Now," she told everyone. "In order to keep full cognitive processing without intoxicated impairment, anyone who drinks with have to take very light sips until..." 

When he snapped back to reality, Allura was looking back at him with wide-eyed horror. He wasn't as concerned about it as he probably should have been. His mind was a bit occupied with how... _nice, warm,_ and _fuzzy_ everything was starting to feel. It reminded him of his nebula-patterned security blanket he had as a kid that Shiro's mom eventually threw out behind his back when he was 12.

 _Man,_ did he miss that thing now that he was thinking about it. Losing it tore him apart for _weeks._

...What was he focusing on earlier?

Oh, right. Allura. She was still staring at him for... some reason.

"Princess," he said, tongue suddenly feeling kinda thick and weird in his mouth. "Wha's wrong?"

"Keith," she said evenly. Trying to calm herself down or somethin'. "Did you just drink the _entire_ glass at once? Did you not hear what I _literally just said?"_

He shook his head. "Not really, no."

Well. Least they all knew it worked now.

He heard someone- definitely not the Princess- snicker. It was prob'ly Pidge, judging by the disbelieving smile on their face. "Well, this is definitely gonna be... _interesting."_

He couldn't help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you guys wanna see what I used as inspiration for hunk and lance's dance, here it is- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fI0N6n5eA6I )  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10K words of bonding, lore, and buildup galore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finally done!  
> sorry for skipping out on an update last week- like I predicted, I was super busy with performing my school's fall production so by the time I'd get home I'd be too tired to write much   
> I hope this makes up for it though!

...Keith paused to take another sip of his fruity-tasting Altean Capri Sun-like pouch, sitting cross-legged on the training deck floor in a circle with the others. He clicked his still-heavy tongue after he'd swallowed, finally coming up with a perfect answer to Lance's little teasing question- another question.

"Okay," he said, looking to all of them individually before focusing on Lance. "What in the flying _fuck_ is a 'My Chemical Romance'?"

The room was silent for a few passing moments. Six pairs of eyes stared at him with varying expressions- mostly wide-eyed disbelief from his human teammates, and shared calm curiosity from his alien ones.

 _"Dude,"_ Hunk was the first to speak up after him. "You can't _actually_ be serious."

"What?" Keith quirked up a brow at him. "Do you think I'm _lying?"_ He could still feel the heat in his skin from the drink, so he was definitely still under the effects. At least, it seemed like it. 

It wasn't really a thing he could consciously track or _feel._ It just _showed_ in the subtlest of ways. It showed in his purely relaxed posture, leaning against the cool metal of a box wheeled out for them. Mostly containing more pouches, kinda like the Altean version of a cooler. It showed to him in how his mind was... surprisingly calm for once. No over-analyzing, no freaking out over anything, just nice and completely lax.

That part _definitely_ showed. If they though he was blunt before, he was even more so now. There were literally no filters holding him back from answering any question with complete honesty. Even if the answer was normally embarrassing, so what? He couldn't find it in himself to care about that now, floating in the middle of a calming and comforting sea with no land for _miles._

"Dude," Pidge spoke up. "There's no way. There's _no way in hell_ I believe that _you,"_ he gestured to Keith. "The Castle's resident emo," the timer on their neon green Vrynean comm beeped. They took a little sip of the serum in the shotglass by their knee and continued. "Doesn't know what My Chemical Romance is." They looked to Hunk and Lance. "I can't be the only one who thinks that, right?" They gestured to him. _"Right?"_ The two of them nodded in agreement immediately.

Keith shrugged. "I really don't know who you're talkin' about," he brought the pouch's tiny straw back up to his lips and looked to them innocently. "Maybe you shouldn't generalize people, but that's none of my business." He took a very long sip of the pouch, looking away from them with a hint of smugness he was trying to hide.

A heavy and almost... _tense_ silence followed his statement. One he'd probably feel a bit uncomfortable with usually, but right now he was busy feeling proud of himself and trying desperately not to crack up. He also avoided looking at Pidge, Hunk, or Lance in that time, mainly because he _knew._ He knew what expressions he would get. And he knew that they would definitely cause him to crack in an instant.

He had to keep it together. At least, until someone else spoke up.

Finally, someone did- Lance. _"Dude,"_ he practically whispered, the one simple word full of pure incredulity and disbelief. "Did you just..." He looked over to see Lance's eyes narrow. He hid his blooming smile behind the pouch. "Did you just _quote a fucking meme?_ To call us out?"

Keith nodded. He couldn't take it anymore. The building bubbly happiness was too much to contain, so he finally let it out in a burst of giddy laughter. Another aspect of himself he'd definitely be embarrassed by if he cared even slightly at the moment reared its head- when he laughed too much, he snorted. Nothing too loud, but definitely noticeable. Just one was usually enough to heat up his face in shame and embarrassment, probably enough to send him to hide in his room for at least a few hours.

But not right now.

His laughter right now was littered with them, a unique melody dedicated to happiness and just... not giving a damn in general. He'd drink to that, if his pouch had more than just a few drops in it at the moment.

Eventually it died out, and Keith let the looks of mild surprise he got roll right off his back. "Well," he said. "That's my truth, so..." He looked around at the group, on the hunt for a suitable target. Suo-miraan looked a bit nervous, he didn't want to freak them out too much. The rest of the people around him seemed like interesting pickings. It was only a matter of choosing who he thought would be the _most_ interesting.

His sights finally settled on a fellow Paladin.

"Hunk," he said, looking to the Yellow Paladin with dramatic intensity. "Truth or Dare?"

Hunk considered the question for a few seconds. Pursed lips, far-off look, furrowed brows, stroking chin- the whole enchilada. It took him much too long to settle on an answer, probably for dramatic effect.

"Oh, what the heck," he finally said, meeting Keith's challenging gaze and mirroring it. "Dare."

Keith grinned. He'd been hoping for him to say that. A plan was quickly formulating in his sluggish mind. It was a stupid, stereotypical 'normal'-teenager-at-a-party plan, but what the hell? It was perfectly fine to indulge in that side every once in a while. They needed all the 'normal' teenager stuff they could possibly fit in their chaotic lives. This was a perfect opportunity for one.

"Well Hunk," he said, popping open the cooler and reaching for the only thing needed for his pretty simple plan. "I just want you to know- you chose this. You picked your poison." He pulled out the wine-esque bottle out of the cooler and shut the lid. He set it down on the middle of the circle horizontally and slid it over into Hunk's reach. "Now drink it." He shrugged. "Or spin it, in this case. I just wanted to keep it as a cool one-liner, but I don't actually want you to drink it. I dare you to play spin the bottle."

Usually he'd just feel embarrassed after clarifying that little tidbit. But right now? He was practically surrounded by all the fucks he gave. Which was to say- none at all. Still not embarrassing to clear up.

Allura looked... somewhat interested, glancing from the bottle to Hunk. "I'm guessing this is... some kind of Earthling game?" She quirked up a brow. "What are the rules to it?"

"It's pretty simple, Princess," Hunk looked over to her, one hand still on the bottle. It looked ready for spinning, poised to pounce like a cat in the grass. "I spin the bottle," he did so. The bottle circled around quickly like a roulette wheel. It was only a matter of time to see if this little gamble played off. "And whoever it lands on- points at, technically- I have to--" The bottle slowed to a stop. His brows immediately shot up in surprise.

As did Pidge's, who found the crisp blue lid pointing right at them. 

"It's landed," Suo-miraan said. "What happens next? What does the Yellow Paladin have to do?"

Hunk visibly paled. He looked to Keith pleadingly. "Dude," he said. "Please. Don't make me do this. They're like 14, I'm 18. I don't feel comfortable with this."

Keith nodded in understanding. He probably should have accounted for this possibility before he dared Hunk to do this, but oh well. C'est la vie. Hindsight was always 20/20.

"I get it," he said. "They're like a little sibling to us. Plus they're a minor, so it'd be pretty weird. Ya' can kiss 'em on the cheek or forehead," he paused, letting Hunk sigh in relief before he continued speaking. "But you gotta spin again." He raised a brow. "Sound fair to you?"

Hunk opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it. He sighed in surrender. "Fine," he said, leaning over to Pidge. "It's probably the best I'm gonna get out of this, so..." He brushed Pidge's bangs out of the way and pressed a chaste kiss to their forehead. They didn't move, barely reacted other than softly creased brows and a small smile.

It only lasted a few seconds. Hunk grabbed hold of the bottle once again. He looked to Keith questioningly. "Does that rule apply if it lands on Coran, too?" He only spun the bottle once more when Keith nodded. 

Round and round and round the bottle went. The rest of the circle watched with piqued interest as it kept going. It was a tense couple of seconds, anticipation building up as it started slowing to a stop. Keith had to admit, he found himself sucking in a breath as it slid to point at its new target.

Lance. The new target's brows shot up in immediate surprise. He and Hunk gave each other a look at exactly the same time, deadly silent against the growing chorus of 'oohs'. Keith couldn't help but notice the new rosy tints to both their cheeks as they moved toward each other.

Lance was quickest to hide it with a smile and open arms. "Go ahead, big guy," he said. "Come on over here and give Loverboy Lance a Hunk of your burnin' love." It was certainly enough to make Hunk loosen up his tense shoulders.

"'Loverboy Lance'? Really?" Hunk raised a brow. _"That's_ the best nickname you could give yourself?"

"It's not too bad, actually," he heard Coran mutter to himself. "I've got to keep that one in mind."

Keith raised a brow at him, but that didn't distract him for long. He was quickly roped back into the scene unfolding before all of them. A scene that, Keith noted to himself with a hint of pride, he caused out of a stupid little dare.

"And did you _really_ just quote Elvis at me?" Hunk asked, moving over to Lance slowly. He smiled easily, tense shoulders slowly loosening as the space between them grew smaller. "How long have you been waiting to make that joke, you absolute _dork?"_

"Hey," Lance chided. "That's not important right now. You're stalling. Less teasing, more smooching, alright?"

"Sure thing," he raised a brow and gave Lance one last teasing grin. Their faces were barely inches apart. "After all, no homo, righ-"

He didn't get to finish that statement, with hands cupping his face carefully.

"Shut _up,_ bro," Lance whispered, barely loud enough for the rest of the group to hear, before pulling Hunk's face towards his own. It was quick, mostly covered from the rest of them by Lance's hand. But the rest of the group could see enough to know that they were _actually_ kissing, not just faking it and acting surprised by it.

Though, if Hunk had been acting, he would have done a pretty damn good job at it. His eyebrows had shot up the moment Lance pulled their faces closer, and they had only come back down the slightest bit. He relaxed into it a little. Not completely at ease with the situation, but also not completely against it either.

It was a brief and very mild kiss, only a few seconds at least of closed lips pressed to another. But judging from the expressions on Lance and Hunk's faces, it probably felt like much longer. 

Hunk looked like he was still in shock. Like he hadn't completely processed the fact that the past few seconds had actually happened to him yet. Keith could practically see the cogs spinning rapidly in his head.

Lance, on the other hand? Completely at ease. The facial equivalent of the glassy surface of a clear and calm sea. There was a bit of flush coloring his skin, but other than that he looked completely unaffected by what he just did. He looked over to Keith easily, with a tilted head and raised brow. "There you go, Samurai," he looked over to Hunk and elbowed him. "It's your turn now. And you're welcome, man." He winked.

Hunk avoided looking at any of them, his eyes instead locked in to the floor. He picked up the bottle and slid it back to Keith. He took it readily, opening up the lid to the Altean cooler to put it back in its rightful place. It had served its unintentional purpose quite well. He turned away from the group momentarily to do so, and to pick out yet another pouch. He needed to stay hydrated, after all.

And if he smiled to himself in satisfaction at what he'd done, they'd all be none the wiser.

The game continued for quite a while before it went back to him. Almost too long, in fact. Almost like they were trying to avoid giving him a turn in fear of what he might come up with next. Usually the concept of that would make him bristle, or at least make him feel a bit hurt. But he knew they weren't afraid of him for any _serious_ reasons. So why bother sulking to himself over it?

He wasn't going to lie to himself- mainly cause he _couldn't really lie at all-_ and not admit part of him... kind of liked it. Not like they were outright afraid of _him-_ just what dares or questions he could possibly come up with next. He had ideas, but none were as devious as the others probably thought he was cooking up in his mind.

Did they need to know that right now, though? Of course not. He took this opportunity to indulge in a little lighthearted mischief. After how serious things had almost constantly been for the past few months, having a bit of teasing fun with the team was long overdue. It helped take his mind off of things. 

If that meant letting the team believe he was planning something ''dastardly,'' so be it.

But he wouldn't be alone in that camp for long. A brave challenger rose up to see just what he had. The one who was infamous for mischievous deeds during downtime- Pidge. Once they had finished their dare of drinking the rest of their serum shot (much to Allura's obvious disdain), they immediately looked to him. Their pale skin was flushed with the rosy fermented rush he'd experienced. Their eyes shone with challenge, even when they were dimmed by inebriation.

"So, _Keith,"_ they slurred, leaning forward slightly. "Truth or dare?"

Keith was quick to rise to the unspoken challenge. He was already primed and ready to do or answer whatever it was they had in mind. Whatever it was, he knew it was going to be interesting. The only question was- which poison should he pick?

Dare would normally be the obvious answer, but it was too boring. Too simple to a person like him, ready to tackle any challenge unfortunate enough to find itself in his way head-on. Truth would've been easy, considering he could normally just lie and pass it off as truth.

But adding the serum into the mix made that impossible. Left him at their mercy if he picked that option. They could ask him anything and he wouldn't find a problem with answering it. He was conscious enough to know that, but was he conscious enough to care about that fact much?

"Truth."

Of course not.

Pidge's brows raised slightly. But not in surprise or shock. They looked like they'd been expecting that answer. They looked up for a moment, lips pursed tight and tilted, in consideration. Now it was their turn to make a choice- just what to ask him when he was at his most unabashedly candid? The possibilities were probably endless in their mind.

Finally they looked back to him with an impish smile. It seemed they finally had their ideal question. He could only guess at what it was for a moment before they started.

"Okay," they clicked their tongue. "I think this is somethin' we all," they gestured openly to the rest of the team. "Wanna know 'bout you." They cocked up a brow. "You've told us a bit 'bout this 'Lotor' guy, but somethin' still seems a bit weird to me. Somethin' I can't help but wonder." They intertwined their fingers and let their chin rest on them. "You seem comfortable enough with 'im to go completely alone and unarmed with 'im. That's an unexpected from you. He has to be more than just some half Galra prince you met on Vrynea." They tilted their head to the side, finally coming up to the actual question. "So who is 'e to you, Keith? Relationship-wise, I mean."

Ah. So they went with the Lotor question. He had to admit, that wasn't very surprising. He could understand why they'd want to know more about him though. This was probably the best opportunity they'd get for a one hundred percent honest answer from Keith.

Which wasn't really tough to get out. He hummed in contemplation, noting the growing interest in almost everyone's expressions. Pidge apparently wasn't the only one curious about him.

"I don't really know," he admitted. "I like Lotor, I do. A lot more than I expected to. He's nice to talk to and just hang out with." He let his relaxed mind roam, and his thoughts found themselves on his tongue with hardly any effort from him. "He just has this... _air_ about him, y'know? Like, you could say _literally anything_ to him and he wouldn't judge you for it. Or when you talk at all, it feels like he really _listens_ to you and everything you want to say." 

He took a pause to sip from the pouch. His throat was get a bit dry. No one else talked to try and steer the subject away, so he just... kept on going. He didn't have a problem venting and rambling out his feelings about Lotor to the team. 

They were all friends, right? Even Suo was starting to grow on him as one. 'Talking' (rambling was probably the better word for it) about people they kinda liked was the kind of thing friends did with each other, right?

Even if it wasn't, it was what he was gonna do.

"Even the things you _don't_ say," he finally continued, his attention disconnecting from reality. His mind instead settled on looking through recent memories. "He doesn't ask more about. If you don't wanna talk about it, you don't wanna talk about it." He put an elbow on the cooler lid, leaning against his knuckles with an easy grin. "He's so... _respectful_ and _considerate_ like that. When I asked him not to call me 'Black Paladin' when we met, he obliged. Hasn't called me that since."

He let out a light sigh.

 _"God,"_ he said, looking up at the ceiling. "I could talk about him for _ages,"_ it was a nice momentary high to ride, but he knew he had to come back down. He didn't want to bore the team, after all. "...but I'll just stop there." He looked back to Pidge. "Is that enough to answer your question?"

Pidge openly pondered the question. Brows furrowed, far-off and up look, the whole deal. Even went so far as to bite at the inside of their cheek for a moment. Finally, it seemed like they reached a verdict. They looked to him simply, their features relaxing. "No, actually," they finally spoke up. "You say you don't know," they shrugged. "And don' get me wrong, I believe you think you don't. You're not lyin' to us." They leaned forward slightly. "But I do believe you're lyin' to yourself. Ya just haven't realized it yet."

He raised a brow at that. _"What?"_ he asked. "What do you even _mean_ by that?"

They gestured to him. "You obviously like the guy in _some_ way," they told him. "If you were anyone else, I'd probably tell ya' you're pining so much you're practically a fuckin' _forest."_ They looked to their left side, right where Hunk and Lance were sitting. _"Right?_ Tell me I'm not the only one who sees it, guys."

"Oh, definitely," Hunk said with a quick nod. He seemed to have recovered completely from his earlier shock. "I hate to say this, dude, but..." He looked to Keith apologetically. "It's not subtle in the slightest. The only way it could be more obvious is if you got a big neon sign with 'I _really_ like this guy' with you at all times." He smiled, elbowing Lance in the side. "I mean, even _Lance_ makes it less obvious than you do." He looked over to Lance. "Right, bro?"

He jolted subtly, raising a brow at that statement. "What do you mean by that, Hunk?" He asked. If Keith didn't know him any better, he'd think Lance sounded almost... _nervous_ about something. It might have just been his imagination, but the hints were definitely there. At least, that's how he interpreted it. Maybe he just hadn't expected to be called out like that.

It didn't seem to bother Hunk at all. "I _mean,"_ he started to explain. "You flirt with anything even _vaguely_ female." He gestured over to Allura. "Exhibit A." She didn't seem too bothered by that- just a simple shrug and nod of agreement. He looked back to Lance. "Trust me, man-" he placed a hand on Lance's shoulder. His gaze flickered on Hunk's hand for a brief moment before returning to look in his eyes. "When you like someone, like _really_ like someone, you don't make it subtle at _all."_

Lance's brows raised, mild realization dawning on his expression. "Ohh," he said, quickly nodding. "I get what you mean."

Hunk looked back over to the rest of the group. "When he likes someone, he acts so _weirdly quiet_ around them." Lance shifted in place, glancing down at the floor as Hunk continued. "But god, you guys can't _imagine_ how much he'd talk about them to me back at school. Every detail about them he knew, gushing about how wonderful they were and anything possibly positive about them." He looked over to Keith. "And you know, I'm getting those vibes from you." 

Lance quietly nodded, shoulders slightly tense and quickly glancing to Hunk's hand still resting on him a few times. His teeth worried on his bottom lip. His brows were furrowed, head tilted down. Probably out of embarrassment from being fully and completely called out. Keith didn't focus on those details much after coming up with that conclusion.

Suo-miraan finally spoke up for the first time in the past 15 minutes or so. They nodded, green eyes focusing on him. "I-I wasn't going to say anything about it at first, but I couldn't h-help but notice it too." They raised a brow curiously. "I-If I may, would you mind much i-if I asked you something, Black Paladin?" Their look softened. "W-Wait, do you not want me to call you that e-either, or...?"

"It's fine," Keith assured them. "You can call me that if you want. I just wasn't comfortable with it when Lotor and I first met." He looked to them inquisitively. "What do you wanna ask?"

They visibly calmed, letting out a humming sigh of relief. "Oh, good," they said. "You all saved my life- All'hiram de all'ei- I-I would hate to accidentally offend _any_ of you." They looked back to him calmly. He raised a brow at the new phrase. "'A life saved, a life owed' in my native tongue, if you wish to know." They waved the notion away. "But that's not important right now, sorry. I'll stay on track now. The real important thing is this- have you ever heard any legends about the Creators?"

Keith shrugged at that. "Just a bit," he admitted. "The ones once linked to Galran culture, at least. Lotor told me a bit about them. Mainly mentioned Marmora, Arakhu, and their kids. He hasn't told me much about them yet, though. Hasn't had much of a chance yet, after all the recent chaos that started a little bit afterwards." He raised a brow. "Why do you ask?"

Their brows raised in slight surprise when he mentioned what he knew. "It's funny you mention Marmora and Arakhu, actually," they started. "In Etmean legend, they might be tied to you two." They looked to him quizzically. "Sorry for going i-into your personal business, but do you feel... _tied to_ Lotor? Drawn to him in some way you can't seem to explain or completely understand?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't see much of a point in doing so. Nodding would work just as well. It was certainly easier than trying to argue a certain and self-assured fact. So he just simply nodded. But he did manage to think up another question. "Why do you ask, though?"

"Keith," Allura was the one to speak up this time, taking up the mantle. "Do you recall the name of the ball we're going to on Etme in a few days?"

Keith tried, he really did. But he came up empty on the name. He looked to the Princess sitting next to him and shook his head. "Can't say I do, no." He wasn't ashamed to admit it. Why would he be? It had been a hectic past day and a half for him. He couldn't recall _every_ detail people gave him. "What is it again? And, uh... _why_ is it so important right now?

Allura looked over to Coran. "Would you mind telling him the story?" She shrugged. "After all, it's likely you remember more than I do." She explained to Keith, glancing over to him. "Legends of the Creators were never my strong suit. Alteans never spent much time focusing on deities. I was only taught enough not to offend any particularly passionate diplomats."

Coran nodded in obligation, leaning over to get a good sight of Keith. "It's called the Two-Moon Ball." He started. "As legend tells it, Arakhu and Marmora couldn't see each other as often as they wanted to. He had to lead his large clan of people, and she was a Creator of the Universe." He held out his hands palms-up and moved them up and down. Probably imitating an uneven scale. "Their schedules barely ever lined up to see each other for long." He put his hands down on his cross-legged lap. "Ushara, the Creator of Fate and Circumstance, knew how they longed to see each other. As did an ancient Etmean coupling of three, stuck in the same situation."

Keith listened as intently as he possibly could. Which was weird, considering religious stories never really interested him much. They were okay, but they never really hooked in his interest like this one currently was. Maybe he just wanted to know more about his native people's past culture. Maybe it was told in a way that enraptured him easier. Maybe it was because this story was going to be more relevant soon enough. Maybe it was some other reason even he didn't know yet. Or maybe it was some combination.

He had no real idea why, yet here he was. Completely invested in a Galran religious legend. The others were listening with at least partial interest, but there was no way they were as intrigued by it as he currently was.

"So what did Ushara do about it, then?" Keith couldn't help but ask. "They're a Creator. There had to be _something_ they could do to fix both problems."

Coran smiled knowingly and pointed to him. A twinkle of pride shone brightly in his lilac eyes. "In fact, there was," he said. "That's where the moons come in." He looked to Allura. "Would you like to explain this part, Princess?"

Allura straightened her back, brushing a few stray hairs out of her face. "As a matter of fact," she said. "I would." Her crystalline blue eyes had a similar twinkle to them- not pride necessarily, but excitement. Passion. "So Etme's system is utterly _fascinating._ Mainly because unlike any other system, there's no sun or other varying star. Just a large glowing blue moon revolving around it at all times." 

She started gesturing with her hands as she spoke. He tried not to pay much attention to the peeking scar on her right palm, he really did. It was just... difficult for him not to notice and remember. At least it didn't seem to bother Allura much at the moment. She was likely too wrapped up in her explanation to even notice it.

"And the surface of it isn't even _hot,"_ she said excitedly. "Sure, it has some crevices oozing hot gases that warms up its own atmosphere and those of planets around it. But quite a sizable population lives on the surface, for the polished stone that makes up most of the moon is actually quite cool to the touch. It's bright enough to light up itself, the smaller moon, and Etme all at once." When she smiled, it was a bright beam of obvious interest. "The two moons revolve around Etme cycle after cycle, only in the same place once a year in roughly the same place- where the Etmeans eventually built their Castle. At that time, night and day collide for a few hours." She shrugged. "It's difficult to pinpoint why from a scientific standpoint, but I do appreciate the ancient legendary explanation for it."

"Oh?" Hunk raised a brow. He'd grown to look a bit more interested, as did Pidge. Lance looked... His expression was hard to accurately describe, but it looked like a mix of mild admiration and awe. It was harder to interpret than his usual expressions. Almost like he was trying to hide it. "What is it, then?"

Coran stepped right back in to explain. "As legend says, Ushara shaped both couples' fates to wind up on Etme at around the same place at the same time- when the moons would meet again." He looked to Suo. "Suo-miraan, since you brought it up, would you care to explain why that's significant?"

Suo raised their brows, seemingly surprised that attention was being pointed at them once again. They quickly nodded. "O-Of course," they said. "I'd love to." They shifted a bit, and he couldn't help but feel like they looked kind of... _uncomfortable_ with this. Reluctant even.

Allura's brows furrowed in slight concern. Apparently she saw it too. "Is something the matter, Suo?" She asked gently. "If you don't wish to explain it, you don't have to." She gestured to Coran. "He just wanted to give you an opportunity to-"

"I know, Princess," they cut in. "I-I want to explain it, I p-promise, it's just..." They forced themselves to relax with a sigh. Their shoulders loosened. They looked over to Coran. "I-I just wasn't expecting you to give me an opportunity to explain. I thought you were just going to keep going and..." They glanced down to the floor. "And ignore me, honestly." They immediately looked up, holding their hands up in a conciliatory manner. "N-Not that I think lowly o-of any of y-you, of c-course- i-it's just that..." They trailed off, searching for the right words to say and apparently coming up short. They hummed in frustration and buried their face in their hands. "I-I'm so sorry," they muttered, mandibles flat against their face for once. "I-I-I just k-keep wasting a-all y-your valuable t-time."

"Hey," Keith spoke up before he even thought up of something to say. It was immediate, instinctual and completely unfiltered by previous thought. "It's okay." He reached over and put a reassuring hand on their shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for. You're not wasting any time of ours. Take _your_ time if you want to talk about it." He shrugged. "And just remember, not talking about it is still an option." They looked to him in honest surprise. He smiled at them softly. "We're not gonna force you to say anything you don't want to." He glanced over to the rest of the team. "Right, guys?"

Immediately everyone else nodded in agreement. Who their attention was focused on and their expressions varied person to person, but he could tell they were all paying attention to it. Some- Hunk, Lance, and Allura namely- looked to Suo with concern and carried their own reassuring smiles. Others- Pidge and Coran- looked to him with... something that looked like a mix of interest and slight surprise. He wasn't exactly sure why- maybe they saw something he didn't- but that didn't matter too much to him at the moment.

Suo-miraan's eyes were wider than he'd ever seen them before. Their pupil slits were small and wire-thin, pointed directly at him. For a few moments, that's all they did- stare both at him and the rest of the team all around them. Their mandibles fluttered along to the rhythm of their breathing, thin muddled brown pieces of skin horizontally closing in over their eyes in a form of blinking.

Finally, they smiled and moved a little bit away from him. "Thank you, Black Paladin," they said, emerald eyes focused entirely on him as they started to explain their original topic. "I did have a-a reason for asking about your possible connection with this 'Prince Lotor.'" They gestured to Coran. "As Coran told all of you, Ushara is the Creator of Fate. One of her rarest and oldest-recorded abilities involves bringing the fates of certain individuals _extremely_ close. They're connected in a celestial way, and such a bond can't ever be broken."

"Wait," Pidge piped up. "That sounds... kinda like our connection with the Lions." They looked to the Alteans questioningly. "Was that just a coincidence, or did ya' guys figure out how to do that yourselves?"

"Just a coincidence," Coran answered easily. "I know it sounds like the same thing, but it's really not. A built up Lion bond is extremely strong, but it can still be disconnected or entirely broken." He gestured to Suo-miraan. "As our friend here has illustrated, a bond like that is completely unbreakable. Only by death does it end." He glanced over to Keith knowingly. "And _that's_ not guaranteed in some select cases. It's not completely unheard of for both members of the bond to cheat death. On multiple occasions, even."

Keith couldn't help but mull that over for a moment. Is _that_ what the second part of his dream meant? That godlike figure did seem... awfully familiar. Maybe it was Ushara, trying to prod him on a better path a little bit? It seemed possible. It would have sounded completely and utterly crazy a couple months back, but now it made sense to him. Made him think.

"Indeed," Suo continued. "Members of these rare bonds can feel pulled towards each other. Subconsciously _compelled_ to, in a few cases. When they come together, they are destined to make their mark on the Universe and its history." Their face fell. "...Not always in a good way, however. Members of a bond are destined either to help or to hurt- either each other or the Universe. It's not mutually exclusive in the long run."

"You mean like Zarkon and Honerva?" Keith asked without thinking. Part of him immediately regretted it when he saw Coran and Allura's look of pure shock. The two of them looked absolutely _horrified_ at the second name, like a superstitious theatre person at 'Macbeth' just before a performance. "What?"

"Keith," Allura was the first to collect herself. She still looked more than a bit shaken, but she was trying hard to hide that. Just not hard enough. "We-"

Coran, on the other hand, was a completely different story. His subtle wrinkles seemed more noticeable in that moment, his long years of living through a slowly developing war all the more obvious just from the look in his eyes. He'd paled a bit, eyes wide and almost... haunted. When he spoke, his voice was a withering whisper. _"How do you know that name?"_

"Wait, hold on," Hunk said before Keith could answer. He raised a brow. "We're definitely missing some context here. Coran, Allura, what's wrong? Who's Honerva?"

Allura immediately moved over to Coran. He was completely stock still, save for the occasional subtle tremble. The violent shock on his face had thankfully dissipated, but his eyes were distant and shining with threatening tears. They were likely peering into the distant past, and judging from the shine, they didn't like what they saw. The Princess held him easily, almost in a practiced position.

A pang of guilt hit Keith in the chest like a baseball bat at the sight. He caused this. Even if rising this reaction definitely wasn't his intention, he still caused it to take place. Allura's eyes met his. He shot her a questioning look, hesitantly moving closer to the two. Nonverbally asking for permission to try and help fix the mess he created. It was the least he could do.

Thankfully, she understood. Her gaze wasn't hard on him in the slightest, instead filled with a soft sense of sadness. It still stung her, but not as much as it did Coran or even Black. She shot him a reassuring smile and shook her head. She had this.

So instead, he set to explain to the others the gravity of what he'd thoughtlessly blurted out. Might as well give context behind why that had sent Coran into an unintended attack of some kind while Allura soothed him. "Black told me a bit about her," he said. "She was Zarkon's wife." He looked down at the floor guiltily. "Zarkon's _Altean_ wife."

The silence that shrouded the room reminded him of one right after an explosion- an anxious rippling energy all throughout, a sense of quiet dread, and complete shock reaching in with cold and bony fingers. The tension in the room was so thick, not even his bayard could have possibly cut through it. The only sounds that filled that silence only made him feel worse- Allura's soft questioning in an attempt to get Coran back into reality.... And Coran's shallow breathing. It was like he couldn't get enough no matter how much he got, always reaching for more. It was desperate, likely trying _so hard_ to calm himself down.

None of them seemed to know what to say. At least he wasn't alone in that aspect for once. They all waited out the storm wracking through Coran's body patiently and in complete silence. There was no need for words. Barely a breath was taken in the sheer anticipation, the hope that the storm would pass soon.

When it finally did, it had probably only been five minutes. Maybe even less than that. But it had felt like hours of balancing on a razor-thin wire above a churning black ocean. Coran sat up, wiping at his eyes with a tired sigh. The remaining tension in his body left with it, leaving him deflated but fully lucid.

"Coran," Keith was the first person to speak up. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking about what I was saying. I should have known better. If I had-"

Coran interrupted him with a simple hand gesturing for him to stop. He shot Keith a small smile. "It's alright, my boy," he assured. "There was no way you could have known I'd have that reaction." He shrugged, chuckling a bit. _"I_ certainly didn't. Guess it still stings a bit more than I realized." He glanced out to the rest of the team. "My apologies for concerning all of you, truly. I'll try and make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Ya' don't have to apologize," Pidge responded casually, like their words still weren't extremely slurred. "You've been through a lot in life. 'S a natural response to it." They smiled. "We understand that completely, so don' worry 'bout it."

"Thank you, Pidge." He said. "I appreciate that more than you can possibly know." He glanced back to Keith. "And to answer your question- yes, the two of them were indeed bonded in that way. It was obvious even without going to the Etmean ball, where either moon shines their light on any bonded pairs present. Another gift from Ushara, showing to Marmora and Arakhu along with the Etmean couple that they were destined for each other. It's a highly valued tradition and celebration in Etmean culture now."

Keith nodded in understanding. The puzzle pieces of this discussion were quickly connecting. Mainly the reason why it even started in the first place- his peculiar subconscious pull to Lotor. Something he used to have no way of properly explaining was now at least connected to a theory. He wouldn't take it as a concrete answer yet, but it was certainly a start.

His gaze went once again to Suo-miraan. "You think Lotor and I have this... 'celestial bond' thing." He said it outright, as a statement rather than a question. His voice was flat and practically emotionless. Considering all he'd heard of the celestial bond (especially the 'they're destined either to help or hurt the Universe and/or each other' bit), he wasn't quite sure how to feel about the concept yet. 

He could only hope that things wouldn't turn out between him and Lotor like they did with Zarkon and Honerva if it was true.

Suo nodded quickly. "Considering what I've heard about you two, yes." They shrugged. "Of course, it's just a theory at this point." They rose to their feet, towering over all the sitting figures around them. They gave him a wry look, packed to the brim with a knowing air. "The moonlight can also point out just a member of a celestial bond, so there's only one way to know for sure." They smiled. "Guess we'll just have to see at the ball."

They turned around and left the room without another word or glance. Keith stared at them, watching them leave absentmindedly until he realized he was staring at the now-shut door. Even when he snapped back into the ever-spinning wheel of reality, his mind was still racing to process what they were implying.

Allura cleared her throat loudly, breaking the light and uncertain silence. "Well," she said. "That's certainly one way to end today's bonding session. You all have a free hour and a half." She moved into a standing position. "Meet back in the dining hall at the end of that time for dinner." She took one more look at all of them before giving them all a curt nod. "Dismissed."

Keith was quick to leave the room, first one out of the door even. He drank the rest of his drink pouch on the way back to his room idly. The effects of the serum were starting to wear off. The warmth was draining away quickly. The hazy pleasant fog on his mind was clearing up even faster than that, paving the way for his rush of troubled thoughts to swirl in and completely occupy his mind once more.

The warmth and haziness purged from his system by the time he'd gotten inside his room. It left a ringing trail behind it, both in his head and trailing to churn in his stomach. Not enough to be completely distracting, but pretty damn close. He'd originally planned on calling Lotor and maybe talking about what he'd just discovered. 

But as he shuffled over to his bed and let himself fall, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Just the thought of bright lights and just _talking_ in general couldn't have ever sounded less appealing to him than it did right now. He couldn't do it- not even for Lotor, 'celestial bond' or no.

Keith laid his comm down on his bedside table. As tempting as using it was, a different and much more dominant siren song was enthralling his mind and body. He kicked his boots off haphazardly, letting them fly where they may. The sound of them hitting the floor rung in his ears, vibrating into his sensitive mind just a bit too roughly. He winced at the sound and let out a trailing groan.

"Light level 5%," he called, burrowing into his blanket. It soon became his cocoon's skin, his fabric shield against the punishments of the rest of the universe. He let his eyes flutter shut as the lights immediately dimmed to almost complete pitch-black darkness. A sigh of contentedness flowed from his lips freely as the annoying pains lessened considerably.

For a moment, Keith worried about falling asleep. Sleep invited dreams in openly, allowing for cryptic clues and puzzling pictures galore. He didn't want to deal with another existential headache anytime soon. If he was of a stronger mind, he would have at least opened his eyes. Basked in the blessed silence.

Thing is, he didn't. He was so _tired-_ mind and body alike. All his energy seemed to go with the drink-provided warmth and easy happiness. Right now he just wanted to satisfy his deep desire for sleep to stave off the after effects of the serum. Right now, he was willing to do almost anything for that. Even risking yet another session of pure confusion.

Besides- he reasoned in the safety of his own thoughts- he always took a while to fall asleep anyways. There was barely a chance this was going to be an exception. He just wanted to give his eyes a rest for a little bit. It lessened his throbbing headache considerably. There was no harm in that, right? He was certain that he'd be able to stay somewhat conscious throughout his little bit of downtime.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

He drifted off to sleep with a calm smile just a few moments afterwards.

When Keith opened his eyes, he wasn't in his room. Not even close. For starters, there were no boundaries around him. No subtle hum of machinery. No slight heat of fabric wrapped around his skin. For what felt like forever, almost everything he could see around him was a purple nebula with differing hues of intermingling space dust and millions of scintillating stars. Yet he didn't feel the cold and weightlessness usually associated with the vacuum of space surrounding him. It was like something was tying him down, making him feel almost... _grounded_ despite the seeming lack thereof under him.

When his eyes trailed down to his feet, he could easily see why.

Under him was his lone lifeline- a glowing white tightrope. It was thin- barely bigger than a strand of silken spider web. That was his only defense against the beautiful yet cruel void that would swallow him entirely without a second thought. Something that would usually not console him in the slightest, but this situation felt... different somehow. He wasn't afraid at all. When he stepped forward, it was in complete faith that he'd be kept safe.

One step turned into another. Then yet another one. So on and so forth for what felt like a stretch of eternity, with no viable end in sight. Each step wasn't a conscious choice of his, just his body working according to its own will. It felt like he was being pulled, inch by inch, to some kind of objective miles away. He didn't really mind the trip. It felt like he had absolutely all the time in the universe to get to it.

When the objective came into his sight, his jaw immediately _dropped._ Not because he didn't totally expect what it was, but rather because of how unbelievably _stunning_ the surroundings made them look.

The stars' glittering lights seemed to shine twice as bright in Lotor's silken locks, his skin kissed by the dazzling remnants of heaven. His eyes were solar systems all their own- giant blazing suns, identically beautiful deep blue ocean planets, and the moons left in the planets' pitch-black shadows. His pearlescent white robes made him think of every rare good memory of Earth- every moment of joy, every moment of triumph, every moment of perfectly comfortable quiet. It looked oddly familiar, but for a moment he couldn't place why.

But then he realized it.

Lotor was wearing the exact same robes as he wore back on Vrynea. The night they first met, the night that felt like a lifetime ago. The moments that seemed to change his life, hopefully for the better in the scheme of things.

Keith stopped suddenly. His surroundings dimmed and darkened, nebulous dust churning akin to foreboding storm clouds. Lotor mirrored him a few feet away, yet with a soft yet slightly confused expression.

"Keith," he said softly. "Are you-"

"No." Keith's hands clenched into a fist. The tension in his body became much like the rope under his feet- stretched thin, tightening with every passing second, wavering with a fearful energy. He looked to the dream version of Lotor with a hard expression. "I'm _not_ okay, Marmora or Ushara or whatever the _fuck_ your name is." The nebulous dust gravitated towards him, starting to whirl around him slowly as he continued to speak.

"I'm so _tired_ of all your little 'hints'," he spat out like it was venom burning his throat from the inside out. "If this is how you want to help me, then I don't need or even _want_ your help." The dusty wind started to kick up as his bubbling temper flared up, his own personal storm. "I don't need you to remind me about the fact that my life is chaotic as all hell. I don't want you to show me hints I have no way of fucking understanding." He pointed an accusatory finger at the shocked imposter with an icy glare. "And I _certainly_ don't need you to ruin one of the best things I've got right now, _thank you very much."_ The winds whipped around him as 'Lotor' stepped toward him. "So please _get the hell out of my head."_

"I can't." 'Lotor' told him quietly, yet he still heard it clear as day. Even through the solar wind whistling in his ears, he could still hear that voice clear as a bell. His chest tightened involuntarily. It felt like he could hardly breathe, toxic smoke from his own concoction clogging up his throat.

Keith's eyes narrowed slightly. His brows furrowed in furious confusion. "What the hell do you mean 'you can't'?!" He demanded. The winds picked up, reflecting the brewing storm of mixed volatile feelings whirling inside of him much too well. "I just want to be left alone, instead of-"

The storm was affecting both of them now yet Lotor didn't flinch. Didn't even hesitate in moving closer, enveloping himself in the darkening purple attempting to wall him off from Keith. His thin white brows were drawn hard, but not harsh. His lips were in a thin line. His eyes burned their gaze into Keith akin to blazing suns. He looked absolutely _determined_ to get closer.

That scared the absolute _shit_ out of him. It was a primal, instinctual, _conditioned_ fear with old and deep roots in his psyche. He couldn't do anything about it.

"I'm not a deity trying to mess with you," Lotor told him calmly. "I'm not even a separate entity, not entirely. That's why I can't leave your head," he gestured out around him. "Because I'm just a part of it. A part of your subconscious, here mainly to tell you to _get your shit together."_

The winds paused for a split second. The anger melted off his expression immediately. The winds around him continued, but at a less harsh pace now. "What..." He spoke up. "What are you talking about?"

"We've been doing much better these past couple months, I have to admit." The form of Lotor didn't shift, even when he now knew it wasn't truly the half-Galra prince. They shrugged. "You've bonded with your team, your new Lion, even the real Lotor pretty damn well. It's not a bad start at all." They glanced to him with a piercing accusatory glare, gesturing at the storm desperately trying to throw him off the tightrope. "But you're still afraid. Even now, in a space of your own creation, _this_ is what you come up with."

"I..." Keith desperately reached for _something_ to say. Finally he came up with a pretty fitting question. "Why are you blaming me for all of this if you're a part of me? Why is it just _my_ fault?"

Lotor regarded him calmly. "Because that is the part of you I represent," he said, taking another step closer. "I represent every time you thought 'Why am I still like this?'" Another step. "Every time you played embarrassing moments from months earlier, criticizing everything you did wrong in those moments." Yet another step. "And, more recently, I represent your cautions about this one." They gestured to their form. "Your bond with Black has just allowed me a louder voice, considering her empathy with each of those examples." 

God _damnit._

"I know," Lotor said, looking to him with a tinge of sympathy. "You just want a bit of peaceful sleep. Dealing with all of this is frustrating. But this is my only shot, and I refuse to throw it away. It would be a crime to let you hide yourself away any longer. Not just to you, but to the team." They gestured to their form. "To him. You hide yourself away from them to protect yourself from being hurt and abandoned once again. It's easier in the short run, but long term?" Another step forward. The string started to quiver. "Not so much. You need to be honest with them, completely and utterly."

"I was, though," he said. "Just a couple minutes ago, during the whole bonding session."

The projection wearing Lotor's form simply shrugged. "That's true, in some degree." They raised a brow at him. "But we both know they don't know everything we believe they should." For just a moment, Keith wondered what they meant. But then he saw their eyes purposefully linger on two specific spots- first his chest, and then his left shoulder.

What they meant clicked in his mind immediately. "Oh," was all he could say to the revelation.

They nodded sagely. "Indeed," they said, taking another step. "It's a terrifying prospect, I know- letting people closer to you just allows them a shorter knife. Especially this one." They looked to him knowingly. "Prince Lotor's an unknown. You don't know if he can truly be trusted, yet you trust him more than you think you should. He makes you feel happy just being in his attention. Even without the recent additional details of a bond possibly leading to ruin, that's unusual. It's a chance, one you're not sure you _should_ take," they stepped to the border of his wall of wind. Their eyes glowed golden. "Yet it's one you _want_ to."

They held out a lilac hand to him in silent offering. It protruded into his eye of the storm, as calm and still as the isolatory space he made for himself. The tightrope under him was thrumming with energy, sending subtle vibrations up his skin to what felt like his very core. For a moment, he found himself reaching for the hand before jerking it away.

He couldn't help but hesitate. "What..." He said softly, gaze focused nervously on the offering hand. "What happens if I don't take it?"

The projection shrugged calmly and gestured to the storm. "Nothing changes, and this continues. You stay safe in your bubble of isolation, and you will not hear from me again either way." The hand stretched out just a tiny bit more for him. It was now easily in his reach. He glanced up at the projection's face, partially covered by Lotor's hair flowing with the wind.

They were smiling.

"But sometimes in life, Keith," they said, voice growing softer. Harder to hear, almost... fading. "You have to take a leap of blind faith in order for things to get better. But I must advise you do it soon, for great change is on the horizon either way."

Keith mulled that over. He trusted the team, and he trusted Lotor. Yet both parties didn't completely know something about him, or at least he could only assume they didn't. He could see the team being accepting of him, so it shouldn't really change anything between them. But telling Lotor what truly happened that night a week ago? Would the prince even _want_ to know about that? He had no idea right now.

Guess the projection's words really were true in that case. There was no real way of knowing how Lotor would react to that information except to just give it to him.

Keith took the projection's hand. The projection stepped through the barrier in front of them easily, joining him in his lonely little bubble. They certainly got Lotor's soft adoration down like a natural pro. Having Lotor so close to him- even when he knew it wasn't really the prince at all- made his stomach flip. Made his heart stutter and beat irregularly.

The projection didn't help either of those things at all. In fact, they only spurred those reactions on by getting even closer. Their other hand rested on his left arm, thumb softly grazing his skin. The lilting chuckle that filled the air sounded _exactly_ like Lotor's. The projection bent down to face level, moving their upturned lips over to Keith's ear.

Keith didn't dare move. Barely even breathed as his heart instinctively sped up just a bit.

The projection only whispered one thing in his ear.

"Wow," Keith couldn't suppress a shiver as they adopted Lotor's sultry purr. "You really _do_ like him, don't you?"

The tightrope finally snapped, sending the two plummeting down into the void of his own dream.

Keith jerked up in his bed, breathing heavily and temporarily ignorant to the waking pains of his hangover. They only creeped back in once he'd calmed himself down and truly processed his own dream. It had definitely been really _weird,_ but it actually... made him feel better mentally. Gave him incentive to do something he'd been meaning to anyways.

Might as well get it over and done with, right? They were a team. He didn't want to mess their carefully-built dynamic up just cause he didn't trust them with the information of what he had in his pants. They were all at war. There were bigger issues to attend to, issues that would likely require complete trust both ways.

And as for Lotor...

He really _did_ like the prince. There was definitely something special growing between the two of them- even if it wasn't a bond forged by the Creators of the Universe, who was he to deny or delay the seeming inevitable? If he was wrong about the entire thing, it'd be better to know that as soon as he possibly could.

He reached for his comm.

And quickly jerked his hand away when a rapt knocking sounded from his door. Was free time already over? Did he really manage to take a full hour and a half nap? That was a new record for him.

"Keith?" Lance's muffled voice sounded. "It's time for dinner, so wrap anything you've got going with your cosmic boyfriend up and get to the dining hall soon."

"Got it," he called out. "And Lotor's not my boyfriend any more than Hunk's yours!"

The heavy pause only confirmed his suspicions. Keith smirked in self-satisfaction, unwrapping himself from his blanket cocoon. Guess he really had been onto something. He hadn't been seeing things earlier. That was good to know.

"...Touché," Lance admitted quietly. "Just... get to the dining hall, mójol. We'll talk about that second part later."

"'Kay," Keith said, finally getting out of bed. "See you then." He went to put his boots back on, just in case he needed them.

 _Well,_ he couldn't help but think when he headed for the door. _Show time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ myself: i love how the first kiss of this romance fic is over 65k words in  
> and the fact it's between the background pairing  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions and crushes and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to let you guys know, pov will be switching between keith and lotor (it's still mostly keith) a few times in this chapter!  
> enjoy!

Keith knew this was going to be an interesting dinner the moment he saw Pidge curled up in their seat, bumping their head against the table. He smiled and moved over behind their chair. He rested his forearms on it, his chin staying upon his arms. "Serum wore off already?" They jumped a bit in surprise at his 'sudden' appearance. After the brief moment of surprise wore off, they managed to nod.

"Jus' a couple seconds ago," they mumbled, barely audible with their face pressed against the cool metal of the dining table. "Hurts."

Allura looked to them in concern as she walked in. "What hurts?"

"The serum wore off for young Pidgeon over here," Hunk answered for them from his spot at the table. "Just a few ticks ago, actually."

"Ah," she said, nodding in understanding. "I hate to say it, Pidge, but I told all of you so." She gestured over to all of them as she mentioned them. "With all due respect, you've got no one to blame for this situation but yourself. You knew the risks, yet you still took the dare."

"He did the exact same thing," Pidge gestured to Keith. "Why aren't you telling this to him? I shouldn't be the only one getting this little lecture."

"'Cause I didn't know the risks," Keith shot back. "And I'm still paying for it." His head was still ringing, just not as bad as it was before he took a nap. He shrugged. "And maybe I'm just less of a lightweight than you are." He smiled teasingly. "With all due respect, of course."

"With all _due respect,"_ they grumbled. "You can eat my ass, you fuckin' emo impersonator." They pointed at Allura to the best of their blind ability. "You too."

"Language," Keith chided, then looked up to Allura. "Princess, do you have any really loud music to play on the Castle's interco-"

 _"Don't!"_ Pidge held up a hand in a stop gesture. They winced at the loudness of their own voice and put their hand down on the table. "Please... don't. I'm sorry."

"They're both technically your boss, Pidge," Lance joined in from his spot inbetween Hunk and Allura. "Maybe you should add something at the end for each of them?" He quirked up a brow. "Show that you really mean it?"

Pidge only groaned uncommittedly in response.

"You know, Lance," she looked over to him with a smile. He mirrored it giddily. "I think that's a marvelous idea." Her gaze returned over to Pidge's hunched over form. "What about it, Pidge?"

"No," they said flatly. "Never. Not in a million years. Not if you paid me a million dollars."

Keith hummed with a hint of disapproval. "That's a shame," he said with fake sympathy before looking to Allura. "Princess, do you know where the nearest unused pans are? I wanna hear how loud they can-"

Another dragging groan from Pidge. "Screw off."

Keith looked down at them and raised a brow. "Screw off...?" It was an easy prompt, an unspoken opportunity for this to stop. All the Green Paladin had to do was say three simple words. Nothing to it- they were definitely smart enough to figure it out.

And so they did. Only after the longest and most exaggerated groan yet, of course. "Screw off, _sir."_ They grumbled, barely loud enough to hear. They moved their head to the side, cracking one eye open to look up at him. Even with just half of their face, they still managed to shoot him a dirty glare. "There. Happy now?"

Keith shot them an innocent smile and reached one hand down to their head. "Absolutely, thank you." He ruffled at their hair, mussing it up just enough to be noticeable. He glanced over to Allura. "What about you? Think we should let them off with just that, Princess?"

Allura seemed to consider that question quite a bit, probably more than a bit exaggeratedly. Eventually she hummed and shrugged. "It's a start, at least," she said, moving to sit in her seat at the head of the table. "I don't think it would be fair to ask anything else of them right now."

Keith nodded in agreement. "That's fair," he said, dropping the little devious act immediately. He looked down to Pidge's softened expression. "All teasing aside, though- I know it's gotta be hell right now." His own expression softened in concern. "If you wanted to... none of us would mind it if you went back to your room if you think it's too much on you. One of us can just bring up food for you later."

Pidge's tense body seemed to uncoil just a bit at the proposal. They looked like they were seriously considering it. They gave him an inquisitive look. "Did a nap help you with all this?"

"Oh, absolutely," he nodded. "As soon as I got to my room, I got into bed and was out like a light 'till a couple minutes ago." He put a hand on their shoulder gently. "The pain won't go away completely, but it definitely feels better after an hour or so of shut-eye."

They openly took that into consideration, brows furrowed and lips drawn together. It took a couple moments for them to come up with their answer. "Okay," they finally said quietly, voice a bit rough. Probably dehydration. Note to self- make sure their dinner comes with some kind of drink. "But, uh... can I ask for a favor from you first? Nothing too bad, don't worry."

Keith raised his brows in mild surprise. "Of course," he said. "What is it?"

"I..." They started, then sighed. "It's a little embarrassing. Don't laugh at me for it."

He nodded. "Don't worry," he told them earnestly. "I won't." He gave them a questioning look. "What is it?"

"I can't feel my legs," they said outright. "They don't _hurt,_ don't worry. It's just that they feel... numb. Like that pins-and-needles feeling of them falling asleep, but kicked up a notch. I don't think I'd be able to walk if I tried right now, so... yeah." They moved so just their chin was on the table, giving them the ability to see nearly everyone else in the dining hall. "This is open to any of you guys, but I just-"

"No need," Keith cut in. "Don't worry, I can do it." Not that he thought the others couldn't or something like that, no. It was just that he was closest right now, not to mention the fact that he was the only one standing in the dining hall at the moment. He was the most convenient candidate to do it.

That, and it was the perfect opportunity for a test run. He'd have one of the others alone, get a chance to figure out a good way to come out and say what he wanted to tell most of them without sounding like an idiot. Pidge seemed like they'd be cool with him anyways, but on the tiniest chance that they weren't, there was also a chance of them forgetting the entire thing ever happened. So it was a win-win scenario either way.

With that in mind, Keith moved their seat carefully. He was as cautious with their small frame as he could possibly be while scooping them up in his arms. He braced for extra weight when moments before actually picking them up, only to leave himself surprised at how light they were. He shouldn't have been, considering how small they were. And yet there he was, preparing to pick up more weight than he actually did.

Pidge wrapped their arms around his neck for extra security. They met glances for a moment.

"You ready to go?" He asked, just in case. He wanted them to be as comfortable as possible.

In a silent answer, they reached out for Matt's glasses lying a few inches away from where their head had been. They probably took them off to avoid damage in any way. Their fingertips were just short of them, however- a detail that visibly irritated them. So he bent forward a little bit and allowed them just enough extra space to grab what they wanted.

Only when they had the glasses on did they respond to his question. Once again wordlessly, using only a nod and a small smile instead. It got their point across well enough for him to understand and begin walking.

The first few steps down the hallway, he was completely silent. Only focused on the task at hand, turning the corner towards the living quarters. He wanted to get out of the others' earshot before he actually started. Not because he didn't trust any and all of them with his life, but because he didn't want to stray from his little plan. They would get their time soon enough. This was the closest thing to a trial run he was gonna do.

"Pidge," he finally started after the next couple steps down the silent hallway. "Would you mind if I told you something? I know you just wanna sleep right now, but I wanted to take this opportunity while I still have it." He looked down at them, their tired eyes struggling to stay awake. "It's... personal."

A spark of interest rekindled the fading fire in their eyes. Curiosity clearly shone through their expression. "Yeah, sure," they said, raising a brow. "Don't really have much of a choice, considering I'm pretty much a captive audience for you right now, but sure thing. What is it?"

"I..." He started out strong, then immediately trailed off into a stop. Oh God, what should he say? Should he lead into it gradually? Should he just blurt it out, get any reaction from them out of the way as soon as possible? Should this just be casual, or should it be worded formally? Would it matter in the end? Would it affect anything important?

Why was this so _difficult?_ All it needed were two simple, easy to say words. Words he's said before to... Him. Words that Keith had accepted immediately once he knew what they actually meant and that they fit how he felt. Words that eventually caused Him to leave a small child alone in a shack in the middle of nowhere for authorities to pick up. It shouldn't be so difficult to say, _why was this so difficult for him to say maybe he should just--_

"I'mtrans." He blurted out so fast it sounded like just one word. No buildup, no bullshit. It was just out in the air now, rather than being cooped up and trying to get out of being brought up entirely. He sighed, letting the tension in his chest leave him with the dragging exhale. His heart hammered relentlessly in his chest, but it felt like a world's worth of worry was finally leaving him. "I... I'm trans, Pidge."

For a few moments, the only sounds that registered in his mind were his steady footsteps echoing along the otherwise empty hallway and his blood rushing as fast as his wild heart. He didn't look at Pidge's face, but he could feel their gaze on him. He tried to focus on any other detail around him. Anything that could possibly alleviate the irrational panic rising in his systems.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he shouldn't have done this. Maybe he should've just kept his mouth shut. Those three were familiar visitors, practically at home in his thoughts. Now they reared their ugly heads like a fearsome hydra and focused on him once again. The heat of their venom laced through his veins.

The sigh that sounded from Pidge was like a sudden crack of thunder to his ears. "Oh, thank _god,"_ they said, body relaxing in his arms. "You had me worried. For a second there, I thought something was actually wrong with you."

His thoughts skittered to a sudden stop at their reaction.

All he could manage to come up with was- "...What?" A bewildered word whispered, like the effect of it would be lost at a higher volume. He blinked, finally looking back down to see a soft smile on their face. "What do you mean by that?"

"What did you think I meant?" Pidge raised a brow. "There's no problem with it here. Matt acted the same way you did, so I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told him- there's no issue against being who you are, so don't worry about it. Be what or whoever you want, because you know who can go fuck themselves if they don't like it?" They paused, not waiting for an answer. Just for dramatic effect. _"Everyone."_

They continued again after a second with a quieter tone this time. A softer, heartfelt one. "I get it's scary to come out though, so..." Their arms tightened a bit around the back of his neck in the only attempt at a hug they could make right now. "Thanks for trusting me. It means a lot."

"I..." Keith struggled with the right words to properly express his washing wave of pure relief. He let out a ghost of a chuckle and smiled down at the figure in his arms. "It's no problem." He held them closer to him for a moment in his own form of a hug. The two of them stayed in that position for what felt like hours on the way to Pidge's door.

Only when they actually arrived there did he glance back down at the Green Paladin once more. His heart skipped a beat and tears prickled his eyes at the sight that unashamedly greeted him.

Pidge was fast asleep, their face smushed against him. Likely for its warmth. A small smile still played at their lips, expression completely calm as the glassy surface of untouched water. Their hands clutched onto Matt's glasses tightly but not enough to smudge either of the lenses. That thought alone was both the most endearing and the most heartbreaking thing he'd ever seen, wrapped up in one adorable relaxed package.

Keith moved cautiously, careful not to jostle and wake the sleeping figure in his arms. It wasn't too difficult to maneuver around holding their tiny frame enough to do most things like opening the bedroom door. Their extra weight was hardly a problem preventing him from doing pretty much anything he could do without holding them. Honestly, it felt like he was carrying a giant bag of grapes.

The door rose up for him smoothly, allowing him access to Pidge's room. The fact that it was messy didn't really surprise him- he'd seen them pocket a few small trinkets they could get away with taking from nearly any planet they visited plenty of times. What surprised him was how much _thought_ and _care_ was put into decorating. 

Fairy lights hung above their bed, dim and scintillating like little stars in a dark metal sky. The floor was covered in piles of assorted bits of tech and little pieces of various art and writings. It was chaos, but it was arranged into a sense of organized chaos- just Pidge's taste. A path to the bed was cleared, much to Keith's gratitude.

He walked to the bed slowly, taking in the sights of the room around him. It was so different from his own. His room was still barren and empty after a year of living in it as it was the first day he'd stepped into it. This room was a polar opposite- it had vivacity, an unspoken sense of personality in every arrangement. His room could have been anyone's. This room radiated _Pidge_ with every detail.

He didn't spend too much time dwelling on why that could be at the moment. He could wonder as much as he wanted later, preferably alone in case his answers got a bit too emotional. Not to mention he had a much more important task at hand at the moment.

Keith placed Pidge down on their bed as gingerly as he could manage. He drew their bunched up blanket abandoned at the foot of their bed over most of their small form, just below their wrists resting by their chest. He let the frayed old blanket stay, both hands readying for the last task. A task that would probably require both of them- gently removing the glasses from their tight grip. It would be a better alternative than risking them crushing their only remnant of their brother in their sleep.

He moved like he was defusing a bomb, easing open their hands with one of his own. Their brows furrowed slightly when he slid the glasses out of their grip. He placed them down on their little bedside table, in the small bit of space he could find. He got up to leave...

Only to be stopped in his tracks by a weak grip grabbing onto his wrist. He looked back to Pidge, fully expecting to see their eyes at least somewhat open.

Yet they weren't. They were still fast asleep; at least, they looked like they were. There was no way to tell for certain.

"Matt," they mumbled groggily, with a wavering undertone of desperation. "Please. Don' go."

Keith's brows raised in honest surprise. His chest felt tight, his heart stuttering once again. He didn't know how to react to this. Should he just go? That didn't feel right. How would he want them to react if their roles were reversed? If he was the one reaching out for his 'brother'?

An idea popped into his head.

He smiled down at them. "Don't worry, Katie," he whispered softly, turning his hand to grasp at theirs. "I won't be gone long." He moved closer, bending down until he was only inches above their forehead. "You'll see me again soon, I promise." He squeezed their hand before guiding it back on the bed, setting it down gently and letting go. He pressed a soft kiss to their forehead and watched the worry of their expression melt away to make room for relaxation. "Good night."

With that, he quickly turned tail and left the room satisfied with himself.

Dinner was kind of a haze. His mind drifted in and out of conversation. He found himself unable to focus for long, too preoccupied with searching for the right opportunity to cut in and come out to the group. He didn't want to interrupt any ongoing conversation, but he also didn't want to wait too long and miss his opportunity entirely.

Yeah, he could always have a one-on-one conversation with anyone who left before he could come out, but he'd rather not do that. This was much more convenient for everyone involved. He wanted to do this just once more- get it over and done with in one fell swoop.

Keith almost missed that opportunity. He snapped back to reality to see Hunk, Coran, and Suo getting up from their seats and gathering up used but done with plates. The others looked like they were preparing to get up and probably head for bed. It was slipping out of his fingers, so he did what he did best- jump in without an actual plan and make shit up as he went along. He was _really_ good at it, if he could say so himself.

"Wait," Keith stood up from his seat immediately. It definitely got everyone's attention. His skin crawled at the five sets of eyes now focused on him. "Before you guys go, I... I need to say this first." He put his hands on the table, the constant stability a small comfort as he kept going. "I need to come clean, and this..." He looked down, avoiding all their gazes now. "This might change the way you think about me. Just so there aren't any secrets anymore, I-"

"Hold up there," Hunk piped up. "Sorry for interrupting you there, but this sounds... awfully familiar to me." A small pause. "Are you gonna tell us that you're a girl? Or are you on some kind of secret mission that you think we should know about? ...Or is it both?"

Keith couldn't help but scoff. "You could say the former's... kinda true," he said. "Depending on how you look at it. But I..." His fists clenched. "I _really_ hope you guys don't see it that way."

"Keith," Allura spoke up. "I do admit, I see the similarities Hunk has pointed out. But if something's bothering you, please." He could tell without even looking at her face that she was giving him her trademark soft and supporting smile. With a whole sincere expression to match probably. "You don't have to worry about being honest with us. No matter what it is, I guarantee you that we'll all love you regardless."

 _Shit,_ that definitely got to him. Those words shot right through the heart, embedding themselves deep in his system. He had to blink away the tears tempted to fall. A task that proved much harder than it initially sounded. If he tried to talk any more, he knew for a fact he wouldn't even get halfway through without breaking down and blubbering like a baby.

Thankfully, someone else seemed to pick up on this.

"Keith," Lance said softly. "You look like you're having problems with this. Want me to say it for you?" Keith didn't answer verbally, just nodded. "Alright, I gotcha buddy." A short pause. "I don't really know how to say this any other way, so I'll just come out and say it- Keith is trans."

He kept his gaze down. He couldn't bring himself to look up and risk seeing what he feared most- disgust.

It wouldn't be his fault in the slightest. He wouldn't have been the one who needed to change something about himself- they were. There was nothing wrong with him. Logically, he knew all those things very well.

Thing is, in the moment he wouldn't think logically. He wouldn't cast any viable blame on an outside party. He'd hate it and himself for a little while before he looked back on it with a more critical mindset. Mostly because now it would be just another trait to alienate him from everyone around him- another way he was _different_ and _wrong_ and--

"Forgive me for asking," Coran spoke up first. He didn't sound angry. "But what does that mean?"

"It means Keith's a guy, one hundred percent," Lance answered for him. "He just wasn't born as one. He has the same biological parts of an Earthling woman, but other than that? He's still a guy. There's a huge stigma against it back on Earth, which is total _bullshit,_ but personally? It's not a big deal. At least, it shouldn't be." A short pause. "I never had a problem with it with my big sister Josephine, and I definitely didn't have a problem with it when I found out about Keith."

"Wait," Allura was the one who spoke this time. "Is this a gender-specific terminology or gender neutral, like Pidge?"

"'Transgender' or just 'trans' is gender neutral," Hunk explained calmly. "Usually the gendered term is just adding 'man' or 'woman' after it. So Keith is a transgender man, while Lance's sister is a transgender woman."

He heard a synchronized chorus of understanding 'ohhh's from both Allura and Coran. Suo had a different reaction, but began with the same word.

"Oh!" They said suddenly, surprisingly loud. "My people actually have something like that!"

Keith looked up in a jolt of surprise. He watched with wide eyes as Suo continued on, their eyes wide and shining with excitement. The others were doing much of the same. They all let their candid surprise shine through at Suo's outburst of explanation about their people.

"We call them the 'Taum'aquin'," they told everyone, gesturing excitedly with their hands as they spoke. Mostly flapping them quickly, like they were trying to fan out all the extra passion they couldn't hold. "'Realigned' in Tal'Oriekan, my people's native language. We believe that a body and a spirit must be connected to make a ferldos- a Whole Person. However, some people lose that way- they become unsure of themselves and who they are, they become disconnected- Acquin'nos. They gradually... change."

"Is... this a good kind of change?" Keith asked hopefully.

Suo only kind of nodded. "Usually, yes," they told him. "They're known as Taum'aquin, usually after undergoing a physical and mental development to feel comfortable with themselves once again. It's a hard, yet highly respectable process to undergo and endure. And while it isn't exactly the same," they smiled at him. "You would be considered a Taum'aquin to my people." They shrugged. "It doesn't mean much, I know, but-"

"No," Keith cut in. "Trust me, it does. It... Thank you. That... means a lot, Suo."

"It's no problem, really," they rubbed the back of their neck bashfully. "Just... glad I could help." They shot him a smile. "And thank you for telling us about this, Black Paladin."

"Seriously, man," Lance added. "It probably wasn't easy, I know." He gave Keith an earnest smile. "I'm really proud of you for getting that off your chest."

Hunk looked over to Lance. "How did you know about it, though?"

Lance gave him a questioning look. "You mean you _didn't_ know about this beforehand?" He looked around to the others. "Did any of you guys know about this before now?" His smile only brightened as he saw them all shake their heads. _"Dude!"_ He said excitedly. "For once, I knew something before the rest of you guys did!" He bolted out of the room whooping.

Keith didn't bother even trying to stop him. It'd probably be better just to let him have this moment of self-satisfaction. He looked over to the rest of the gathered group with a small shrug and a small smile.

"He had a point." Coran walked up to him. "I don't exactly understand why this was a big deal in the first place," he confessed. "But it obviously means a lot to you." He placed a hand on Keith's shoulder. "So I'm proud of you for trusting us with this information, my boy." He gave him a pat on the back and glanced over to Allura. "I'm guessing we have a bit more free time before curfew, right?"

Allura nodded. "Indeed we do," she said, her eyes glancing over to Keith as Coran left his side and went back to the kitchen. "I just want you to know- This doesn't change anything between you or the rest of the team. Red and Black chose you because of who you are as a person, not because you fit any arbitrary Earthling binary." She smiled. "Keep that in mind if you're ever in doubt." Her and Suo left at about the same time, with Suo pausing for just a moment when they got to his side.

Suo glanced to him with a hint of caution and uncertainty. They didn't say anything, just hesitantly placed their hand on his shoulder. They gave him a small nod and a smile, and that was it. They were on their way.

"Everything I was gonna say was pretty much said already," Hunk confessed, walking over to him. He scooped Keith up in a tight hug without any complaints. "But that doesn't make it any less true." He put his chin on Keith's shoulder, practically draping him in a hug that felt like warmth and strength and _home,_ as Hunk's hugs always did.

Keith smiled and placed his hands on the Yellow Paladin's back to return the gesture. With hugs like these, it wasn't hard to see how Lance could fall for him. "Thank you, man," he said. "It means a lot, trust me." He gave Hunk's back a pat.

"It should," Hunk told him. "'Cause we're all here for you, dude." He broke apart from the hug, facing Keith with a soft smile. "Whenever you need us." He started to move away, but put his hand on Keith's shoulder. "Remember that, okay?"

Keith nodded. "I will."

By the time he got to his room, Lance was already waiting for him. Sitting crosslegged on his bed, back against the wall and facing the door. Keith quickly joined him, sitting at his side.

Thus began Lance's endless stream of venting about his current crushes. Words came to him easily, one after the other quick and with nearly practiced ease. If he didn't know better, he would've thought the words came from some kind of script. Like this was a scene in a play of some kind and Keith just didn't know it.

He didn't need to talk. Lance did that enough for the two of them. All he needed was to listen and occasionally cue to keep going, usually with a nod and/or a small smile.

Lance would then proceed to talk about his two crushes on the Castle of Lions- Hunk and Allura. Not a single detail was overlooked or considered anything but endearing in Lance's eyes. How Hunk's arms felt like love and home, how Allura's excited bright eyes reminded him of the sparkling beach waters of Veradero beach back home. How his heart skipped a beat whenever he saw Allura's smile- especially pointed at him- or how his breath always stopped for a moment whenever Hunk touched him in any way.

All of this was told as dramatically as possible, of course. That was just Lance's usual. It was something Keith had grown pretty used to by now. So he didn't mind it so much when Lance would bury his face in Keith's pillow, groaning loudly in exasperation about how he'd be lucky to have even _one_ of them like him in the same way. It was... kind of adorable hearing how much he liked them. How open he was with his affections when neither of them were around.

The talk did remind him of something though. He still needed to talk to Lotor about something that was on his mind. He reached for his comm, barely noticing that Lance saw it until he felt a bony chin resting on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" He asked curiously.

"I'm gonna text Lotor," Keith told him casually. "There's something... pretty important that I haven't had the chance to tell him yet." He shrugged. "I figured it's something he should know though, so..."

"Ohh, okay," Lance nodded. "That's fair. But first," he raised a brow. "Can I say something to him?"

Keith raised a brow, but handed the comm already on Lotor's contact page over to Lance anyways. "Sure thing," he said. "Just don't take too long, okay?"

He nodded, moving away from Keith to start typing away. "Gotcha," he said. "Don't worry, this won't take too long."

A few moments passed in silence before Keith even thought to ask a pretty important question. "So," he leaned back, trying to sneak a peek at the text Lance was trying to send. "What are you saying to him?"

"Oh, nothing much," Lance shrugged casually, but kept the screen out of Keith's view. "I'm just asking him what he's wearing." He was trying to keep a smile down, biting on his bottom lip.

Oh, okay, that seemed-

Wait. What that really meant suddenly hit him in an instant.

 _"You motherfucker!"_ Keith yelled, diving for his comm and crawling over Lance in the process. "Give it back!"

Lance laughed giddily as he managed to press send before Keith wrestled the comm out of his grasp. "Too late, man!" He told him. "It's happening!"

By the time Keith looked at the screen, the message had gone through.

-

Life on the ship was... strange to Lotor. After such a long time of being able to sneak out to the glasslike balconies of the Irikan castle- being able to look out and see such diverse variations in the grounds of his home in any direction- suddenly living on a ship was hard to get used to. The windows offered a closer view of the stars he'd always admired, but he didn't dare to look out to them. Mother used to love them too. Maybe even more than he did.

Nearly everything reminded him of her nowadays. The stars were her greatest love; she'd always bring him and Acxa to her little secret trips out of the sleeping castle just to relax, lie down, and watch the shimmering stars for an hour or so. All his friends had at least one trinket from her, a gift from her to signify she cared for them just as much as she did her children. A gift personalized, meant just and only for them for eternity. A gift most of them would always wear or have on their person.

Yet they all seemed to disappear the day after she died. He appreciated the gesture more than he could possibly say, but he desperately wished it wasn't a necessary one.

Unfortunately it was. Everything that reminded him of her in any abstract way made a new wave of melancholy wreak havoc on his mind. His chest would feel completely heavy, and yet simultaneously felt like the emptiest thing the Universe could offer. He couldn't control it, as much as he desperately wanted to.

The worst part was- all of the others reminded him of her in some abstract way only his cruel mind would be able to attribute.

Mother was always surprisingly stealthy, much like Ezor. He couldn't count how many times she'd been able to sneak behind him. Usually for a 'surprise attack'- her description of an impromptu bombardment of affection, usually making him shriek in a mix of delight and childish embarrassment. (Oh, what he'd _give_ now to have just one more moment with her like that. He'd appreciate it much more nowadays.) She'd always loved vibrant unconventional mixes of color, giving her cause to an immediate aesthetic admiration of his bright-eyed runaway friend. Even when she found out he met said runaway friend with her nimble little hands rifling his pockets in the market.

While not a warrior herself, Mother listened attentively to the war stories Zethrid would tell of her people, mainly against the Galra. The tribes on her planet warred with them for _generations_ before they reached a recent truce. There was still a stigma attached to the Galra on her home planet, making her and her 7 brothers and sisters immediate targets. Once Mother knew that Zethrid was the only survivor of that whole debacle- through both sheer luck and surprising strength- that was it. She might as well have adopted her after that. Let her stay over most nights when she didn't have previous arrangements, let her train with the royal guards, anything the natural warrior wanted. He didn't say anything about the sudden data files he'd find filled with Irikan war stories, battle strategy and the like after Zethrid came into their lives. He knew exactly who they belonged to and why she had them.

Despite her fondness for the first two of his friends, Mother held a special place in her heart for the third. She would never have said so herself, but Narti was her favorite out of the three. She liked the others well enough obviously. But there was always something special about her maternal attachment to the unconventional one. Maybe it was her supernatural abilities- Mother had a special interest for the strange, even occasionally for the straight-up _horrifying._ The unknown intrigued her. Maybe it was her kind heart working overtime, caring most for the one who needed it most. Maybe it was some other reason he couldn't fathom causing her to be extra attentive to the girl who just... _appeared_ one day. When he asked, Mother simply gave him a soft, fond look and told him Narti reminded her of him.

He still had no idea what she meant by that. She didn't provide an answer beyond it, so he eventually just accepted that he'd likely never know. And now he knew that for certain.

And Acxa... Oh, dear Acxa. Every aspect of her reminded him of Mother. She'd always taken after her, while he was constantly told he looked like the father he'd never met. (The same father who left him abandoned on a long-dead planet, entangled in old pitch-black dead vines. Certainly the kind of person you'd _want_ to mirror.) Any and every aspect of her reminded him of the one they'd both lost. Her eyes, her hair, her skin, her voice- _everything._ Any moment spent in her presence that week made him feel hollow, so he'd resorted to the most childish solution- avoiding her at all costs.

It wasn't fair to either of them, he knew that. She lost a loving mother just as he did. If anything, they should have been sticking together rather than being as separate as possible. But he just... He couldn't _take it_ right now. The wounds were still fresh and raw as can be. His heart simply couldn't bear that emotional burden right now.

In time, that would change. Wounds heal. He'd eventually recover and explain to Acxa without feeling like he was being suffocated just by looking at her. He just had to wait for these wounds to heal, hopefully sooner rather than later.

It's always a possibility that they'll leave scars, but scars weren't the end of the world. Scars were just a reminder that you'd won, he reasoned as his hands absentmindedly roved the ones littered about his arms. Some were from the aforementioned unfortunate close encounter with rough and jagged burnt plant debris. Others from mistakes in training or his brief time off of Irikah a few years back. Most... he didn't know where they came from. As far back as he could remember, he'd always had them. They were as much a part of him as the limbs they rested upon.

Only one thing snapped him out of his trance of melancholy, dragged him back into the real world in these rare resting moments- his comm from Vrynea. A familiar personalized ringtone sounded from it, as soft and melodious and flawed yet breathtaking as the one it signified. The only special ringtone on his comm for a very special person to him.

_Keith._

The very ringtone he'd been hoping, wishing, and even _praying_ to hear since the night Mother died. Just thinking of Keith made every problem in his mind dissipate for a little while. Lotor had occasionally occupied his mind with the memories of Keith's protective warmth pressed up against him, his soft and sweet assurances and his gentle war-torn touch as the prince openly cried in his arms like a child. 

Lotor didn't like crying in front of others. He never had. Showing weakness- any sliver in the armor he'd carefully and meticulously made for himself- to others was nearly always a gamble. Vulnerability never felt right on him. It made him feel open and raw and _messy and--_

And Keith didn't mind that. He didn't judge him in the slightest, didn't question a single detail, just... reacted in the most natural way to him. The fact that his first instinct was to hold Lotor close like a shield to protect him from the horrors of the universe said more about the Black Paladin in silence than a lifetime's worth of words might convey.

Lotor realized, in that infinitesimal moment, just how unabashedly _unique_ Keith was. A man unlike any he knew, the kind of person few were lucky to find in years of relentless and desperate searching.

Lotor had found him without even looking.

And then he disappeared for a week. Wouldn't respond to anything Lotor sent, not even an attempt to type something out for him. He tried rationalizing his gnawing worry away at first. Keith was a Paladin of Voltron after all- not only that, but their _leader._ It was only a given that a man like that would be pretty busy with missions and forging alliances against the Empire. Temporarily too busy to check his comm. All Lotor had to do was be patient about it.

That mindset only worked until about the fourth day. Even if Keith was busy, he knew he would've let Lotor know by then. He started to expect a small apologetic message explaining his situation a little bit. It wouldn't mean much to Keith, but it would have meant all the stars in the infinite cosmos just to know that everything was okay with him. That the Black Paladin was alive and well, simply just preoccupied with defending the Universe.

Nothing of the sort came. Lotor started to assume the worst. The thought that Keith died the same night as Mother chilled him to the bone. It haunted his mind like an overly-attached specter, leeching on and refusing to let go. Guilt usually followed suit- mainly due to how it was Lotor's fault that Keith got shot in the first place. If such a person like Keith died because of him, that blood was on his hands as his mother's crumbling remains had been.

After Keith finally called him and clarified, even going so far as to introduce him to his Lion... Lotor broke down once the call ended. Sobs he'd never known before wracked his body like a furious sea storm, holding him captive in the current. Not tears of despair, but tears of... _relief._ Pure, unfiltered relief that his fears hadn't come true, that he hadn't ended up indirectly killing the one who quickly rose up in his opinion higher than nearly anyone else after they met.

And now he was free enough to talk to him again. They likely had a few blessed hours to themselves before they had to go their separate ways once again. Lotor practically jumped at the opportunity given to him, quickly grabbing at his comm and eagerly opening the two messages for him.

Only for that eagerness to take a sharp turn into confusion when he actually read the messages.

_{Ga Wáran, Keith} hey pretty boy ;)_  
_{Ga Wáran, Keith} whatre you wearin??_

Lotor squinted his eyes at the strange messages. He reread them over and over again, trying to make sense of what Keith might actually mean. Was this just a way of greeting for his people, or a segue into a proposition of some kind?

He wouldn't mind the latter, but it still struck him as odd. As long as they'd known each other, Keith was never one to be so... forward.

Maybe something was wrong. Maybe this was his way of showing it without actually saying it. The very thought brought a wave of worry crashing down upon him. Would it be appropriate to send a message back or not? He didn't want to risk Keith's life without knowing it. But he should probably do something to acknowledge it.

An idea popped into his head. He put it into action immediately.

-

"You _ass,"_ Keith grumbled as he punched Lance in the shoulders and sides. Not enough to seriously hurt or leave any long-lasting marks, but definitely not for play either. And yet Lance took it, cackling like a hyena. "Why in the world would you--"

He stopped in his tracks when the comm vibrated in his hand. He looked to the screen in absolute horror.

"He's _calling."_ Keith whispered, staring at the screen wide-eyed. If someone could read his mind at that moment, all they'd get was 'oh god why' over and over again. Rising in both speed and intensity as his heart rate did the same. His mind raced with panic and potential solutions.

Should he just let it ring? Or would that worry Lotor again? The thought of it made him feel insanely guilty, so he immediately dismissed it. But what else could he do otherwise? Would explaining what happened sound like a lie? His mind was working double just to think of the best option to go with right now.

Lance sat up. "Dude," he said. "What are you waiting for? You can tell him face to face, right now! Just-"

"I will," Keith finally decided, waving Lance away from viewing the screen. "But you're gonna have to leave first." He pointed to the door.

Lance huffed in protest. "But I-"

"Out," Keith didn't give him the opportunity to finish whatever reasoning he was going to come up with. "That's an order, Lance. After all," he shot the Red Paladin a knowing and seemingly humorless look. "I'm technically your boss." He had to resist the urge to smile.

He didn't look too happy about it, but Lance obliged. Mumbling something under his breath. All Keith really caught was 'not fair' and 'mullet'. He only stopped at the doorway to look back at Keith.

"Jokes and stuff aside," Lance said. "Thanks for hearing me out. Not many people let me talk that much and... it means a lot, man." 

Keith let his expression soften. "It's no problem," he said. "You're still my right hand. Not just that, but a friend, so..." He shrugged. "I figured this kinda thing was just something friends did. Even if you've probably put me in an awkward position with Lotor."

Lance shrugged. "Judging from how you talked about the guy, I figured you needed a lil nudge to actually get to it." He winked with a wry smile. "You're welcome." With that, he finally left the room. Left Keith to deal with the potential mess that he caused.

He accepted the call and immediately met Lotor's concerned expression. Maybe it was just his mind subconsciously reacting to the idea Lance put in there, he also couldn't help but notice what Lotor was currently wearing.

It was almost like a t-shirt, but loose and flowy. The sleeves didn't really cover much of his arms at all. It hung off one shoulder, showing the other side of the upper chest, collarbone and shoulder. The sleeve on that side barely reached his elbow. It was an attention-grabbing pink, complimenting his lilac skin... rather well, actually. It was in an intriguing light-to-dark gradient that reminded him of blending nebulous dust. He could stare at it for hours and still not catch every detail put carefully into the prince's shirt.

He couldn't see anything else other than that and the shimmering white hair tie holding Lotor's hair up in a ponytail. It wasn't much, but it was still a lot for him to take in all at once. A lot to take in during a reasonable and not creepy staring period, at least. 

It took Lotor actually speaking for him to realize that. "Keith?" His brows worried closer together. "Is everything alright?"

The heat of embarrassment washed over him as he snapped back to attention. His eyes met Lotor's, determined to look there and only there. It wasn't too difficult- Lotor's eyes were a beautiful sight all their own. "Oh," he said softly and quickly nodded. "Y-Yeah, of course. I'm fine."

That didn't reassure Lotor much. "Are you certain?" He asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. "Because you look a bit flushed. I've never seen you such a way, so is something wrong? Are you sick? Delirious?" His brows raised. "...Both? Your message seemed to imply it."

Keith chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I'm fine," he pointed to his face. "This is just a bodily reaction to embarrassment. I'm perfectly healthy and happy," especially now. But that probably wouldn't be the best thing to say at the moment. "And the message wasn't from me. It was from my friend Lance- the Red Paladin. I wanted to talk to you, and he asked to see my comm for a second. I had no reason not to trust him, so I let him. By the time I realized what he was saying to you, it was too late to stop it." He gestured to Lotor. "And you know the rest. He just likes messing with me sometimes." He looked to Lotor apologetically. "Sorry about that."

Lotor waved it off with a smile. "Oh, it's no issue at all," he said. "My friend from Chameon is much the same way. I love her to bits, but sometimes she steps well outside her jurisdiction." He rested his chin on his knuckles, worry melting into the familiar warm fondness. "So, what did you wish to talk to me about, hala?"

"I..." Now for the hard part. How was he supposed to say this? Lotor should know about it, obviously, but how should he put this? He rubbed at the back of his neck bashfully. He had to figure it out quick, but he had no idea how to really do that. "I... don't really know how to say this."

"It's quite alright," Lotor assured him. "Take your time if you need to. I can spare all the time in the Universe for you, ga wáran."

More heat rushed to his skin at the sentiment. "Well," he started, heart beating wildly in his chest. "This is... something I figured out pretty recently, actually." His fingers traced his shirt's hem nervously, finally landing at his left sleeve. He almost didn't notice how Lotor's eyes followed the movement with mild interest. "And after the past week you've probably had, I figured you should know something."

He pulled up the sleeve to show his mark. "I don't remember much," he said, noticing how Lotor's brows immediately shot up. "But the others told me that a little while after I got back to the Castle after our night at Sylemma, I... died." He cast his eyes down. "Something about poison in the bullet activated by the adrenaline of me getting us out of there stopping my heart or something. When I woke up, I had this. I know it..." He bit his lip, pausing for just a moment. "...It's not reassuring, but I wanted you to know that I-"

The sound of something very close crashing to the floor interrupted him and immediately caught his attention. "Lotor?" He asked, his eyes moving back to his screen.

Only a black screen and two grey words greeted him- Call Disconnected.

-

Lotor had opened his trembling hand's grip as a wave of shock rippled through him, letting his comm clatter to the floor. He barely even noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I be sorry for that ending? yeah probably  
> am I sorry for that ending? hell nah  
> comments are always appreciated!  
> come yell at me on tumblr: squishy--squish


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor's aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me before writing this chapter: I should be able to write Lotor's recovery quick, and finally start off the ball  
> me now: ...shit.  
> the ball will officially begin next chapter, though. So look forward to that!  
> enjoy!

It only took a mere moment for everything to change.

Though that's just a fact of life, isn't it? Every split second of hesitation, every small choice, every infinitesimal action you take could have the potential to change your life. In certain situations, any of those things could quite easily ruin it. That or end it in some gruesome way. Life's a tightrope- a constant battle for balance, for any kind of stability, for safety.

All it ever takes is a moment.

And yet we keep on going, knowing that truth of life. _Accepting_ that truth of life. We all walk that tightrope, preparing ourselves for the eventual plummet. That drop we all know is coming someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but _someday._

He'd always wondered why. Thought about it in detail, details that became much clearer to him now. He spent his seemingly endless amount of time thinking about the depths and depravities of life and death, pondered what kind of cruel gods would allow him to stay in the dark empty void he now found himself in once again. His mind burned with an inquisitive flame of heat and sound, blazing with question after question. There was no answer. There was never an answer.

Even now, there were no answers. No Creators. Only the empty cruel darkness surrounding him, enveloping him, _becoming_ him. There was nothing else; there was never anything else. Just him, floating both without weight and without any real purpose he knew of.

Lotor had been able to ignore it, push it down subconsciously until it was nothing more than a nightmare lingering in the far corners of his mind. Something horrendous and spine-tingling, but always fleeting with barely a trace once morning finally emerged. Never permanent. Never _real._

Until now. Now it was real as could be, and just as he remembered it- weightless, sightless, and devoid of any smell. The entire theme of the realm he found himself in seemed to be 'nearly everything-less.' There was no joy, no light, no color to any aspect of it. Just empty black, the sensation of his own heart beating in his chest and the pumping of blood through his veins, teeth dragging against his lips just for a taste of _something._ Even if that something was traces of his own blood.

He tasted it willingly, for it and the stinging pain that followed close behind reminded him that he was still alive. 

The voices always seemed to approve of this. At least, they seemed to. They made it abundantly clear about it when they _weren't_ pleased with him. The static shocks lacing through his skin spoke that fact louder than words ever would.

They loved to talk, mainly of things he couldn't hope to understand then. Of things like 'unlocking his true potential' and 'requiring further testing to clarify'. The plunge into darkness wasn't the only way they tried to do either of those things, of course. The darkness was just the least physically painful one.

A part of him knew that time was different now, that Lotor was actually just sitting on his bed with an open trembling hand and a far-off look. There was no real pain. No real reason to fear anything at the moment. The voices couldn't get to him anymore. Even if one voice was still trying to find him now, to drag him back, he knew logically that she hadn't actually gotten to him yet.

At the moment though, he certainly wasn't thinking logically. Everything was still fuzzy, but it had cleared up quite a bit for him right now. Most memories were murky, most names and faces lost to time. But the scars still remained, thus his mind still somewhat remembered how they were made.

In his mind's eye, he might as well have been a child again. A child made of chemicals and tests and glowing gold. A child formed in emptiness and pain and pitch black, mixed with damp variant colors after a trip to the arena. A child afraid of mortality- of his own frailty to snap so quickly and easily.

All it took was a moment.

Those memories healed some with time and love, yet he was facing them once again. But for the first time, he didn't have access to the soothing silk of his mother's arms. Her soft melodious voice couldn't bring him out of the trance he found himself stuck in. His memory of the warmth of her very presence only made him feel even more cold without it.

If he could, he'd give nearly everything just for a moment with her again. A moment in her arms. A moment of hearing her voice. A moment of seeing her kind heart in action once more before it stilled and crumbled to dust along with her.

All it would take is a moment.

Yet wishes were mere dreams, and he found himself locked in a waking nightmare. Wishing for solace wouldn't make solace appear. Nothing ever simply happens just for the cause that you wanted it to happen. No matter how badly you wanted it.

He stayed there for what felt like forever. His thoughts passed the time, his only companions in all of this. He wondered idly if Mallorius ever felt this way during her father's corruption, her mind hopeless and helpless to do nothing but watch while her body moved under its own volition. That was one bright point in this situation- at least he wasn't being controlled.

A pretty desperate bright point, but still a bright point in this nevertheless.

Then he felt something.

It was small and seemingly inconsequential. A soft and smooth bump of something against his arm for a moment. It was the tiniest gesture, yet he found himself yearning desperately for it when it was gone. He wanted nothing more than to feel it again.

For once in the darkness, his prayers were answered.

He felt the same small and soft frame nudge into his hand on the bed, silently urging it to open up. The tight fist hesitated, but his tiny savior was relentless in its pursuit of his fingers. They unclenched for it slowly yet surely, like grand gates finally opening for some big reveal. They were rewarded with a longer burst of softness. 

The creature ran its lithe little frame under his fingers slowly, letting the touch linger. His other hand stopped trembling. The creature rewarded that, too. This time with it clambering down to rest on his lap. His petting hand, desperate for the soft touch again, went over to it slowly. It ran down the fur once, then twice. The creature began to rumble and vibrate ever so slightly in satisfaction.

 _Relax, Lotor,_ a familiar telepathic voice echoed in his mind, partnered with a soft touch on his shoulder. Serenity transferred from her hand to his own in rippling waves, each one washing over him slowly. _Breathe slowly._

He was quick to follow the gentle instructions to the best of his current ability. It was difficult to relax in the darkness, but the comforting touch only he'd have been able to feel from her gave him just enough of a nudge to do so. Kova certainly helped too, continuing to purr as he smoothed his fur over and over again. Breathing slowly and evenly followed close behind.

 _Perfect,_ her voice was warm and soft, only available between the two of them in moments like these. In small touches between the two of them. Everyone else got her ticker code to interpret. _Describe your surroundings for me, my friend. What do you see right now?_

"I..." It was... difficult to speak. Hard to actually formulate words properly, hearing the way they echoed in the uncaring void around him. Such sounds both helped and hurt him- the fact that he could hear or speak at all was an improvement, but the echoes made him anxious, for they reminded him just where he was.

It was an uneasy equilibrium. A middle ground he'd rather not be on at all, yet here he was.

 _It's difficult, I know,_ pure empathy strengthened the power of her voice. It was clearer now, present in one spot and comforting. Her non-echoing voice helped root him. _But you can do it, Lotor. Remember that._

"It's... dark," he managed, his own voice wavering almost as much as his body was. "I can't see _anything._ It's not hot, it's not cold, it's just... _empty."_

_It's like you're floating in dark water, with no way of knowing which way is up or down,_ she said. _Isn't it?_

As much as he didn't want to think about that analogy, it was the most accurate one he could think of at the moment. It felt like he was a drifter, stuck between the murky depths of life and the sparkling surface of death. He had no way of knowing which was which. Even then, at the moment he's not too sure which one he would've rather gone towards anyway. There was no Creator around to judge and guide him in either direction.

All he had right now was Kova and the guidance of the reassuring voice.

He nodded in reply to her question.

 _...Maybe you don't need to know,_ she said. _'Knowing' is probably not going to help you much in this situation._

He raised a brow. "What do you mean by that?" He couldn't help but ask.

 _You are in your own mind,_ she told him. _The first step of recovery is retaking control of it. Every obstacle blocking your progression is entirely mental. That doesn't make your suffering any less real and debilitating, but it puts things into a clearer perspective._ She paused for a moment, but her presence was pronounced. He knew she didn't leave him. _It's a long and difficult process, but I just want you to try it out for me now. A trial run, you might say._

"I..." He sighed. "I'll try."

A hum of appreciation rumbled through him. _That's all I can ask from you, Lotor. Thank you. You're doing a great job so far; just keep at it and you'll be out of this situation in no time._

The encouraging words certainly helped. There was still one glaring problem, however. "...How do I do it?" He asked, his words teeming with the uncertainty brewing inside of him. "Just... imagine I'm somewhere else?"

 _In a way,_ she admitted. _Yes. Do you need my further assistance with this? I'd be happy to give it._ He could tell she was sincere about that. So he simply nodded. _Alright. I'm going to describe a setting, and I want you to envision it. We'll progress from there._ She paused for a brief moment. _Are you ready?_

Oh, definitely. He was more than ready to get out of this lifelike dreamscape. He couldn't nod fast enough in response.

 _Good,_ she began. _We'll be going with a rather simple surrounding this time. Not that I don't think you couldn't handle constructing more complex areas, but I don't wish to strain you too much on your first time._ The hand on him moved to his back. He could feel her moving closer to him. _I want you to imagine a hallway. Any kind of hallway, any kind of place. As long or as short as you wish. This is your mindscape, after all._ Curiosity flickered like a spark in the darkness. _Where does your mind go first?_

He didn't want to say.

It certainly worked- the darkness turned into liquid, forming into a familiar hall before evaporating faster than most ships' hulls too close to a sun for too long. His mind's eye was full of lavish color and extravagant decor, lined with windows that held a deeply missed view of his home planet's flora. Just a week ago, he walked down this very hallway. Being there once again made his heart conflicted.

On one hand, this was his mind. His imagination. His rules. If he wished to, he could change what happened. Conjure a better ending for his mother's story. It was certainly an appealing prospect- being in her radiant presence again. He could even see her young and healthy again, not the husk he had to say his goodbyes to. His heart swelled with pure unadulterated want at the concept of it.

On the other, he knew fantasy was dangerous. It was a trap easily slipped into, and not so easily eluded. Playing pretend wouldn't change what really happened to his mother. No matter how hard he wished and imagined, the true ending would still be the same- Mother was dead. She'd surfaced already, passed through to the shores of the afterlife, and there was nothing he could actually do about it now.

Now he faced her door once again, and he couldn't bear to move. He was too torn. Caught in the crossfire between both sides.

He wanted to run. Get as far away from the door as his legs could carry him. But when he tried to move his legs to do so, they were frozen to their spot. They were like roots, keeping him firmly in his place. No matter how he felt about it.

 _What do you see around you, Lotor?_ the voice prodded for information gently. _Something familiar? Something... unwelcome, perhaps?_ It was a question intended to be followed by an answer, but he couldn't help but get the indistinct (and otherwise indescribable) feeling that she already knew what he was seeing. She likely just wanted him to say it out loud.

"I-I can't," he whispered, voice raw and rough. "I _can't._ Please."

 _Is it too much, ma rėah?_ she asked, voice as calm and gentle as Irikah's sea. As Mother's voice commonly would get. The only thing that made him remember it wasn't her was the Galran name at the end- my friend. _I know it must be, but you have to keep going. The only way out of this is forward._

So many formless and confused questions stormed around him. It formed into a chaotic funnel, trapping him in the middle all alone. He wanted to ask them all, express himself and vent out all these feelings that tossed his frame about. If he could possibly do this, he would have in a heartbeat. But all that came out of his mouth into the endless space was one simple and broken word- _"Why?"_

It was a symbol for the questions left unspoken, wrapped up in all dissonant confusion whirling at breakneck speed in his chest. It felt as though he was ready to burst when all he wanted to do was return to reality.

 _Because I know you, Lotor,_ she told him, her voice different. Harder to read. Not cruel or hard, yet not the same soft and warm tones and feelings she'd harnessed just the last time she spoke. _And if left untreated, this will consume you. You will let it fester with a plastered smile, putting up the mask that you're the picture of mental health. By the time any of us would usually realize that something is wrong with you, it will be too late._ A new feeling like lightning ran throughout his body. It reenergized his veins, wracking through him and filling him with a feeling he wasn't sure how to name accurately. _I refuse to let that happen to you. I'm prepared to stop that from happening. At any cost, if necessary._

He finally realized what the feeling rushing through his systems was.

Determination.

 _It's scary, I know,_ she told him. _But any kind of progress is. I can tell you want to get out of here quickly, but I can't allow that. Your hallway is just like time- you cannot go back, and you cannot remain where you are forever without consequence. If you truly can't do it, then..._ There was a pause. A hint of remorse tainted the mix they were stirring together. _...I sincerely hope you forgive me for this._

Before he could ask her what she was even talking about, he felt ghostlike fingers trace over his mind. On instinct, his body tensed... then loosened. He knew of this sensation. He hadn't felt it much or for very long over the time the two of them knew each other, but he remembered enough to know the supernatural chill rushing up his spine.

It wasn't complete control, thankfully. It was more curious yet cautious plucking at his strings in search than seizing the reins completely. She had something very specific in mind, and she was rifling through his mind in search for it. Even if he could move at the moment, he wouldn't have.

He quickly regretted that decision when he discovered just what she found. It wasn't just a simple search for information- she was actively _putting something into his mind._

Not just something, either. Calling what she put into that hallway just 'something' did her no due credit.

She put a person into his mind, standing just in front of the door. A person who looked radiant in the Irikan glow, making his breath catch in his throat and his heart stop for a quick moment. A person who looked to him with the same lovely look they just... naturally had.

"Keith," Lotor breathed. _"Keith."_ For a moment, his name was the only thing the prince knew how to say.

 _"Lotor,"_ the voice that tumbled from his lips didn't sound completely like his, more of an amalgamation of the helping voice and Keith's actual voice. It reminded him that this wasn't really Keith, just a product of his memories and magical interference. Knowing that wasn't enough to stop his reactions to the Black Paladin however- even when said 'Paladin' looked to him chidingly. _"You haven't been too honest lately."_

His brows furrowed in confusion at the statement. He simply couldn't wrap his head around what exactly they meant by that. So he did the only thing his mind could think to do, in a flash of astounding brilliance- ask. "What..." He licked his lips nervously. His hand went to a sizable portion of his hair and combed through it quickly just for the sensation of it and cast his eyes down. "What do you mean by that?"

 _You tell us you're fine when you're obviously not,_ the voice was more pronounced, Keith's voice becoming an almost silent second tone. _You're shutting us away while you do so when all we really wish to do... is help you. But we can't do that if you lie to us. If you hide from us. And you know we're not the only ones you're not completely honest with._

The voice changed once again. It's ringing in his mind lessened considerably, replaced instead by the more organic words that usually passed through Keith's subtly-flushed lips. If he didn't know better, he would have been certain that the real Keith was in the room with him. But he did know better- despite his unconscious reaction, he wasn't feeling the subtle pull to this Keith. That was enough for him to differentiate.

"You haven't exactly lied to me," Keith told him evenly. Lotor stared down at the dark blue Irikan rug intensely in shame. "But you haven't exactly told me the truth either, have you?" Lotor shut his eyes, as if that would stop all this. As if he were a child drawing the covers over his eyes to hide himself from some dream-born monster.

It didn't work. The voice continued onwards into specifics. "You haven't told me about your home planet yet, have you?" He started off mild. When Lotor didn't respond, he continued with his examples. "You haven't told me about your little found family, have you? Or nearly anything about you or your life in general?" He hummed. "Or your mother's passing? Or- objectively the most important one- your time in service to the _Galra Emp-"_

"That's not important anymore," Lotor protested the last point with all the emotional strength he could muster. "It wouldn't affect him anyways."

"That's a lie," Keith told him flatly, likely crossing his arms with an air of disappointment about him. "And you know it, Lotor. As someone fighting the Empire every day, having someone close to you being chased by them would be something I'd want to know! Especially if that person is my kadan-hassarah." _Heartbonded._ An old legend he used to believe was just a fanciful illusion.

Meeting Keith, spending time with him and feeling that subtle invisible pull between both sides, eventually... opened his eyes to the truth. The terrifying yet wordlessly exquisite truth.

Keith continued onwards, voice rising slightly in intensity. Lotor found his fists slowly clenching as he spoke on. "You know it to be truth," he said. "Whether or not he knows that yet is uncertain, and not _completely_ on you. But that isn't the point." A momentary pause. "The point is- he cares for you, Lotor. Whether he truly knows why or not. And he barely knows anything about you, or our current problems about Galra agents on our tail. One of which _killed_ him temporarily. Why wouldn't you-"

Lotor couldn't possibly describe what compelled him to interrupt. Maybe because it was too jarring listening to Keith's voice after he'd confirmed Lotor's biggest fear during his last call. Maybe because he just wanted out, not a lecture on all his recent wrongdoings in life. Maybe he just didn't want to hear the truth.

But something in him just... suddenly snapped.

 _"I made a mistake!"_ he shouted at the top of his lungs, all molten-hot lava and booming thunder rolling up and down empty hillsides. His heart beat fast enough to shake any planet to the core. Rivers stemmed down from the ends of his eyes to the end of his chin. His mountain body crumbled easily, leaving him scrambling to keep any semblance of strength or foundation together. "I... I made a mistake back then." His voice was barely a hoarse and broken whisper. "I-If I could, I'd take it back." Creators only know what he'd pay to take it back.

But he couldn't. He made a conscious decision, and now he had to face the consequences of it. As was the way of the Universe. All he could do right now was run and hope Marmora would be kind on him. Or that Mallorius would, if he were to perish along his path.

The silence between them lasted far too long for him to feel comfortable with. Did he make another mistake somehow?

Keith was the one to finally break it.

"The thing about acceptance is," Keith's voice was soft now. Gentle. A warm sunset on the horizon. It sent a shiver down his spine. "Finding it isn't the hard part." Lotor looked up to find his eyes shining like the unequaled finest of jewels. The paladin extended a hand towards the prince. "It's letting go. Of everything holding you back from it." The hand was brought up a little bit further. An unspoken and seemingly simple, yet unfathomably deep, offering.

Lotor glanced to it with a hint of caution. "Something tells me this isn't just what it appears to be," he looked to Keith questioningly. "What will happen if I take your hand?"

Keith smiled, the exact one that left his heart stuttering and his stomach filling with small fluttering creatures. Damn the voice for picking the aesthetics of the exact person he had a giant weakness for. _"I know I can't fix all your problems in one session,"_ the two tones converged on equal levels once again when they spoke. _"No one person in the entire Universe can. But all of us- the people who love and care for you- can make the burden on your shoulders much lighter."_ The hand was raised a slight bit higher. _"The road to acceptance is long and grueling, with many obstacles along the way. Taking this hand and getting out of here is simply the first step."_ The other hand pointed to him. _"It's up to you to decide what to do once you awaken."_

Lotor let those words truly sink in. They spoke of truth, not to mention he knew they were all taken from his own thoughts on the matter. He always knew he had to tell Keith the truth eventually if they were to truly know and trust each other. Trust was always a two-way street. He really needed to pull his weight, especially with how Keith had pulled in his.

It was just... difficult for him to stomach, telling the truth. Trusting the wrong person was an easily regrettable decision, and a few times he nearly didn't live long enough to regret it.

But those people weren't his kadan-hassarah, and the right ones he trusted still remained at his side. Mother... she was gone, but he knew exactly what she'd advise him to do.

Lotor came to a decision.

He took the hand, and his body immediately jerked awake. His mind snapped back to the real world- his darkened bedroom, Narti's hand resting gently in his, and her purring cat perfectly content in his lap. He was safe.

He was _home._

 _Welcome back to the land of the living, Lotor._ Narti said, moving her hand to his forearm. Her tone was lighthearted and teasing, but behind all that was a soft sense of sincerity and relief. He could tell she was glad that had actually worked. _How are you feeling?_

He chuckled humorlessly, focusing on petting Kova for a couple moments. He had no idea why, but the little cat with the weathered fire of countless years in his sleek eyes had always... calmed him a bit. Maybe it was just cats in general. He had no way of knowing, for he had met none but the one who currently resided in his lap. Kova closed his eyes and purred just a bit louder as Lotor's hand moved up to scratch at his ears. A small smile played at his lips at the sight, letting the tranquility wash over him.

 _Pardon me,_ Narti spoke up again. _Do you want some time alone? It's getting to be pretty late, and I... I know I put you through some rough times back there. If you want me to leave, all you need to do is ask._

Lotor nodded slightly. "I need to sleep and... adjust to all you've shown me," he said, finally raising his eyes to rest on her face. "But I'm not cross with you, if that's what you're fearing. I... needed that, to be perfectly honest. I'll definitely think on it tonight, trust me."

 _It was no trouble,_ She told him. _I'm just glad that you still saw reason, even in the troubled state you were in._ She stood up, still keeping her hand on him, her intentions to leave clear. _I will leave you to it tonight. If you wish it, Kova will stay with you for as long as you want to keep his company. Just... In the morning, share that same attention with the rest of us. Alright?_

He nodded. "I will," he said. "I promise, the first thing tomorrow, I'll speak with Acxa." All he needed was a night to mentally prepare, which he was going to get. So there was not a problem in his mind.

 _Please do,_ Narti radiated appreciation in waves of warm sunlight. _She misses you, Lotor. Now more than ever, you two need each other. And one more thing,_ she held up his comm. The screen now held spindles of cracks. _This was on the floor below your hand when I came in. Acxa's not the only one you need to talk to._ She passed the comm into his available hand before removing hers from touching him.

Her presence and radiated emotions left his mind in an instant. She left his room with barely a glance back.

The first thing Lotor did after his bedroom door closed was fairly predictable- trying to turn on his comm. He could tell Acxa everything in person tomorrow. As much as he wished it, he couldn't say the same for Keith. Talking to the Black Paladin would help calm him down considerably, too. He could explain everything rather easily. Everything could be back to normal between them. He'd try his hardest to make sure of it.

Rather, he'd be able to do so if the thing actually turned on. But no matter how hard or how long he pressed the power button... nothing happened. No lit up screen in his dark room. No notifications he was bound to have from a concerned Keith. Nothing but thin cracks in the pitch black screen, jagged and spindly.

It took him a moment to realize what he'd done.

He'd _broken_ his comm.

He'd _broken_ his only form of communication with Keith. His lifeline to the Black Paladin spanning Creators only know how many systems. 

There were countless legends he'd learned about kadan-hassarah couples. How they faced any and all odds and found each other on assumed blind luck, especially after they'd met and felt their celestial connection. No force in the entire known Universe could tear them apart. Not even the cold skeletal hands of Death. Certainly not something so trivial as distance.

As Lotor held Kova closer to him, all he could do was pray that those legends were true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> seriously  
> I Thrive off of Validation  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ball begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it begins! The end of this fic (which is just part 1 bc I have a lot more planned for this verse, with this fic just focused on them _actually getting together)_ is in sight!  
> ...Somewhat. Two more events are planned after the ball, which will take a couple chapters on its own.  
>  why do I do this to myself  
> Enjoy!

Keith shifted in his seat, his fingers impatiently strumming the smooth marble-esque armrests of the Etmean chair. They couldn't keep still- when they weren't on the armrest, they were idly toying with his outfit or correcting it in some way. Most of others around him were the same way, making sure their custom made outfit wouldn't look bad when they finally emerged from their little waiting room. They were talking amongst themselves, but he couldn't be bothered to try and pay attention to what they were saying right now.

Apparently Etmean ball custom involved all the important guests getting introduced by a crier whilst walking into the Castle. The Empress and a similarly-dressed companion next to her watched from a small balcony and greeted them all, exchanging a kind sentence or two before things moved along and they joined the festivities. A small crowd stood at the sidelines of the royal blue velvet carpet to watch it all.

As the 'surprise guests', they were reserved for the very last ones to be introduced. Which meant they had to stay in the biggest, most elegant garden shed and movie theater he'd ever seen. It was lined with rows of pretty plush, yet kind of itchy seats. 

An Etmean servant in a dark red suit stood in the front of the room, holding the small white stone from the necklace all Etmeans wore in his hand. His eyes were closed, brows furrowed in concentration. The small jagged and uneven pure white crystals stemming from his dark grey skin glowed as brightly as the smooth one he held.

For a reason- a huge swirling white holographic screen projected from it. It showed them the event they would eventually be joining in full detail. If the screen was all he could see, he'd almost be convinced that he was actually there.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He was stuck waiting with the rest of the team, had been for at least an hour now. Trying any method available to him to keep his mind busy, avoid thinking about his own worry. For the past week and three days, he hadn't heard anything from Lotor. Not a text or even an attempted call since Keith's last little call. Nothing for 10 whole agonizing days.

Not that he was counting them or anything.

Thankfully, the end of the first week they arrived on Etme. The past three days had been a whirlwind of preparations and secret personal interviews and final fittings for all their outfits, so he hadn't had much time to himself for even a second of over-analyzing in that time. But now, all they had to do was wait to be introduced. All he had was time to over-analyze and a pretty nice-looking outfit.

So, in a desperate last-ditch attempt to keep his mind busy, he decided to study all the details of it for the umpteenth time.

It was light and airy, soft to the touch and surprisingly warm. It was the comfortable middle between being too tight and too loose- just the way he liked it. The hem of the shirt was lower than what he usually wore, exposing a little bit of his collarbone. Thankfully it was just short of the purple surrounding his mark. Most of it was a dark gray, the color of a well-fed fire's smoke. Purple accents lined it at certain spots- the top half of his shoulders (in imitation of his armor's shoulder pads), the thin stitches of both his shirt and pants, and the Voltron insignia on his chest.

Most of the others' outfits were pretty much the same way with their corresponding colors, with varying patterns based off their Lions' elements. Hunk's was laced with the earthen cracks of a dry desert and somehow managed to look elegant. Pidge's patterns were exactly like vines, twisting and curling upon themselves. Allura's flowed like water, soft waves and swirling whirlpools. Lance's patterns were open and hopeful, flames reaching up like hands searching for salvation.

His own patterns were minimal but perfect- sprinklings of stardust. However you looked at it, there was always at least one little dot blinking at your attention. It was simple and beautiful, as the night sky always was.

They weren't his favorite part of his outfit, though. His favorite part was an addon to the pants- a clear and very thin piece of light fabric that reached nearly down to his ankles. It would be considered a skirt, if it was connected in the front instead of the huge slit in the middle that only grew bigger the farther down it went. It was a gradient purple- light lilac at the top, nearly black violet at the bottom. It was apparently an accessory of diplomacy, a sign at how important the person wearing it was to Etme as a whole.

Everyone on the Castle of Lions got a variation of it in different places. Allura's was royal blue and hanging off her arms, tied at the shoulders to the bottom of her middle finger. Lance's was a warm red, hanging loose over his shirt. Pidge's was forest green and hung as an airy little cape. Hunk's was a radiant yellow and was worn as a comfortable-looking hood. Even Coran and Suo got their own, to both their pleasant surprise. Coran's was a comfortable orange, worn in a sash like a proud badge of honor. Suo's was a light radioactive green, the shade that toes the line between green and yellow. They wore it like a winter scarf.

He sighed, toying with his stupidly complicated braid that took two hours to complete. This wasn't working. All it was doing was distracting him momentarily, fleeting and much too brief. His mind kept drifting back towards Lotor and the last time he talked with the prince. How he could've done things differently so he wouldn't have to deal with the growing worry that now loomed over him.

Was this what Lotor felt like during the week Keith was in the healing pods? Wondering if he was okay, hoping for any kind of sign confirming his fears didn't come true? Yeah, probably. That thought always just made him feel worse.

Was that the point of it, though? Was Lotor purposely ignoring and not saying a word to him just to give him a taste of his own medicine? Probably not. Lotor didn't seem like the type of person to do that kind of thing.

But even so, a small part of him couldn't help but wonder if that was actually the case.

He had to shut it out. Ignore it. Hold out just a bit more until his mind could be occupied in the whirlwind this ball was likely to be. He turned his attention to the screen just in time to see a colorful fuchsia-skinned woman with a long... head-tail...thing in a short steel blue dress linking arms with a hooded peculiar-looking eyeless lizard lady. She was holding a cat and obviously trying to hide a smile.

"Now presenting: Her Ladyship- Narticia Val-Koor of Hecata," the crier announced, and the hooded lady bowed her head wordlessly. "And accompanying her: Mai Bhalsytch of Korse." The woman let herself snicker and openly smile in self-satisfaction. A few scattered people had the same response. The Empress included, despite her best efforts to hide it. The Empress's companion looked less than pleased at that, but she quickly recovered her graces and bowed her head at the two.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Narticia," she said politely. "You look absolutely _radiant_ tonight." Narticia bowed her head in a silent thanks. "And... Lady 'Mai,'" she smiled. "You certainly know how to make a first impression."

'Mai' shrugged casually. "That's my specialty, your Grace," she beamed up at the Empress. "Thanks for the invitation."

The Empress bowed her head. "You're very welcome," she said. "I hope you have an excellent time."

"We will, madame." With that, the two headed up the steps into the castle.

It didn't take very long for the next two to come into view, and he couldn't help but find himself immediately captivated. There was no way. This had to be some kind of crazy coincidence that he was here.

Then again, he probably should've expected Lotor to be here. He was a prince, and this place was teeming with otherworldly royalty. Just like Vrynea, the night the two first met. That wasn't even putting the apparent celestial bond between them into play. Maybe it was all just a happy, yet nearly impossible coincidence. Or maybe an even more nearly impossible option that one hopeful part of him clung to- that this was the work of _destiny._

Keith had wanted to be able to talk to Lotor, and now there he was. Looking as breathtakingly gorgeous as always. His hair was pulled up in a simple, yet organized bun. Not a single strand was unkempt from it. He wore a short armless dress with varying shades of dark gray and accented with white, a high collar reaching up to nearly his entire neck, and an end that barely touched his knees. His collar was split in two to show the attention-grabbing wide yet thin silver necklace he wore. His shoes were high-heeled, adding onto his overall height by two inches or so and matching with his overall outfit.

If this was what he'd been wearing when they first met, Keith was ninety-nine percent sure that he would've had a heart attack or combusted on the spot.

Now wasn't too different. For a brief moment, he could've sworn his heart completely stopped. Time slowed down in his mind as he focused on Lotor. How his radiant smile shone brighter than any moon Keith had ever seen. How the warm light of the entrance bathed him in a nearly heavenly light. How the bags under his eyes were hard to notice unless you studied the captivating pools of gold and blue long enough. There were too many mesmerizing details he wanted to take in all at once; it took a moment for him to realize something very important that made his stomach flip.

Oh God, they were gonna be in the same place together. If they really were bonded, the moon beams were gonna show it. He still had no idea how to feel about that, especially after the last ten days he'd gone through.

"Now presenting: Lord Lotor Sincline Von Llwyn," the crier announced as Lotor waited to start walking down the blue carpet. Mainly for his companion- a light-blue skinned woman with similar ears and short cropped purple hair. Her bangs were pinned back by a small gilded hairpin. Her suit was a deep violet, accented with gold and dark gray. "And Her Ladyship Acxa Neris Lorelai Verona Theirin Myl-"

Acxa's expression grew more and more annoyed with every name that passed into the open air, deeply contrasting Lotor's amusement. Her arms crossed, adamant despite his efforts to link theirs together. Eventually she had enough and whirled around to properly glare at the crier still reading off her names.

"Get on with it already!" She called with obvious irritation, and Keith immediately recognized her voice. The crier was caught off guard by this, jumping a bit in surprise. They even fumbled with their necklace projecting a list of all the names. It took a moment for them to recompose. Judging by what he could see on the screen, they'd barely scratched the surface, but they looked more than willing to provide Acxa's request. Mainly out of fear.

They nodded and put a finger on their screen, dragging the list down a little bit. "...Von Llwyn of Irikah."

Acxa turned back around with rolling eyes, but she finally let Lotor link their arms together and started to walk down the carpet. A small smile ghosted at the edges of her indigo lips, hesitant to emerge into the world. But it was enough to show she enjoyed at least some part of this.

The crowd fell into a sea of hushed murmurs, eyeing the two. Some with disdain, others with pity, most with curiosity. The Empress and her companion shared a pure milky-eyed look with each other. The Empress looked far more sympathetic towards them, while her companion raised a brow and sat forward a bit in a silent interest.

"So the Irikans finally arrive," the Empress spoke when they approached the entrance. "I trust the trip wasn't harrowing at all? I know there are some... undesirable systems between there and here."

"Nothing we couldn't handle, Your Majesty," Acxa told her casually. Lotor nudged her side, cuing her to continue. "Your... concern is noted and appreciated, however." She bowed her head graciously, if not a bit awkwardly. Lotor nudged her again. "Thank you very much." She added on, and only then did Lotor truly look pleased.

The Empress smiled kindly, bowing her head graciously. "You're very welcome, dears." She looked down upon them. "Enjoy-"

"If I may interject for a mere moment," her companion spoke, looking to the Empress. "I wish to ask them something before they go in." She only continued with silent consent. "Now, the galactic community hasn't heard anything from the Queen of your planet for quite a while now." They raised a brow. "Will we ever get an answer as to why?"

Acxa's brows furrowed. She looked ready to retort with something that had a bit of bite, but Lotor placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked to him with a bit of confusion, and he held his other hand in the universal sign for _Don't worry- I've got this one._

"Unfortunately, she was unable to come to tonight's event," he frowned. "A real shame, too- she always loved seeing the lovely Empresses of Etme, along with their home and guests equally so." He gestured around him as he spoke, shooting both rulers an award-winning smile. "Not to worry, though- Xveca is recovering quickly, and wishes to meet with you soon to make up for missing tonight."

The questioning Empress didn't look too convinced by that. But the first was quick to step in and steer the conversation towards a more desirable direction. "That sounds delightful," she said, putting a soft clawed hand on her wife's shoulder. "We would love to see her anytime she can make it."

"Oh yes," Acxa joined in, nodding. "She'd love to. We can arrange something, can we not?" She raised a brow, looking to the cynic Empress. "Would that be alright with you, Majesty?" There was definitely a thinly-veiled hint of sarcasm there. It was _palpable._

"We shall have to see about that, my dear," her voice was flat and almost blatantly unenthusiastic. "Enjoy the ball." She leaned back in her seat with a sigh completely devoid of impression.

Without another word, they walked into the Etmean Castle to join in on the festivities. The last thing he saw was both pairs in sight exchanging looks with each other. The more forgiving Empress was looking to her wife chidingly, dissatisfaction evident on her features. Her wife's look softened somewhat, but she didn't look like she regretted it one bit.

He couldn't see the expression on Acxa's face, but it was evident in Lotor's that there was going to be a discussion about it all very soon. And judging by his brows furrowed with trouble and roaming eyes, it wasn't looking promising. The last sight he got on the screen was Lotor's ocean-blue irises pointing at the screen. Almost seeming to look right at him.

An electric shiver ran down his spine like it was a mere wire at the thought.

The image didn't last long. It was a split-second frame in the animation reel of the universe, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression on his memory before the Etmean servant let go of his amulet. The screen rippled into nothingness in mere moments. It took him a few more to realize that and return his attention to reality.

He saw Lance's eyes pointed at him with a look he couldn't decipher. He didn't bother to return the gaze and stood out of his seat. The writhing hurricane of conflicting feelings brewing inside of him could wait to be sorted out till later. Much, much later. Right now, he had his duty- secure an alliance between the coalition and the Etmean government.

Even if that meant he had to make nice with a bunch of strangers, then so be it. No one was going to stop him from achieving an influential ally, no matter how breathtakingly beautiful they were. Or how soft and silken their hair was. Or how his face was etched into Keith's memory to the point where he'd dreamed of it for nearly a full week now. Or-

He was getting sidetracked. Point was- it'd be beyond nice to talk to Lotor again, but he had a job to do. And nobody was going to stop him from doing it. Celestial bond or no celestial bond.

"Honored guests," the Etmean addressed them all as they stood from their seats. "You shall be entering the castle shortly, so please get into your pairings now."

His brows raised in sudden realization. He looked over to Allura only to meet her slightly-widened eyes.

Pairings. Right. He _knew_ they'd forgotten to arrange _something_ in the past three hectic-as-hell days. What it was just didn't hit him until this very moment.

Allura glanced over to the servant. "Excuse me," she said with a gracious smile. "Would you mind stepping out for a few moments? We need to compose ourselves in a certain way before we go, and we'd rather not have it be known." She looked to the rest of them. "Right, everyone?"

They all nodded. Not in perfect unison, but he assumed they all saw the hidden note of urgency in her crystalline eyes. It wasn't a common sight, seeing her so worried. That got them to agree along with it pretty quickly, no questions asked.

The servant bowed his head cordially. "Of course, Princess," he said. "Usually I would be glad to give you all the time you'd need," he gave them an apologetic smile. "But I am afraid the Empresses are expecting you quite soon." He looked to Allura. "You know how disastrous it would be if you dally too long, right?"

Allura nodded. "Of course," she told him. "It won't take long. We just need our privacy for a few moments."

"I will be happy to give it to you, then," he smiled, a warm shine in his pearlescent eyes. "I shall tell the crier you're arriving." He turned to the barely-visible door outline right behind him and pressed a small bright green button on the chrome console next to it on his left. The door folded outwardly in three parts, like a flower in bloom at the simple press of a button.

It showed just a bit of the courtyard leading into the Castle's entrance hall. It was decorated to the nines, going all-out in every aspect. The marble-like path leading up to the castle was gleaming and so clean you could see your reflection as easily as a mirror. The grass changed and shifted into blending colors ever so slowly. Right now they were the soft shade of pink only naturally seen in sunsets back on Earth, the reflection of light against purple clouds in a desert sky.

The 'sunset' of Etme was colder-colored, casting the ornate fountains and elegant statues in an indigo light. The sky was shifting from its usual deep and dark purple to the electric blue of the colony moon's shining light. It was already quickly crawling to take the vacant heavenly mantle, it's much smaller counterpart slower on the uptake. It was barely visible at all.

The servant stepped down the path without a second glance. The instant he was far enough away, Allura looked to everyone else.

"Alright," she said. "We don't have much time. We need pairings with some kind of symbol behind it, stat." She raised a brow, her eyes roaming through all of them. "Any ideas?"

"Does it really matter?" Pidge questioned. "I get that everyone else walked in two or three at a time, but why do _we_ have to? If it's not a cultural thing, why don't we all just walk in at once?"

"I'm afraid we can't do that, number five," Coran told them. "Etmeans place a lot of importance on symbolic gestures. More than three in a group of foreigners entering the castle at a time is considered one of three things-" he extended a finger for each point. "An insult, a sign of cultural ignorance, or a threat. In times such as these, perhaps even an outright declaration of war. Personal first impressions matter diplomatically, and none of these things are good for any kind of alliance."

"Great," Lance sighed, his shoulders dropping with the breath. "So what should we do?" 

Hunk spoke up, his brows furrowed in contemplation. "If it has to be a symbolic thing, why not just go the most direct route?" One brow raised, his eyes darting from one person to another. "Legs of Voltron in one group, Arms in another, and..." He stopped at Keith. "...Oh."

He didn't need to say anything. None of them did.

"That's not a bad idea," Allura was the one to cautiously break the silence. "But perhaps we can try something a bit more complex than that? It could be a little riddle for them to figure out."

"...How about constants and variables?" A quiet voice piped up behind the group. No one else seemed to hear it, but he certainly did. He wanted to know more. Those five words were more than enough to intrigue him. 

"What was that?" Keith turned to Suo, standing meekly out of the discussion. "What do you mean, 'constants and variables'?" He wasn't trying to be accusatory or anything, he was just... curious.

Suo's body immediately tensed up, their hands moving to fidget with each other. "I-I," they tried, then sighed. "I-It's n-nothing, just a-a dumb idea. I-I don't--"

"Hey," Keith interrupted with a soft voice and a reassuring hand on the shoulder. "We're all friends here, Suo. Come on," he gestured out to all of them. "Tell us your idea. We won't make fun of you at all for it." His eyes temporarily moved off of Sup to land on the rest of the group. "Right, guys?" He smiled and looked back when they nodded. "See? Go on ahead. Please."

Their mandibles flickered about hesitantly. Their eyes darted about nervously like a dragonfly. Their shoulders only loosened a little bit. But it was enough for them to start talking again. "Th-There's an old E-Etmean legend that t-t-tells of--" they sighed in frustration, letting their shoulders drop. "S-Screw it, we don't h-have time." They put a hand on Keith's shoulder, nudging him towards Allura.

Keith went willingly, even though he had no idea where they were going with this. Their hand slipped off his shoulder as soon as he was standing at the Princess' side, instead going to do the same to Lance. He was a bit more hesitant, but he went along with it. Probably mostly to be at Allura's side again. Apparently her very presence was enough to make Lance feel safer in any situation.

Same with Hunk, but for different reasons. According to Lance, Allura was an important and commanding presence- the beating heart of Voltron itself. Hunk was a shield and the pinnacle of strength on the Castle of Lions, with a warm and kind heart that could probably power Voltron by itself. They were wary, but kind individuals with physical strength rivaled only by a gradually built will to win this war.

After Keith realized this, he also realized something else- Lance had a type, and both his objects of affections hit that type with the same dead-eye precision Lance liked to brag he possessed.

Suo left Hunk standing next to Pidge and moved Coran along with them into the middle of the group. The pilots of Voltron were split into two pairings now. 

"Th-The Lion switcharound," Suo explained. They gestured to Hunk and Pidge. "The constants," they moved their other hand to gesture over to the remaining three. "A-And the variables." Finally, one hand moved to Coran's shoulder. "Constant on the Castle of Lions," the other rested on their white-robed chest. "And a variable on the Castle of Lions, bridging that gap." They looked to everyone, clasping their hands together. "Does that... m-make sense? Somewha-what?"

"...Yeah, actually," Keith spoke up. "But- not to sound like I think Etmeans are stupid or anything, but..." He looked to Coran with a raised brow. "Do you think they'd get it?"

Coran smiled. "Not to worry, my boy," he said. "The legend Suo mentioned is well-known in Etme. They'll be certain to get it, I'm sure."

"Not that we really have time for a better idea," Allura said, eyes fixated on the archway into the entrance hall. "We need to head in very soon."

Keith shrugged. "Then it'll do," he looked to Suo. "Is it important to go in the order you mentioned, or...?" Suo quickly nodded before he could even finish his question. "Alright. Then let's move out, guys." He did his best to seem confident about going into a crowd almost chock-full of total strangers. With one of the inhabitants being his potential space-soulmate. He smiled like that thought didn't bother him in the slightest. "The public awaits."

Pidge and Hunk were the first to leave, linking arms with natural and comfortable ease. There was no awkwardness to either of them- just two friends hanging out with each other. They headed out, leaving the three other pilots to follow in their footsteps.

Lance's eyes found his with a hint of nervousness that was hard to find if you didn't know what you were looking for. Keith definitely learned how to detect it over the past week. He jerked his head towards Allura slightly and mouthed a simple piece of advice he'd given more than once- 'be natural'. Allura obviously hated his flirtatious (and borderline fuckboy) behavior, especially when that attention was focused on her.

Over the past couple weeks, though... Keith had noticed something else about her. Something no one else openly acknowledged, so he kept it to himself before. When Lance wasn't flinging his 'roguish charm' at her left and right, when he actually _talked to her like she was a regular person,_ not a 'kickass space angel' as Lance once described her, she... didn't mind him at all. If anything, she seemed to like the non-special treatment. The non-idealization. Being let down from the gigantic pedestal he sometimes unintentionally put her on. 

Probably made her feel like a proper part of the group. Not some hapless Princess only there to look pretty, get in peril, and in most cases to be an eventual love interest to one of the guys of the group in the vastly-outnumbering gender ratio. He'd been doing his best to express this to Lance over the past week or so.

Lance nodded and moved to Allura's side with a small smile. "Well," he bowed down, head and all, and raised his hand palm-up in offering to her. He looked up with subtly-dusted cheeks, sparking eyes, and a shy smile. "...Shall we, Princess?

Allura's brows raised in slight surprise for a moment at the gesture. No bad pick- up lines. No cheesy grin. Nothing over the top, just... a simple question. An offer beaming thoroughly with genuineness. It took her a moment to quickly compose herself with a warm smile and a hand smoothly gliding into Lance's.

"We shall," she said, looking over to the other side. "Keith?" She offered him her arm.

Keith tried his best not to look at Lance and the giant smile on his face right now. If feelings were a source of power, the Red Paladin's current expression told him that he had enough to light an entire planet for at least a week. Instead, he focused on Allura and the small carefully-painted dark blue Etmean symbols dotting her face. He nodded and linked their arms together.

Without another word, the three of them moved into the chilly Etmean air. They caught up with Hunk and Pidge fairly easily, waiting behind a smooth white wall with short stairs leading up into the actual hall on either side. It was impossible to see anything but the warm light leaking in from the entrance hall, but he could certainly hear the crowd murmuring. Talking amongst themselves.

"Now, before all of you leave to join in on the ball," the crier announced. "There is but one more group of important individuals to introduce to you all. They're a very important force in the growing Universal war, here to hopefully secure an alliance with our beneficial sovereigns." A hush fell over the crowd immediately. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he had no idea.

The earlier servant poked his head in to check if they were all actually there. He let out a sigh of relief at seeing them, tension loosening in his body. "Thank the Creators," Keith heard him mutter before he actually addressed them. "Come on, first pairing. You guys are on." He smiled. "And good luck."

Hunk and Pidge stepped up to follow him when he left. But they both took the time to look back, their nervous glances pointed at different individuals. Pidge looked over to Keith, and judging by where Hunk's eyes went, he was looking to Lance.

He had no idea how Lance responded, but Keith went with the first reaction he could think of- smiling wide and mouthing 'go get 'em, tiger'. It wasn't much, but it seemed to be enough to assure Pidge's anxiety. As did whatever Lance did for Hunk. The two strode out into the light confidently, stepping up the steps and out of the group's sight.

"Presenting the officials of Voltron's rising coalition," the crier announced. "Starting out with the Yellow and Green Paladins of Voltron themselves." A brief, pregnant pause. No one dared to interrupt it. "For those of you who somehow do not know of them yet- Yellow Paladin Hunk Garret is famed for his adept mind for all things mechanic, whether it be repair or creation. He has always been the pilot of his Lion, famous for its key elements of kindness and a down-to-Etme mentality." A few mutters graced the crowd now. It was hard to tell, but they seemed pretty positive.

Or, at least, not blatantly hateful.

"Green Paladin Pidge Gunderson is much of the same in their claim to fame," the crier continued. "Except instead of physical mechanisms, Pidge tends to find more use out of what commonly lies underneath. Programming code is their specialty, whether it's making their own or rewriting it for their own use. Like the Yellow Paladin, Pidge has always piloted their Lion. Known for an intelligent nature and an inquisitive mind, both Lion and pilot fit together quite well."

A few scattered claps started amongst the crowd. Even when none joined them for a few moments, they kept going shamelessly. They apparently inspired others to join in. It spread quickly and loudly, easily overpowering anything else the crier might've tried to say. It was a hopeful sign.

Eventually, it died down for the crier to continue once more. Allura stepped forward first, making both Paladins at either side of her to follow suit to keep up with her. His heart beat rapidly in his chest. He looked to his side to find Allura's gaze on him, eyebrows drawn slightly in mild concern. The look on her face asked the question she dared not vocalize.

Keith didn't speak, just smiled and nodded. He tried his best to hide his worry about the very important evening ahead of them as they stepped into the light of the entrance hall.

The way was thankfully wide enough for all three of them at once, though with not a lot of room to spare besides it. They stayed close together going up the steps. When Allura stopped just short of the blue carpet's hem on the little marble-esque platform, so did Lance and Keith. The crier only spoke up then, standing a foot behind them.

"Now introducing the Red, Blue, and Black Paladins of Voltron," he said. "Beginning with the Red Paladin himself." For a moment, Keith found himself about to step forward. It took him a moment to remember the crier wasn't talking about him, but Lance. The mentioned Paladin stepped out about halfway with a bright and beaming smile, and Keith scanned the crowd while only half-listening to the crier.

"Red Paladin Lance Rosales is known to be quite a charming individual," Keith resisted the urge to sarcastically roll his eyes as he saw Lance wink at a group of nobles. Most of them gave into the urge Keith resisted, but two took out a peacock feather-like fan and started to fan themselves bashfully. "Not to mention a fairly optimistic and 'goofy' attitude. Such traits caught the attention of the Blue Lion, his previous partnership. But that isn't all."

Lance couldn't hide his surprise fast enough. Keith couldn't do the same for his warm smile before the Red Paladin saw it.

"His fellow Paladins described him as an assortment of the previously mentioned traits, but two went more into depth than that- the Black Paladin and the Yellow Paladin," Both Keith and Lance's brows shot up at that, both pairs of eyes immediately looking to the opposite side of the hall where Hunk and Pidge stood. Hunk merely gave them a small smile. "The Red Paladin, as the Yellow one notes, is an individual with a heart of pure gold. But he has an apt eye for detail and sharp accuracy with his bayard- a rifle of various kinds. As quoted, he's the team's 'cool ninja Sharpshooter'. The Black Paladin described him as his right hand man and 'stability in troubled times'."

He saw Lance's eyes start to glisten and his expression shift to joyful surprise as the crier spoke. But once he finished speaking, that was it. Before anyone could stop him, Lance was bolting for his fellow Paladin with a wide grin on his face. Pidge stepped to the side away from Hunk with familiar ease. They'd probably had to do this more than once.

For good reason too, for Lance didn't just stop at pulling Hunk into a hug. His grin was infectious, spreading over to Hunk's face as he scooped his lanky companion up in his arms. The two of them twirled around laughing happily like they were the only people in the room. Like the eyes of total strangers and important dignitaries weren't upon them.

Not that the crowd seemed to mind at all. The joy had spread to them as well, small warm smiles blooming left and right like a sped-up video of a flower field at the start of spring. Even the cynical Empress looked down upon them fondly, her hand sliding into her wife's as naturally as breath. The two exchanged a look.

"Forgive any intrusion," the softer Empress spoke up. The two of them stopped in place to look at her, Lance still secure in Hunk's arms. "But you two are _absolutely adorable_ together, and you're bound to get this question eventually," she leaned forward, head tilting to the side. "How long have you two been together?"

Keith had to hold back his snicker at how quickly the two's faces turned as red as Lance's patterns. Pidge didn't even try to hide theirs as they stumbled away from each other. Hunk dropped Lance squarely on his feet, and Lance went to quickly fixing his outfit.

"Well, we... uh-" Hunk tried to explain, but wasn't very successful.

"Your Highness, what Hunk's trying to say is," Lance took up the mantle. "We're... uhm, we're not together. We're just..." The award-winning smile he shot looked very genuine as he slung an arm around Hunk's shoulders. Almost genuine enough to even convince Keith. _Almost. "Really_ good friends."

"Ah," the Empress said. "My apologies for the assumption, then." Lance waved it off casually, moving back to his original spot. He shot a smile to Keith, wiping his eyes. She looked to the crier. "Please, continue on."

"Besides him is the Blue Paladin and the Princess of Altea," the crier did as instructed. "Allura. Though her planet was the first victim in the Galra's long and bloody line of carnage and oppression, she's admired by those in her Castle for her remarkably strong will and determination. Many of her fellow Paladins considered her the heart of Voltron- the main driving core behind the coalition- even before she actually became a Paladin. That and her compassion drew the Blue Lion to her, and thus became a Paladin herself."

Allura strode to Lance's side in the middle of the room with professional confidence. Even without the introduction, you could tell she was a noble just by looking at her. She carried that air with her, and it was infectious. When Lance's hand slowly gravitated towards hers, she didn't move it away. She just beat him to the punch. His cheeks flushed slightly when she interlocked their fingers together.

"And last but certainly not least for the Paladins of Voltron- the Black Paladin, Keith Kogane," the crier announced. Keith stood up as straight as he could, trying his best to look dignified. It felt weird, but it looked somewhat convincing. "Black Paladin Keith was described by his fellow Paladins as a fine fighter, training constantly when he could. He mainly kept to himself, trusted his instincts, and was not afraid to take risks seen as 'hotheaded' or 'impulsive'. He protects those fortunate enough to get close to him. Due to these traits, the Red Lion was drawn to him quite quickly."

Keith scanned the crowd as the crier spoke, looking at the varying reactions people were having towards him. A few months ago, this would have been a nightmare scenario for him- stuck in a formal event full of strangers, with most of those strangers staring directly at him. Judging him for everything they believed he was worth. The absence of Shiro would've made it ten times worse.

But as time went on, he found that he... really didn't mind this much at the moment. It still rubbed him the wrong way a little bit, but it was surprisingly easy to push that unease away from him. All he had to do was look to his team- his _family,_ the group of people that he would happily take a few bullets for. (Not just collectively. He'd take bullets for any of them. Each.) Seeing their warm expressions just... wiped all worries away from his mind. 

"Yet when the previous Black Paladin disappeared," he picked up, paying attention to the crier once more. "Keith reluctantly stepped up to take up the mantle left behind. His fellow Paladins described him as a developing leader- not perfect, but not as disastrous as some part of each of them previously thought. He is deeply empathetic, and thus 'a surprising source of support' on many issues. He has never been known for refusal of any sort- as the Red Paladin puts it, 'you never get a complaint, never an 'I can't do that'. He never hesitates.' His fellow Paladins respect him deeply, and they all described him as 'a promising leader'."

Keith's brows raised in surprise. He... wasn't expecting that. Not that he was expecting anything insulting, but some small part expected them to lie somehow. Probably to cover up some socially 'ugly' aspect of his. Or build him up to seem like more than he actually was. But they... didn't. They were completely honest about it all. About all of him, even the imperfections.

He couldn't help but smile as he walked up to Allura's side. His eyes roved the majorly positive reactions of the crowd.

They stopped right in their tracks at a familiar sight.

A sea of heavenly gold surrounding an identical set of lush midnight blue islands, a sight that always filled him with wonder and tired joy- Lotor's eyes. He was a face in the crowd, standing just in the doorway to Keith's right. Barely noticeable to anyone else, but Keith noticed him immediately.

Their eyes locked at the exact same time.

Lotor's eyes mirrored his, widened in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> seriously, I thrive off of that sweet Validation (especially in long comments)  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally talk it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 100k guys!! oh my god!!  
> as a little celebration, I compiled a little playlist of songs that fit this fic thus far (at least, ones I believe do)  
> https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLot-rxBWuXV5rWBT-DirBcFb2Scywoniw  
> i will be adding more songs as the fic progresses, but I hope you guys enjoy this and from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for the support!  
> Enjoy!

For a full-on minute, Keith didn't hear a single word the crier said. Every neuron in his brain was firing rapidly, trying to remember every detail about the sight before him. Lotor's brows were raised higher than he'd ever seen, his glossy lips parted slightly. His eyes didn't leave Keith's face even for a split second. For the first time since they'd met, Lotor looked completely and utterly _stunned._

But that wasn't what Keith decided to focus on.

It was dedicating itself to working overtime on worry. Sure, Lotor looked stunned rather than angry with him, but that could just be an initial reaction. Any moment now, that could easily change. His expression would change as his own mind properly registered the surprising bit of new information that they were at the same place at the same time once again. Without any previous arrangements, even. Keith would get a confirmation or denial of his suspicions and he could properly move on from there. All he had to do was wait just a little bit longer, right?

Wrong. If there was a loud buzzer around, it would definitely go off as soon as the softer Empress spoke. Wanting to be respectful, he tore his eyes away from Lotor's visage to turn his attention to the true matters at hand. His personal worries could wait until later. They still had a mission at hand. He had to remember that.

...Yet he allowed himself one more moment of weakness. One more glance at Lotor to see what he should do to diffuse a potential situation they were probably bound to have.

Yet when he found where Lotor had been standing, the prince was nowhere to be seen. Not even in the crowd as far as Keith could tell. He was just... gone, without a trace to trail behind.

He didn't want to assume anything prematurely, and nothing was set in stone, but... His mind couldn't help but jump to the most likely conclusion. Given his track record, Keith really should be used to this kind of thing. But he had to admit, it stung like a tidal wave on an open wound.

He looked back to the Empresses.

"-an honor to finally meet all of you," he finally paid attention what the Empress was actually saying. She was standing from her seat now, her torso-long one-shoulder 'sleeve' trailing on the top of her seat. "I must say, all of you look _divine_ this evening. Our designers did a wonderful job on each and every one of you." She looked to her wife with a smile. "Didn't they, Dremor?"

Empress Dremor stood from her own seat. "Indeed," she agreed with a curt nod, then fixed her eyes upon them. "I commend all of you on following our traditions. I must admit, I wasn't expecting you all to do so." She didn't smile once as her pure milky white eyes glanced at every single one of them with a hard, unimpressed expression. She scanned them all like she could see everything about each individual she pointed her attention to. 

Hunk flinched slightly, barely enough to actually notice. Suo averted their eyes, drawing into themselves like an invisible cocoon wrapped around them. When her eyes landed on him, Keith stared right back. Ruler or not, he wasn't going to be intimidated in the slightest. Especially not in the fiery feelings that were quickly conquering his mind. He wasn't in the mood to bow his head or glance away. No matter how disrespectful the little defiances might be.

But he still needed to stay the Etmeans' good side for the coalition, so he decided to bite the bullet and try his hand at diplomacy. No one else seemed to want to say anything anyways. Might as well be him. "Thank you, Empress," Keith said flatly. "We appreciate the compliment greatly."

Dremor placed her clawed hands accented with small glowing white crystals on the dark ash-grey on the balcony railing and leaned forward. Her eyes focused directly on him, the gazes of the crowd and his teammates surely following suit. He didn't know, mainly because he didn't check. He was too busy trying to stay completely and composed as he unwaveringly kept the Empress' gaze.

"It was not a compliment, Black Paladin," Dremor told him, keeping up their initiated yet unspoken staring contest. "Unless you believe acknowledgements of a shred of knowledge on basic diplomatic etiquette count as such." Maybe it was just his eyes fooling him, but he could have sworn the sparkling gold like spilled glowing embers trailing down the upper half of her otherwise black dress flickered. Maybe it was just a trick of the lighting. He didn't really care. Her head tilted to the side, looking at him like one would a child. "Do you, Black Paladin? Do any of you?"

"I assure you," he answered, trying his hardest not to toe the line _just a little bit._ Even if this Empress was kinda acting like a belittling asshole right now, he had to remember that she was an _important ally for the coalition._ Insulting her wouldn't help their cause, no matter how tempting she was almost intentionally making it. He had to keep reminding himself of that fact. "None of us do, your Grace. I was simply grateful that you realized our competence."

Her brows raised. She broke their little competition by instead glancing over to her wife. Her wife placed a smooth and gentle-looking hand on Dremor's shoulder, shooting her a soft smile. The two Empresses stared at each other for a few dragging moments. The softer Empress moved her hand to her wife's clenched one gently, silently urging it to open. Dremor caved in to the unspoken demand and quickly moved her hands off the balcony railing to take her wife's hands in them.

Finally, Dremor sighed and looked back down to the people silently waiting for her reaction. "Competency is a start," she said with a following hum. "...Of sorts. S'Asith and I shall have to see for ourselves if you can offer anything more than that." With that, she left through the ornate glasslike door that curled open for her.

Empress S'Asith only had enough time to shoot one last smile back to them before following behind her wife. "We shall speak again soon," she called out to them. "Enjoy the ball, everyone!" In a few fleeting moments, she too was gone to join in the festivities.

The other guests were quick to file in through the side doors to do the same as their rulers. None of them dared take the entrance in front of the Paladins. From what Keith saw, very few even bothered to steal a glance at them as they left the hall. Soon enough it was just them and a few servants dedicated to cleaning the few messes left behind.

In the fleeting moments they had left, the inhabitants of the Castle of Lions huddled together like a football team. In some abstract way, they kind of were- a group of powerful individuals preparing themselves to tackle a hefty challenge in front of them. Sports never really interested him, but he imagined that pre-game jitters carried the intense energy all of them had. High, kind of nervous, but determined to get out there and get the job done.

"Alright team," Keith started. "This is it. We need these guys on our side for their support and ayxi... auxi..." He struggled with pronouncing the stupidly long and complicated name of the Etmean-exclusive material. He didn't try for long, sighing in frustration. His first team pep-talk, and he was already ruining it. Great. "The living metal stuff. Anyways, we need to pull out all the stops for impressing these guys, okay?" 

He took the time to look at each and every one of them. "I know you guys," he said. "And I know each and every one of you can do it. Just don't do anything stupid and we should be fine." He smiled. "Knock 'em dead, diplomatically." Allura, Coran, and Suo's eyebrows shot up in shocked almost perfect unison at that. "Earthling expression- it just means _really_ impress them."

"Oh," Coran sighed out in relief. "That makes sense. And it's auxirgütilianite, by the way." It just rolled off his tongue like it was the simplest name in the universe. "Just for clarification. Please continue."

Keith nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you, Coran," his gaze returned to the rest of the group. "Everyone's got their comms on them, right?" Most immediately nodded, with only Lance actually checking his little pocket to make sure of it. Soon after, he shot Keith a thumb up. That was all he really needed. All they really needed to get going on this.

Well, there was no point in drawing this out any further. A few of the servants were starting to shoot questioning glances at them. "Good," he said. "You don't need me to tell you what to use 'em for. Unless someone wants to say something to everyone before we separate, let's do this, guys."

"Wait," Lance said. "Can we all do something before we go our separate ways?" He shrugged. "It's kinda dumb, but I think it'd get us in the right mood for this." He shot Hunk and Keith a smile. "It's a chant you guys know pretty well." He raised a brow at Keith. "Know what I mean?"

He had a sneaking suspicion. Part of him really wanted to turn it down- it was dumb and an unnecessary waste of valuable time. But it would pump up the team, and they had a long evening laid out in front of them. They needed all the energy they could possibly get to really get their head in the game.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "Do it. Quickly."

The bright beaming grin that bloomed on Lance's face was almost worth it. He perked up, his mood immediately lifting even higher than it already was. "Alright guys," he stuck his arm out into the middle of the circle. "Everyone, stack your hands on top of mine." Hunk and Pidge were the first to do so, Keith and Coran following close behind. Allura was next, and Suo was a hesitant last participant. Eventually they put their hand in as well.

"This cheer's pretty simple- it comes with the instructions." Lance told everyone, and Keith resisted the urge to roll his eyes. When he spoke next, his voice was significantly louder. "When I say 'Vol', you say 'Tron'! Vol!"

"Tron!" Nearly everyone called out. Keith didn't. Even if he did, he would've stuck out like a sore thumb. There was no way he'd be able to muster up the same level of convincing enthusiasm the rest of the team happily expressed. Might as well not even try to. Lip syncing would probably be enough.

Of course, the Red Paladin didn't make it that easy.

"I can't hear all of you," Lance said. "Let's try this again: _Vol!"_

 _"Tron!"_ Once again, they cheered along. Even louder than the first time they did..

"Come on, Keith!" Lance called him out. "We're gonna keep doing this 'till you actually join in. Might as well just get it over with, man! Again, with _real feeling_ this time: _Vol!"_

This time, Keith gave in and went along with the rest of the team. _"Tron!"_

He had to admit, it was easier than he thought it would be to sound enthusiastic about the unnecessary chant. Mainly because of the excited adrenaline pumping through his veins and his heart riding the high popping with energy that everyone else in the huddle was already on. The camaraderie was easy to get lost in.

Not that he was complaining about it. It felt really weird, yet... _right_ at the same time. As Keith joined in on the rising sea of hands with one last triumphant cry of _"Vol-Tron!",_ he couldn't help but feel like things in his life had finally clicked. This team was where he truly belonged.

After a lifetime of being alone, it was like a breath of fresh air reviving his tired lungs. Even if he never saw Lotor or Shiro again, Keith would turn out fine. It would sting like hell, but for the first time in his entire life, he had people to fall back on. People he knew would be there for him. No matter what happened.

Those thoughts rejuvenated him, bolstered his confidence plenty. When he strode into the main ballroom with them at his side, he felt like a million bucks. Like he was perched up so high that no one would have a slight chance in dragging him down. He didn't _want_ to be dragged down from this. It was the best state of mind to be into for plunging into a huge crowd of people.

The first few minutes were an absolute blur. He didn't even have time keep track of where the rest of the team went. Let alone time to stop and admire the elegant architecture or the carefully crafted carvings of the Etmean Castle's walls. It was just a rush of words and touches, only a few coming from him in the latter. He made conversation well enough. Mostly he just let them talk, noting each person's face so he'd recognize them if he needed to.

Most of them were kind and courteous to him. Usually they told him a small personal story about how Voltron improved their life. How the team gave them hope again. How the coalition saved the life of them or a loved one. The kind of stories he was expecting to hear, but ones that warmed his heart nevertheless.

Sprinkled in there were the assholes who wanted to vent to him about how Voltron was ruining their life somewhat. Either because of personal property damage they caused during a battle or just because they liked the Galra way of life and didn't want things to change. He bit his tongue most of the time, holding back the urge to punch them for some of the points they brought up. He did what he did during his early days at the Garrison- stone-faced listening, resisting every urge to retaliate that'd get him in trouble.

When a familiar three-fingered hand grabbed at his arm to pull him away from the worst one so far, he was grateful for it. Though the fact that Suo actually did so surprised him a bit. So did their excited expression. There were practically stars in their eyes, lighting up the wide smile they wore as they clung to his arm excitedly.

"Suo," he said. "What's up? Is something wrong, or...?"

"Oh," They shook their head rigorously with a chuckle. "No, no, no. Nothing's wrong. Th-the opposite, in fact."

He raised a brow. "Then... why did you pull me over here, exactly?" He asked. "Not that I mind, but... you know."

Suo nodded. "I-I understand what you mean, I just," they stopped to giggle a bit, waving their unoccupied hand up and down rapidly. They chuckled nervously, but their smile didn't even falter. "S-Sorry, I-I just... I'm so excited, I just can't _contain it all."_ They pointed to their left, likely directed at a shimmering mint green figure assumedly of the same race as Suo. "S-See that i-important-looking m-man over there?"

He certainly did look important. Not that everyone else at the ball didn't, but the man Suo was pointing out stood out from the crowd. Not in his pretty standard lab coat-esque suit decorated with silver like trimmings. He looked seasoned in every aspect- from the subtle wrinkles under his eyes to the bony yet well-kept hands, even to the patches of cloudy white on his scaly skin.

No, the way he carried himself made him stand out. The man moved and acted like a well-respected man who knew just how much he's respected by those around him. He looked pretty confident about himself and his abilities. Keith couldn't help but wonder why.

"Yeah, I see him," he confirmed, Suo immediately putting their hand down afterwards. "What of it? Who is he?"

"His name is Ulin-Drana," Suo told him, starting off at least somewhat calm and collected. That would quickly change in their growing rampancy to explain the significance of this guy. "You know how my colony's dedicated to studying how the Empire makes their Robeasts, right?" They only continued once he nodded. "Well, because of the growing intensity of the war, most of my people's main homeworld Tal'Oriek has dedicated a lot of resources to make sure the project yields results. Nearly all our research colonies, resources from our allies like Demetha, and the like. It's a monumental project. _I'm_ only a field researcher and courier for one mere branch of it," they gestured to Ulin once again. _"He's_ the head overseer of it all."

He was starting to see just where this was going, but he didn't want to assume anything. Plus Suo looked like they wanted to continue and explain it all. He probably wouldn't get a chance to learn all this again anytime soon. It'd be a waste to just cut it off now. Might as well take this opportunity while he had it.

"He's an absolute _genius,"_ Suo indeed continued. "Without him and his theories on alchemy and possible forms of harnessing the right amount and set of genes in an individual's body to bolster and tap into their potential as a construct, we'd be much farther back in figuring the Empire's methods out." 

They sighed in admiration as they stared at Ulin, but their face quickly fell. "I've... always wanted to meet him, talk to him in person, but... I'm barely a blip on his radar. I-I don't wanna waste his time." They looked to Keith. "But it wouldn't waste his time to introduce him to a legendary Paladin of Voltron." They shrugged. "You looked like you wanted out of that conversation, so I went with you." Their brows furrowed slightly in concern. "W-Was I wrong about that?"

"No," Keith told them and shook his head. "You weren't." He shot them a smile. "I'd love to meet him, but I need you to remember something important first," he faced them directly, his eyes focusing only on the glassy ocean green of their own. "You're not any less important than him, Suo. Even a tiny spark can light a bonfire," he smiled. "and even 'only a field researcher' can change the most important things. Trust me."

Suo's brows raised in surprise. "I..." Their mandibles fluttered as they searched for something to reply. Finally they settled on the easiest answer for now. After all, they didn't have all evening. "Thank you, Keith." Their grip on his arm tightened for a moment in an appreciative squeeze. "I-I can't even _begin_ to tell you how much your assurances mean to me."

They began to walk together, sides barely brushing. Suo's hand hesitantly started to pull away from him as people glanced their way and whispered amongst themselves. But he just kept going, shooting them a reassuring look. The hand stayed. "You don't need to," he said. "I know what it feels like. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just keep your head up and in the moment, and you should be fine."

"Wise words," they said. "Are they from another popular Earthling phrase or did you just make them up right now?"

Keith chuckled halfheartedly. "Not exactly the former," he confessed. "But close enough. It was the same advice someone... very important to me once gave me when I needed it most." His smile fell. "He had a habit of doing that." He decided to simply leave it like that. Better that way than any other.

Suo gave them a pondering look, but didn't say a single word in response. They just kept walking, and they didn't let go of his arm for a second. Not even when they finally got up to Ulin. If anything, their grip on his arm only tightened the closer they got.

"Ulin-Drana," their voice stayed surprisingly calm and even. Though he felt fingers dig into his arm once Ulin turned his nebulous purple eyes towards the two. "I'm Suo-miraan, of colony Tal'Zoryic." They bowed their head down slightly in greeting.

Ulin did the same, his pale green brows raising in pleasant surprise. "Oh," he said. "You're the representative for recreations I've heard about, then." His scratched and faded mandibles fluttered oddly, but this didn't seem to bother Suo. Keith just figured it was a cultural thing and left it at that. He didn't bother to question what they were actually doing, especially once Suo quickly started to copy those movements for a few moments of synchronization. Finally Ulin stopped and looked to Keith with a smile. "Which must make you one of the Paladins of Voltron."

"It does," the smile was easier to conjure up than he imagined it would be. "The Black Paladin, to be more specific." He extended a hand towards the surprised man. "But you can just call me Keith if you want to, Head Overseer."

Ulin chuckled at that. "There's no need for calling me by my title," he said, taking Keith's hand with an easygoing smile. The sparkle in his eye reminded Keith of the stars above them. "I haven't done anything to earn that from someone like you quite yet." He shook Keith's hand pretty steadily, despite his frail-looking hands. Holding a hand with three fingers felt kind of weird, but Keith didn't let that stop him from reciprocating. "You however, Black Paladin, have done _more than enough_ to earn nearly anyone's respect."

"Well, thank you," Keith told him. "I'll definitely keep that in mind, but don't sell yourself short." He gestured over to Suo. "Suo here was just telling me about your own accomplishments. They wanted to talk to you about some, if you had the time." He looked over to Suo. "And if that's still the case."

They nodded their head rigorously. "Of _course_ I do," they said. "But do you want to stay for it, or...?" They didn't exactly look like they wanted him to, but they wanted to give him the option.

Keith shook his head. "I'm good, thank you. I have someone of my own here to track down. Besides," He elbowed Suo slightly before drawing his arm away from their grip. "I'd probably be lost in the first minute or so anyways." He shot them a smile and a quick pat on the shoulder. "I'll just leave you two to it."

Suo shot him one last hesitant look. Not like they didn't want him to leave or anything, more like... they wanted to know if he actually wanted to leave them alone or only did it for their own comfort. A question he couldn't really answer at the moment, but one he could make an effort to. Even if that effort was just a simple smile and a single nod.

Neither of them said anything. They didn't need to, and Suo didn't need him to comfort them along every step. Keith served his purpose, and he served it well in his own opinion. Suo understood his gestures and mirrored them, and Keith simply went back into the crowd.

He couldn't help but feel a small surge of pride. Both for himself and for Suo. This wasn't a huge leap of progress for either of them, but even a baby's step in the right direction could make all the difference.

It didn't take long for his attention to get occupied in some other way, anyways. 

It happened so quickly, he could barely even process it. He was moving through a particularly big portion of guests, mainly keeping an eye out for the rest of the team. Making sure they were all doing fine, having fun and whatnot. He tried his best not to bump into people along the way, but the few he did brush against didn't seem to mind. He'd say his passing apologies and be on his way.

Only one time was different than all of the others that had happened over the course of the young evening. Instead of a mere brush, it was a full-on jostle of his right side. So much so that his fellow bumpee's hand ended up flat on his arm for a split second. It was the briefest touch, but it felt like it filled his skin with electricity that laced through his nerves and set the hair on the back of his neck up. The planned apology died on the tip of his tongue as sudden sensations fluttered through his mind, mental pictures flipping through like a slideshow.

The smell of warm spices and something... _like_ pine needles (yet not quite) reawakened in his memory. Flashes of long, silky and smooth white hair taunted his wanting mind. The symphony of soft early-morning grogginess, an admiring yet proper tune, and melodious and uplifting laughter played and blended together. The soft touch he'd just gotten was nothing compared to the ones he'd received weeks ago. Many memories of the man went backwards in his mind, up until the first Keith had ever gotten- that fateful first sight of Lotor bathed in the moonlight on the Vrynean Castle's balcony.

 _"Lotor,"_ he thought out loud, barely a whisper. In that moment, everything clicked together. He had no idea how or why his brain did that, but he certainly wasn't complaining. "Excuse me, I... I have to go." He was in such a rush to find the spot where he had a feeling the prince would be, he barely even noticed the expressionless one he'd bumped into, let alone take much time to apologize to her. Or the colorful companion at her side, beaming at their little nudge of a plan well done.

Even without viable sight in the castle, the one he'd bumped into still managed to hit her knuckles into her companion's when she silently offered. Not that Keith had the slightest chance in hell at seeing it. His mind was severely one-tracked at the moment.

He moved with the urgency of a man possessed. There was an urgency to his movements, hyperaware of the importance each passing second held. He could almost feel the time slipping through his fingers. Each was more important than the last, laced with the irrational worry of what would happen if he dallied at all on his way to see Lotor.

Keith didn't dare stop anything of his, let alone his thoughts. Logic was thrown out the window completely, little thoughts of 'wait, _why_ am I doing this?' drying up faster than his pet fish Goldie to the open air. (In his defense, he thought Goldie needed a breather. As a naïve 3-year-old, he thought fish just held their breaths for a very long time. Anyways, not the point.)

Point was, Keith had complete control of his body. If he really wanted to, he could have stopped himself at any time. Turn heel and forget that this, along with whatever had been developing between him and Lotor, ever even happened. Thoughts considering it were few and far between on the way to the closest balcony door, but they still happened. He had every opportunity to listen to them and stop this in its tracks.

He just didn't want to. He didn't want to listen to his rational thoughts and conflicting instincts for once in his life. He didn't want to stop and think things through more. If he did, that was it. Reality would finally catch up to him rather than trailing behind his heels, reaching out to stop his with long and gnarled fingers. Time would steal him away in a rush until it was too late to try again. Lotor would be lost to him for a long time, if not forever.

Call him cheesy, but he liked to think this was the work of fate at its finest. Ushara was giving him a chance. By the Creators, he was going to take it. All he had to do was get into the same mindset he naturally went into during any kind of combat- the mindless, wonderful impulsiveness where he could depend only on the right kind of instincts. The instincts that were urging him with every step, cheering him on as the balcony door curled open at sensing his proximity. They were much easier for him to listen to at the moment.

The slight chill of Etme's evening air washed over him as he stepped out onto the balcony. Unlike Vrynea's small-spaced balconies, Etme's Castle had much more expansive space. The balcony was one continuous ring around the main (and highest) portion of the building, bordered with thick elegantly-carved chrome railings and decorated sparsely with assorted pieces of furniture. A few yards below was a dark purple maze of some sort, crystalline and extremely elaborate. The view beyond it all was astonishing- smooth rolling mountains as far as the eye could see, as black as a little-recognized foundation of life: well-fertilized soil. It contrasted the dim glowing moonlight perfectly.

The picturesque view whisked his mind away for a quick moment. It made him drop his guard as his attention pointed elsewhere. Enough for him not to notice the fairly obvious other visitor on the balcony, leaning casually against the wall right next to the door.

"Keith," the soft and familiar voice made him jump in place slightly. He whirled around to see just what he expected to just a few feet away from him- Lotor. Once again looking heavenly in the soft moonlight. Not as free and open or ethereal as the first time he saw the prince, but the sight still stunned him for a moment. "I should have known you'd come here eventually, ga wáran." He strode up to Keith, confidence and dignity in every aspect but his eyes. They showed his true feelings- soft, pure concern- as they roved over the Black Paladin's form. "You're looking quite well tonight." He raised a brow, reaching to cup his face with a warm smile. "How have you been?"

In that moment, something flared up in Keith. Something that had been quietly fuming in him since Lotor just stopped talking to him. Something that had been ignored and silenced and rationalized away in his mind in every form imaginable since its conception. None of those thing hindered it at all. If anything, they helped it grow even more powerful. Powerful enough to hide in the shadows of his mind undetected, a predator lying in wait for the right situation to befall it. An explosion just waiting for the simplest of triggers to wreak havoc.

It was the irrational spurned anger that he thought he'd succeeded in pushing into the depths of nothingness, never to be seen again. With good reason- he hadn't felt that way at all for the past 5 days. But now, with the target of it all so close- so _assuming_ of the ease of Keith's forgiveness- it was impossible to quell. It would not be silenced again.

So when Lotor's hand was barely a hair away from his face, Keith slapped it away with an indignant look. "No," he said, completely ignoring analyzing Lotor's expression. The fire was too high and bright for him to see past it. "You don't just get to _do that."_

Lotor looked bewildered and hurt, holding his slapped hand in the other. "Don't get to do what?" He looked sincerely confused. "I... I don't understand."

Keith huffed out a sigh. "The shit you've pulled," he answered. "All of it." He gestured along as he was talking, venting out the flames. "You don't get to just... waltz into my life, being so goddamn _kind_ and _understanding_ to me!" The fire was fading quickly. He knew that none of this was intentionally Lotor's fault, but these were words he'd always needed to say. Not to a specific person, but to any on a list that slowly grew as Keith's life went on. "You don't get to be there for me, no matter the time or reason, just because you care." His fists clenched. "Until you don't. Until you're not. You don't get to become an important part of my life and then just _fucking leave it_ like..." The tension in his body dropped. The flash fire that raged through him was finally done, leaving him a husk with tears pricking his eyes.

He'd been bottling this up for far too long. Always rehearsed similar yet different versions of it in his head whenever someone else in his life left it. Mom's had always been short, mainly just asking why she'd leave him behind. The one for Dad was always white-hot with anger, the culmination of years of a wrong name and harsh discipline wrapped up in an ugly big bow of lifelong abandonment issues. Shiro's was... He didn't come up with one for Shiro at first. But the first few days after he disappeared again, Keith came up with one that held the rawness of a reopened wound. That was exactly how the second disappearance felt.

Keith had always imagined getting his chance at reciting one of them, but he never thought he'd actually be able to. He thought it was a chance he'd never truly get until this very moment. It was a poignant moment in his mind, the point where he could finally vent properly and move on from it. He'd always imagined his demeanor to be calm and collected, showing how far he'd come from the vulnerable position they each left him in. Intentionally or not.

Never did he imagine himself shaking like a leaf in the wind, fists tightly clenched and tears in his eyes. Never did he imagine the words catching in his throat, or them being aimed at someone who... probably didn't even deserve it. Regret quickly filled the void anger left behind. It didn't make his internal struggle not to cry in front of Lotor at a public diplomatic event any easier.

 _God,_ why was he so goddamn _stupid?_ He knew he shouldn't have come out here; he knew he had every opportunity to stop in his tracks and turn back around to ignore it all. But he didn't. He kept going and got himself stuck in this mess like an impulsive, hotheaded _idiot._ Lotor was probably in the process of figuring that out in the moment, if he hadn't already. Keith couldn't tell at the moment- his vision was too blurred with tears he kept trying to blink away. He did it. He'd ruined everythi-

The thought was swiftly interrupted by a strong pull into something... soft and warm. An oddly relaxing scent of metallic oil and a hint of the pine needle-esque smell he'd grown to love blanketed him just like the strong arms wrapped around his trembling frame. A particularly long strand of silky smooth and soft hair tickled his nose after he felt something steady and bony rest lightly on his head. Lotor's embrace was strong, soft, and full of warmth and life- just the pick-me-up Keith had needed at the moment. 

"I-I'm..." He didn't know what to say to make this whole situation somewhat less shitty. He dug this hole for himself, now he had to crawl back out of it. He finally gave in to what his ignored instincts had been screaming at him to do- talk things out and accept whatever happens because of it. The hug wasn't a bad start. He rested his head against Lotor's chest, his weary arms finally embracing the prince's frame like that was where they truly belonged. For a moment, he let the comfort of Lotor's heartbeat assure him. "I'm _so sorry._ I-I know that I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, but..." Tears finally raced down his cheeks, silent quicksilver streaks. His voice caught in his throat.

"...But you couldn't help it," Lotor finished for him softly. "I know. Without your voice to fill the void, the resulting darkness culminates in the mind. Thoughts full of doubt, fear, worry- perhaps some combination of the three. It only gets worse the longer you ignore it, so there's no need to apologize for finally letting it out." There was a heavy pause before Lotor spoke up again. "And... forgive me if I'm wrong or prying too much into your personal business, but I sensed that something like that had been building for a long time."

Keith didn't dare say anything. He just nodded, taking care not to hit Lotor's chin resting on it too harshly.

The resulting chuckle that spilled from Lotor's lips was soft, but not happy in the slightest. Moreso... tired and sad. "I understand to some extent," he confessed. "Not to the same intensity, but when I was a boy I used to imagine what I'd say if I ever got to meet my father. Occasionally my mind drifts back there. I was mainly just concerned for you, but bits of those feelings still faded in and out."

Keith let that information wash over him silently. He finally dared to speak after a moment, voice raw and wavering slightly. "Why weren't you able to talk to me?" He hesitated for a moment. "...If you want to talk about it."

"Ah," Lotor said. "I was going to lead into this anyways, but since you've asked- my fear for your safety that week was heightened due to a... certain event." The prince swallowed, likely around a lump in his throat. "I... The night you were shot, the night you... _died,"_ his voice broke on the last word, his arms tightening on Keith's frame. "...was the night my mother did the same. For the time I didn't hear from you, I feared that you had joined her. I was overjoyed when my fears were proven wrong, but when you confirmed those fears? I'd dropped my comm in a state of shock. When it passed, I picked it up... Only to see it was broken. If I could, I would have happily talked to you, but..."

"...But you weren't able to." Keith finished for him. "I... Lotor, I had no idea. My condolences for your mom."

From how Lotor's chin moved, he could only guess the prince was smiling. "Thank you," he said. "Your kindness is much appreciated. I'm just glad to be able to see you again, hala." Lotor's arms on him loosened as a new gentle melody wafted through the doorway from the main room out to the two of them. "...Hm." He moved his arms off of Keith to step forward slightly. "It seems the dancing period has begun already."

Keith looked over to see couples were starting to gather together in the lull of the song's introduction. "Huh," he said. "It looks like it." He couldn't see Lotor's expression, the prince's back turned to him. "...Lotor, what are you thinking?"

"Keith," Lotor said, turning to him with an earnest smile. "Would you do me the honor of joining them alongside me?"

His brows immediately raised in surprise. Heat flared up in his skin, likely flushing his face. "Lotor," He wiped his tears away. "What... What are you saying?"

He extended a hand towards the Paladin in a silent offering. "I'm saying 'Dance with me, ga wáran.'"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I couldn't really fit a worthwhile description of what the empresses are wearing anywhere without cutting into the story too much, here's what their outfits basically look like if you wanna know  
> {empress s'asith: https://goo.gl/images/9K9nPw  
> empress dremor: https://goo.gl/images/tp75JD }  
> comments are always appreciated! seriously, I thrive off of that sweet Validation  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dancing period begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's nothing to really say here, so...  
> enjoy!

Keith... had no idea what to say. His heart immediately leapt into his throat at the gentle offer, blocking any passages for his words to escape into the open air.

It wasn't that he didn't want to dance with Lotor or anything like that. He certainly did. It was just that... He'd definitely improved at most Etmean dances, ranging from near-perfect to barely enough to keep up. He knew Lotor- the prince wouldn't care about that. But any Etmean officials who watched him clumsily attempt at their traditions definitely would. Especially if they could spin it into something to slander Voltron as a whole.

Or even worse, find a way to figure out Lotor's identity. Whoever was looking for the prince probably wasn't sending assassins anymore, but that was probably because they hadn't found where he was yet. That could all change just because of him. He'd never want to put anyone in that kind of danger over a stupid dance, let alone Lotor.

It'd just be flat-out _insulting_ if after all of this trouble, Lotor got in serious trouble. Especially if it was because of some gossipy tabloid wondering why the 'famed Black Paladin' would pick him for the special first dance of the night. All of the Paladins' first dances were probably going to be monitored closely. Another symbolic cultural thing he had to worry about.

"I..." He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but..." 

Lotor raised a brow. Not suspicious or even mean-spirited in the slightest, just... curious. "'But...'?" His offering hand never faltered in its place. Just stayed there for Keith, even when it probably shouldn't.

"I'm not really a good dancer." He laughed halfheartedly. Trying to lighten the awkward mood. "Like, at _all."_

"That isn't a problem," Lotor reassured with an easy smile. "Or, at least, it's one that can be fixed rather easily. You can lead in the dance. If you don't know- in Etmean dances, 'leading' is much easier. Less gymnastics are required."

"Well, yeah," Keith told him. "I knew that already. The entire team's been practicing for a couple hours every day for the past week or so. That's not what I'm worried about." He worried his bottom lip between his teeth in... well, worry. "What does worry me is... Is..."

He trailed off for a moment, unsure of what exactly to say to express himself. Everything he tried out in his head just felt... off somehow. Just not right for the situation. Maybe a completely different approach to it would work.

"I want to dance with you. Really, I do." He raised a brow in concern. "But aren't you worried I'll still mess up and you end up falling? What if I manage to hurt you on accident?" His shoulders raised slightly at every question. His mind raced with even more questions imagining hypothetical situations where this could turn out wrong for either (or both) of them. Another question clumsily tumbled down and off his lips. "What if-?"

"Keith." Just his name and Lotor's hands cupping his face gingerly was enough to shut him up for the moment. Keith stopped, both to admire the soft press of the prince's skin upon his own (he could admit that to himself, right?) and the earnest look on Lotor's face. His eyes made a point to stay in his without a moment of hesitation. "I like you. I _trust_ you."

Two sentences. Six words. All of which practically overflowing with the rare rainwater of sincerity. Something he'd been extremely lacking in back on Earth. Lotor meant every word. There was no doubt about that.

But words were fickle. No matter how loaded with care and appreciation, they would eventually fade into obscurity. Lotor was probably just saying this to make him feel better. There were lots of people who did that back at the Garrison- people who, while Shiro was there, either hated his guts and/or never gave him the time of day. Yet once Shiro was officially pronounced dead on Kerberos, a good majority of those people switched from barely batting an eyelash at him all the way to trying to get close to him. He didn't know why. He didn't care. All he'd do is drive them away, make them not even want to try.

It wasn't the same situation here, but his shithead of a brain couldn't help but draw any parallels it possibly could. Sure, Lotor could mean those words. But why say them now? Was he just trying to reassure Keith with a pretty lie or an empty truth? Were they really sincere, or was he- in his deeply comfort-desperate subconscious- just trying to convince himself that they were? Reaching for something not really there at all?

His attention went right back to Lotor as he spoke. Mainly because he hoped for an answer to any on his questions.

"You don't believe me." He said this as if he knew this as fact. Keith didn't dare to deny it, for it was exactly as Lotor predicted. He just averted his eyes in shame and nodded reluctantly. There was a pause, which did absolutely nothing to reassure him that everything wasn't falling apart while he did nothing to stop it.

"Keith," Lotor's voice was soft, his hands softly pushing his chin up, softly and silently urging him to look up. Lotor was always soft and smooth and _refined-_ an elegant gilded statue carved with an abundance of love and care. Keith was always jagged and callous and _rough-_ a broken glass trying oh-so-very hard to put itself back together. He was trying, always making progress, but he still wasn't quite the same as he once was. Probably never would be again.

What someone like Lotor saw in a guy like him, he'd probably never know. But he might as well hear him out for now and see what he had to say. He looked at Lotor.

"Whether or not we dance tonight isn't important right now," Lotor said. "If you don't wish it or anything else, all you'd have to do is ask me to stop. You not wanting to dance doesn't bother me in the slightest. You have never even _remotely_ been a bother to me." A brief pause as Keith let those words sink in. "...But I can't help but feel as if I need to let you know something. Something... fairly important I need you to believe as the truth it is."

"Okay," Keith tried his best to stay calm and neutral. He knew this would be a good thing. Possibly good enough to fish him out of the familiar hollow pit he was quickly sinking into. "Uh... what would that be?"

"That six measly words are not enough to describe my affections towards you," Lotor said calmly. "That they're barely scratching the surface of an entrenched ocean. I cannot describe it any other way than that." The prince moved his hands from Keith's face to his shoulders securely. 

Like a deer trapped in blinding yellow light, Keith couldn't tear his eyes away from the beacons of Lotor's own. He didn't dare to move. He barely remembered to breathe.

"You are _exceptional,_ Keith Kogane." Lotor continued, apparently determined to this path. "I'd call you divine, but I feel as though that might be too much pressure on an expectation you feel like you don't live up to. But that doesn't change the fact that I fondly think of you as such." He smiled warmly. "When we first met, I knew immediately that you were a special individual. Not because you were a Paladin of Voltron, but who you were past all that." Lotor moved one hand to poke at his chest. "Who you were here," the same hand moved up to brush his bangs out of the way, his fingertip barely above Keith's temple. "And who you were here. It was obvious since the very beginning."

Keith listened to him talk patiently. The doubtful part of him was still present, nagging thoughts in his mind, but it was getting quieter with every little detail Lotor presented. Six simple words were easy to debunk and disbelieve. There was no way it could refute everything on Lotor's mind.

"Getting to know you hasn't shown me a single moment where I've been proven wrong," Lotor continued. "Whether it's your interest in Galran culture or your protective nature, you have always found ways to surpass my expectations in little ways. You aren't a perfect individual, but the truth is? 'Perfect' is a mere concept, an impossible goal. No one can truly achieve it." Lotor's eyes sparkled, his tone filled to the brim with admiration. "But the noblest of people try to improve themselves in small ways every day to come close enough to it. And it might not be too obvious in your eyes, but I can see some of your attempts. That much is obvious in the stories you told me in a time that feels like forever ago. How you tried to downplay your own role, yet described everyone else's in rapt detail."

God, that really did feel like forever ago. It was crazy to think about the fact that he really met Lotor like... over a month and a half ago. Maybe more, maybe less. It was hard to tell for sure. Time certainly was a blurry thing, huh?

"And not just your stories," he said. "The other day, Etmean journalists released your interviews to the planet's extranet. They didn't say anything about the Paladins actually going to the ball, but... I couldn't help but hope for it. I yearned to talk to you again, vhen'hala." One hand went back up to tenderly caress Keith's cheek. He couldn't help but indulge himself a little bit and lean slightly into the touch. "I must admit, I watched your interview more than once."

"Really?" Keith couldn't help but crack a teasing smile. "Wasn't that interview, like, three hours long?"

"Three and a half," Lotor corrected. "Mainly I listened to it more than I watched it. When I wanted to hear your voice again, I'd put it on and just... let it play." He chuckled and shrugged. "I missed talking to you. I know my methods of alleviating that might sound... strange, but it's the truth."

"It's not strange," Keith told him. "Not gonna lie, though- out of context, it'd probably seem kinda creepy. But I'll let it slide," he smiled up at Lotor. "Just 'cause it's you. Least you're open about it."

"That means more to me than I can possibly express in one conversation," Lotor said. "But I can point out one thing- I took the time to listen to the interviews each of your fellow Paladins had, too. They talked about each of their fellow teammates in high regard, but the stories about you were the ones that caught my attention. They noticed your potential as well, talking about your empathy and ferocity in battle. Especially in protecting those you care about."

Lotor continued after a brief moment's pause. "On Sylemma, I realized the extent of my admiration towards you," he stepped closer to Keith. "And I've been looking to properly express it to you since." He looked to Keith apologetically. "Forgive me if I'm too forward for your liking, or if I make you uncomfortable in any way, but... may I ask you a question?"

His heart beat rapidly in his chest, invisible hands desperately trying to claw its way out of him. The chill of Etmean evening was warded off by the warmth blooming in his skin. The close proximity certainly wasn't helping with that. Despite all of that though, he... didn't mind that Lotor was so close to him. At all. So he just leaned in ever so slightly and smiled jokingly, like they were sharing an inside joke. "Technically, you just did."

That got a chuckle out of the prince. "Fair point," he admitted. "You got me there, oh clever one." Lotor leaned in until their foreheads barely brushed together. "But I must continue on, for I must confess something to you." His voice was soft and private, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?" Without thinking of it, Keith's voice did the same. His heart felt ready to crawl into his throat, but... in a good way, somehow. He didn't mind the intimacy. At all. He tilted his head up, letting the tips of their noses graze. He raised a brow curiously. "And what would that be?"

"You know of ga wáran and what it means," he said. "But you must have noticed the new little name I've been addressing you as- vhen'hala." Keith nodded as much as he could manage without breaking the closeness building up between them. "Very well. But do you know what it actually means?"

Keith took a moment to think. Out of all the Galra words he's heard Lotor say, that name was one of the ones he hadn't translated yet. Sure, he could've looked it up, but he forgot about it whenever he'd actually had time to do so. So he had no idea and simply shook his head. "I remember you calling me hala, too. Is it pretty much the same thing?"

Lotor nodded. "Indeed," he added. "'Vhen' and 'hala' are separate terms of endearment, but putting them together gives them more weight. A stronger meaning. 'Vhen' means 'dearest', and 'hala' means 'darling'. So..." He chuckled with a hint of nervousness. "I just wanted you to be aware that I've been calling you 'dearest darling' all evening. Because I..." Lotor bit his bottom lip. "I feel as if you deserve it. I-I wanted to let you know that I... trust and admire you. More than most have ever wrought from me. When I thought I lost you..." 

Both hands caressed Keith's face as if he was holding the most precious thing in the universe. Stars scintillated in Lotor's shining evening sky eyes. The colony moon's light shone directly upon Lotor, giving him an electric blue halo. It made him look ethereal, and even more breathtaking than when they first met much like this. The words that tumbled out of the prince's smooth-looking lips only sealed the deal.

"...I was able to think of little else." Lotor told him. "Even if you do not feel the same, it must be known. Despite everything, I... I care for you, Keith Kogane. Deeply."

In that moment, Keith felt it.

A sudden stirring in his gut. A hypersensitive line finally snagging onto a target, the pressure of it vibrating white-hot in his chest. It was difficult to breathe with the ocean placed upon him. Yet... he didn't mind that in the slightest. He felt like he was floating rather than sinking. The line was pulling him up, a beacon of hope in the murky depths. It clung onto him and refused to let go.

Lotor was much of the same. He couldn't help but wonder if that was the celestial bond, or just... realization. Maybe both. The doubtful voice in the back of his head was long silenced by the onslaught of praise. He could see it as both if he truly wanted to. So he did.

Keith could also acknowledge that he felt the same way. He wouldn't have said it in such flowery prose, but... he would've found some way to express it with the same strength. At some other time.

Right now, his mind was drawing a complete blank on how to respond. Let alone retaliate all the affection shot his way. Honestly, his mind was still stuck in the processing phase. He just... couldn't believe what just happened. The fact that all of that really happened just... appalled him. Not that he was complaining about all of that, but the fact that it happened to him of all people threw him for a serious loop.

Before now, Keith thought that long sappy speeches were just for corny romance novels and movies. Something nice to idly think about once in a long while, but one you'd never really expect to get from anyone in your life. That kind of stuff was just fiction. Never to cross the threshold into reality, especially in his life.

Yet here the two of them were. With Keith trying his best not to gape like a dying fish, and Lotor looking like he wouldn't mind it a bit if that actually happened. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he could've sworn that they were slowly getting closer together.

"Lotor, I..." He tried to speak in his breathlessness, but the prince in question quickly shushed him. He could feel Lotor's puffs of breath upon his skin. They were definitely getting together, likely to close the gap between them pretty soon. Keith's hands went to Lotor's jaw, cupping it tenderly.

"Not now, vhen'hala," Lotor purred, his pupils fat in adoration. "Let us just... embrace the moment. Please."

Like the Andromeda and Milky Way galaxies, their pace was skin-tinglingly slow. The anticipation for the payoff only built up more and more in his mind. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like _years._ All other sensations faded out from his mind at the moment. Right now it was just the two of them in a big and lonely universe, armed only with the determination to make it a little less so.

His heart beat so loud and so quickly, he could have sworn Lotor could actually hear it. They were close, close, so tantalizingly _close_ that a single _inch_ would be all it--

"Excuse me, Black Paladin." Four words was all it took to shatter the mood they'd built in one fell swoop. He snapped back from the fanciful cloud he'd been whisked away on at the Empress' voice. The two quickly separated from each other awkwardly. From what he could see, Lotor was going through a rude awakening back into reality as well. As much as Keith wanted to go back to the wonderland they'd built up for the two of them, he knew he couldn't. At least, not right now.

So Keith braced himself mentally and turned to see Empress Dremor standing in the doorway. "Your Majesty," he said as graciously as he could spare, despite his nugget of frustration. "What do you need?"

"I beg your pardon," the Empress said, bowing her head down curtly. It gave him a brief but better view of the vertical jagged chunks of white crystals atop her head, reminiscent of the Balmera in more than one aspect. The two races shared a lot of features- Dremor in particular with the wider body shape and rocky-looking dark gray skin. She looked back up at the two with neutral white eyes. "Am I interrupting something between you and Lord Llwyn? My apologies if I am."

She didn't look apologetic in the slightest. But he decided not to comment on that.

Keith shook his head. "Not at all," he lied calmly, ignoring how her brow raised ever so slightly at that. "What do you need from me?"

Dremor strode over to him calmly as usual, showing in greater detail the little nicks along the visible skin. She walked as confidently as an Empress should, but there was... something else to it. Something less refined and more... militaristic. Like a hardened commander's march rather than a soft noble's carefree steps. Only when she was in front of him did she answer his question.

"I wish to test how competent you are in Etmean customs, Black Paladin," she said. "Nothing too difficult for someone like you." She extended her clawed hand towards him in a silent offer akin to Lotor's own. "All I ask for is your first dance of the night." She said it as if she was a bored teacher asking him to write what was on the board. Her voice was as stony and apathetic as her expression.

Forcing down his discontent at the offer, Keith did his best to smile warmly. "It would be my honor to dance with you, my lady." The words were hard to swallow, but somehow he managed to do so as genuinely as he could. He took a step towards her to notice that without the crystalline fragments atop her head, he would actually be taller than her by an inch. Huh.

"Very well," she hummed, putting her hand on the crook of his elbow. "Let us go, then." When she started to walk, he quickly followed to remain at her side.

All he could manage to do first was steal a glance back at a silently bewildered Lotor. It was quick, maybe five seconds at most. But he still managed to mouth one simple word- 'later'- and see Lotor nod quickly before turning his head back around.

Good. Now he could go back to the task at hand- somewhat impressing Empress Dremor before the negotiations- without worrying about abandoning Lotor in a whirlwind. They could continue where they left off soon. Maybe not as soon as either of them would certainly like, but soon enough to bear separation again.

So Keith turned his attention back to the Empress on his arm. He didn't know why, especially after how close he was to Lotor just a minute ago, but the contact made him feel... kinda uncomfortable. Not enough to act upon his rooting wish to get away from the situation, but enough to unsettle him. Get him prepared for anything to go wrong at any given moment.

Aside from Dremor's inspection of him that he decided not to openly acknowledge, Keith drew his attention to the main ballroom's structuring. Mainly to admire the beauty of it, but also for any tactical advantages he could find just in case. The ceiling was wide open and winding, a cross between a disconnected swirling staircase and an old cathedral. The thick-looking glass in the ceiling's panes shone with bare tints of other colors akin to oil or bubbles. The colony moon was barely in sight of it.

"A beauty, is it not?" Dremor inquired. Keith looked back to her. "That is the exact spot the moons hang in the moment of enlightenment. The time is creeping upon us." She stopped in the middle of the warmly-lit room, and he could see the other pairs staring at them. They were stock-still in their spots, almost waiting for their cue to begin. He got a peek at some of the team members. "Black Paladin," The Empress turned her head to face him, removing her hand from his side to curl into a fist. "You know of the Bond, do you not?" With that, she raised her arm in a flex-like position expectantly.

Keith made the same motion with the opposing arm. "I do indeed, Empress." Thankfully, that wasn't a bluff. They really had showed him the Bond. It was fairly simple, even for someone like him. He brushed his wrist against hers and raised a brow. "Shall you or I?"

She quirked up a brow, looking almost... mildly impressed. "I see no reason why you should not," she said, bowing her head cordially. "After all, you're an honored guest. So please, go on. We all await your cue."

A question immediately popped into his mind, but he decided not to ask it for the moment. Everyone was waiting on him, and there was no point in wasting their time. Plus, he had their attention. Such a question might need a bit more... privacy. So he decided to do as he was asked for the moment until everyone was preoccupied with dancing.

As Keith had learned to do, he started to move slowly. Making a point not to let their wrists stop touching for an instant. In turn, the Empress did the same in the opposite direction. As did the other pairs a few moments later. A strange light tune wafted through the ballroom. It didn't sound like anything on Earth, but still felt... right. Like it didn't need a comparison in its soft yet distinctly alien melody. It was perfect for their current movements.

For the first minute or so of gradually getting closer and closer together, Keith just let the atmosphere wash over him. As Suo had instructed him too many times to count, he just... didn't think about his dancing at all. Just let his feelings in the moment influence his body. In practice, he could never nail that down completely. He just... couldn't shut his thoughts down in a simple instant no matter how hard he tried to.

Right now, he didn't even try. He just did.

Right now, he was as light and carefree as the bristles of feathers in the gentle guiding wind. The music picked him up and twirled him about with no resistance from his worrisome mind. It was otherwise preoccupied with repeating Lotor's words gleefully. The pure joy propelled him to heights he'd never been able to reach before.

In a more critical mindset, he would have torn himself apart analyzing the utter insanity of his feelings towards this. He'd only known Lotor for a month or so. He should have been creeped out by some forms of the prince's little confession. How in the universe had he been able to fall down the rabbit hole he'd expertly skirted in the past? Why was he making it _so easy_ for Lotor to breach the walls he'd carefully built over so many years? He knew with absolute certainty that Lotor had been about to kiss him, and that Keith was more than happy to let him do so. _Why?_

Because Keith felt the same about him. If he hadn't, there was no way he would have been okay with any of that. He was making it easy for that very reason. Everything about the prince just... drew Keith to him, like a moth to a flame. The rabbit hole was a scary place to fall into, but it was _so worth it_ when you actually found someone to fall with. That was why he fell so easily.

Well, that and a more dismal fact at hand. Keith was the leader of the only rebellious force going up against a gigantic 10,000+ year old Empire. With all the dangers he and his friends faced nearly every day, there was always a chance that he wouldn't walk out of the next battle. He could easily die tomorrow or any of the countless tomorrows afterwards. Every bullet or blow landed upon them could very easily be the One. Every breath was more precious than gold. Even in peaceful times like this, safety wasn't completely guaranteed.

So why not let a few of his barriers down? Why not enjoy the days he had left? Why not just embrace what he had? Why not fall into something he never imagined he'd find for himself?

It wasn't love, not quite. But it was... _scarily_ close to it. At least, it'd be scary framed in a different mindset. In his current state of mind, though? It was... kinda nice. He found himself not minding it one bit. All he wanted to do was keep following the path he made stretched out before him and hope for the best.

For once in his life, he was genuinely hopeful for the future. No underlying cynicism or sense of critical realism attached.

"Well," Dremor interrupted his train of thought, as was apparently her custom. "You certainly seem to be enjoying yourself, Black Paladin." Her voice was different this time, quieter and almost... teasing? It was... _weird_ to hear something like that from someone so seemingly detached like her.

"I..." Keith started, caught a little off-guard by the fact that she was almost... smiling. "I am, Empress." He bowed his head down, then suddenly remembered his question. "If it's alright by you, may I ask you something? It's not personal or anything like that, I just find myself... curious about something small."

The humor immediately disappeared from her face, but he could see she was a little bit curious about it. She spent a moment or so to think it over as they slowly but surely moved closer together as the other pairs did. Finally, she relented. "Very well," she said, quirking up a thin brow. "What is it that you wish to ask me, Black Paladin?"

"I couldn't help but notice," he said, speaking a bit quieter. "But don't all of the rulers of Etme start off the dancing period together? So..." He trailed off.

Thankfully, Dremor understood. "Ah," she said flatly. "You wish to know why S'Asith isn't out here at the moment, correct?" She watched him intently and only continued once he confirmed with a quick nod. "It's quite simple, really- she's resting for a bit back in our rooms. A little before the dancing period, a dizzy spell took over. She has them occasionally, so it wasn't a cause of much worry." Both their arms moved up together, fingers branching out to intertwine. As was the next step of the dance as they got as close as they needed. "I still worry, but not about her. She's in the good hands of our top servicers."

"Excuse my curiosity, but..." He raised a brow in curiosity. "What are you worried about, your Majesty?"

Dremor paused her movements for a quick moment before remembering she was still supposed to be dancing. With clasped fingers, the pairs extended their connected arms as far as they could. She looked... despondent in her movements, her thoughts fluttering away to a far away place. He didn't dare to speak and interrupt that. All he did was keep the simple dance going and hope she responded.

He wasn't sure how much time had really passed, but it felt like hours before the Empress finally responded. She did so at a truly opportune time in the dance- right at the end, with her pressed against his front and her arms crossed to intertwine both pairs of hands in an embrace that quickly grew harsh with her strong grip. She shot him an icy look over her shoulder. "You would do well to keep to your own affairs, Black Paladin," she warned. "Curiosity can easily become a fatal flaw."

"I..." Keith quickly scrambled for a way to repair the deteriorating situation. "I didn't wish to... offend you, your Majesty," God, was it weird to try actually speaking like this. "I just wished to know if there was anything you needed assistance on."

She scoffed openly at that. "It takes much more than that to offend me, child." She told him. Her expression shifted to something almost... thoughtful. Considering of the offer given to her. "...But I will give you one bit of information. Something..." She actually hesitated. It was a subtle falter, but still something. "...Admittedly small, but rather important to me."

Keith was immediately attentive. "What would that be, Empress?"

Dremor let go of his hands to fully turn and face him. "I love S'Asith, more than anything else the entire Universe could offer," she glanced around quickly, then moved to his ear as the other pairs did the same for the dance. Her voice dropped to a rushed whisper. "...but we disagree on one particular subject often- which side to rally behind in this war your little coalition is brewing for the Galra Empire."

There was an edge to her voice. Keith suddenly felt a little uncomfortable having her so close to him. Many possible attacks would be easy to pull off in her current position. Especially if she was as experienced in some kind of strict militarism like he thought. Yet he remained still. "...I think I have an idea which side you're on."

"Hm," She hummed. "If you believe I support the Empire, I will say this- you are dearly mistaken. I am not a fool to refuse much-needed change, I am simply... cautious in who to accept that change from, is all. Any support from Etme shall not be given to any old legends reborn, for they might end up worse than those they replace."

Keith didn't respond, but he did file that bit of information away. Just in case. It was good to know where they stood.

She paused before continuing on. "Anyways, S'Asith is not a big supporter of war in general. She never had been," another slight pause. "...until a few weeks ago. I know not what has happened to her. She was the exact same person, until you brought up the war around her. She wishes things to stay the way they are, and was strangely vocal about it to me in particular." Her voice grew soft for a moment. "You may not believe it, but I had to convince her just to invite all of you to the ball instead of Empire diplomats."

Keith raised his brows in surprise. "...Really?"

"I know," she told him. "It is difficult to believe from her demeanor, but that was more for public image than anything else. In negotiations, she looks as though she will be a difficult one to convince... Which is peculiar for one as usually open-minded as her." An unwary pause. The dance was coming to an end, so she would have to wrap this up quickly if she didn't want to look suspicious. "It is like a darkness has settled over her, and I cannot help but feel as though something horrible shall happen tonight. So..."

She moved back from him, her expression impassive as usual. "Tread lightly, Black Paladin." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Keep that in mind during negotiations." With that, she left to find yet another partner for the next dance. The music wound down to an end, and Keith was left alone with a _lot_ to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the tease  
> i swear they're gonna dance (and maybe even kiss) in the next chapter   
> comments are always appreciated! I lov hearing from you guys!  
> come yell at me on tumblr: squishy--squish


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally dance together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it takes a lil bit to get there, but lotor and keith finally dance this chapter!   
> enjoy!

As he honestly kind of expected, Keith wasn't alone for very long. It took about 5 seconds for someone to stop his train of thought in its tracks.

"Pardon me," A familiar voice said. When he turned around, he saw why. "You're the Black Paladin, correct?" Acxa quirked up her brow, looking him up and down after he nodded quickly. Her expression didn't shift as her eyes met his. "My name is Acxa Von Llwyn. I am Prince Lotor's sister."

His brows raised in slight surprise. "Really?" He said. He probably should've seen that coming, considering how they came in together with the same last names, but to be honest? He was too busy recovering from the shock of seeing Lotor again to even consider it or the fact that he'd heard her voice before. Not just during that one call from Lotor, but he could've sworn he'd heard Acxa's voice before that. 

It was a fuzzy memory, but it was _there._ In the back of his mind, just barely out of his reach.

But that wasn't important right now. Keith had to keep his mind in the present. Stay aware, keep an eye out for anything suspicious after his little bit of advice from Dremor. So he quickly came back to look at Acxa. "I know your brother," he said. "He's quite..." How could he describe someone like the prince accurately without sounding suspicious? "...interesting. In a good way, of course."

That was... a little lacking, but good enough. Maybe Acxa would buy that.

She hummed neutrally. "That's... one way to put it, I suppose." She picked up a small yet elegant cup of light lilac liquid in the crook of her otherwise occupied arm. It was taken in her cup-less hand and moved over to him in silent offering. "Do you need a drink, Paladin Kogane? It only has a little bit of ethyl in it. Nothing serious enough to get you intoxicated, don't worry."

Keith raised a brow in slight suspicion. This sounded like a scenario out of some kind of anti-alcohol or drug infomercial that would occasionally play when he was a kid before and/or after his morning cartoons. A little part of him half-expected to hear some kind of crisp-voiced announcer to start talking overhead, warning any little children to not do what Keith was likely gonna do. He wasn't even of legal drinking age in the U.S yet.

But he wasn't in the U.S anymore. There was no legal drinking age in space. And even if there was, who the hell was gonna arrest him? The worst punishment he probably would've gotten was a stern look and a firm tirade from Shiro about how he should be more responsible for his own actions. Just like the one Iverson gave him a few days before Keith was finally expelled from the Garrison.

With that thought, Keith took the cup from Acxa's hand and took a big swig of the surprisingly-sweet substance. Mainly to wash down the instinctual bitter taste in his mouth at even thinking of Iverson. Or the Garrison in general, for the most part. The resulting warmth that rose in his skin helped soothe the ice-cold pain of bringing up Shiro, even in his own mind.

He looked over to Acxa, who gestured for him to follow with her head. If he remembered right, each dance had a few minutes of respite inbetween. Probably to get a different partner, but also to socialize in the crowd a little bit before continuing on with planetary tradition. So he probably had time to spare for whatever she wanted to show him.

At first, Keith was fine with following her lead. Not many people stayed in his way if they saw him first. Acxa had a bit more difficulty with the crowd, but she wasn't slowed down by them much. He usually wouldn't follow someone he barely knew, but he could make an exception for Lotor's sister.

Keith only started getting a bit more cautious when Acxa went into a side room filled only with a pristine deep purple winding staircase. It twisted and curled around the middle loosely to give those stepping up plenty of room. In the cramped space below it, he could see (and hear) two soft-spoken silhouettes close together. Hidden in the safe shroud of darkness. The princess (it was... strange thinking of her like that. She didn't seem to think of herself as such.) didn't pay them any mind. She just started up the steps hastily.

He hesitated for a moment. Crowds were exhausting, but they meant plenty of witnesses just in case. Following someone he barely knew to the edges of one? Pretty tolerable. Being alone with the same person in unfamiliar territory? A much different story.

Acxa seemed to sense his hesitance. Or maybe she'd just finally noticed that he wasn't following her up the steps. Either way, she stopped to look back at him with an impassive look and raised brow. "Please come along, Black Paladin," she said, barely a request. "I wish to ask you something... private." Her eyes dropped their intensity. "Something not for any other ears. It's... about Lotor."

Keith was still kind of unsure, but his curiosity overpowered his caution. He stepped up and followed along as she continued with satisfaction. His eyes remained on her, mainly to watch for any sudden movements. He didn't have a weapon of any kind on him- cause knives are apparently 'bad for diplomacy' or something, according to Allura- but he could improvise in the worst case scenario. Not to mention he still had his comm on him. Help was just a text away. It just didn't hurt to be prepared.

It took about a minute for them to reach their apparent destination- a small arched doorway with a little floating platform leading from the steps to it. Acxa walked toward it calmly and punched in some kind of code into a dark bubble-like console without even looking at it. Each of the door sections separated by folding into little triangles like pieces of paper, clearing the way into a tiny but well-lit room. Keith followed her into it, his guard obviously up.

But not up high enough. The very second the door closed, Acxa was upon him. She moved like a flash- one moment, she had her back turned to him with a cup in her hand. The next, both cups were stacked together on a nearby dresser and her forearm was pressed against his windpipe. It wasn't pressed hard enough to deprive him of air, but it was certainly notable that it wouldn't take much effort on her part to start strangling him. All the while, her expression was calm and cool as a blade.

Now, Keith wasn't helpless. He knew easy ways to get out of this scenario. But he was curious why the everlasting hell she'd go through all this trouble just to do this. So he waited it out. Waited for her to make the first move.

She quirked up a brow, her unimpression etched on every aspect of her face. "You know, as a Paladin of Voltron," she said softly. "I figured you'd put up a bigger effort to get out of this situation, Keith."

He mirrored her look. "Who's to say there was an effort at all? I know you're not even going to injure me."

"Oh?" She leaned closer, forearm pushing in for a quick breathless moment. "And why is that, Keith?"

"Simple," he said with a shrug. "At the most basic level- if you kill me, plenty will be able to identify you. You likely won't walk out alive, let alone free. But there's an easier answer." He smiled. "If you kill me, you're going to have to live with the consequences of murdering the one your brother calls 'vhen'hala'." He saw her brows raise ever so slightly at that. "So if you're a somewhat-decent person, I have nothing to fear."

For a few moments, Acxa didn't say a word. Simply just... stared at him. Analyzed him. Like he was a dissected frog for her to investigate or something. Her face remained cold and stony as usual.

Then it broke with a soft chuckle and a small smile. She moved off of him. "So clever," she said amusedly. "I can see now why he likes you so much."

He raised a brow in curiosity. "Is that it?" He couldn't help but ask. "Is that all you asked me to come up here for? To test me?"

Acxa leaned against the wall, only a few inches away from him. "Partly, yes," she admitted. "The way Lotor talks about you, you practically hang the stars above." Keith couldn't help but raise his brows in surprise at that. She shot him an amused look. "First of all, I wanted to see if you truly lived up to the hype." She didn't continue on from there.

"And?" Keith asked after a couple dragging moments of silence. "Have I?"

She merely hummed in response, her eyes scoping him up and down once again. "That's still up for debate," she told him. "But I have to admit, you're not doing a bad job so far. Which means I can continue on with the second part of the plan." She moved over to him.

Keith was a little wary at the proximity, but he allowed it for the moment. He was curious to see what the second part of all this was. "Which would be?"

"Like I have said," she started. "Lotor absolutely _adores_ you. I can tell without him saying a word- he gets this..." She gestured vaguely around her temples. "look in his eyes whenever you're so much as mentioned. Let alone when he's given the opportunity to talk about you openly." 

She was silent for a moment. Her eyes dropped their gaze to the fine carpeted floor. "...And from what I saw on the balcony, I can tell that you feel the same way about him." Her eyes flit up to him with curiosity and... something darker. Something he couldn't quite place, but he sure as hell didn't like it. "Unless I have read you wrong, Black Paladin." She quirked up a brow. "Do you feel the same way about him?"

Keith didn't deny it. He had a gut feeling she'd know it if he did. He licked his dry lips and swallowed around the lump growing in his throat. "Yeah," he said softly. "I do."

It was... strange, saying it out loud. Not that it wasn't true- it totally was- but actually confirming his feelings made them seem more real. Not just a cute little concept impossible to actually reach. A real, tangible thing that sunk its claws into his skin, twisted his stomach into knots, made his heart skip a beat, and probably shouldn't feel as good doing those things to him as they did. Knowing that didn't make it any less real, though.

And given Lotor's speech earlier, it wasn't much of a surprise that Lotor felt the same way about him. Acxa definitely didn't need to tell him, but having someone else cement that Lotor really felt that way about him was... comforting. Made it more real as well.

Acxa stayed silent for a few more moments before her lips quirked up slightly. "Good," she said. "That makes this a little bit easier." She moved off the wall and towards him. One hand reached into her suit, the other grabbed his collar and pulled him closer. Her eyes and voice were sharp and steady, each movement as sure of itself as the last. "Nothing personal, but I feel like this is part of my duty as a sister." She glanced down. "I tell this to every person who gets that close to Lotor in that kind of way." She looked back up at him. "No hard feelings."

Keith stayed calm and still, even when Acxa pulled out a knife out of her velvety suit and held the cool blade against his neck. Though he did slip his hand into the pocket with the comm at that particular turn of events. He wouldn't do anything with it yet, but it never hurt to be prepared for the worst.

"Now listen," she hissed. "For you'll only get this warning once- as you likely somewhat know by now, Lotor has been through _a lot_ early on in life. None of his scars are from petty squabbles. He doesn't entirely remember what happened to him, but his occasional relapses reveal horrors I have never known." She pressed the blade in a little further. Not enough to cut into his skin, but more than enough to be noticeable. "If you are trying to take advantage of him in any way, or his heart is simply your newest plaything, walk out of it _now._ Because if I find out, it doesn't matter who you are. You will pay for it dearly, and he will _not_ keep your secret." Her eyes were piercing as they stared into his. "For you cannot make fire feel afraid, Kogane."

He didn't say anything at first, mainly because he wanted to make sure she was done first. It kinda sounded like there was more to this little shovel talk than that. If he was doing this for someone showing interest in Shiro, he would certainly have more to say than that. 

Though what Acxa had already done... was pretty much what he'd do in that hypothetical scenario. He certainly cared about Shiro that much. So he couldn't really blame her for doing the same thing for her own brother. It was... kinda sweet, really.

Finally, he decided to get something going. "I understand," he said with a constrained nod. "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"

Acxa hesitated for a moment. It would be hard to detect for most, but he could clearly see her split second of surprise at his calm reaction. It barely slipped through the cracks of the mask she'd built, but it was enough. Those cracks were quickly filled in, but not fast enough for him not to know what he needed to.

"...Not yet," she admitted. "But I'm close to the end." The press of the blade loosened against his throat. "For those standards only apply if you intentionally hurt him. If you treat him with the love and respect he deserves, he will do so for you in kind. And in the latter scenario, you and I will get along..." She shot him an earnest smile and let go of him completely, tucking her knife back into her suit. _"...just fine."_

Keith had to quickly readjust as the door behind him opened up once more. Thankfully, he avoided falling on his ass like an idiot in the nick of time. Now he could only hope his efforts hadn't been too obvious.

Judging from the chuckle he heard from Acxa, though? That probably wasn't the case. She passed by him, cups in hand. She was already a couple steps on her way back down before he remembered something he wanted to say to her.

"Hey, Acxa?" Keith turned back to look at her.

She stopped for a moment on the steps to return his gaze. She raised a brow. "Yes, Black Paladin?" She asked. "What is it?"

His voice was soft in saying the two simple words. "Thank you."

That certainly threw her for a loop. It showed on her expression easily. "For what?" She asked. "Threatening you?"

Keith chuckled and shook his head. "Not exactly," he said with a smile. "I wanna thank you. For caring about him so much."

Her brows furrowed in deeper confusion at that. Then her look softened as she seemed to realize... something. He had no idea what. "You are a strange one," she could barely contain her smile. "You're perfect for my brother." With that, she turned back and continued on down the stairs. Only when he couldn't see her in the darkness for about a minute did he do the same.

As he traversed all the way back down, things were relatively silent. There was the soft muffled music from the ballroom, but that could be drowned out pretty easily. He appreciated this- a breath of fresh air before swimming back down into the murky depths with insurmountable pressure upon him. It was much needed, and he treasured it while he could.

Keith knew that he might be alone right now, but he knew that wouldn't last long at all. He fully expected someone to start talking to him the moment he went back into the ballroom. After all, he needed to dance and 'show his competence in Etmean traditions'. 

But he could easily appreciate the moments of silence in blaring times like this. It kept him going, despite the steady drain on his energy with every hour spent surrounded by people. When all this was over and done with, he had no doubt that he'd be out like a light at the first opportunity. But he could pull through and keep it together for moments like this.

As Keith predicted, someone was waiting for him and started talking to him the moment he stepped back into the ballroom. Not that he complained much about it when he realized just who it was.

"Keith," Lotor's smooth voice fit with the elegant lilting music much too well. He got off the wall he was leaning against to move to Keith's side with an amused sparkle in his eyes. "I can see you've officially met Acxa now." When Keith shot him a wondering look, he clarified. "I was looking for you. Ezor- my friend from Chameon- told me that she saw you and Acxa head up to one of the rooms. So I simply decided to wait until you two came down." Lotor gestured to the crowd. Keith found Acxa quickly- smiling quite fondly at the colorful woman. "That's Ezor, not the crude name she signed up as. She likes to meddle in.... certain personal affairs."

"I get that. The team's pretty much the same way." He raised a brow and asked a joke question, slipping a cautious hand on Lotor's waist. "Weren't you worried for me?"

Lotor didn't bristle away from the touch, so Keith decided to keep his hand in its current position. If anything, the touch seemed to make the prince... even _more_ at ease than he already was. He was awarded with a symphonic chuckle and a shoulder pressed against his own. "No," Lotor said bluntly. "If anything, I was afraid she'd scare you away from me. I know how... _intense_ she can get." 

Keith didn't flinch when Lotor rested his head upon his shoulder. He didn't even move at the touch. It was initially hesitant, but... really nice. Peaceful. "But I think it's fair to guess that she hasn't scared you away," two beautiful pools pointed up at him, one smushed a bit from the press of Lotor's cheek and Keith's shoulder. "Has she, ga wáran?"

It wasn't hard in the slightest to come up with an answer to that. With a sight before him like this- strands of Lotor's silken hair draped over his shoulder, night-sky sparkling eyes looking right at him, his cheek smushed ever so slightly from pressing on his shoulder- how in the wide universe could he reject the unspoken offer laid out before him? His heart ached at the prospect. The thought that a wonderful and heartfelt person such as the one in his focus was worried about rejection made his heart ache.

So Keith simply smiled, and answered the only way he could think how.

"I'm still here with you," he said softly, moving his hand on Lotor's waist in a little bit to get closer. "Shouldn't that answer enough, hala?"

He knew he'd given a good answer the moment he saw bright pink flush Lotor's skin for a quick moment. The prince opened his mouth a few times, prepared to retort with something, then quickly shut it each time. He quickly gave up on trying and instead grinned bashfully. He even tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

Yet the moment the music shifted, so did Lotor's expression and general demeanor. The bashfulness died the moment the soft and lilting music did the same. Instead, a smooth and almost sultry-sounding instrumental began to play throughout the ballroom. Lotor's mood did the same- half-lidded eyes, a quick bite of the lip, anything and everything that made excited goosebumps flutter up his skin.

"Good," Lotor said, moving off of him to instead grasp at Keith's hand and step forward. "For if my memory still serves me right in this young eve," he shot Keith a promising look over his shoulder. "I still owe you a dance. And I pay my dues no matter what, Paladin." When Lotor started 'pulling' him, Keith went rather easily once his legs actually remembered how to work.

The two quickly joined in the crowd of partners getting together for the next dance. He could have sworn he knew this set up for a particular dance that gave him hell, but for the life of him he couldn't remember which one it was. Mainly cause of the radiant distraction standing in front of him. Especially when said radiant distraction reached to caress his face gently.

"Lotor?" He barely breathed out the name as if that was the only way to confirm this dreamlike scene was even real at all. Then he moved on to the more important question- the one that actually required an answer. "Which dance is this?"

Lotor smiled at him with warmth and fondness. "A delightful one, so long as I am in your company, vhen."

Keith had to admit- that got to him. The light chill of the ballroom suddenly didn't bother him as much as it did a few seconds ago. A tingling shock drifted up his spine. It was nice- _very_ nice- to get such praise so easily... But it didn't answer his question. So he tried again.

"Thank you," he said with the most sincere smile he could manage in his rising panic. "That's really sweet, but-"

The sultry look vanished in an instant as anxiety built up in Keith's system higher and higher. Lotor's brows raised, his eyes softening with empathy. "You're distressed." Not a question. A stated fact. Like he had some kind of sense for Keith's emotions or something. But he wasn't wrong, and Keith wasn't really doing a stellar job at hiding it anyways. He thought little of it.

"Keith," the caring softness returned in Lotor's voice. "If this truly troubles you, say so. We don't have to dance. As I have said," his hand moved down to cup Keith's jaw. "Having your company is enough for me. More than enough, even."

"It's not that, I just-" He sighed in a bit of rising frustration. Did he mention why he was anxious about dancing with Lotor already? He could have sworn he did. But in case he actually hadn't yet... His brows creased in concern as he looked upon Lotor's face. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Lotor's expression softened with an easy smile. "You're adorable," he said. "And wonderfully noble. But trust me," he snuck in a quick wink. "I am far more resilient than you think, Paladin. You will not hurt me- this I guarantee." The music was starting up. They were going to have to start whatever dance this was soon. "Just trust yourself as much as I trust you, and everything will be fine." His brows raised earnestly. "Okay?"

The music was quickly building up. This was probably his last chance to back out of this dance. Part of him wanted desperately to take it, mainly to scurry away from the unintentional pressure placed on him. But he did want to dance with Lotor tonight, so why not here? Why not now? He trusted Lotor, and Lotor trusted him not to let him fall. Maybe he should take that advice and have a little more faith in himself.

Keith swallowed around the lump in his throat, pushing it down. He opted to ignore it completely. Even if it was only for a few moments, he knew that little bit would still add to his emotional exhaustion later. In the moments before the dance actually began, Keith steeled his nerves and said one last word- "Okay."

Almost immediately, the music shifted. Instruments that nearly sounded like violins played overhead in a way that filled the ballroom with a sensual atmosphere. Lotor stepped to the side, turning both of them in the process and raising the hand off Keith's face up with a contagious air of confidence. It didn't take Keith long to realize he actually knew this dance fairly well. He quickly grabbed Lotor's hand and kept his other on Lotor's waist.

He knew each movement, at least. He just couldn't get it right in practice. It was either awkwardly stiff in every movement, or he dropped his partner at some point or other. He quickly had to squash down more anxiety at those memories. _That was then,_ he had to remind himself. _This is now._ He wasn't going to let either of those things happen.

It started off fairly simple, so initial nervous stiffness could easily be forgiven. Especially when he had to move his hand clasped in Lotor's down his arm to his exposed back, trying not to linger on the sensation. Even if the prince's skin was flawed and clawed yet still somehow soft and wondrous. He started out making his initial mistake- over-focusing on not letting his dance partner fall. It was all his mind could think about leading up to the first dip of the dance. There were many. In a really short amount of time. He's not sure how he's going to survive this.

The two moved in sync with different attitudes- Lotor was carefree and sure of every movement he made, while Keith was careful and over-analyzed any movement he made in fear of messing it all up. They bent down with one knee nearly to the floor. Keith's heart rate seemed to increase with every moment closer they got to the one he was desperately dreading.

As soon as they stood, Lotor fluidly moved into Keith's awaiting arms and let both feet off the floor without reservation. Instead, he depended on Keith to keep him grounded... or to be more specific, to make sure he didn't crash into the ground unceremoniously. It'd put a hell of a damper on the mood the two of them seemed to have.

With one hand beneath Lotor's barely covered thigh and the other on the prince's back, Keith turned the two of them around and dipped Lotor's secure body down as he was supposed to. For the split seconds Lotor was down, Keith only focused on keeping him safe and secure in his arms.

Yet when Keith moved Lotor's body back up, leaving the two face to face for a quick moment, something... changed. The mood of the dance and Keith's outlook on doing it just... shifted in a quick instant.

All at really seeing Lotor's face for the first time since they'd started this.

Ever since they'd started, Keith was too caught up in millions upon millions of unimportant details and ways to go wrong to notice what was truly important. He was too blind to see the ways this was going right, and in an instant those blinders were ripped off and thrown out. He was thrown headfirst into an otherwise simple sight of color and light and beauty.

All it really was was just Lotor smiling, truly _enjoying_ every minute that passed by the two. But it might as well have been a masterpiece deserving of a museum hall, especially when he looked right in Keith's eyes. The glints of ecstasy in Lotor's eyes alone were fireworks popping in a night sky, scintillating stars, and everything as big blue and beautiful as Lotor's eyes were upon his own.

A wave of calm washed over him at the sight. A smile graced his own lips as he gently set the prince down on his feet for a quick moment. It seemed to affect Lotor as well. His smile dropped for a moment in surprise, his brows raising ever so slightly. His lips pursed open, and Keith was half tempted to forget the dance and just kiss him right then and there.

But he reluctantly didn't act on that impulse. At least for now. After the dance would be a much more optimal time for it.

When they continued the dance, Lotor's confident and carefree method bled over to Keith. Even though the next movement involved one of Lotor's legs draped over his shoulders and the rest of his body perched upon them for a quick moment, Keith couldn't find it in himself to be worried about his safety. He just bent down to give the prince easier access and more fluid movement getting up there.

With Lotor's other leg tucked under his other arm and Keith's grip on his waist, Lotor was free to carry on with the next part of the dance and bend backwards with a grin on his face. His enjoyment of the dance was what truly mattered to Keith the most, though Lotor's actual safety was a very close second to that. Keith did his own part and moved them both to the opposite side. Once he was done, he used one of his hands to move onto Lotor's stuck-out leg and push it down gently for him to stand back down on the floor. Lotor, of course, moved accordingly.

The rest of the dance was fairly simple. There were still plenty more to do, but nothing quite like the first two moves. Both Lotor and Keith would be able to stay on the ground for the rest of the dance. Though he knew there were a couple more dips, they were much safer. Like the rest of the dance, it was pretty much like a traditional Earthen tango. Still not totally up Keith's alley, but in the moments he moved, he knew he could handle it.

It wasn't really a feeling. Just an unfathomably strong pull to keep going, to loosen up and focus on the most important person in the room- the one in his arms. The one who went along with his movements in complete synchronization and faith. It would only take a single look at Lotor to realize he was doing the moves right. All the other pairings around them making the same movements could have confirmed that for him, but he didn't pay any of them a split second of attention. 

The rest of the universe bled away in a oil painting blur of light and color in his mind. In those moments, it was just him, Lotor, and the music fueling their movements. Everything in the universe could have shattered right then and there, and Keith wouldn't have minded. His final moments would be the best in history.

Neither of them spoke at all the entire time. At least, not verbally. Words couldn't begin to describe the gleeful haze in his head.

The way they spoke seemed to transcend mere language or sound. Every movement, every glance flicker down and mirthfully bitten lip, spoke volumes louder than words ever could. Time didn't slow for him like in most cheesy romance movie with a scene somewhat like this. It just... wasn't a concept. For what must've realistically been only a minute, those moments felt like the most blissful forever he could possibly imagine.

But, as with anything else good in the universe, it had to end.

The two of them stopped at the same time, their focus too wrapped up in each other to notice that everyone else around them was still dancing. The smiles on their faces dropped to make way for candid and soft surprise.

Keith did so mainly because of how ethereal Lotor looked. Moonlight overhead draped the prince in a heavenly light that seemed dead-set on stealing the breath out of Keith's lungs. His bun was messy and mostly undone from all the sudden movements they'd had to do, but that didn't detract from his drop-dead gorgeousness in Keith's eyes. If anything, it made him all the more so from how endearing it made the prince look. All his flaws only made him more beautiful. It reminded him of something important to remember.

Lotor might look divine, but he wasn't. The scars littering his skin (including the long vertical one on his upper lip that Keith couldn't tear his eyes away from) only testified to that fact. Lotor was a mortal being, just as Keith was. They were equal in the cold and uncaring eyes of the universe.

"Keith." Lotor finally broke the silence between them. His voice was barely a breath- a near-silent whisper.

Keith's voice was much of the same. Mainly because his breath seemed to catch in his throat. He wondered briefly if that was the same for Lotor right now. "Yeah?" In that moment, he finally realized they were the only still bodies in the ballroom. "We've, uh..." He tried. "We've stopped dancing."

"Hm," Lotor hummed and glanced down for a quick instant. His brows raised in mild surprise, like this was his first time noticing this too. "It appears that we have."

"Do you think that we should..." Keith really had no idea what to say. "Continue? Or maybe just...?" He let his words trail off into soft obscurity when he saw Lotor leaning closer to him. The familiar lull was easy to fall back into as he did the same. The two went a bit faster than before, in the fear of getting interrupted by something or someone agai--

The music screeched to a halt as a horrified scream reverberated through the ballroom. Lotor stood at sudden concerned attention as others in the crowd did the same, eyes searching for the source. Keith did the same without much initial success.

While he immediately felt awful about it, Keith had to confess the first thought that came into his mind after the mood was shattered again was- _Goddammit, what is it now?_ Guess that was his job to find out.

Though it wasn't completely ruined. Lotor's hand suddenly- almost instinctively- went for his and intertwined their fingers tightly. He looked to the prince and shared a glance with him. It spoke exactly what it needed to say.

_Later. Right now, we need to deal with this._

_I'm not disappearing on you again._

_Come with me. We'll figure whatever it is out together._

The two nodded with a mutual smile and Keith started toward the source of the scream, Lotor at his heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to know what the keitor dance is, it's from this (3 minutes onward or so till the kiss) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3rRnGsvVMg   
> comments are always appreciated! I love getting feedback!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things ramp up at the Etmean Ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys are gonna both love and hate me for this chapter   
> guess I'll just have to see  
> Enjoy!

The crowd was quickly thrown into chaos. Thankfully not the 'running around screaming' kind of chaos, but the 'confused cluster' kind of chaos. People gravitated towards each other in a quiet and paranoid fear. He could understand the logic. Maybe whatever caused that scream would have a harder time getting them in a group than individual and far separated strands. Minimize any potential losses a little bit.

As an abstract concept, Keith could admire the logic behind it. 

However, as someone swept into the middle of that crowd, he couldn't help but be a little irritated. People delayed getting out of his way blearily, taking a few seconds to actually notice who he was. They'd bow their heads and move out of the way as soon as they could, but it still wasted potentially valuable time.

Not to mention they didn't allow Lotor the same luxury. The prince was nearly swept up in the crowd so many times Keith decided enough was enough and stopped in the middle, pulling Lotor towards him so they could hear each other in the dull roar of questioning voices. He pushed past a couple people on the way, but Keith couldn't find it in himself to care. As soon as Lotor embraced him, arms clutching at his forearms for support, he was solely what truly mattered. If only for a few moments.

"Hey," Keith said. "You sure you don't wanna stay here?" He raised a brow and slid his arms away from Lotor's grip. Mainly to clasp both their hands together earnestly. "I know you probably wanna stay with me, but I..." He let out a sigh. "I want you to be safe, okay?"

Lotor gave him a reassuring smile. "I understand your concerns, Keith." He told him gently. "Really, I do. But to be brutally honest?" He quirked up a brow. "There's no way in the Great Shores of the Beyond you could convince me to stay here and let you slip away into danger without me." He squeezed Keith's hands. "I refuse to let you get hurt again, no matter how noble the cause, while I can do something about it." He looked Keith dead-on with a steely determination. "I am _not_ letting Sylemma happen again. That's my final say on the matter, vhen'hala. Let us--"

Another ear-splitting scream reverberated through the ballroom. Much louder, and much closer than the one before. It barely sounded natural, and reminded him of the screeching of nails dragging on a chalkboard or a car's finish. Instinctually, Keith winced and covered his ears to block out the sound. He saw almost everyone do the same, gravitating away from where Lotor and Keith stood below the clear dome quite quickly. At first he wondered why.

But then he saw it- an almost indistinguishable black blur speeding around them. Blocking them off from everyone else and screeching horrendously all the while. Separating the two of them for whatever reason. As soon as he realized this, he moved his body by Lotor's protectively. Just waiting for some eventual fight. If his ears weren't fooling him, the other Paladins would be coming to help him soon.

The fight never came. No shots were fired. The black blur stopped, instead flattening to the floor and darting to the nearest wall. His eyes followed the blob slithering up the wall like an oily gravity-defying snake up to the source. The source apparently being a mainly void black thin figure perched on the wall like some kind of Spider-man wannabe.

The vaguely humanoid figure was sleek and lithe, and unnaturally so. Bones jutted out at every angle, barely held below the skin and shaped into jagged crystals at every opportunity. It's claws were long and thin for both its hands and feet. Almost the entire thing was black with a subtle oily sheen on its skin, save for two small lighter grey spots. He watched the blob fill up one spot, but he didn't have time to ponder where the other one could possibly be.

Before Keith could move, the figure let out a screech twice as bad and all-enveloping as the others. It was all he could hear. Not even the glass dome shattering to jagged fragments above them could interrupt its sound. The topping slab of metal was surely headed to crush them, and he barely had time to react to it in his temporary haze.

Luckily (and unluckily) for him, someone else managed to.

As he was recovering from the pitchy white noise buzzing in his head as quickly as possible, someone or something suddenly tackled him to the ground. He landed flat on his back- knocking the air out of his lungs temporarily- and skidded across the floor a little bit. A warm weight pressed upon his wrists like hands clenched tightly around them. He heard the thunderous sound of the slab's slam into the ballroom's tile and felt the tip of a crack that resulted form under his feet. It almost distracted him from a far more distressing sound that occurred even closer than that.

Almost.

It was dull and subtle, barely noticeable in the noisy chaos of shattered glass landing on tile all around them. But he definitely heard it. Even if he hadn't, the sudden dampness pooling on his abdomen wouldn't painted the grisly picture for him. He didn't realize he'd shut his eyes, but he had. And he knew exactly what he'd see if he opened them once more.

Yet Keith still cracked his eyes open. If not for the nugget of morbid curiosity gnawing at him, then to hopefully confirm his likely incorrect hopes or his instinctually pessimistic fears. Of course, his instincts and pessimism won out in this particular round.

All air left his lungs yet again at the sight right above him. He still tried to speak, in some vain and childlike hope that this was all some horrible nightmare.

 _"Lotor?"_ His voice was soft and raspy in pure and utter disbelief. Time seemed to stop around him as the messy-looking prince in question looked down at his own abdomen to find the very tip of a glass shard poking out. Bright, almost neon pink blood stained it liberally along with the front of Keith's outfit. A drop fell down from it slowly as if a drip from an almost-off shower nozzle.

Lotor almost immediately convulsed into a fit of heaving coughs, moving stiffly from the bit of glass as big as his head protruding from his back. He took one hand off Keith's wrist to cover his mouth as the coughing seemed to bear macabre fruit. His body shook and shuddered like a leaf in the wind.

Keith just... watched it all with wide eyes. It felt like he couldn't move, even if he wanted to. It felt like the current events ran faster than his mind could actually process, and it was trying so desperately hard to catch up. He wanted to scream, move, cry for help (or just plain cry)- _anything_ to react to the shitshow that transpired in front of him. But he didn't do any of that.

He just... watched Lotor finally stop. He watched the wonderful prince crack his eyes open and open his clenched hand to assess the obvious damage. Keith didn't have to actually see it to know how bad it was. He could tell from the blood trailing down from the corner of Lotor's bottom lip and how his expression paled. His eyes widened, his brows raised then furrowed, and his lips pursed open in sudden shock.

Lotor's gaze shifted over to meet Keith's, fearful and shimmering. Only two weak words left his lips before Keith's mind hightailed it back into gear.

"Oh dear."

Lotor's arm still holding onto Keith started to tremble. It wouldn't be long before it gave out, judging from the prince's current condition. The fact that he'd been able to stay up for so long was... pretty surprising, to be completely honest. Keith could properly admire it later. Right now, his instincts took the helm.

Keith sat up, leaving Lotor to naturally collapse in his arms. His head rested against Keith's chest as Keith cradled him cautiously and looked to the crowd. He couldn't see any of the other Castle residents, but every noble's eyes were fixated on the horrific scene in front of them.

"Guys!" he called. "Someone, please!" His eyes roamed the crowd desperately. "Get another Paladin of Voltron immediately!" One hand roamed down to the crook of Lotor's limp legs, fully prepared to lift him up as soon as possible. Ugly, wild anger flared up at seeing how the nobles ambled about nervously. None of them moved except to talk hushedly about. "Don't just _stand there!_ This man needs medical attention!" 

When the reaction didn't change much other than wider-eyed fear at his little outburst, Keith huffed out a frustrated sigh. If you wanted something done in a shitty situation, apparently you couldn't turn to this lot to help you out with it. Guess he had to do this all by himself while that... _thing_ was still on the loose. It was gone from the ballroom for now, but he seriously doubted that this would be the end of it. 

But making sure Lotor was safe took priority for the moment. He had to focus on it first. He stood up as gently as he possibly could, eyes focused on Lotor's face for any indication of pain.

Every slight wince of pain in Lotor's expression momentarily paused Keith's movement and sent a stinging pain ring in his heart. _This shouldn't have happened,_ his sadistic mind couldn't help but think. _It wasn't supposed to go down like this._ Bitter tears stung his eyes and clouded his vision.

He couldn't help but feel like a child, thinking those kinds of thoughts. Like he was a bratty kid throwing a mental temper tantrum because things didn't go the way he wanted them to. Part of him should've expected this. Expected things to suddenly plummet to horrific depths as they usually did. His mind was usually good at expecting the worst, even in the best situations.

But it... didn't. _He_ didn't. His mind was so easily swept up in the whirlwind of fairytale-esque wonder and blind happiness that he didn't dare to stop and remember that whirlwinds and blindness never entailed to good things in the long run. They always take you by complete surprise and leave you and anything you love barren and broken. He only remembered that fact, too little too late, looking down upon Lotor's face. And he realized something.

He loved Lotor. He truly did.

Not full, blown-out love, oh no. But love came in many forms. All of them were almost always sugarcoated in most forms of media. They advertised love as only a many splendored thing, the goal that every person should always strive for. Love was usually only a label for romance, shoehorned in at nearly every storyline of anything ever. As a very young child, he saw love as light, soft touches and words. Fond looks at the object of your affection while they weren't looking. Exactly what he'd experienced with the prince so far.

But that could apply to every relationship of his, romantic or not. He loved Pidge as a little sibling, to occasionally tease but overall protect at any opportunity. He loved Hunk, Allura, and Lance as equals and friends in every sense of the word. Each of them were a point of stability and a breath of fresh air for him. He loved Coran as the wacky uncle he was, but Keith trusted him as the only true adult figure on the Castle now. He loved Suo... it was weird to admit, but he loved them like a student. He really felt like he was making an impact on their life- a prospect that both excited and terrified him to no end.

Point was- Keith loved them all in ways that felt similarly to how loving Lotor felt. So at first, he didn't notice how it was different. Even during the dance- he felt a love-like affection towards Lotor, but didn't realize the extent of his feelings until that very moment. Walking towards the crowd while the object of his affections bled in his wavering arms and trying monumentally hard not to break down and burst into tears at the hurricane of emotion tearing through him.

He realized his true feelings as he recognized the truth about romantic love- it wasn't always a kind matriarch, all soft clouds and fingers grazing barely against the skin. Love was sometimes a truly harsh mistress, with jagged claws that ripped and tore at his hollow chest viscerally. It tore your heart straight out and left it out to dry hanging by numbing pins and needles. It filled you up so strongly you felt sick with worry. It made your head spin until you suffered from the most debilitating vertigo.

Keith knew this, for he felt all of it much too quickly to be healthy. As he looked upon Lotor. As he struggled and ultimately failed his goal in trying not to cry. As he barely noticed the doubly-bright moonlight shining upon the two of them or the surprised murmuring of the Etmean crowd. As his mind raced to find every clue he could've picked up on, every single way he could've seen something would go wrong and _prevent it just stop it all from happening why didn't he--_

"Hey," a single soft croak stopped his train of thought in its tracks. A shaky, bloodstained hand moved to caress his cheek as gently as it could mention. "My darling Paladin, please look at me." His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was all Keith could hear at the moment. "Truly look at me. I know you are lost in the realm of thought, but please."

Lotor smiled weakly when Keith did as he was told immediately. The thumb of his caressing hand wiped the tears streaking down Keith's cheeks. His eyes were half-lidded and dark, barely conscious, but still sparkling dimly with admiration. He chuckled. It wasn't audible at all, but Keith still knew it was done.

"Do not cry for me," Lotor continued gently. "For if I die here, I die in an angel's arms. Knowing my kadan-hassarah is the noblest and most beautiful soul I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. That's as much as I can ask for, at the end of the day."

"Don't talk like that," Keith said, his voice trying hard not to break completely. "You're gonna be okay, I promise." His eyes darted up momentarily to see Hunk and Lance darting through the crowd to get to them. Not to mention the momentary flashes he got of the others a little further behind. "Help's coming. They're gonna get you to a healing pod, I'll be able to sort this out, and everything will be... _fine."_ His voice finally broke. Those assurances were more for himself than Lotor. He wanted so desperately to believe they were true.

"Keith," Lotor spoke, his hand dropping to Keith's neck. "Vhen'hala. Ma Kadan, such assurances are unnecessary. Karliah messeren-ma Sihanye, ma wáran ga." Lance ran over with an overcast expression as the prince continued to speak. Even when Keith passed Lotor's body into the other Paladin's arms, not a word left the Red Paladin's lips. He didn't dare interrupt the moment. Keith appreciated that more than words could possibly express. 

Even when he had to leave Keith's arms, Lotor still continued on like it was the last time he would be able to. Even with a paled expression and sweat-slicked skin, he kept his hand securely on Keith's neck at the pulse point and smiled as if he reveled in the fact that Keith was still alive because of him. "The Creator of Oceans and Mistress of the Afterlife beckons me to the Surface, my honored one. I must heed it. My debt to you is repaid in full- a life for a life." 

Keith stepped closer, determined to stop this. Stop Lotor's heartfelt monologuing before he bled out. It was sweet, but he wasn't in the mood to hear any of it.

"I mourn only that I didn't have enough time to know you," Lotor continued, oblivious to Keith's advances even when the Paladin leant down closer to his face. His eyes were glassy and out of focus. "If you find Acxa, tell her-" Only one thing cut Lotor's little speech short and kept his bloodstained running lips still.

Or rather two things, if you counted Keith's lips upon his as two separate entities. This was it- Keith's first kiss, and... nothing. No fireworks crackling and popping with energy in his nerves, no angelic choirs singing overhead, just two people connected at one point with two moons as their spotlights. It didn't feel special, but it just felt... right. It was nothing extraordinary, but it didn't need to be right now. He planned on getting a healthy amount of practice with it once Lotor survived this. But if he was going to survive this, he needed to go very soon.

Keith was the one to break the kiss. He looked fondly at the unabashed surprise on Lotor's face. He took that silence as an opportunity. "Lotor, I love you," he said, cradling Lotor's face gingerly in his hands. He was too caught up in the moment to truly realize what he just said. "But shut the fuck up."

Lotor chuckled weakly, hiding his surprise. "Charming," he said fondly. "As usual, Paladin."

"I know," Keith told him seriously. Even though he knew it was a joking remark. "Ignore the call for just a little bit longer, and stay alive for me, Prince."

"I..." Lotor struggled to speak for a few moments, then let out a relenting sigh. "Very well," his hand dropped from Keith's neck. He tried his best at a teasing grin that didn't look as weak as he was right now. "You make a very convincing argument, my dear. For you, I will defy the Creators above." 

He gave Lotor a warm smile. "Thank you," he gave a chaste but soft peck to Lotor's sweat-sheening forehead, ignoring the urge to gag at the combined tangs of salt and copper from traces of the prince's blood. "I will see you as soon as I possibly can."

He moved away and stood up fully once more, looking to Lance with a mutual grim understanding. "You know what to do. Take him to the Castle quickly." Lance nodded once and turned around to hurry on his way out of the Etmean Castle. The Castle of Lions was about five minutes away from there. Lotor just had to hold on for that long. The thought didn't do much to assure him of anything.

His eyes landed on the rest of the group who gathered quietly around them, mostly with still surprised expressions. He quickly picked three more candidates. "Coran, Suo- go with Lance in case anything goes wrong. Pidge," he looked to them. "Go with them, do anything you have to and make any modifications to the pods you have to. Keep him alive." He allowed his aloof mask to crack a little. "...Please."

Keith thankfully didn't have to stress how important this was to him. He knew what they all saw. Even if he wasn't focused on them at the time, he could see it by the varying looks in their eyes.

The three of them nodded with varying firmness and followed at Lance's heels quickly. Which just left Allura, Hunk, Keith, and Empress Dremor- who stared at him with an unreadable expression- to deal with... whatever the hell this was. He decided to look to the Empress first and ask the most obvious question that everyone else was likely too afraid to ask- "Your Majesty, where's Empress S'Asith?"

"Gone," she said calmly, and he almost believed she really felt that calm about it. Almost. "The first scream was hers, this I know. I had guards check our quarters, but the bed was... completely empty. The entire room was. Neither of the guards posted at the door were there, and they haven't been found yet. We must assume the worst."

"No we don't," Hunk piped up. "The scream's concerning, of course, but nothing in the room showed that anyone died in there. Maybe whatever that thing was spooked S'Asith into running away and the guards went with her?" He lost confidence in his theory when Dremor turned her piercing attention over to him. "I... could always be wrong, Empress, but-"

"Do not fear, Yellow Paladin," she quickly cut him off calmly. "I am not judging your little theory at all. As a matter of fact," she confessed. "It's very plausible, actually. But it doesn't truly matter at the moment." She looked to the rest of them. "We must act fast. I saw the monster jump down into the Labyrinth of Posthumous Memory after shattering the dome, and in a sacred place such as that," her hand clenched around her necklace. She continued in a much quieter voice. "I fear for what it may do next in either case. But no matter what actually happened, one thing is abundantly clear- I must shut the Ball down early. Until that thing is taken care of, the Castle grounds are not safe."

"Not that I don't believe that's the wisest decision in this scenario, Your Highness," Allura spoke up with the same low volume. "I absolutely do. But not all of your subjects are going to see it that way. I imagine it's going to difficult to keep them out if they truly want in."

"I know, Blue Paladin," Dremor said grimly, but with an underlying tone of strong determination. She was going to walk this path, no matter what the public thought or tried. "I know."

"You're going to need backup in that case," Keith whispered, his mind quickly working to pick the most suitable candidate. "Just in case the worst comes to pass." He quickly settled on the best choice. "Allura, you're the best diplomat out of all of us. You have the best chance at keeping the crowd calm, and if worst comes to worst? I know you can protect the Empress without unnecessary casualties. We'll go as fast as we possibly can, so just hold out until we come back." She nodded in agreement, her crystal eyes certain and steely. He raised a brow at Dremor. "Are you okay with that plan, your Highness?"

"Yes," She nodded graciously. "Thank you, Black Paladin." She didn't speak again until Keith was turning to leave to the balcony with Hunk. "Wait. Just two more things before you go, Paladin."

He stopped and turned back to look directly at her. Hunk did pretty much the same thing, though a bit more anxiously. It was hard to truly notice though. "Yes?" He asked. "What is it, Empress?"

Dremor strode up to him calmly and placed a hand on his shoulder. "If the name is not obvious enough," she started. "The Labyrinth of Posthumous Memory is where we keep the memory stones," she gestured to her necklace. "And thus the experiences of every Etmean that was able to be recovered. It is sacred ground, so please. Be careful of what you do if you battle the creature in there." She took her necklace off and placed the stone squarely in his hand. "You will need this to get in. Guard it like your kadan-hassarah did for you."

Keith swallowed around a growing lump in his throat, but nodded all the same and kept his grip on the Empress' memory stone tight and secure. "And... what was the other thing?" He hesitated slightly at how her expression shifted.

Her gaze dropped. "I know not what has become of S'Asith," she said with a new degree of softness that had not shown itself in her voice before now. "I fear the worst for my wife, and I don't want you to risk yourselves needlessly, but..." Her gaze went back up to both of the Paladins before her. "If you happen to find her... any part of her you are able to find out there... bring it to me. Bring her to me so my worries can be assuaged in some form or another." She hesitated for a moment. "Please. You may be her only hope."

"I..." Keith hesitated in his own response. Part of him analyzed her for any indication that she was lying or acting somehow, but he quickly moved away from that cynical mindset. She was deathly serious and truthful about where her concerns lay- he could see it in her eyes. He nodded respectively. "I can't guarantee anything else but our effort, but Hunk and I will certainly try to be as respectful as we can."

"That's all I can ask, Paladins." Dremor stepped back from them, slipping back into her impassive persona. Her gaze flickered for a moment to glance at Allura stepping to her side. "The balcony eventually winds down to the gardens. Simply stay on the ensuing path and it'll lead you to the Labyrinth's entrance. My memory stone," she gestured to her necklace. "Shall open any obstacle in your way up and lead your way to wherever you wish to go in the maze. She put her hand down. "Best of luck to you both, and may the night winds aid your steps."

He didn't respond, just turned around with a courteous nod and walked out to the nearest balcony door. Hunk followed just a little bit behind him, especially when they actually went through the door. Keith shuddered as the night air hit him full force. It hadn't been too long since he was out last. Why did it suddenly feel so much colder than bef-

His eyes landed directly on the answer to his question. Lotor's blood was still wet on his abdomen, sticky and starting to stagnantly stink. His heart sunk at the rather gory reminder of what happened a few minutes ago.

He should've seen it coming. He really should have. Everything had been going so well this evening- too well, one would likely say. The universe inevitably had to balance things out for him, or he might delude himself into thinking that things would stay that happy forever. It was a particular pessimistic logic his mind liked to use as a justification for anything bad in his life.

Without good, there was nothing to compare bad to. It had to be peppered in there just so he'd know what he was missing. Then again, that thought could be reversed. Without bad, there was no true good. Just... an eternity of nothingness and neutrality in everything you did.

Though, Keith couldn't help but think bitterly as he passed the very spot where he had almost kissed Lotor, sometimes that didn't sound like such a bad thing. Caring about something made it easier to get hurt somehow. Whether by betrayal or death or whatever else. He knew it was just his mind sinking its spindly claws into himself. but he momentarily considered the fact that... life would be a lot easier for him if he didn't actually care.

It would be a hell of a lot more boring, but it'd certainly be easier than the storm screaming inside him. Popping in his nerves with anxious energy, chastising every slight movement he made as he strode down the smooth sloping balcony. The whole shebang of shittiness. It only got worse whenever Lotor wandered his way into Keith's thoughts, as he did much too often. It was another session of a mental game he loathed more than anything- _What Did I Do Wrong?_

His over analyst of a mind was in the middle of the lead up into their supposed kiss on the balcony when it was interrupted by a much welcomed voice- namely Hunk's.

"Hey, Keith?" He said softly. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" He paused. "It's not about Lotor or anything... Unless you want to talk about him. It's totally fine with me if you're not comfortable with it right now, but I just want you to remember we've got your back. ...Do you want to talk about him? About what happened in there?"

Keith raised a brow. "Were those the questions you wanted to ask?"

He didn't mean for his own question to come out dryer than the Grand Canyon, and he felt a little bad about it, but it was what it was. He wasn't really in the mood for talking. His body was taut with anxious energy at the idea of putting down the thing that nearly killed Lotor. It was the only thing that distracted him from the shocked silence on Lotor's expression, frozen forever in his cruel memory.

But none of that was Hunk's fault. He knew it wasn't fair to take it out on the guy. He didn't deserve any of Keith's bullshit.

So Keith took a breath of the fresh evening air and decided to be a bigger person. He looked over to Hunk with a strained apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, man," he said. "It's just..." He trailed off, reached for the right words to express the mess that piled up in his mind.

"It's hard to express," Hunk picked up on his disappearing trail. "Don't sweat it. I totally get it." He looked to Keith knowingly. "I felt the same way when we had to leave Shay behind after she was captured." He moved his gaze up to the sky, where the moons still shone on Keith. "I didn't have to see anything like... _that_ happen to her, but it was all I could think about for _hours._ Mainly about how I could have done _more_ to help her. How maybe if I was stronger, or faster, I could've stopped the whole thing from happening." He looked over to Keith solemnly. "Hit pretty close to home there?"

Keith didn't bother saying it. He could see in Hunk's eyes that he already knew the answer. So he just bit his lip and nodded quickly. For clarity's sake.

"I know it's not a perfect example," he said. "Shay's just a great friend to me, but Lotor to you?" His expression softened. "I can't _imagine_ what you're going through right now. But you need to know two things- one, that shit's not healthy at all. I know you can't help it, but it's in the past. Nothing can change what happened now. I know it's hard, but staying stuck in the past isn't going to make it any easier to deal with." He put an arm around Keith's shoulders, pulling him closer. "There are a million ways any of us should have probably died before today, and millions of ways any of us could die beyond today. All any of us can really do about it is just... keep on going. You just gotta... focus on the little good details that happened in big bad events."

Keith was on board with that advice up till the last sentence. He raised a brow skeptically. "Like what?"

Hunk met his gaze. "Lotor's still alive, isn't he?"

He shrugged. "That's the thing," he said. "I don't know. I haven't gotten anything from anyone back at the Castle yet. He could've bled out once he left the ballroom for all I fuckin' know."

"Trust me," Hunk said. "One of them definitely would've let you know immediately if that was the case, so I really doubt it. The silence isn't much of a consolation, but do you know what it is?"

"What?"

He smiled. "Hope." They were reaching the end of the balcony now. From the looks of it, they'd be at the Labyrinth soon. "Hope that he'll make it. Hope that neither of you will have to sacrifice your own well beings to save the other." Hunk raised his brows in slight surprise. "Which kinda leads into my second thing, actually."

Keith shot him a neutral look, though he had to admit he was more than a little bit curious about what this supposed second thing was. "Yeah?" He asked. "And what would that be?"

"I know we tease you about it a little bit," he said with a sigh. "But I could tell you cared about Lotor more than you let on to the rest of us. I was just waiting to actually meet the guy to see if he felt the same way about you." He shot Keith a soft knowing look, one that told him the answer to the next question on his mind without even asking it first.

But he still thought of another question to ask. "So now that you know..." Keith gave him a curious look. "Now what? Why'd you wanna make sure?"

"I wanted to tell him something," Hunk told him as they traversed past the strange flora of the Etmean royal gardens. "But with his current state, I think I'll just tell it to you instead."

Keith didn't say anything when Hunk glanced at him. Just gestured at him to continue with what he wanted to say.

He thankfully knew what the cue meant. "I wanted to tell him," he continued. "If he really wanted to... y'know, get with you," Keith chuckled at the awkward phrasing. "That if he wasn't serious about it, or just trying to play you like some kind of high-powered puppet, he was going to have _hell to pay."_ Hunk's expression hardened at the last part.

Keith was shocked into silence at the sudden turn. Said shock only increased tenfold when Hunk continued on.

"I was talking about it to the rest of the team," Hunk's voice softened slightly. "And they felt the same way about it. Mainly 'cause... we don't know a whole lot about what you've been through," their eyes met and stayed pointed at each other. "But from what Shiro was comfortable with telling us, it wasn't good. And I wanted to let you know that because..." His embrace tightened, drawing Keith willingly into a side-hug. "We love you, man. We care about you. We don't want you to feel- no pun intended- _alienated_ from us and leave the team for the Blade of Marmora or something like that."

Keith's vision blurred with oncoming tears, but he smiled anyways at the ridiculous prospect. "I'd never do that," he said quietly, wiping his tears away. "Even if Shiro came back and Black chose him again. Even if Red didn't want me back afterwards." He slung his own arm around Hunk's shoulder to the best of his ability, given their heights. "I... I love you guys too. Too much to leave you behind."

Hunk glanced momentarily in front of them and quickly met Keith's gaze again with a teasing grin. "You know," he said. "I hope you keep that in mind, cause..." They stopped as an imposing shadow blanketed them. Hunk gestured to the closed off crystalline entrance to the Labyrinth. "We're here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry tbh  
> comments are always appreciated! even if they're just yelling at me for doing this   
> come yell at me on tumblr: squishy--squish


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight the creature in the Labyrinth.
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains mild body horror. It's not put into grotesque detail, but it is mentioned,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here!  
> Sorry this chapter's a little later than usual, but a lot of personal stuff that I don't really wanna talk about went down and delayed a lot of my usual writing time this past week. I just wanted to say- thank you all for being so kind and understanding. It was wonderful get to spend time with my sister without worrying about writing this chapter.  
> But it's here now!  
> Enjoy!

The closed entrance to the Labyrinth of Posthumous Memory wasn't really that intimidating. It was a flat pitch black slab about as wide and as tall as Keith with his arms outstretched. A little scintillating white stone lay in the middle of the door like a lone star in a dead night sky. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the crystalline maze. While the rest of the maze was about as smooth and dark as the door, the walls were crystalline and obviously taller than the doorway. Not to mention the dark purple glint to the walls and something else that quickly caught his attention.

Inside the crystals, billions of tiny dimly glowing dots moved about. They bore thousands of different dim colors, giving the crystals their unique shine and shimmer. It was... 'beautiful' was too simple a word for such a wonder. 'Extravagant' was better, but not much. Breathtakingly ethereal would have to do. They didn't have much time to admire the beauty in front of them. They had a job to do.

As Keith stepped closer to the door, Dremor's memory stone started to glow and vibrate in his grip. The closer he got, the more intense it got. Almost insistently, urging him to stop stalling and get this done and over with. They didn't really have the luxury of stopping and smelling whatever passed for roses here.

The little stone in the door did the same the closer he got. It was slower to get going, but once he was close enough, it started picking up the pace to catch up. Soon enough he was right in front of the door with both stones humming with an unknown energy. He looked over to Hunk, who was reaching into his hood for... some reason. He decided not to ask for now.

With barely a bracing breath, Keith let the stones touch.

The next turn of events was instantaneous and subtle. The two stones stopped their dissonant hums and flashed for a split second, blinding enough to make him blink a couple times in surprise. While his eyes adjusted from the sudden stunning assault, he could have sworn he still saw the door.

Yet when his eyes fully recovered and adjusted, the door and its little stone were gone without a trace. Like they never truly existed in the first place. He had no idea how that even worked, but he wasn't going to complain about it now. He didn't need to know how it worked. He just needed to know where the fucker that might have killed Lotor and potentially Empress S'Asith was before it escaped.

Keith looked over to Hunk and met his gaze confidently. Then his eyes trailed down to see what Hunk was holding, which had apparently been in his hood. That was when his expression fell to surprise.

"Dude," he said. "How the hell do you have your bayard?"

Hunk looked to him with confusion. "Pidge managed to work out an upgrade," he told Keith calmly. "To make the bayards a bit more..." He clicked a button on the bayard's side with his thumb. In a flash of light, the bayard's strange metal condensed considerably, remolding and shrinking into a thin line traveling over Hunk's knuckles on the handle. "...Travel-sized. I brought mine in case I needed it." He raised a brow. "Are you saying you, of all people, _didn't?"_

"Of course I didn't," Keith told him. "Allura wouldn't let me. She said it was 'bad for diplomacy' for me to have a weapon of any kind on me once we showed up to the ball. I didn't want to ruin our chances for an alliance just 'cause of my paranoia." He paused for a mere moment before his mind brought up yet another question to ask. "...And what do you mean by me of all people?"

"Well," Hunk said with a shrug. "You carry a knife with you nearly everywhere you go, even when you don't need to. I'm pretty sure you sleep with one under your pillow just in case you need to stab any bad dreams or something." God, he only _wished_ that was possible. "...I know I sound like I'm ragging on you, but it's a good trait, man. You're always prepared for the worst, which happens a hell of a lot more than it probably should. It's just... surprising to me that you're not prepared for this."

Keith shrugged simply. "I had other things to think about," it took him a moment to realize what that implied and quickly turned back towards the open entrance so he wouldn't have to see the shit-eating knowing expression he knew for a fact Hunk was pointing at him. "Whatever. I'll figure something out when we get there." He gestured for Hunk to follow. "Come on. That abomination's not gonna wait all night for us to show up."

He walked briskly through the maze, holding the memory stone up by its thin strangely-braided silver string. It was a handy trick he figured out pretty quickly. Whenever he came across multiple openings and paths to likely get lost or mixed up in, the stone moved in the right direction. Since he didn't really have any better plan to get through the labyrinth than this, he was more than slightly inclined to have faith in it and follow along the path it seemed to know.

Hunk followed at his side, almost matching his pace step for step. Keith made sure to check he was still there every so often. After all, he had no idea what this thing was capable of. He wouldn't put it past it to try and separate them in some way, probably using the strange oily black coating that seemed to cover them. Maybe it was some kind of... remotely controlled second skin. 

Or something like that. Anything was possible on an alien planet. Nothing they encountered had to follow Earth's rules in the slightest. It was always both fascinating and terrifying, depending on the situation. This one was landing quite quickly in the latter category. He almost didn't know why he kept dwelling on it.

Almost being the key word. Playing dumb wouldn't really help, considering he was trying to hide where his thoughts truly wanted to dwell on from himself. It was quite the uphill battle to do so. But it was better than letting himself plummet into the murky waters trying to beckon him away from the cliff's edge he now resided at. He couldn't let himself fall into despair, not now of all times. No matter how tempting it was.

Yet still he got flashes, quick blinking moments where he can see Lotor over him. Close enough to touch, to hold. And if he'd been _better,_ close enough to protect from what ended up happening to him.

Such thoughts weren't healthy. He knew that, and he shooed them away immediately after they showed up. Yet they kept coming back in swarms like flies on a festering corpse.

God, that was dark. He needed something different, fill the plaguing silence. It was too open, too wide. He felt like he was falling in it, drowning in self-doubt and young regrets. It felt like a cavernous hole had somehow replaced his chest. He needed to fill it as soon as possible, if not just to avoid the problem a little while later. Likely when he was lucky enough to be alone with his thoughts.

He couldn't wait to get back to the Castle. Part of him itched to just... forget it. Forget all this. Turn tail and run back, or at the most extreme- hijack a shuttle or a full-blown ship and leave the Paladins in general. He knew himself, he knew he wouldn't actually do it, but the fact that he even bothered to waste time and energy on such thoughts shamed him deeply.

He wouldn't run. Not now, not ever again. Those days were over and done with. But the urge still lingered, like a narcotic after-effect. Like being a coward and running when things inevitably went wrong was some kind of drug his mind was still absolutely hooked on. The very concept of it disgusted him immensely.

"Keith?" Hunk's voice managed to penetrate the whirling storm cloud thoughts like a lone ray of sunshine. It was weak, barely warm enough to affect him, but still good enough to give him a little bit more clarity. When Keith looked over at him, he got exactly what he'd expected to- candid concern. "You okay? You had this really... _intense_ look in your eyes for a minute there." He cracked a halfhearted smile. An attempt to lighten the mood a little bit. "For a second, I thought you were gonna set the grass on fire or something."

Keith let out a sigh, letting the building pressure in his shoulders drop. "I'm okay," he said. "Just got a little bit... lost in thought, I guess." He let out what hopefully came across as a genuine chuckle and gestured around them. "Probably not the best place to get lost, though. Literally or metaphorically." His mirrored smile dropped a bit. "Sorry about that. I'll stay focused for now." 

He glanced over to the memory stone. It was starting to glow and vibrate as it did before, but with some kind of rhythm to it now. It pulsed in and out steadily almost exactly like a heartbeat would. Keith adjusted his grip on the stone. This thing was boundlessly important to the Empress. It'd probably be best if he didn't drop it like an idiot on the way.

"We're getting close," Keith told him. "Shouldn't be too long now."

"I know," Hunk said hushedly, sounding almost... awestruck. "Look at the walls. They're... leading us, I think."

Keith glanced over to see what the heck that actually meant, and...

 _"Wow,"_ he couldn't help but breathe out the simple word at the non-simple sight before the two of them.

On either side of them, smooth glassy crystal was now adorned with smooth white lines as they progressed. They were reminiscent of veins peeking out under translucent skin, forming alongside the two. They occasionally branched out, but never stayed apart for long. Two or even three would eventually become one once more.

Not to mention the glittering starlike dots in the crystals condensing around the lines, winking and blinking at the Paladins in a stunning display. The display was so beautiful, it took Keith a moment to realize something about it. Both the veins and the dots blinked in and out in roughly the same rhythm as the Empress' memory stone. Following along with it, almost.

For a moment, everything was still and serene. A perfect picture of stunning beauty and tranquil silence.

In other words, Keith prepared himself for what was inevitably going to happen next. All it took was a strange but usually barely alarming shift caught in the corner of his eye. A split second of darkness in the light moving right by Hunk's side. In any other scenario, he wouldn't have thought much of it. He would've just dismissed it as nothing and moved on to focusing on whatever real threat was plaguing them.

But this was the real threat at the moment, so Keith was quick to act. He wasn't going to let this creature take someone else from him. If it was gonna take anyone, it would be him. He'd make sure of it.

Driven by pure instinct, Keith grabbed hold of Hunk's wrist. Without a second of warning or hesitation, he pulled his fellow Paladin towards him, bracing himself against the sudden weight. Hunk didn't even cry out, just... stared at him with bewilderment as the creature's shrill call broke the peace of the night.

"Guess we found it," Hunk mumbled, moving out of Keith's arms into a battle-ready stance. He looked over to Keith as his bayard activated in a brief flash of light. He pointed it right at the steadily advancing monster. It stalked ever onward without fear. "How are you gonna do this?"

"Good question," Keith glanced around quickly for something to improvise with. Maybe a chunk of one of the walls or... something like that. But whatever it was, he had to get it quickly. The thing was crawling now, looking like it was get ready to pounce. The memory stone stuttered for a second, then seemed to... readjust itself somehow. It pulled in a slightly different direction. Not to mention it did so much more insistently, like it knew how urgent the current situation was for them. Pretty smart, for an alien stone.

He didn't bother questioning it. Another gut feeling told him to follow it as fast as he possibly could. He was pretty inclined to follow it, especially now. He looked back to Hunk. "Come on," he instructed. "I think the stone knows the answer to that."

"What?" Hunk asked. "How is that-?"

"Just shut up and trust me!" Keith interrupted and started running along the pat the stone was leading him in.

They didn't waste any time. Keith ran out ahead, knowing Hunk wouldn't be able to be just behind him with a huge weight like his bayard. Especially once he started firing it behind them. But he made sure to check behind him periodically, making sure that Hunk was still visible. He made sure not to go as fast as he could have just to make that possible.

Eventually they abandoned the narrow crystalline hallways for something much better combat-wise: a wide open clearing. Only one thing stood besides them, waiting right in the middle of it- a statue. It wasn't made of the same material as the walls or the memory stone. It was more reminiscent of whatever covered the creature- black with a constant sheen to it- but he knew in an instant it wasn't the same thing. The shine within the smooth material was iridescent, swirling like the secondary colors in a blown bubble.

The statue depicted what was likely the moment before a brutal battle ignited, with two sides facing off against each other. On one side, a warrior in heavy armor almost identical to Zarkon's own, holding a sword and a shield. The wearer looked prouder than the Emperor, though- with elegant Galran markings on a well-chiseled face. He certainly looked handsome, yet Keith couldn't help but feel uneasy while looking at him. He looked proud and ready to fight, yet something about the man felt... wicked. Purely, irredeemably _evil._ Not like most Galra he'd ever met.

He could see it clear as day. There was still good in almost all Galra he'd ever encountered, even if it was buried down deep inside of them. Only a select few- Zarkon and Sendak were the ones who came to mind- were too far gone. Guess he had a new face to add to that list now.

The figure heading towards him was clad much differently, in sleeker-looking armor and equipped with a gigantic sword that looked like a struggle to keep up, let alone swing. From what he'd seen at the ball, he'd guess they were an ancient Etmean, usually calm features twisted into valorous rage. Only one thing seemed out of place on them- the carving on the Etmean's chestplate. It was a perfect replica of the symbol emblazoned in his left shoulder. Yet for the life of him, he couldn't fathom why it'd be there. He glanced down at the statue's plaque in hopes of some kind of answer.

The neatly-lettered message of _High Priestess Dremor-Ithan's Battle Against so-called 'Son of the Creators'_ greeted him. Which told him... almost nothing. Other than the useless fact that the Empress was apparently named after some kind of historical hero or something. He doubted the creature would care to know that little nugget of information.

Yet the stone pulled him toward the Etmean figure. It grew more and more insistent with each step he took, until it seemed like he didn't even need to move for them to reach their final destination. The stone sung like a dissonant choir as it touched the metal. Too loud for him to hear anything else, not even the gunfire from Hunk's bayard or the banshee screams of the creature. He was completely deaf to Hunk's concern-stricken calls, no matter how desperate they got.

Like the stone was white-hot with energy, the statue melted quickly. But it didn't dissipate or fall to a puddle on the floor. Instead, the metal moved toward him. Swirling and arranging itself into place until his left arm and chest was fully covered with the material. It shaped itself into armor in the exact same style as the Etmean figure, with the same symbol and everything.

The memory stone was still firmly in his hand, but it wasn't alone anymore. The metal attached to it and made it into something much more. Namely, part of a pommel of a sword almost identical to the statue. It looked elegantly carved, with a darker outer edge and gold swirling markings all along it. Markings that he knew honored the Creators, even though he had no way of knowing such. Just like he suddenly knew the material was auxirgütilianite- the living metal stuff they were trying to ally with Etme for- without any cues to tell him. He just suddenly... _knew._

If that was all the work of the living metal? Guess he also knew now why this stuff was so valuable, too.

And while it had looked impossibly heavy, it... surprisingly wasn't. Sure, it wasn't light as a feather or anything like that, but it was definitely manageable. It'd be a tiring struggle to swing the sword for very long, but a gut feeling told him he wouldn't need very long. 

The plan that popped into his head seemed simple enough to him, yet would have probably taken a couple minutes to actually put into words. Like before, he didn't need to learn anything. He didn't need to think about it- he just _did._ Once he started to move once more, he couldn't stop.

Not that he was unable to stop himself or anything. He could have if he actually wanted to. Thing was, he didn't want to. He was content to move entirely on blind instinct. Especially with the assistance of the living metal that had no qualms about anything he did. So he jumped into the fray, physically present but not quite _there_ in his head.

For as he moved, acutely aware of the fact that his energy was slowly draining as he did so, Keith's mind melded with a memory that wasn't his own. A memory that wasn't even the Empress', yet he just knew that she had certainly seem it before. In the memory, he wasn't an outsider. An audience member to some kind of stage play. He did even merely feel like he was in on the action with an outside awareness that he wasn't.

Oh no, that would be much too simplistic for a power such as the one he harnessed. As far as Keith's mind was concerned, this memory _was_ his. He was in on the action, which unravelled before him like the present passing of time. 

Rather than the middle of the Labyrinth- a little lone crystal at this time- he was in the dining hall of Hamekhu- the Galran Castle of the Creators. Each culture had one to commune with and house any Creators in the mortal realm. They were all lavish and extravagant, but the one the Galra people housed was doubly so. Likely because their leader- Arakhu- lived there as dedicated lover of a Creator and father to two more. 

Marmora, the recently-discovered Creator of Honor and Mercy. It was unclear what their children were destined to signify yet, but they were still honored and respected as Creators. Mallorius, the quiet and always responsible and Gamora, the fiery and passionate about everything. They'd lived there in peace and harmony for hundreds of years, pulling the rest of the Universe along for quite the pleasant ride. Everything was hardly ever picturesque and perfect, but it was alway close enough to keep everyone content.

And then that all changed.

That much was clearly visible in the crumbling ruins around him. Arakhu and his most loyal soldiers tore up the place, shattering the commune crystals to cut off all communication with the outside worlds. It was a successful surprise attack, one so swift and purely unexpected that there was no hope of retaliation in any form. Hamekhu suffered greatly for it, and now stood before them as but a shadow of its former self.

In the memory, he walked down along splintered and scratched tables. Tables that once housed banquets of light and laughter were now barren and dark with... whatever strange material Arakhu somehow managed to harness and turn poor Mallorius- his own _daughter-_ into... into-

"Dremor-Ithan," a calm, yet subtly troubled voice commanded his attention elsewhere. He was eternally grateful for the distraction. He glanced over to his one companion, his only friend left in this Creator-forsaking war Arakhu forced his people into. "We're getting close. I can feel it."

His commander was a naturally commendable woman, one nearly unrecognizable from how she was a few years prior to her husband's takeover. She wore armor he- Keith, not Dremor-Ithan (it was majorly difficult to distinguish)- immediately recognized as a more elaborate version of what the Blade of Marmora wore. Her decorated hood was down, revealing short-clipped ink-black hair and pale lilac skin portioned with white. Her mask was held gingerly in battle-worn hands, revealing the face of one too young to look as if she's seen so much. Little scars littered her proud face, defiling it like Arakhu defiled their home. Her wise golden eyes looked upon him now with a sadness that hurt his heart too much to bear silently.

To think, that a Creator could be wrung down in such a way. Especially by one she'd loved so deeply for so long. The very concept of it disgusted him.

"Lady Marmora," he said without a moment of hesitation. "Ga'naan lyn?" He immediately knew what he was saying, even though part of him realized he likely shouldn't. _What troubles you so?_ He stepped toward her in immediate concern.

She simply gave him a tired smile, like she'd said this before. Probably what felt like a million times over. "Please, ma rėah." _my friend._ "You know you don't have to call me that. Just like I do not call you by your own title, High Priestess."

Her mood was temporarily lifted. That was an achievement at a time like this, especially in the crumbling ruins of her old family home. That felt like it was good enough for them. "Yes," they said, smirking as they glanced up at her towering stature just to gaze upon her face. "But you are a Creator, ga wáran." He knew that one already, thanks to Lotor. "You garner and deserve much more respect than I ever will."

Marmora chuckled amusedly at the notion, and freed one hand from her ominous (and much less high-tech, in Keith's perspective) mask to drape her well-toned arm around their shoulders and pull them closer to her side. "Reda," _Stop,_ she said lightly. "You give yourself too little credit, ma rėah. I never could have found the strength to make it this far without you." Looking at her face, they knew immediately that she was genuine about the notion. 

But it didn't take long for that expression to fall. "...Which makes what I wish to ask of you that much harder to put into words."

Their brows knit closer at the sudden notion. "And what would that be, Marmora?" They couldn't help but ask. "I would do anything you wish." Their arm draped around her waist. They smiled up at her. "All you'd have to do is ask it of me, and it's as good as done."

"I know," she said, yet the solemn expression didn't escape her face. "And I appreciate your loyalty far more than words could ever express, ma vhen rėah. Yet given everything this war's put you through, I can't help but feel... wrong for even considering what I wish to ask of you." She looked down upon them guiltily. "I must go. Arakhu is getting closer to our location, and I..." Her face twisted to one of heartfelt pain. "I cannot fight him. I... I still love him dearly, even after all the atrocities he has committed. My heart wouldn't be able to bear fighting him, let alone ending him if it truly came to that. He knows that, and I believe he's counting on it so he can have an easy way to cripple our efforts."

She took a stuttering breath and steeled herself before she continued to speak. "But I know you, vhen." Her gaze returned to them. "I know you've been itching for a chance at Arakhu since the tragedy that befell both your kadan-hassarah." _Heartbonded._ The celestial bond at work once more. "I'm giving you that opportunity now... but with a slight catch. One that will be difficult to ask of you."

"It's alright," they immediately assured. Even so, they meant it entirely. They couldn't think of any condition too unfair for her to ask of them. "Go ahead, ma lethalli." _'My Ruler,' counting as 'my lord' and 'my lady' in one statement._ "I am open to anything you may suggest."

"You may regret those words," Marmora warned. "But very well. I need you to stay behind while I deal with the Myazma. It will be difficult, but I know I will be able to do it."

Their brows drew closer in concern. "But it's using Mallorius," they said. "In order to kill it, you need to-"

"I know," Marmora told them drily. "I think I may know an alternative, but if it works..." She paused to draw up her hood, moving her hand off of them completely. "I will not come back. Mallorius will, but she shall be... different. I believe Karliah shall take her in as a Guide." She let out a humorless chuckle. "Universe knows she shall likely need one after this war is over. With so many dead, someone will need to deliver them to Sihanye safely."

"So..." They were trying to wrap their mind around the sudden influx of information. "You wish for me to stay behind and fight your kadan-hassarah while you doom yourself and your eldest daughter?" It seemed like utter madness. "You know Gamora won't take your loss well." With how hotheaded the young Creator already was, this would absolutely destroy her.

Marmora put her mask back on, clicking it into place with skilled hands. Like she'd done so millions of times before. "I know she won't," she said. "She will likely wreak havoc upon Arakhu's forces." She sighed. "Ush'nara paan." _Such is fate._ "Ma belan," _My apologies,_ "but it has to end this way. There is no other."

"Bas-elan," _Bullshit apology, (basically)_ they said. "There is always another way." Anger flared up inside them. Anger that would have greatly shamed them otherwise, but at the moment it was too pent-up to truly avoid. They glanced up at the emotionless mask, which only made them angrier- that Marmora didn't wish to betray her true emotions to them. The biggest insult to an Etmean. "You know something you're not telling me. If you care, ma lethalli, give me the truth."

Of course, they couldn't see her face. Just the mysterious three-eyed mask that turned to face them. "I do care," she said tenderly. "But the best chance we have at saving the Universe from such an evil requires great sacrifice. If that sacrifice involves the death of your trust in me, so be it. I ask only that you delay Arakhu. If you wish, you can spend the rest of your days cursing and defiling my memory to your heart's content. I won't blame you."

She looked like she was going to continue, then quickly perked up like an animal who suddenly heard a twig snap in the forest's silence. "He's nearly here," she said hushedly. "There is so much I wish to say to you, but apparently I have dallied too long to say such. Raas von-mir Amus, I suppose. But I want to leave you with these parting words."

Her gloved hands reached out to clutch at their shoulders tightly. Her words were hurried and quiet. When her eyes pointed at them, it felt like they were piercing the veil of memory. Almost like she was looking right at Keith instead of Dremor'Ithan. "You will overcome many challenges," she told him sagely. "Many of them will be on your own, when you least expect it. Everything might seem hopeless, but _do not give up."_

Her grip on his shoulders tightened slightly. "There will always be a source of light in the darkness, even if you have to dig to find it. And if you cannot find a source of light," she hurriedly took off her mask for a quick moment to reveal shining eyes and a wavering smile. _"Be_ that source of light." She took a shaky breath. "And know that I might not be watching over you, some form or extension of me will. She will be proud of you, as I am." She quickly kissed his forehead and fitted her mask back on. "But remember she will eventually have to leave, as I do." One hand tenderly cupped his face. "Goodbye, vhen'hala. I shall see you again across the surface of the Eternal Sea."

And with that and a dark flourish of her cape, she was gone. Never to be seen again by Dremor'Ithan in life. Not like Dremor'Ithan waited too long to take her up on that last offer. Her light was eventually extinguished in the fiery fight with Arakhu that quickly began afterwards. 

But that knowledge didn't dim his own fire as his attention finally returned to the present. Hunk's shots and the creature's screams filled the quiet night air as he moved about like fighting was a mere muscle memory to him. Every move was natural and fluid, like wind and fire dancing inside one person. He didn't have to think about what he was going to do next, he simply followed along.

The auxirgütilianite responded well to his every instinct. Not once did his plates get in the way of his fluid movements. If they were going to, they simply melded and readjusted in seconds. It threw off any possible chances this thing had of winning, between his swift blade and Hunk's pretty accurate shooting. Traces of marine blue ichor tinged with little white chunks of rock that decorated his sword told him that easily.

If that wasn't enough, he could see it in the way the creature started to move in the fight. At first, it was completely on the offensive. Trying and failing to cut that deep into either of their skins. That seemed to frustrate it to no end as the wounds on itself kept piling up and up. Cut after merciless cut and bullet after constant bullet, it kept trying with either very high faith in its own ability or just a complete disregard for its own safety. Or perhaps it was both. He had no way of knowing the answer at first.

But now he knew- it had been the former. As it staggered, blood dripping from countless carved orifices, it moved away from Keith in a last-ditch effort at escaping. Likely to heal and continue terrorizing Etme at some later time.

Keith- and as an extension for the time being, the auxirgütilianite- wasn't gonna have any of that shit. There was absolutely no way in hell he was gonna let this monster walk away from this fight alive, even with it's tail between it's legs. That wasn't good enough. Neither was capturing it and bringing it back to either Castle.

If what happened in the ballroom hadn't gone down the way it did, he might have at least considered it. But after what it did to Lotor? 

"Oh no you don't," Keith growled, eyes hyperfocused on the monster. His left fist clenched as he willed the metal to go along with his specific plan. It was malleable as water poured into a new container, easily reforming from armor and a sword to a long, thick spinning chain connected to a bracer on his forearm. At the end was a small blade, molded to look like his own with Marmora's symbol and everything.

He thought it was pretty fitting, given the onslaught of old information suddenly placed upon him. A little poetic justice never hurt anyone aside from the one paying it.

With the practiced ease of a professional, he brought his left arm up and let go of the chain. The blade flew like it was practically made to do so, soaring to and sinking deep in it's target with ease. The chain pulled taut at his bracer but it did not budge. No matter how the creature strained with all the loud desperation a dying animal caught in a trap would have, the chain nor the blade hesitated for a moment. The thing didn't have a chance in hell of escaping this. Especially not when both his hands gripped onto the chain.

He looked over to Hunk. "We can't leave this thing alive," he said. "It's too dangerous." He gestured with his head towards the monster. "I'll give you the honors, ma rėah. Make it quick."

"Okay, but..." Hunk looked to him with slight confusion. "What did you just-" His eyes trailed over to the writhing monster and quickly widened in a concoction of horror, surprise, quickly followed by regret. _"Oh my god."_ was all he managed to say about it before Keith's eyes followed the path to see what would garner such a reaction.

Keith immediately understood as he watched a familiar figure, now riddled with bloodstained jagged crystals peeking out of her wounds and still impaled by his blade, sink to her knees. "Empress S'Asith," he said, as if that was the only way to prove to himself that this was indeed happening. 

The auxirgütilianite melted off and away from the scene, apparently sensing it had no further use at the moment. He didn't pay much attention to it or his body's growing realization of his drained energy. He simply rushed to her side, just managing to catch her in his arms before she fully fell to the ground.

"Oh my _god, Keith,"_ Hunk said, repeating the three words a couple more times like a holy mantra. "We-We just-"

S'Asith managed to smile through cracked and stained lips. "Do not... worry, Paladins," she said weakly. "You... did the right thing. I did not want to live another moment as that..." She winced. "Tortuous creature. But I don't have long." She looked between the two of them. "Yet I have _so much_ to say. First of which- I am so--" She didn't get the chance to finish speaking as a particularly big crystal jutted out of another wound and she cried out as a result.

"Hey," Keith told her softly. "It's okay. You don't have to apologize for anything." Marmora's words still rung clear in his mind. He couldn't find any sources of light in this situation, and he didn't have time to dig for one. Right now, he could only hope he could be a good substitute.

S'Asith chuckled weakly at that. "I... appreciate the sentiment, dear." She told him. "But you're wrong." She looked away from both of them. "As was I. About you Paladins, about Voltron... _everything."_ Her eyes shone with threatening tears. "Yet Dremor, she..." She bit her lip and looked to Hunk. "Yellow Paladin, I know you have no reason to, but... may you please do me a favor?"

Hunk knelt down by the dying Empress' side. "O-Of course," he said. "What is it?"

A shaky hand slid into her left pocket to procure her own memory stone. Dremor's started to vibrate at the sight of it. "Go back to the Castle," she instructed. "Give Dremor this, and tell her..." She winced and passed it into Hunk's hand hurriedly. "I-I'm sorry we fought. I was an idiot, too afraid of change to admit that... we need it. We need Voltron. And I..." Her voice broke as milky white tears trailed down her cheeks. _"I love her. I love her so much, and..."_

"Your Highness," Keith interrupted her quietly, as a way to avoid how his drained arms started to strain even at holding her frail body up slightly. He was _exhausted._ "Do you wish for me to go with him?"

"No," she answered immediately. "No. I... I do not wish to die alone. You don't have to indulge me, of course." She let out a humorless chuckle. "I cannot imagine why you would. I tried to kill you."

"That wasn't you, and it's gone now. It can't hurt you anymore." Keith said knowingly, and passed Dremor's memory stone to Hunk. He looked over at his fellow Paladin. "Go. I'll catch up."

Hunk looked like he wanted to ask something, but didn't. Instead he held the memory stones gingerly like the precious things they were and nodded. He went off back into the Labyrinth quickly.

"He's gone," S'Asith looked at Keith with her own knowing look. "You don't have to hide your exhaustion any longer, Black Paladin. I know how much auxirgütilianite can take out of a person after a... display like that. In truth, I am... surprised you lasted this long before slipping into unconsciousness. Many first-timers do that immediately, and none go through... those lengths."

Keith shrugged, then winced at how his muscles loudly protested against the movement. "I had to stop that thing," he said. "I wasn't really thinking about the consequences."

"A dire mistake in any situation," S'Asith said with a twinge of bitterness and looked up at the sky. "Remember that, Black Paladin. But... let's not focus on such things. I am... fading. Fast." She looked to him with glassy eyes. The crystals jutting out of her body were starting to glow. "I only wish for one more favor, Kogane." Her voice became softer, barely a whisper. Her hand rested on his shoulder. "...Embrace me until the end. _Please."_

He did. Without hesitation, he held her close and hugged her like a close friend until she let out her last whisper of breath. "Karliah messeren-ga Sihanye, ma lethalli." He whispered. "May you find rest in the Beyond." He still held her close until his own consciousness faded away soon afterwards, his body finally shutting down from the exhaustion of it all.

The last thing he saw was a bright light looming over him and the last thing he heard was a familiar voice shout, "Guys! I found him!" He didn't have the time or energy to question who it was. He simply leaned back and let himself fall into the loving embrace of unconsciousness.

The last thing he thought of was long white hair and loving gold and blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think most of you guys have been waiting for this chapter ever since this fic started, but it's finally here!  
> Enjoy!

Keith did not entirely lose consciousness for long. He was not entirely lucid when he woke- his consciousness ebbed in and out like waves lapping at the shore- but he certainly wasn't out cold. He was stuck, _drifting,_ in the middle of it all. He had no idea why, but he had a feeling he'd been in a situation similar to this before. It didn't worry him. Especially not when big, strong arms carried his body away to... somewhere else. The light was too blinding for his eyes to bear.

 _"I've got Lotor's little boyfriend,"_ he heard an unfamiliar voice rumble, full of strength and power. Considering how close it sounded, he could only guess that the voice belonged to the one carrying him into the blinding light. _"Are you sure_ this _is the one he's so damn infatuated with, though?"_ He felt a big, roughly-skinned hand hold up his wrist like it was a mere ragdoll's. _"He's so_ tiny. _I don't know why he chose this one, though. Doesn't look like much to me. The Altean Princess would probably be a better mate. Stronger, less..."_ They trailed off for a second, probably looking for the right word. _"small."_

He didn't twitch, didn't bother to move at all at the unfamiliar contact. Though his submerged mind did start fighting against the vicious current with more vigor at the mention of Lotor's name. These people knew him? Who were they? Where were they going to take him? ...Did they have good intentions? The worst possible scenarios started fluttering through his head with as much organization as a knocked over stack of papers.

 _"Don't worry, Zethrid,"_ he recognized the new voice immediately, though it carried a much more amused tone this time. After all, he'd heard it not too long ago giving him the shovel talk. _"I share those sentiments. Princess Allura would be my choice among the Paladins too."_ She paused for a moment before sighing. _"...But I'm not Lotor. You already know I might not fully agree with his tastes in partners, but I respect them."_

Another pause. He couldn't help but feel... watched. He could almost perfectly envision her steely eyes looking down upon his frame.

 _"...This is definitely his current one. And I have to admit: he's definitely not the worst one Lotor's picked. It's far too early to tell for certain, but from what I've seen?"_ Her voice became softer. _"I like him. He seems decent, and you guys_ know _how happy he makes Lotor. Things look pretty good- he's the exact same way he was when I saw him-"_ her voice suddenly took a turn, became much more emotional. _"Oh Creators."_

Part of him immediately felt for her. It was likely she was reacting to Lotor's dried blood stain still decorating the front of his outfit. He'd react much of the same way, if he was in her shoes. Part of him was still suspicious of all this, but the growing urge to console her somehow easily overpowered it. His eyelids were heavy as every mountain in the Universe molded into one, but he eventually managed to crack his eyes open slightly. It wasn't much, but it was enough to peek out at his surroundings.

The lights were dimmed slightly, just enough not to give him too big of a headache to decide this wasn't worth it. He couldn't see far or in great detail. But he could see the cold hard worry on Acxa's face as her shining eyes fixed themselves upon his abdominal decoration.

 _"Is that...?"_ a farther-off voice asked quietly. He could only see her silhouette in his hazy vision, but he knew who it was- Ezor, Lotor's brightly-colored friend from Chameon. She didn't need to ask the rest of that question. Everyone knew what it was. Silence hung heavy in the room. Everyone was still, almost as if posing for a picture that would survive all the trials of time.

Acxa was the one who broke it all by moving. Ever so slowly, she reached her hand out to rest gently on the middle of the stain. Her brows furrowed deeper. Her mouth drew itself into an even deeper line as she stared at the stain like it had personally insulted everything about her. Like she could make it disappear if she stared at it hard enough.

None of them seemed to acknowledge or even know that Keith's eyes were open. Good. He could use that to his advantage at a time like this. While Keith still safely harbored the element of surprise in this scenario, he decided to use it. 

For the most part, his entire body felt like dead weight. Like he was just one big, useless sandbag that Lotor's pretty damn muscular friend had to tote around in her arms. He was still so sore that it hurt to even twitch his pinky finger. But for this to word, he had to move. And fast.

The arm Zethrid had lifted up to showcase how small he was dangled uselessly in some halfhearted effort to touch the floor. There was no way he was gonna be moving that one anytime soon if he could help it. Thankfully, his other arm was bent and resting on his stomach. Right now, it was just a little bit below where Acxa's hand currently rested.

Even with his barely-conscious mind, Keith still came up with the (admittedly pretty easy, but at the moment it was as daunting as climbing Everest) plan and executed it. He moved in one swift movement much like ripping off a band-aid to get the initial pain done and over with as soon as possible. He rested his sore hand gingerly atop Acxa's and met her surprised gaze with a tired yet warm smile.

He could see, just from the look in her eyes, the question resting on the tip of her tongue. So he beat her to the punch and answered it before she could ask. "It's his," he said gravely, his voice hoarse and barely legible. He saw her eyes darken with sorrow at the confirmation of her fears, and came up with more to say. "But he's... He's gonna be okay." His fingers curled around her hand, giving it the most reassuring squeeze his frail state could muster. "He's... at the Castle of Lions, in a healing pod. It'll fix 'im up."

At this point, he wasn't quite sure who the real main target of these assurances were. If it was all really just for Acxa and everyone else's benefit or if it was just a way to selfishly console himself before he returned to the drifting darkness disguised as a good deed. He could feel it's pull on him, getting stronger and stronger. It wouldn't be long now.

It took a few long and silent moments, but Acxa eventually smiled down upon him. "Thank you," she said. She didn't move her hand from it's spot, but she did move her fingers to graze his. Her other one quickly became occupied with wiping away threatening tears. "How are you feeling, Black Paladin?"

"Just call me Keith," he said. It was a fight to keep his eyes open. He knew for a fact if he closed his eyes, even for a second, he'd drift back off. He wasn't ready to go back to drifting just yet. "'S easier. And I feel really damn _tired._ Like, the kind of tired that spreads to every part of you, y'know?" At this point, talking and paying attention to Acxa were pretty much the only things keeping him awake. She gave him an empathetic nod. A familiar figure slowly advanced to her side. "'M not hurt or anything, just... really tired."

"Good to hear," she said. "We don't really have any medical supplies for serious stuff." She looked to the eyeless woman next to her with the same cool and calm mask Acxa quickly adorned once again- 'Lady Narticia', he remembered her formal name was. "Narti, evaluate his mental condition just in case. Be careful with him." Narti nodded in compliance, angling her head down so he'd truly know she was looking right at him. Acxa looked up to Zethrid. "Find him someplace to rest until we get him back home. You need to be careful with him, too. He's more resilient than he looks, but he's still breakable." She looked behind her. "Ezor-"

"Lemme guess," Ezor said. "Plot a course for Kitty Castle?"

That seemed to surprise Acxa, given the raised brows. "Yes, actually." She bowed her head slightly in respect. "...And it's the Castle of Lions. Not 'Kitty Castle'."

He could only guess that she shrugged at that. "Same thing," she said. "But don't worry. I gotcha, boss."

He could hear their voices continuing to talk, but he couldn't discern their words anymore. Once Narti's smooth and subtly scaled skin touched his ever so slightly, everything else faded into a blurry dreamlike haze. It almost felt like a bonding session with a Lion, only on a much smaller scale.

That didn't make the pull any less powerful. It scared him immensely, even knowing that this was just another one of Lotor's friends. He still carried the faintest vapors of suspicion on him. They could just be acting nice to lull him into a false sense of security until he fell unconscious again. It wasn't likely, but it was an open possibility. He wasn't ready to rule it out just yet.

But even if he wanted to move and do something about it, he couldn't. Not because of his sore body. He could have withstood the pain for a little bit. That was more than enough time if he played his cards just right.

No, he literally couldn't move. At all. No matter how much he wanted to, not a single nerve in his body twitched at his effort. A much bigger power was in charge of his body now, one so powerful he'd barely noticed it took over him before it was too late.

It felt like a Lion's bond, but less... non-physical would be the best description of it. He could feel observant power coursing through his veins, thrumming just below the skin and traversing his nerves. Observing it, checking every little detail for some kind of error in his systems. He definitely noticed when those observations turned to his brain. All the power flowed there and solidified (so to speak) into what felt like fingers literally rummaging through his mind like a filing cabinet.

It didn't hurt at all. Every touch was careful and calculated. But that didn't assure him in the slightest. Not much could when your thoughts were treated like thin sheets of paper, apparently. Needless to say he was a little freaked out by it all.

 _Well,_ the soundless voice in his mind, framed as another person's thoughts in his head, seemed to be amused. _Someone is certainly paranoid. Not that I can blame you, though. From what little I've seen, you have many reasons to be. Still, you need not fear. I will be respectful of your privacy._

Yeah, that _totally_ reassured him. Nothing to fear from the generous disembodied voice that held his thought like a puppet on pulled strings right now. Guess all his flaring instincts were dead wrong- there was nothing to worry about in this weird-ass situation.

 _Wow,_ Narti's thought-voice-thing (he had no idea how any of this fucking worked. At this point he was afraid to ask.) hummed. _The sarcasm in those last thoughts were palpable. I know you have barely a reason to trust me, but please. Try. Relax. Let me in, and this will go much faster. Lotor enjoys your company, so I would rather not force you to do this for me._ Her next words hummed with power, likely to show that she wasn't just all bark. _But if I have to, I will. It will be much easier for me than you might think._

He believed her. He didn't fully trust her, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. At least he had something resembling choice. Wasn't much of an assurance, but it was kind of one nonetheless.

It might assure him more if he actually knew what she was going to do with her mental fingers all about in his relaxed mind.

 _It's rather simple, don't worry,_ she answered his nonverbal question with an air of casual ease. _I need to evaluate your inner processes to make sure everything's still running optimally. Or, at least, at a constant rate._ Her voice was calm and explanatory, yet didn't feel like she was trying to talk him down or anything like that. _Thing is, the only way to truly tell if something is wrong with a certain subject is when they're unconscious and in a relaxed state. Not to mention this whole procedure will go much faster. So please, Keith. Close your eyes and calm your mind for me. I need to make sure you're alright._

In an occurrence as rare as raining diamonds, Keith did as he was told. He let his tired eyes flutter shut and his mind float back up into the hazy gray drifting depths. In an instant, everything in consciousness that had plagued him simply just... melted away into nothingness.

 _Thank you, Keith,_ were the last words he remembered thinking, despite the fact that he knew they weren't truly his own words.

When Keith next awoke, it was to a far more familiar sight. He watched the healing pod's cover dissipate and felt his tired body lean forward to escape. His muscles weren't completely fine, but they were good enough to move without much pain. His limbs felt heavier than usual, but they were much more manageable than the last time he was awake. Enough to catch himself from falling to the floor by grabbing hold of the pod's edge. It wouldn't last him long, but it bought a few more seconds on his feet.

Thankfully, he wasn't alone in the pod bay. Another bonus was that the other person noticed he was up quickly enough for it to count. Someone who rushed to his side immediately to help support him on his weak legs. Once he felt their hands upon him, he knew exactly who it was.

After all, he knew only one person in the Castle who had three fingers to each hand.

"Come on," Suo's voice assured him and confirmed his little theory on the identity of his assistant. One of their arms slid behind his neck to land on his opposite shoulder, grabbing it to steer and support him. He went along with their guidance and stepped out of the pod. "That's it." Their voice was calm, but quickly became more strained when he let go of the pod and had to lean on them for support. They guided him to the little slightly elevated platform in the middle of the room. "Let's get you sitting down for now. You know how strong I am. I'm not gonna be able to keep you up for long."

That was definitely the truth. He could already feel their arms shaking, straining to hold on to him. Apparently they didn't want a repeat of the first time they met. Then again, neither did he.

"Everyone else has already gone to bed, but I can go get them if you want?" They looked to him, definitely expecting an answer.

It had been a rough night. He didn't want to deprive them of any hard-earned rest. The warm reunion could wait until morning. So he simply shook his head no. They seemed to silently understand and left it at that.

"Well," he tried to joke, his voice still rough and gravelly. "This certainly feels familiar. Like déjà vu or something."

Suo guided him to sit down on the edge of the Altean platform willingly. They quickly set to sitting next to him with a huff and a look of slight confusion. "Déjà what?" They asked, raising a golden brow at him. "What does that mean?"

Oh. Right. Earthen languages hadn't spread to the rest of the Universe yet, so of course Suo wouldn't know the expression. He probably should've explained it right after saying it instead of assuming they'd just know what he meant for some reason. "It's a saying back on Earth," he told them. "French, from a country called... well, France. It means something like 'already seen', and people use it to describe the phenomenon that you've done or seen something in the exact way before." He shrugged. "I was trying to joke about how we first met."

"Ohh," they nodded in understanding. "I get it now." They laughed enough to have their mandibles fluttering, but it didn't feel quite... whole. It was a halfhearted effort trying to pass as a full one. He couldn't help but be curious as to why that was. "Yeah. It's certainly... interesting looking back at that time. Feels a lot longer ago than it actually was."

Keith nodded empathetically, eyes trailing to the only pod still in use. "Yeah," he said, studying Lotor's peaceful features. Thankfully, the vitals screen was up on the pod's cover. It was working faster than usual- probably an upgrade from Pidge, Hunk, and/or Coran- so it looked like it wouldn't be too long now before he was out. "That's part of the 'Castle of Lions' lifestyle." He looked back at Suo. "Time tends to feel a lot longer when you need to make the most of it every day."

"It sounds rough," they said, expression and tone practically unreadable. They didn't look at him. "Do you... r-regret any of it, though? Ever miss your homeworld at times like these?"

This sounded like much more than simple curiosity to him. More personal, and not on his end.

But they asked for a reason. He might as well give his immediate and completely honest answer. Far be it for him to deprive them of advice for whatever seemed to trouble them. Though it felt kinda weird to know that he was probably giving advice on something important instead of the other way around. Was this part of the whole 'leader' thing?

"To be completely honest?" Keith sighed, leaning his back against the nearest console. "No, I don't." He shrugged. "I will admit, there's a lotta stuff I wish I could've handled better than I did. Occasionally I'll have huge bouts of regret, but that's more of my... mental problems talking than anything genuine. Hindsight's always 20/20, but you can't change the future, so why dwell on it? All you can really do is move on." He saw their brows furrow in deep thought at that. "And I don't miss Earth one bit. There was nothing for me there when I left."

They suddenly looked to him with wide-eyed concern. "But... that's your _home,"_ they said, with full belief in everything they said. "Y-You're not supposed to stray from it for s-so long. H-How are you just... _okay_ w-with leaving it?"

He smiled at them softly. Pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall into place. "You know," he said. "There's a pretty popular saying kind of about this issue back on Earth. Wanna hear it?" When they nodded, he continued. "'Home is where the heart is.' It's not just one constant location of where you were born and raised if you don't want it to be. Anyplace you choose to stay at can be home. Earth never really felt like home to me, so I never bothered to miss it after I found a much better one." He gestured around him and quirked up a brow at them. "Know what I mean?"

They got the previous expression of deep thought and contemplation on their face once more. He could practically see the wheels turning in their head, processing the influx of new information. They slowly nodded, mandibles twitching idly. They let out a contemplative hum. "That's... a very interesting saying." They looked to him with a smile. "Thank you for the new information, Keith. It... it helps a lot."

"It's no problem," he said casually. "Though... If you're comfortable with it, can you tell me why you asked those questions? Something was obviously bothering you." He leaned forward with concern. "Is everything okay? Anything I can help you out with?"

"I'm fine," they assured him. "I was just... evaluating some recent choices I had to make. As you said," they gestured to him. "Hindsight is always 20/20. Wondering if I made the right call."

"Oh," he shifted in his spot for a bit more comfort. "Mind telling me what these choices were?"

They nodded slightly. "You've certainly earned that much from me," they said, staring off at the wall like they were looking through the fabric of time. "At the ball, before everything... _happened,_ Ulin-Drana... offered me a new position for when I went back to Tal'Zoryic. A permanent diplomatic relations representative for the project at events he'd be too busy to attend. It would pay a lot better and I would be able to travel far more than just Demetha or another research colony. I haven't given him a real answer yet. I'm... still thinking about it."

"That doesn't sound too bad," he tilted his head. "What's the catch? There's always some kind of catch with these kinds of things."

"I'd still be at ho- Tal'Zoryic most of the time," they explained. "Mainly still doing the same work when I'm not off at an event on the other side of the Universe. Home- the place you're born, in my culture- is... absolute to my people. You never stray from it for long. Many myths say it will draw you back in eventually, but..." They sighed. "I don't know. Before Demetha, I'd never left my colony before. I thought I was satisfied with my life, with what I was doing with it, but being here and getting to see more part of the Universe than I barely even knew about..." They trailed off.

"...If you went back now," he picked it up pretty easily. "You wouldn't be satisfied with it. Right?" When they nodded, he continued. "But you'd be doing plenty of traveling in your new job. See plenty of new places, meet tons of new people with more than enough experiences to learn from and stories to tell." He looked to them, speaking softly. "Is there... another reason why you're feeling conflicted about it?" It was more curiosity than hope, but he couldn't deny that the latter was involved without lying outright.

They hesitated, drawing their gaze down to the floor in silent consideration. Their mandibles twitched and twittered about as they thought about his question. Their shoulders raised as they started to speak and drew further up as they went on. "W-Well, I... I-I'd never- I j-just assumed that--" they sighed in resignation. "Yes. There is." They glanced over to him, turning their head to face him. "You."

He raised his brows in surprise at the blunt and a little unexpected answer. "Me, specifically?"

Their own brows flew up as they seemed to realize the insinuation. "No," they shook their head quickly, then abruptly stopped. "W-Wait, not that I don't consider _you_ a g-good reason to stay o-or anythi-thing. I do- you're v-very inspirational a-and you've... you've h-helped me in more ways than y-you'll ever know. I-I just meant- I-I meant th-the entire Vol-Voltron t-team but i-it all ju-just--" They buried their face in their hands and groaned in frustration. "Great Creators _above,_ you must think I'm an idiot."

He let out a chuckle at that. "Of course I don't," he assured. "Don't worry about it if you need to take your time explaining it. Or if you don't want to explain further, that's fine too. I think I understand your meaning already." He quirked up a brow, his expression softening and his voice tender. "Are you feeling anxious? Embarrassed?"

They nodded. "B-Both," they said tensely. "T-The latter u-usually brings up the f-former. I-I'll be fine, it just... t-takes a little while to w-wear off fully."

"I know," he said, nodding empathetically. "It's absolute _hell._ But do you want to learn a simple little exercise that always helps me a bit when it rolls around?" He could hear roughly those same words rolling around in his memory, belonging to a long-missed voice. Shiro taught it to him as soon as Keith was too big to curl up into a ball on his big brother's lap without feeling weird about it. "I can't really guarantee it'll help you at all, but hey- there's no point in not trying helpful stuff out at least once, right?"

"I..." They seemed to consider their options carefully for a couple split seconds before speaking once more. "O-Okay. I might a-as well tr-try." They shifted into a more comfortable position, sitting upright. "Wh-What do you n-need me to do f-for thi-this?"

"Okay," he moved into a similar position. "You've already got the first part down right," he placed a hand on their tense shoulder. "So great job, Suo. Very intuitive." He smiled softly at how their mandibles fluttered at the compliment. "Now I want you to close your eyes and drop your shoulders down. Just let the building stress in them down for this. It feels _so much better,_ trust me." His smile and voice turned warmer when he felt his hand on Suo's shoulder move down. "Good, good."

"I-It does feel... a-a little bit better," Suo said with a detectable hint of astonishment. "The stress i-is st-still there, in m-my chest, but it's..." They raised their brows. Their shut eyelids didn't move a bit. "It's n-not quite as bad a-as it was bef-before." They let one brow drop in a questioning gesture. "Wh-What now, Kei-Keith?"

Keith moved his hand off of their shoulder. "It's rather simple," he said. "But it's surprisingly relaxing." He instructed them calmly, focused entirely on them. He couldn't hear anything but the ever-so-subtle hum of the Castle's power caressing his bouts of bare skin. "I want you to breathe in as much as you can without straining. Let everything else fade away and focus on what's always keeping you here- your lungs and heart rate." 

He paused until they did as they did as they were told. "That's it," his voice was soft and guiding, a tone alien to his tongue but familiar to his ears. "Feel the fullness in your lungs, and let it all out slowly. Repeat it as many times as you need, but that's pretty much it."

They did as they were told. Then they repeated the simple cycle two more times before they opened their eyes again. "Wow," they exhaled, putting a hand to their chest with almost childlike wonder. "Th-that's... I mean, it's still whirling in there. But it's... manageable." They looked to him with wide, glimmering eyes like emeralds surrounding a fat opal.

Before he could speak or otherwise react, Keith found thin arms wrapped around him. Three-fingered hands grasped onto him tightly and pulled at the fabric of his Etmean clothes slightly. A rounded scaly chin rested on his shoulder, almost burrowing into the embrace. "Thank you," Suo whispered softly. "For... for everything. Especially the advice."

Keith returned the embrace with a soft smile. How could he not, in such a genuine moment like this? "It was never a problem," he said. "And neither were you, Suo-miraan." He broke off the hug, but kept his hands gently resting on their forearms. He wanted to look them in the eyes for this next part. "No matter where you go next, you have _value._ Whatever you choose, just... remember that, okay?"

Creators only know how many times he'd needed to hear those words along the course of his lifetime. He wasn't gonna repeat that ugly pattern.

They nodded. "Of course," they said. "Thank you, Black Paladin."

"You know you don't have to--"

"I know," they told him. "Usually I'd stay with your wishes, but with my people, calling someone by their title symbolizes the highest form of respect one can achieve. You may not feel the same way, but..." They smiled shyly at him, mandibles fluttering idly. "I believe you've earned that." They moved away from him to stand up and head for the pod bay door. Only when it slid open smoothly for them did they look back at them. "Thanks to you, I think..." They leaned against the doorframe for a moment. "I think I know what I'm gonna tell Ulin."

He raised a brow in confusion. "But I didn't-"

"I know you didn't outright say anything about it," they cut in. "But from what you've said... I know where you likely stand on the subject. And I agree with it." They moved off the doorframe and waved back to him. "Goodnight, Black Paladin." They headed off down the hallway and before he knew it they were completely out of his sight. 

He was now all alone with his thoughts. A prospect that usually scared him, but nothing malicious or even slightly bad jumped out at him like some kind of brain bogeyman. He just processed what happened and let the silence be his content companion. It was a strange change, but one he certainly wasn't complaining about.

He was kind of surprised how natural this felt. Not to mention how... _satisfying,_ seeing the result of his work and knowing it made a positive impact on a whole other person. Was this what Shiro felt whenever he helped Keith with something difficult? If it was, then he definitely couldn't blame him for being there for him whenever he needed it.

Not that Keith meant to imply that the good feelings that followed after were the sole reason Shiro ever did anything good, of course. They certainly weren't a negative factor in it.

He leaned back, resting his head against the cool metal of the console. He closed his eyes and took a breath that made him feel... serene. This was the silence he'd always adored, and the one he rarely got nowadays. For as long as he possibly could, he was going to enjoy however long it lasted.

He let the tranquility wash over him like the ocean's rising tide, glittering particles of salt like stars sticking to his skin. All the tension in his body dropped into the depths where they belonged for now as he let himself just... zone out completely. No conceivable thoughts, no pressing worries. Just quiet and peace intertwined like the simplest, yet somehow most elegant braid. He preferred it this way.

Yet he knew, going in, that it wouldn't last forever. Something would eventually come along and end it all. He just had to enjoy the calm while it lasted. Before the storm eventually caught wind of it and decided to rain on his parade.

The silence-ruining storm started with a quiet voice chuckling amusedly. It was a meek and weak sound, yet to him it was a crack of thunder in a closed off canyon. With just a few words, Keith was fully attentive and ready to move at a moment's notice. His eyes were wide open, his shoulders taut as a cat preparing to pounce on unwitting prey. All it took was one small thing to get him kicked into high gear. Such was his life.

Bu he couldn't find himself to complain about it much, considering the source. It also explained the heightened speed of Keith's reaction. He looked toward the source with a suddenly dry throat. "Lotor," he breathed the name out softly. "I..." He struggled for something to say as he finally stood up. "You're out."

Lotor stood, leaning on and bracing himself against the inner wall of the healing pod. "It would appear I am, yes." His limbs were obviously shaking at the sudden strain, but Keith couldn't see anything else wrong with him. For the time being at least. He still kept an attentive eye on Lotor's body, with a pretty viable alibi this time.

Keith headed over to him hurriedly. "Are you okay?" He asked, too focused on checking if Lotor had any unfixed wounds worriedly to notice the warm look on the prince's face. "How are you feeling? Are you still hurt? Can you feel every part of you right now, or-"

The same warm chuckle interrupted his words in their tracks. "I feel _fine,_ vhen'hala." He said lightly. "Just a little weak, but nothing a little movement won't fix. Really, you worry too much." His expression shifted slightly to questioning. "Just for curiosity's sake, is anyone else here right now? I wished to speak with you privately anyways, so if now isn't an opportune time, please tell me." The humorous glow in his eyes were quickly snuffed out. "I would..." His face turned the slightest bit pinker. His gaze dropped. "I'd greatly appreciate it if you were the only one to hear all that I wish to tell you."

Keith was struck speechless at the sudden change in Lotor. He looked like he was hosting a culmination of horrible feelings- shyness, nervousness, and maybe even _shame._ It immediately made him more concerned than any found physical injury. He drew his attention to Lotor's face, attentive to any and every change in it. "We're alone," he said tenderly. "You don't have to worry." he cradled Lotor's cheek with his hand, moving a bit of his hair out of the way in the process. "What did you wanna tell me?"

"I..." Lotor sighed, leaning into his touch solemnly. His gaze moved to pierce Keith's own. "I have to tell you something." He halfheartedly chuckled, his brows moving up bitterly. "Confess, really. It's... something I'm not proud of. Something I've never really been proud of, but you deserve to hear the truth before I ask you something. After all, it may change your answer and..." He steeled himself with a breath. "...how you feel about me in general."

Keith smiled softly at that. "You can try," he said. "But it's gonna take a _lot_ to really change how I feel about you, ma vhen." It sounded a bit cheesy even to him, but it was the truth. Lotor deserved to receive it too.

Lotor smiled, letting out a light chuckle at the notion. "Thank you," he said. "You are far too kind. Much more than I likely deserve, but that is not what I wish to tell you. I'd rather get the ugly truth of the matter over with now before you find out any other way. I know it wouldn't be as flattering." He took a deep breath before continuing. "For a few years of my life, I..." His gaze dropped and brows furrowed slightly in shame. "I served on a Galra ship. Full-time, as a communications officer. At first, I was simply just a datapad fetcher. But at the end, I had the privilege of listening in to calls between my ship's Commander and Emperor Zarkon himself."

Keith... didn't really know what to say. He didn't really know what he was expecting, but it certainly hadn't been _that._ He raised his brows in slight yet honest surprise. "Wow," was all he could think to say at first. The only reason he said more was the way Lotor's face fell at the simple word. Shame and his reluctant acceptance of it. "That's not remotely a deal-breaker. I still _like_ you, Lotor, I just..."

"It's quite a bit to take in, I know," Lotor told him, nodding like he knew that all too well. He met Keith's eyes with dead seriousness. "But I swear to you, on Marmora's name, I'm not still with them. I broke off any and all ties with them years ago. I would never betray you or any of your--"

"Shh," Keith placed a single finger softly on Lotor's lips. Surprisingly, it worked immediately. Lotor stopped talking, instead looking at him with confusion laced with worry. Especially as Keith moved closer to him. "You don't need to explain yourself any more. I believe you." He elaborated at the further confusion thrown his way. "If you say you broke off all ties, then you broke off all ties. End of story. I trust you enough to take you at your word."

Lotor only spoke again when Keith moved his finger away. "I- Really?" He asked. His brows raised further in surprise at the silent yet sure nod he got as a response. "I... don't know what to say." He let out a chuckle and gave Keith a bashful smile. "Except thank you, ma vhen'hala, for trusting in me." He leaned his forehead against Keith's own. "I promise I will not forsake it."

Keith believed him wholeheartedly. So much so that he almost didn't think about it otherwise. Just leaned into the mutual touch with a tender smile. He didn't need to say anything as he locked eyes with Lotor. Such a moment transcended language, transcended time itself as it blurred. His forever was in Lotor's arms, wrapped in the warmth and strength and love they held even at their most weakened state. They were like two cards leaning against each other, with the other being the only foundation keeping them up. At least, it felt such a way to him in the moment.

"Keith," Lotor whispered as if anything above that would ruin all of this. "I still need to ask you something."

"Go ahead," Keith told him softly, intertwining their fingers together slowly. "I'm listening."

"I..." Lotor started. "You know how I feel about you, from what I said to you before the dance and..." He hesitated for a moment. "Everything else. But I don't wish to simply assume your feelings on the matter. I understand that emotions can run high in stressful moments, so I can't possibly just hold you to the kiss or what you said right after." He swallowed like there was a lump in his throat. "And I have valued your friendship above the highest treasures of the Universe, but please tell me now- do you still feel that way?" He hesitated for a moment. "Do you, perhaps, wish to be... _more_ than friends?"

For a split second, he wasn't sure what to say to all that. He thought he'd made his own feelings pretty clear on the matter. If not with the kiss, then with the intimate moment he initiated between them. Guess he needed to make things just a bit clearer. He tilted his head up slightly, lifting his gaze to meet Lotor's eyes once more. "Will this be answer enough?" He asked right before closing the gap between them softly, tenderly.

Keith didn't really know what else to do past pressing his lips against Lotor's, but it seemed to do the job well enough. He didn't wanna try something out now and ruin the moment.

At first, Lotor's lips and body were tense in slight surprise. Both softened back down as it wore off, as he actually realized what was happening now. Lotor didn't progress the kiss beyond closed lips either, but they shifted to a more natural-feeling position against Keith's. It felt... 'nice' was too meek a word for it. For a few more seconds, he struggled with something that felt...

 _Right._ This all felt _right,_ he quickly realized. That was the best word he could use for it. Like everything had been building up to this point, and they were finally _there._ It settled on him with warmth and comfort, much like the actual moment they both found themselves in.

When they separated the kiss, Lotor's lips drew into a teasing grin. "That wasn't quite clear enough, vhen," he said with an obvious lighthearted tone. "I am afraid you're going to have to repeat yourself."

"Was that supposed to be a request, Princey?" Keith tilted his head up with his own smile, easily playing along with the charade.

Lotor shrugged and looked down upon him with half-lidded eyes. "Was that kiss supposed to be an answer to my question, dear Paladin?" The facade was quickly shattered when Keith actually nodded. His eyes widened slightly and his smile dropped at the silent yet sure honesty. Pink barely brushed upon purple cheeks. A genuine smile quickly grew.

This time, Lotor was the one who initiated the following kiss.

Keith couldn't find it in him to complain about that at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see from the summary, this is it! The last chapter of this story!! We're all finally here!  
> And since we're at the end, I wanna thank you guys. All of you, no matter when you started reading this fic. No matter if you've ever left a comment or kudos or not. You were all my driving inspiration to keep me going, get me to write at least 1k of new chapters each day no matter how bone tired I was. I wanted to keep updates (somewhat) consistent, and the fact that so many of you enjoyed this helped me keep up that consistency.  
> Thank you for that, and everything else.
> 
> This will have a part 2, but I need a break.  
> you could even say I need...  
>  _respite_
> 
> sorry for that pun  
> enjoy!

"Keith," Lotor said, shifting his position ever so slightly. His grip on Keith readjusted along with it. "No offense, vhen, but is this really necessary?" His tone held the slightest bit of annoyance, but one look at the Prince's face quickly betrayed the act for what it really was. He looked more amused by it than anything else.

Keith simply smiled down at his newly-established boyfriend cradled closely in his arms. The word felt strange- even _foreign-_ to him, but he didn't mind it one bit. It felt far more fitting than any other label someone could slap onto their relationship. The fact that it had never applied to any of Keith's other personal relationships didn't bother him in the slightest.

"I think it is," he said, making his way down the Castle's otherwise dead halls. He liked to think if he could see the countless ghosts in these ancient walls, they'd be looking upon the two of them approvingly. "You're still weak from the pods, right? I'm not letting you pass out before you get something to eat first."

"I... Yes," Lotor admitted with an indignant sigh. "I can admit, I would need your assistance with walking. But that doesn't mean you have to _carry me_ like I don't even _have_ legs." He paused for a quick moment. "...I'm not upset about it, I just simply wish to know why you think all this pomp and circumstance is necessary. That's all."

"I know," Keith told him. "Don't worry." He quirked up a brow at Lotor. "Is it so bad that I want to make my boyfriend feel appreciated? 'Cause if it is, or if you're actually uncomfortable with it, I'll let you down." The world felt even weirder on his tongue. It felt like he'd crossed an unspoken threshold into completely new territory. Like he'd made the recent dreamlike events actually feel real with just a few simple words. 

Looking down upon Lotor's cascading silken hair, toned arms around Keith's neck, and millions of other little such details Keith loved about him, he realized this was it. This was the reality he chose for himself, and he wouldn't change it for anything. Not even Shiro.

He continued questioningly. "Do I have to wait for the next life-threatening event to hold you in my arms?" It was supposed to be a joke, but judging from how Lotor's face fell afterwards, it definitely wasn't taken that way. He let the facade go in favor of concern. "I'm sorry," he said. "I was just joking, I didn't mean anything by--"

"Don't worry so much, kadan," Lotor assured him softly. "You did not offend me in the slightest. It just hadn't dawned upon me that you felt that way. And you're right, I just hadn't noticed that particular trend until you pointed it out." His solemn expression broke with a grin. "If it means we break that little trend, then by all means." He gestured to the empty hallways wide open before both of them. "Take me wherever you wish to go, my darling. I will not mind it one bit."

Keith considered his options. "Well," he said, stopping for a moment. "You need to eat before we do anything else." He looked down to Lotor. "But after that, I know just the place to show you. A place that we probably shouldn't go to right now- the others would most likely kill me if they find out I took you there- but what the hell, right? I have you- I think I have the right to be a little self-indulgent." He could take (and has taken, to be honest) bigger risks than this. It'd be fine, he was sure of it.

Lotor chuckled at that. "I think I can help with the indulgence," he purred in a way Keith had never heard from anyone talking to him before, leaving his eyes half-lidded and a wanton smile on his face. "If you tell me what you're planning to do after the dining hall."

"Right," Keith said, not falling for the bait and instead heading towards the dining hall. Not that Lotor's voice in that tone wasn't insanely attractive. It was, and Keith would love to hear more of it sometime soon, but he was determined to surprise Lotor. A few velvety words and a sultry look were slightly tempting, but definitely not enough to convince him. "Nice try. I told you it was secret for a reason. It's gonna take more than that to get loose lips from me." He raised a brow. "You didn't seriously think I'd be that easy, did you?"

He let the act drop quickly after that with a hum. "In truth, no," he confessed. "But it was definitely worth a try. I'll let you keep it as a surprise." He looked to Keith with interest. "But I must confess, I am interested to see what will garner loose lips from you." The look and the purr came back. "I guess I shall have to find out, hm? If that is fine by you, vhen'hala."

Okay, yeah, Galran (or whatever the language really was) in that tone was... pretty nice. Very nice, with the way it richly rolled off Lotor's skillful tongue. It was as silken smooth as his hair, and--

And that was enough for now. Keith quickly abandoned that thought before anything came of it. He had to stay focused. Yet he couldn't quite suppress the sudden heat in his system enough for Lotor not to see it, judging from the light chuckle that graced his ears. The dining hall door couldn't have come into view soon enough. He walked toward it a bit faster than he normally would have.

This seemed to amuse Lotor even further. "Well," he said. "That's a start, but I shall stop for now." A glint of mischief shone in his eyes. "Something tells me I shall have plenty of time for all of that later. If I am to be honest, I will look forward to it."

Before Keith could respond, the dining hall door opened for the two of them. He had to stop himself from letting out a sigh at the welcome sight. He wasn't sure how much longer he could have lasted if Lotor had decided to continue. Now he could go back to admire Lotor filled with wonder, looking all about his new surroundings.

"So," Lotor looked to him inquisitively. "How will this work? I haven't seen a dining hall quite like this before."

"It's pretty easy," Keith held off on explanation for a moment as he let Lotor down at the head chair. What Allura didn't know wouldn't kill her. He heard the door finally slide shut as he did so, which he couldn't help but find just a bit odd. The door usually never stayed open for that long if no one was going through it.

He quickly shook it off, but for a split second he wondered if they were being followed. But that was impossible. The technometric scanners each doorway had (after the disaster of Sendak's little temporary takeover forever ago) would've been set off if that was the case. Almost no one in this Universe that could've gotten to the Castle didn't have some kind of set-off signal on them. Not to mention he couldn't see anyone.

So he shed his paranoia to enjoy his time with Lotor before the others eventually flooded him with questions. "You wait here," he continued, moving around the chair. "And I'll--"

Lotor's grip fastened onto Keith's wrist and stopped him in his tracks. His eyes were narrow, pointed at the late door before switching to him for a moment. "Wait just a moment, dear." He whispered. When he spoke again, it was out towards whatever unseen intruder they'd had on their hands. "Alright," he said sternly. "Come out now. It's been long enough. You know how I feel about you spying on my private business, Ezor."

A loud sigh interrupted any question Keith could have possibly asked. In a swirling of translucent colors, the previously invisible figure standing a few feet away from them revealed herself reluctantly. He was given a very familiar sight- Ezor, pouting slightly with her arms crossed like a child who didn't quite get what she wanted. "Dammit Lotor," she said. "I really thought I had you for a bit there."

"You did," Lotor confessed. "Up until you delayed the door, I had no idea that you were there. Speaking of which," he raised a brow warily. "How long have you been following us around?"

A good question, but Keith couldn't help but add the one that quickly came to mind. "And, uh, _why_ were you following us?" He tried not to sound too mad about it, but his voice betrayed quite the hard edge. Judging from how Lotor's hand slipped into his just to squeeze it reassuringly, he could guess it was pretty noticeable.

Ezor shrugged, leaning against the closest chair casually. "Ever since Acxa dropped you," she pointed a finger gun right at Keith. "Off back home, pretty much. The main point was just to see how you," the finger gun switched targets quickly. "were doing. It was easy to follow the Paladins down to the pod bay, but it took quite a while for any of them to leave. I waited 'till the last one- the yellow one, Suo- left." 

She shot them a knowing look. A grin was quickly growing on her face. "So I didn't get to hear whatever confession you two had, but I could tell the second you guys came out a couple minutes ago that you must've done something like that. And I..." Her mischief melted to sincerity. "Not gonna lie- I'm happy for you guys." She looked to Lotor. "But... what's the plan, boss?"

Lotor furrowed his brows in slight confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well," she started to explain. "I _mean_ you still have to deal with the Empire's goons, and-" She didn't get the chance to continue for a moment. Keith needed to know what the hell that meant.

"Wait," he looked down to Lotor. "I thought you said you were done with the Empire. Didn't you cut all ties?"

Lotor nodded. "To the best of my ability," he explained. "I am done with the Empire, but it appears they are not quite done with me yet. I cannot imagine why they want me back so badly, but they've been more and more insistent on hunting me down as my mother's health deteriorated." His voice grew quiet. "I've been on the run with Ezor and the others since her passage into the shores beyond life."

Keith didn't say anything, but a nugget of regret gnawed at him. Lotor's face had fallen at remembering the likely painful event. An event that Keith unknowingly brought up, and felt like an immense idiot for doing so now. He only hoped that their fingers interlocking told his message well enough to matter.

"...Yeah, pretty much that," Ezor continued after a heavy moment of silence. "I know that Lotor's gonna wanna talk to you constantly, but as you probably know by now, his comm's busted. None of us have the same model, so they're not compatible with Vrynean networking _at all._ Trust me, we tried back when it first broke. Never even came close to working right." Ezor looked to Lotor questioningly. "So..."

Given that information, it didn't take long for Keith's mind to formulate a plan that worked out pretty well for all parties involved. Maybe. He needed to get something cleared up first. "Question," he said. "The Empire aren't after you guys, right? Are they just looking for him, or...?"

Ezor nodded quickly. "Pretty much," she said. "None of us were ever part of the Empire except for Lotor, so it's pretty doubtful they even know the rest of us exist." She raised a brow. "Why do ya' ask?"

When he looked to Lotor's face, he held roughly the same expression she did. It would probably be subject to extreme change pretty soon. Keith's plan was a bit of a risk, but it really was better for all worthwhile parties involved. That was enough for him to actually express it.

Of course, Keith didn't take much time to explain it. It was pretty straightforward anyways. All he did was look Lotor dead in the eyes and say three simple words he'd never uttered to anyone else in his life before- "Live with me."

The reaction was immediate. Lotor's eyes widened in surprise, his brows shooting straight up at the really forward proposition. _"What?"_ seemed to be the only word Lotor's tongue could formulate, for he kept repeating it. Dark pink dusted his face quite liberally as he started to struggle with saying something else. It wasn't very successful, but Keith could commend him for trying. 

"Well," he could hear Ezor mutter to herself. "That was fast."

"Okay, I-" Keith struggled to come up with something to say, but quickly gave up on it. He sighed. "Let me explain my reasoning here: you," he looked right at Lotor. "Need a safe place to stay from the Empire's clutches." He glanced to Ezor. "You and your friends don't need to run about the Universe with the same urgency he does. You don't have to worry about the Empire, except for his sake."

"And you," Ezor picked up on his way of thinking first. Lotor was still deep in thought, letting the reasoning wash over him. "Want your boyfriend to be closer to you all the time."

"I want him to be as safe as he can be," Keith told her, ignoring her candid surprise at the confession. "Anything else is secondary to that, but yeah. I'll admit it- I wouldn't have felt comfortable with asking if we weren't together." He looked to Lotor, leaning down slightly. "It's not a guaranteed thing- I'll have to consult it with the others first- but the Castle has plenty of room. You won't have to worry about the Empire here, trust me. Black and I will definitely make sure of that." He paused for a moment, gauging Lotor's reaction for a moment. It was roughly the same contemplative expression, with the brows furrowed with just a bit more intensity now. "It's not the most perfect plan ever, but I think it's the best we've really got. But... this is ultimately your choice." He quirked up a brow. "What do you think?"

Lotor didn't respond for a moment, but he did finally move his gaze. It softened at the sight of their hands naturally clasped together, then shifted to gaze back into Keith's eyes. He softly smiled up at Keith, leaning in ever so slightly. Keith unconsciously did the same.

"I think it's wonderful," Lotor finally spoke, his eyes sparkling like the most dazzling stars in the night sky. "As are you, ma hala ga wáran."

Without a moment of hesitation, Lotor went in for the kill immediately after that. His lips were warm and firm upon Keith's, sure of what they wanted down to the letter. They moved upon Keith's lips for the first time, slow and gentle yet... experienced. He knew exactly what he was doing and what he was going to get, and Keith allowed him to take it. His own lips were pliant to every slight probing. They were new, but eager to learn. Lotor seemed eager to teach.

Of course, their little moment didn't last very long. Certainly not as long as Keith would have liked it to. But for as long as it lasted, it was absolutely marvelous. Considering that his only frame of reference with kissing in general were the ones between him and Lotor, at least. Maybe it wasn't the same for someone more experienced with it like Lotor seemed to be, but he couldn't help but hope he felt the same way about all this.

The sensation of Lotor's lips upon his own were quickly becoming a strange sort of familiarity, one that he didn't mind in the slightest. It was the rush of falling, air whirling past his ears in a free falling paradise while staying rooted to the ground. It was the adrenaline pumping thrill of escape without taking a single step. For the few moments it lasted, the kiss was everything to him.

While the others held varying degrees of stiff awkwardness to them, this particular kiss didn't. It was a kind of dance, in a way- just using a different part of the body most dances never bother to use. Keith, even with his general inexperience, tried his hardest to lead the dance along without freaking out about it with varying levels of success. 

Now, however? Now was completely different. Different from anything he'd ever experienced. Dance-wise, at least. He simply just... remained calm. Adaptable with anything blocking his path, but hard-set against anything he knew was wrong. In such an abstract way, it reminded him of being a leader. Difficult to learn, but oh-so worth it when he actually got it right.

It took an obvious throat clearing from across the room to make him remember Ezor was still in the room with them. Hanging out, just... kinda forced to wait for her friend to stop making out with his boyfriend so she could get a legitimate answer from him. Probably trying to block it all out while she was at it.

Keith stopped, looking down at Lotor's expression sheepishly. Creators, he hoped he didn't look like too big of a mess. With the way Lotor was looking up at him with a familiar warmth and fondness, he really couldn't tell. But it probably didn't matter much in his eyes. So Keith decided to just continue on with business as normal. Might as well, right? "So," he spoke up. "That's... a yes? If the others approve of it?"

Lotor chuckled. "Of course it was," he said. "I thought kisses served as clear and viable answers to any question with you." At first Keith thought that was a completely innocent answer and would have left it at that, but the shit-eating grin on Lotor's face was pretty hard to miss and understand. That was a jab at him back at the pod bay.

But instead of calling him out on it, Keith decided to do something rather bold. Something he usually wouldn't do to anyone, romantic relationship or not. (At least, the romantic relationship would have to be a hell of a lot older than half an hour for him to consider doing it so naturally.) This moment was an outlier. Probably because he was so damn exhausted from an evening like this that he just didn't give a shit about what was probably acceptable anymore. Today's been weird anyways, so this was nothing.

"You're right," he said with a hum, moving in closer. Lotor's gaze on him shifted slightly, probably wondering what the hell he was planning to do. He dropped his gaze and teased his bottom lip with his teeth like he was considering something. "And since you decided to follow my example..." Still leaning in, Keith whispered intimately to Lotor. "I think I'm gonna follow yours." And without a moment's hesitation, Keith shifted his body to sit sideways on Lotor's lap and drape his arms around his boyfriend's neck. The exact same position Lotor himself was in not too long ago. Turnabout is fair play.

He couldn't suppress his smile at feeling how Lotor's body tensed up at the sudden turn of events. Thin white brows raised as his boyfriend's beautiful wide eyes met his own. He could practically _feel_ how Lotor's skin heated up at the new and unusually intimate contact.

"I-" He tried to formulate words with little success. So instead, he looked out to Ezor for some kind of assistance. Keith did the same expectantly, hoping she wouldn't intervene at all. He wanted to see how Lotor would get himself out of this situation. Or if he even wanted to.

Ezor held both hands up defensively. "Don't look at _me,"_ she said, stepping back in the direction of the door. "I love you like a brother, but this is all you, buddy." Another backward step. "You dug this hole for yourself, you can find a way out of it. Acxa just wanted me to find out what the situation with you was, and I think all the PDA's a pretty clear answer, so-" she turned and ran out the door quickly with a fast-paced call of _"seeyabye!"_

Silence settled over the room for a few dragging moments. The weight of the knowledge that they were truly alone together now seemed to settle on both of their shoulders. It didn't bother Keith at all. He just looked back to Lotor with a triumphant smile. He noted with immense satisfaction that Lotor was still wide-eyed and noticeably blushing at the contact. That was enough for Keith to finally clamber off of him.

"Well," he said as he moved. "I'm not a good cook at all, but the Castle has plenty of this green gooey stuff in a dispenser in the kitchen," he gestured to the kitchen's closed door. Lotor's gaze followed in the same direction, trying his hardest to keep his composure. Keith could see it in his eyes. "I'm sure Alteans have some fancy name for it or whatever, but we just call it food goo. It's _much_ easier. If you're gonna live here, you're gonna have to get used to it. It's a bit weird tasting at first, but..." He shrugged. "Eventually it doesn't get so bad. I've even grown to like it, so I'm sure you will too." 

He turned around and started to head for the kitchen door. "I'm just gonna get you a small bowl of it for now, give you a bearing for the taste of it and make sure you get some food in your system. And then," he looked back with a promising smile. "The big surprise." In the spur of the moment, Keith's subconscious apparently decided that ending that with a wink was the best idea ever. He just went along with it, turning his head back around and walking to and through the rapidly opening door.

As soon as the kitchen door slid shut behind him, Keith stopped. The gravity of the recent events that just transpired finally weighed down upon him like a pile-drive from Hunk times probably a thousand. It sucker punched him so hard he would've breathlessly seen stars if it had actually happened.

A churning sea of different emotions washed over him. Mostly mortification at how _easy_ it had been to lose track of common sense or shame around Lotor. It just felt... natural to throw caution to the wind and just... be himself utterly and completely. No inhibitions, no judgement, and no worries to deal with whatsoever. Like his kiss was lined with the strongest form of Traryan Serum imaginable while still making Keith feel immensely sober. He felt the same way as he mindlessly prepared two bowls for both of them.

It was both insanely thrilling and absolutely terrifying at the same time, all the time in Lotor's magnetic presence. He was just so... _easy_ for Keith to get along with. And Keith knew for a fact that he was tough to deal with most of the time, even with effort. It was easier not to waste time on such a tangled mess. Shiro would've never said it to his face, but he knew that sometimes even his own brother thought the same thing.

Then Lotor waltzed into his life. Made all his protective walls crumble away like wet tissue paper with nothing but a dazzling smile and a strong sense of respect. Breached his defenses with empathy and unconditional understanding. All that flowery prose and other fancy phrases he was frankly too damn tired to think up at the moment.

The only thing Keith couldn't help but figure out was- _how?_ How did everything about one person make him feel this way so quickly, even though he'd never felt so before? How did Lotor do it? How did he just... turn all rational thought in Keith's head off without even seeming to try?

The answer to all his questions suddenly came to him in a blinding and disoriented rush, like the first breath taken out of water after nearly drowning.

Even to himself, it sounded like a line from some cheesy hallmark rom-com as the guy catches up to the girl as she's trying to leave the city to pursue her dream. One that would be said in the speech he improvises that convinces her to stay with him no matter how atrociously written or lowkey creepy the actual speech was.

It was just _him._ Nothing special other than Lotor that made Keith fall so quickly.

Sure- he thought as he prepared to carry both bowls of food goo- he could blame it all on the celestial bond between them. It was easy to blame it all on fate, curse the skies above for setting the entire Universe on this predetermined path. But that was too cheap, too simple, too _wrong_ for him to accept as an option. It certainly played a role in bringing them together, but it was nowhere near the starring one.

It could be argued in the other way, that saying it was just Lotor was too simple to be an acceptable truth. He'd be the first to admit that argument had a pretty fair point.

But, looking at Lotor's warm smile blooming at the sight of him entering the dining hall, Keith couldn't bring it in himself to believe otherwise. The soft graze of their fingertips when Keith handed him his bowl and the shy brush of long hair behind his ear immediately after the contact and before actually starting to eat confirmed his theory without a single uttered word. With someone like the Prince before him, how could Keith _not_ fall for that?

So what if it was too simple? Keith was tired of complications. It wouldn't kill him to have one thing, one beautiful and miraculous thing, in his chaotic life that was exactly what it appeared to be. He needed a little bit of simplicity in his life.

...But did Lotor need the same? Did Lotor feel the same way as he did about all this? It was far too early to truly say, but that didn't stop his blunt tongue from giving his impulsive thoughts their time to shine.

"Lotor," he blurted out, moving his eyes up from their mindless fixation on his own bowl of untouched food goo. He quirked up a brow. "Why me?"

Unlike Keith, Lotor had actually been eating instead of drifting off into wondering and wandering thought. As a matter of fact, he was at least halfway done with his bowl already. So it took him a moment to swallow his food and respond to Keith's sudden question. He looked confused and concerned at Keith. "Forgive me," he said, tilting his head to the side slightly. "But... I beg your pardon? What do you mean by that?"

"Well," Keith struggled to coherently put his thoughts into actual words. "I... You're so, uh..." He gestured to Lotor. _"you."_ That seemed to just confuse Lotor further. Keith mentally kicked himself. "I mean, I've heard you've been, um... _involved_ with people in the past, and I can definitely see why." He chuckled nervously at that, desperate to loosen his own tension. "What I can't see is, uhm... why you'd choose... Well, someone like me."

Lotor brows furrowed deeper in concern. He put his spoon down, letting it fall onto his bowl without a care in the Universe for it. "'Someone like you'?" He seemed legitimately confused about the simple statement. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Oh, Keith could roll out a list of answers to that question as long as the damn table. But it felt to himself like he was just trying to fish for compliments and he _hated_ it. He needed to downplay the self-deprecation. He didn't want to guilt Lotor into saying something nice about him- Creators this was so dumb why did he even bother with--

"Keith," a cool and calloused palm sliding over his hand stopped his train of thought in its tracks. "Look at me, ma vhen'hala." He only continued once Keith obeyed the simple softly spoken order. "The reason I asked is because I couldn't comprehend why you saw value in me, yet not yourself. But you asked for an answer, and I will happily give it to you." 

His fingers curled around Keith's hand, holding it tightly yet tenderly. As he spoke, one could see he was deathly serious by just one look in his eyes. "You have a rare and marvelous spirit, ga wáran. Seeing how your mind works and the choices you make is absolutely _fascinating_ to me, and has been such since before I even had a hope of meeting you in person. Getting this close to you has not diminished that view in any shape or form."

Keith was silent as he spoke, absolutely captivated by every word that rolled off his tongue into the open air like a siren's song in the dead of night. He didn't even think about interrupting Lotor's explanation while he spoke it. It seemed wrong to do so, to ask a question and then cut off the actual answer. So he simply waited for Lotor to finish.

"I have been with many partners," Lotor admitted. "That is true, and I hope it doesn't bother you. Many of them didn't last longer than a few weeks." He shrugged. "I am commonly the one to break things off. I've lived long enough to know when it is time to go, and it gets easier every time. Character is usually easy to judge once you know how to do it. Too many people in this universe are about as deep as puddles, but you?" His gaze focused on Keith through thin white lashes. His grip on Keith's hand squeezed a moment. "You, Keith Kogane, are an ocean of insurmountable depth and treasure. And if you would have me, I would love nothing more than exploring it at length by your side. I could not have truly said that to any of the others." He tapped on Keith's hand. "That is one of the many reasons I chose you, Keith." 

He quirked up a brow. "May I ask the same of you before we go... wherever you wish to surprise me with?" He nudged his bowl away. "The food goo is wonderful, but your company is much better."

"Uh-huh," Keith didn't buy that for a second. "You just want to hurry up and get to the surprise, don't you?"

Lotor shrugged with an admitting smile. "Perhaps," he confessed. "But really, I am fine. I've had enough for now." He raised a brow with obvious curiosity. "So...?"

Oh. Right. Lotor actually wanted an answer to his question. It wouldn't be too hard to provide- all Keith had to do was list a couple of reasons, mainly cause he didn't want to keep them here all night listing every reason why. No big deal. He could do this, he thought as he let their fingers interlock.

"I'm, uh," he said awkwardly, already off to a good start. "I'm not as good with words as you are, but I can try." He looked Lotor dead in the eyes. "The moment I laid eyes on you... my breath caught in my throat. You looked ethereal out there, bathed in the moonlight. For a split second, I didn't think you were real." He squeezed Lotor's hand. "I know for sure now that you are, but I still can't help but wonder every time I see you. Like you're a dream that I haven't managed to wake up from yet." He smiled. "I... I can't even express how glad I am that you're not."

Lotor looked... absolutely spellbound as he spoke. Keith could tell that whatever he said, Lotor would absorb every word happily. It was... strangely easy to keep talking when he knew that he had an audience like that. So he kept going.

"I... haven't been with anyone before you," he said outright, noting how Lotor's brows raised in mild surprise at the idea. "It doesn't bother me at all that you have, but I just wanted you to know." His gaze dropped forlornly, his thumb absentmindedly tracing over Lotor's knuckles. "Growing up... not a lot of people truly liked me. For a variety of reasons- I was the weird orphan kid, I was quiet, I didn't know how to properly interact with most people, and I didn't even _like_ interacting with them for very long. I felt... separate from everyone around me, and until recently, I didn't know why. I haven't really had the chance to tell you yet, but..." He met Lotor's gaze again. "I'm half Galra. My mom was Galra, my dad was human. And in the end... both left me."

Lotor's expression softened empathetically. "Keith..." He tried to speak, but Keith beat him to it.

"I knew you probably wouldn't care," he said. "But I..." He sighed. "It's still a sore point for me. I don't like talking about it." He paused for a moment. "The reason I chose you was because of your empathy and kindness. You always showed both to me without hesitation and without fail, and I..." He chuckled admittedly. "I'm a sucker for that, not gonna lie. It's hard for me to truly trust people, but for you it was easy. At first it scared me how easy it was to talk to you," he smiled softly. "But I don't mind it much anymore." He stood up from his seat. "Now come on. I think it's time for the surprise."

He'd never seen Lotor get up faster than he did in that moment. The two of them were quick to clean up their mess, putting the uneaten food goo in the little re-processor on the wall by the kitchen. The bowls were left in the tiny sink, and they were racing out the door in an adrenaline rush of complete and total freedom in the moment. It felt like they could topple the Empire themselves, rebuild the entire Universe and lead it into a new and truly prosperous age. As long as they were together- connected by nothing but their hands- it felt like they could do anything.

Eventually Keith asked Lotor to close his eyes and not to open them until he said so to make the surprise that much sweeter. Lotor did so without a moment of hesitation. He trusted Keith enough to be his eyes and lead him through the halls leading to the entrance to Black's hangar, and Keith did such.

Lotor's laughter echoed through the small hangar tunnel as they zipped through it. His arms were secure and tight around Keith, and he'd be lying if he said that alone wasn't worth this whole thing. He grabbed Lotor's hand once more when they got off the Altean zip line into the even smaller sliding tunnel. The little black shuttle wasn't big enough for the two of them to separately sit, so he improvised. This time, when Keith held him in his arms, Lotor didn't complain a bit.

"Keith," he said at about the time they finally arrived at the hangar door. "Are we almost there?"

"Yup," Keith told him as the shuttle stopped and the hangar doors slid open for them. "Just a tiny bit further." He let Lotor down out of the shuttle carefully before getting out himself. Their hands quickly met with each other again as Keith led Lotor to the surprise.

 _Keith,_ Black said, her own surprise palpable as soon as the doors opened. _Is that...?_

 _**Yup,**_ he said with a curt nod for emphasis. _**I think you can figure out why. I wanted to surprise him by meeting you in person. He won't be able to come in if you don't want him to, but...**_

 _Well,_ her emotions were muddled, almost impossible to read. _Those are agreeable terms. Keith, you... enjoy Lotor's company very much, right? Would it be alright if I made the surprise a bit more... special for him?_

He was curious to see what that meant, so he quickly nodded. He didn't regret it at all once he saw what she had apparently had in mind when she asked that.

A dark purple quickly swept in and overtook Black's normally golden eyes. They shimmered and shone in a crystalline way, almost like...

Almost like the crystal from her marleta on Daibazaal. A picture perfect memory of it specifically, which might also mean...

Amusement rippled through him as she did exactly what he was expecting her to. The entire hangar was filled with a noticeable glow showing an indigo night sky rich with scintillating stars like diamonds all around them. It was obviously just a projection, but it was a breathtakingly beautiful projection. It was the cherry on top of the surprise, the little missing piece he didn't know he'd been missing from this.

 _**Thank you, Black,**_ he told her appreciatively as the two of them stopped right at where she'd usually bend down and let him in to pilot her. _**For... for everything.** _ He knew he didn't need to say anything more than that to her. Her understanding hummed in his skin.

"Okay," he said. "Time for your surprise, Lotor." He moved to see his boyfriend's reaction better. "Open your eyes."

Lotor's eyes fluttered open slowly at first, then quickly opened all the way as soon as he saw what his surprise was. He looked at his surroundings with unabashed wonder and awe, completely blind to the fact that Keith was watching him fondly. Admiring how the stars illuminated his frame. He went over to sit securely on Black's right front paw. There was more than enough room for more than one person on there. _"Creators,"_ he breathed. It took him a moment to look back to Keith. "This is..." His gaze flickered to Black before returning to him. "Does she know about...?"

"Us?" Keith finished for him. "Yeah, she does. It'll take a while for her to trust you enough to physically let you inside, but she approves."

Lotor smiled fondly, striding towards him. He quickly sat next to Keith on her paw. "I'm glad she does," he said. "And I will definitely keep the fact that you're close to a giant legendary warrior who could crush me like a bug in mind." It was said jokingly, but Lotor put his hand on Black's leg and looked up at her. "Don't worry," he told her softly. "I'll take care of him."

 _You better,_ Black warned, completely serious. _I will definitely keep the crushing part in mind if he intentionally crushes your heart. Tell him that._

Keith repeated it almost word for word, and Lotor chuckled warmly. He leaned over, resting his head on Keith's shoulder and let their hands slowly drift back together. "Well," he said softly, looking to Keith. "I'm glad you have someone else who cares about you so much." He quirked up a brow. "Does she have any advice for us?"

Keith was expecting something sagely, a wise warning against something that could ruin either (or both) of them and their happiness. He definitely wasn't expecting what she actually said in place of that.

 _Yes,_ she said bluntly. _Use protection._ Once again, she was completely serious about it. That only made it funnier.

Keith couldn't contain the initial outburst of surprised laughter at the sudden forwardness of her advice. He had to bite his bottom lip to keep from continuing as Lotor looked at him curiously.

"What's so funny?" He asked. "What did she say?"

"Nothing," Keith lied, shifting to make himself more comfortable as he leaned against Lotor's comforting presence. "Nothing important, anyway." He left it at that, and Lotor didn't pry into it further. They just... enjoyed each other's company wrapped in the warm and comfortable blanket of silence.

He rested his head against Lotor's, feeling his drowsiness at the comfort starting to overtake him. Lotor didn't look too awake himself. It probably wouldn't be long now before the urge to sleep conquered both of them.

But he didn't mind that a bit. For the life of him, he couldn't think of a better place to fall asleep- surrounded by Black's comforting hum and their own little night sky. Not to mention he had his own glimmering star right next to him. 

Yeah, this was the life. Not a care in the world for tomorrow's troubles, yet an underlying determination that he could handle whatever was thrown at him. With the team and Lotor at his side, he felt better than he had in... well, a _really_ long time. Only one thing could have improved all this, but for once, Keith felt completely... okay with the fact that he was gone.

They'd try to find him, no doubt about that. But if he never saw Shiro again, he was certain he'd survive.

His hand slid into Lotor's, and he closed his eyes.

For once in his life, Keith was completely at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


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